My son is almost 23 years old, married for 6 months, and is a first year law student. His wife is emotionally very tied to her mother (unnaturally it seems as they are more like sisters than friends) and has decided without reason to never contact or return contact from anyone in our family. Nevertheless, I continue to support their marriage with phone calls, emails, and gifts to her as well as to my son. I am a single parent; the biological father's rights were terminated. My son is close to his grandfather and they talk almost daily.
It seems as if lately my son has stopped talking to me about his law career and anything else (I am a paralegal and we have shared this interest for awhile) and increased his calls to his mother-in-law. I understand his need for independence, but this woman sucks the life out of people and is very selfish, as is her daughter. I keep in contact with my son's mother-in-law because I am trying to support my son's marriage.
I have a visit in a few weeks to see my son in a moot court competition. We live 1000 miles apart. I am afraid he will not see me. He and his wife live one hour from her mother (they spent 10 days in their home at Christmas, which is strange for newlyweds). I believe that his wife's immaturity (e.g. she still calls her parents' house her home) is a source of frustration for my son and he might be calling his mother-in-law about those issues (unwise in my opinion but I have kept that to myself).
Sometimes I think that my son compartmentalizes relationships and views ours as in the past. I am evolving and have new interests to share with him, but I feel that nothing is working. Any suggestions? The pain some days is unbearable.