Ask Me Help Desk - How many times have we read this one?

How many times have we read this one?

Hi,

In this paragraph I'm going to introduce my problem and then quickly state the solution that should be correct, but this is not what I want to do. I want other solutions that don't exist.

Now I'm going to give more details about why I'm really mad at the person or thing that is the subject of my question and how unfair the situation seems to me. Than Im going to immediately talk about why the correct solution won't apply to me because my situation is, like, so totally different than anything anyone on earth has ever had to deal with.

I will end with a phrase stating that I urgently require this solution that doesn't exist and wait for my answer.

I would hate to tell you how many times I have seen that scenario and then the OP gets majorally p.o.'d at the answers because the answers make sense and that is not what the OP wants to have validated.

> Thought provoking discourse on the futility of teaching certain users the correct use of cognitive ability while dealing with deep and underlying failures in their continued communication with other denizens of this community. <

<Frustrated and annoyed answer that the OP won't pay attention to but other people who think they understand the OP better than I will jump all over and yell at me about>

How about:

Here is a partial explanation of what is bothering me. What should I do?

Here are some additional questions. Please provide a bit more detail so that we can give you the proper guidance.

(reddie)*disagrees: What? Are you stupid or something! If I wanted to answer questions I wouldn't have asked for help. Since I know what I want, you should be able to determine through osmosis what I am talking about! I am never coming back here again. Why do you list yourselves as experts? You are stupid people. You can't read minds!

Perfectly put!

Is this where I defensively inflict insults to posters trying to help when they tell me what I don't want to hear?

Yup, Emmy.

By the way lowtax, forgot to give you kudos on your post. Well done!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curlyben

> Thought provoking discourse on the futility of teaching certain users the correct use of cognitive ability while dealing with deep and underlying failures in their continued communication with other denizens of this community. <

Hehe curly should have been a psychiatrist :p

All of you are just wonderful and insightful (no I am not being facetious) I really mean it !

Mmmmm Knowledge through osmosis.

Definition #2 Cappy:

Os·mo·sis(z-mss, s-)
n. pl. os·mo·ses (-sz)
1.
a. Diffusion of fluid through a semipermeable membrane from a solution with a low solute concentration to a solution with a higher solute concentration until there is an equal concentration of fluid on both sides of the membrane.
b. The tendency of fluids to diffuse in such a manner.

2. A gradual, often unconscious process of assimilation or absorption: learned French by osmosis while residing in Paris for 15 years.

I find a good NON-Volatile Memory Adjuster works a lot better ;)

Ruby,

It reminds me of the old university tactic of studying using osmosis: putting the textbook under your pillow and hoping the knowledges leeches into your brain overnight. :)

Exactly NK! Shouldn't we just be able to do that using our computer screens?

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Ruby,

It reminds me of the old university tactic of studying using osmosis: putting the textbook under your pillow and hoping the knowledges leeches into your brain overnight. :)

I tried this and it hurt my neck. (it was a very large book)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curlyben

I find a good NON-Volatile Memory Adjuster works alot better ;)

What do you mean CB? I haven't been able to effectively do the "computer screen" method the OP expects from us that I described. What you are suggesting -- does it involve heavy drinking? I like the idea, but I find that it doesn't help my memory.;)

NVMA's come in various sizes; 3lb, 6lb and my fave the 12lb ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lowtax4eva

Hi,

In this paragraph im going to introduce my problem and then quickly state the solution that should be correct, but this is not what i want to do. I want other solutions that dont exist.

Now im going to give more details about why im really mad at the person or thing that is the subject of my question and how unfair the situation seems to me. Than Im going to immediately talk about why the correct solution wont apply to me because my situation is, like, so totally different than anything anyone on earth has ever had to deal with.

I will end with a phrase stating that i urgently require this solution that doesnt exist and wait for my answer.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha... how true, how true.
Well, no one else could have gone through it... the person writing the complaint is original, just like everyone else.

I don't mind the dumb questions, but does it take 3 posts in 3 categories to get 3 answers?

Talaniman, you have to keep asking until you get the answer you want, doncha know.

Hello:

It's a good thing you got me around here to clean up after you. I ALWAYS tell them what they want to hear. What?? Isn't that our job? I'm so warm and fuzzy with 'em. They love it here cause of me.

excon

Oh my gosh, Just answered a post. Was informed to view profile and the OP had 6 questions in the last month and a half. The bad news, I was already on 5 of them, with pretty much the same answer. Serves them right for asking the same question. Pass the koolaid.

Wow, I totally forgot what exactly prompted me to make this one, I must have been fed up about something. I'm glad to see it's not just me that feels this way sometimes and very awesome that this generated so many responses.

And yes, sometimes it does seem someone is waiting for them to be told their case is special and the obvious (only) solution won't apply to them. "Here's a link to a solution that doesnt exist, for your conveninence it's in bullet points, and the bullet points are large red arrows"

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello:

It's a good thing you got me around here to clean up after you. I ALWAYS tell them what they want to hear. What??? Isn't that our job? I'm so warm and fuzzy with 'em. They love it here cause of me.

excon

And a fine job you do with that.:eek:

All of this is SO true, so hilarious, and just brilliant! You have all put a huge smile on my face today, thanks!

I was wondering if it was also written somewhere (that I have obviously missed!) that it is somehow more beneficial if different people continue to post the same response to an OP particularly when the OP has never checked back and the OP is oh say MONTHS OLD! Except for the sole purpose of "upping" their own post count? Or is it just silly ole me that finds that horrifically annoying?

LOL... nice... Matt is the culprit... you should be taken out and publicly flogged... bad boy!! :)