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moviebuffer · Oct 14, 2011, 11:35 AM

Is it right to ask for or accept monetary donations or some kind of financial assistance when you are struggling financially yet have assets, e.g. retirement funds you can't access without taking a penalty? Some people have very expensive homes or vehicles and they haven't set any money aside for emergencies. Yet when they have a medical crisis or flooding or something, they get charitable donations. Sometimes donors have no such resources or far less resources than those who are receiving the donations. They may not realize that their money is going to people who have a lot more than they have. If you apply for public funds, you won't get them if you have resources, but you may get funds from charitable giving. I ask this because someone asked me to do them a favor which cost me about $50.00 and four hours. I was glad to do it, but they asked because they were struggling financially and would have had to access their retirement funds to do it themselves. My "retirement funds" consist of what I may get in social security and less then $10k in an IRA and I'm between 50 and 60 years old. I'm upside-down in my mortgage but at least that is my only debt. Your thoughts?

cdad · Oct 15, 2011, 07:24 AM

Here is the thing. A crisis knows no boundries. But the idea behind giving during a crisis is that it will be passed along. It is for the good of the many. Right now you may be limited but if the time comes and you find yourself in a position where you can give back wouldn't you? If the answer is yes then there should be no guilt. If the answer is no then you have the right to be guilt ridden as your just taking advantage of the system.

I think you see my point here. We do what we can for others because we can. Its not about the return. Its about the investment.

moviebuffer · Oct 15, 2011, 03:14 PM

Thanks so much for responding. I really wanted to get people's views on this and I appreciate that you shared and expressed your thoughts without condemning me for asking.

twinkiedooter · Oct 20, 2011, 03:36 PM

Seems like your cheap friends really don't care about anyone else but themselves. I would have not given them a dime let alone 4 hours of my time if they had a cushy retirement account. Some people just have no conscience when it comes to asking someone who has much, much less than they do to donate money and time to them. You did this out of the kindness of your heart. I hope they someday appreciate you as a friend and not just a gimme gimme handout person to hit up in the future for more money and more time.

It galls me when folks who have lots of money and few brains happily run short and think they deserve to be helped out. Not in my book. I would rather give my money to a homeless person than to someone living in a nice home, driving a brand new car who now suddenly has no money. Let them experience the anxiety that comes with doing without for a change.

JudyKayTee · Oct 22, 2011, 10:22 AM

Originally Posted by moviebuffer

I ask this because someone asked me to do them a favor which cost me about $50.00 and four hours. I was glad to do it, but they asked because they were struggling financially and would have had to access their retirement funds to do it themselves. My "retirement funds" consist of what I may get in social security and less then $10k in an IRA and I'm between 50 and 60 years old. I'm upside-down in my mortgage but at least that is my only debt. Your thoughts?

If your friends misled you and so you volunteered, yes, they took advantage. If you knew the situation going on, then you allowed them to take advantage of you.

I have always found that "struggling" is in the eyes of the beholder. I certainly have friends who are "struggling" but get their hair and nails done weekly.

twinkiedooter · Oct 24, 2011, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

If your friends misled you and so you volunteered, yes, they took advantage. If you knew the situation going on, then you allowed them to take advantage of you.

I have always found that "struggling" is in the eyes of the beholder. I certainly have friends who are "struggling" but get their hair and nails done weekly.

Reminds me of one of my girlfriends in Florida. She would always hit me up for packs of cigarettes (and I don't smoke) and everything else she could like rides here and rides there. When she died her adult daughter told me she had well over $50,000 in stocks and bonds! Boy was I ever a chump and got played good. Never again I vowed when I found that out. She saw me coming and conned me good.