Adirup, I want to encourage you to take pride in yourself, in being Indian. I have read the posts and am understanding why you would type what you did. You sound like you have a lot of desire to make a better life for yourself, that you have a lot of respect for those trying to better themselves. That is admirable. The field you are studying will greatly improve your opportunity for sure. My son programs in Java and it has provided many opportunities.
I know that unless you live in a country, you cannot really identify with those who do totally but one thing to remember is that people are the same everywhere to a degree. Customs, manners, culture, all come into play. But we all deal with some type of problems, it is part of life.
It sounds like you are desiring a lot of order and structure in your life. Travel may be the best option for you at some point to see if you can find what you are searching for.
After traveling, you may come full circle and find that you have more love for your India than you realize right now. When I read your posts, I almost felt I could not breath. I tend to empathize greatly with people. So, although I do not live in India, I have a heart for what you write. I know that does not help you but just wanted you to know we are listening and really trying to hear what you are saying and how you are feeling.
Time will give you your answers. While I have had good experiences with policeman helping, I have also had horrible ones. We had death threats on our two children and was lied to and our evidence lost out of the police evidence room and the Chief of Police said, "We lost your evidence, so sue us!" Thankfully, the Lord protected my children even though our house was set on fire, our daughters car was burned in our drive way, and phone calls saying this man would blow our oldest child's head off soon, soon, soon. Makes my stomach sick to even write about this but am doing so to let you know, there are problems everywhere. Good and bad co-exist everywhere you go. That was years ago, the man was never brought to justice although the police knew who he was, he had friends in high places, a brother in politics, etc. I have also had experiences where the police really cared about things going on and were proud of their job and did it well.
Since you are where you are right now and doing your studies, try to look for the good, try to concentrate on the positive things of your India, the beauty of the culture, even though the area you speak of does not sound so beautiful. Hollywood glamorizes everything. That is why most people, including myself, have the wrong impressions of countries, people, what is important in life, what our goals should be. Look deep into your heart everyday, love your family, study hard, be open to opportunities that come your way, but be proud of who you are and of your country. We can dislike a lot about where we live or who we have to be around at times, I am not saying you should not voice these things. It is healthy to do so and that is one reason this site is so needed and special. I just don't want you to feel discouraged. I will continue to view this thread from time to time and hope in future, we see good things coming to your life that will make you happy and content. If that means settling in another country, then that is fine also. I would not be one to say stay if you are discontent. I was once told by a pastor friend, "You won't have the freedom to leave until you have the freedom to stay." I think he was saying to make choices for the right reasons, not just because I was unhappy with a few things because there are trials and struggles everywhere. Best to you!
