[PvtPilot1974]

I recently, within the past 3 months, commit suicide - since then I have noticed shadows out for the corner of my eye from time to time. We were very close for the past 7 years, like brothers. He had originally pushed me away towards the end of his life, about a month and half and then committed suicide. I found out, about his death, via a text from another one of my friends, not knowing until then, apparently they thought I would have already known. I drove to his house that day, he died the day before, to see if this was true (pretty difficult to imagine such a thing.) Another one of his friends was at the house when I showed up and he "somewhat" explained what had happened. After talking a while he (the person at the house) tells me that he needs to clean the house so his mom doesn't have to see what happened. Nothing bloody, he basically sufficated himself in the bathroom using a make-shift bbq grill... just weird.. So it goes on that this other guy couldn't deal with what had happened and couldn't come to gribs to clean out the bathroom. Being a stubborn person and extremely pissed off at the time, I clean the mess, all of it... (wasn't one of my better choices in life to do, but I did it anyway.) After all of this, I came back home, washed up and about a few days later began to see shadows out of the corner of my eye. At first thought nothing of it, but keeps happening from time to time. My wife has also told me she see things too, so I'm not crazy... Well just trying to figure out, if anyone knows or can give me some type of insight on this.

Thank you for your time.

PvtPilot1974

[Capuchin]

In my opinion you're just noticing things you never noticed before through wishful thinking that this person is still around you. In other words you're mourning. The shadow's aren't really there and are just a part of the way you're coping with the loss.

Your friend is at peace, I hope you can come to terms with the loss.

[PvtPilot1974]

Thanks for the info Capuchin, yeah, still mouning here and there, more still pissed off and the situation, but it was his choice not ours.. I appreciate the time you took to read my info and respond.

Thank you again!

PvtPilot1974 - AZ, USA

In my opinion you're just noticing things you never noticed before through wishful thinking that this person is still around you. In other words you're mourning. The shadow's arent really there and are just a part of the way you're coping with the loss.

Your friend is at peace, I hope you can come to terms with the loss.

[Alder]

I am very sorry to hear about your friend. Even though he pushed you away toward the end, I can tell you were close, and this is a big loss. Suicide in particular is very traumatic for everyone around. May you find healing for yourself and for your friend who went into this despair.

Without getting into a debate about whether what you are experiencing is "real," I will just say that when you come close to a death, it leaves a profound effect on you. A shadow on your aura, would be one way to describe it. It changes you in a way. It changes your state of consciousness, so you may experience things you didn't before. Gradually, you will assimilate it into your soul, your being. You never fully get rid of it, but getting rid of it is not the point. You don't become wise by getting rid of profound experiences, but by harmonizing them within yourself.

Being near a death can make you a different person. Learning how to accept it can help you make sure that the different person you become is a better person, stronger. Accepting death as a part of this world can help in connecting to the sacredness of life. Sometimes that may mean seeing and hearing things that people who have not had your experiences cannot understand.

Blessings of peace to you.