Ask Me Help Desk - Why don't Americans have bidets?

Why don't Americans have bidets?

You would think that with all the men complaining about lack of sex, they would at least try to figure it out.

When a woman has sex, the vagina gets messy. Being a warm, damp mucus membrane, without washing, it smells. Bacteria grow happily there. A wiped off penis is not a bacteria haven.

So, if a bidet was handy, quick washes before returning to work would be easy and doable. Therefore quickies would be done.

A hand-held shower is good too but requires complete nakedness. Bidets do not require complete nakedness... neither do quickies.

Thoughts?

Perhaps you have a future selling bidets to Americans.
You just never know what will sell to a culture - Belgians eat their fries with mayonnaise. Try selling THAT to Americans.

Good question! I have wondered that myself since it is such the norm in other areas. I live in America and I've never seen one. But I have always been curious about them. I've always wondered does it go "up" you when you wash, or does it only rinse off the "outside"?

I would be happen with a toilet personally. Don't have a single one on the entire college campus

Hello S:

I'm going to run out and buy one... Going to get me a button saying I got one, too. That's BOUND to help me pick up chicks, won't it?

excon

You have the solution! Hallelujah! We're not getting the sex 'cause our women don't want to dirty up their parts! Why didn't I see this before. If there was something that could catch the semen before it got into their lady bits. Something rubbery... maybe ribbed for her pleasure... but not glow in the dark. That's creepy...

Speaking of creepy, the couple times I have used a bidet, yea they have them in north america, have left me feeling moist and icky. Almost prefer the swamp a$$ to that.

And Mayo on fries is quite tasty. Especially a nice garlic mayo. Mmmmmm...

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello S:

I'm gonna run out and buy one... Gonna get me a button saying I got one, too. That's BOUND to help me pick up chicks, won't it?

excon

You could try that button! But, I think that most of us ladies would prefer at least a try at understanding or even the teensiest tweak of empathy before your insecurities are pinned to your jacket.

This is the very reason soap and washclothes were invented.

I'd like to see the statistics concerning people of either sex who are abstaining due to body odor.

I'm not seeing that to be a big problem - but maybe it's the company I keep.

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

You have the solution! Hallelujah! We're not getting the sex 'cause our women don't want to dirty up their parts! Why didn't I see this before. If there was something that could catch the semen before it got into their lady bits. Something rubbery.... maybe ribbed for her pleasure... but not glow in the dark. That's creepy....

Speaking of creepy, the couple times I have used a bidet, yea they have them in north america, have left me feeling moist and icky. Almost prefer the swamp a$$ to that.

And Mayo on fries is quite tasty. Especially a nice garlic mayo. mmmmmm.....

Sure rubber stuff catches and contains semen. But if the woman is aroused, or a lubricant is used the area stays messy. Messy reeks! Moist and icky after you used one to wash? Weren't there any towels?

Some men are into "moist" and "icky" is apparenty in the eye (or nose) or the beholder. While you're asking direct questions, why don't uncircumsized men pull back the foreskin when they wash?

And, yes, women use lubricants, become lubricated. Then add semen. "Reeks?" "Icky?"

Are you confusing a bidet with douching?

(Note to J9 - I know it's not recommended. I'm just asking.)

Well, it's the norm for American's to shower daily. We're very clean people. Most people probably have sex when they go to bed at night or in the morning, and then take a shower - no need for a bidet. We clean ourselves up in between as needed.

I think bidets are so popular elsewhere because it is more acceptable elsewhere to not shower daily, and so people wash selective parts of their bodies on days they don't shower. No worry though - American's (well, there are exceptions) are not walking around dirty - we are among the cleanest people in the world - in fact, it's a bit of a national obsession - just walk through one of our grocery stores to see all our products for cleaning ourselves, our homes, our cars -

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

This is the very reason soap and washclothes were invented.

I'd like to see the statistics concerning people of either sex who are abstaining due to body odor.

I'm not seeing that to be a big problem - but maybe it's the company I keep.

Wash cloths and soap are fine, but more of something I'd use on a camping trip. An abundance of warm accessible water is what, a luxury for those who keep nasty company?

My dad thinks that bidets are only for French whores... But he's in his eighties.

Trust me on this - I have no knowledge of what women do to keep clean on camping trips. I never want to know what women do to keep clean on camping trips.

I thought this was more a general question than a specific question.

Personally I have no plans ever to have sex while on a camping trip or, for that matter, go on a camping trip.

I have never discussed bidets with my Dad so I don't know about that part.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

Well, it's the norm for American's to shower daily. We're very clean people. Most people probably have sex when they go to bed at night or in the morning, and then take a shower - no need for a bidet. We clean ourselves up in between as needed.

I think bidets are so popular elsewhere because it is more acceptable elsewhere to not shower daily, and so people wash selective parts of their bodies on days they don't shower. No worry though - American's (well, there are exceptions) are not walking around dirty - we are among the cleanest people in the world - in fact, it's a bit of a national obsession - just walk through one of our grocery stores to see all our products for cleaning ourselves, our homes, our cars -

You make good points. Americans are uber clean. "We clean ourselves up in between as needed," you said. And that is the point. Europeans do selectively wash and need fewer showers as a result.

How many times have American women taken a shower in the morning and then taken another before the hot date? For me, every single time. Now that I'm married, I like to use the hand held shower both before and after and wish I had a more convenient option.

It's not all about odors. Warm moist dark places are a bacteria paradise. And the female urethra is only about an inch long. Bladder infections are so easy to get and very unpleasant. Germs in the folds can cause general itching or swelling... Wash it quick!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Trust me on this - I have no knowledge of what women do to keep clean on camping trips. I never want to know what women do to keep clean on camping trips.

I thought this was more a general question than a specific question.

Personally I have no plans ever to have sex while on a camping trip or, for that matter, go on a camping trip.

I have never discussed bidets with my Dad so I don't know about that part.

Camping trips are for those who can't afford a nice resort. But us campers have plenty of fun. We devise ingenious methods for cleaning everything, from dishes on down.

Cleaning skillet: small rocks and water from the stream
Cleaning on down: jump in fastest part of the stream, the original bidet

Sorry, but I don't think the only people who camp are people who can't afford resorts. You either camp or you don't. I don't.

And if I had to choose between sex with my partner and camping I'd choose camping. Of course, I would choose anything/everything over camping and so...

Joy, I'm in stitches. 10 out of 10.

OMG. Can we just agree that if American men aren't "gettin any", it has nothing to do with a dearth of bidets? Believe me, if that would make a difference, American men would make gazillions perfecting, selling and installing bidets and if nobody would buy, they would start a charity. Seriously, American men will do what they need to do to get what they want! Whether they camp or not. Near a fast running stream, or not.

This entire thread is asinine. The original poster has a cleanliness streak that would make several OCD people impressed. Nothing wrong with that. Goodness knows my father was on that road.

It is all about how well you want to clean yourself.

I belong to a medieval recreation group. We have a almost week long event on the August long weekend. There are showers there, but most people don't bother. Smell more Medieval if you would. I can only fathom how the women keep themselves clean. I Shower in the evening. Judging from the sounds that I have heard coming from some of the tents... being unclean is not an issue for them.

This is your issue. Not the world at large.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

Cleaning skillet: small rocks and water from the stream
Cleaning on down: jump in fastest part of the stream, the original bidet

Tee Hee! Glacial water rocks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by greentree30

Good question! I have wondered that myself since it is such the norm in other areas. I live in America and I've never seen one. But I have always been curious about them. I've always wondered does it go "up" you when you wash, or does it only rinse off the "outside"?

Doesn't go up too much. There's a little shower thing that you can opt to turn on in the middle. It rinses off the outside pretty well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Some men are into "moist" and "icky" is apparenty in the eye (or nose) or the beholder. While you're asking direct questions, why don't uncircumsized men pull back the foreskin when they wash?

And, yes, women use lubricants, become lubricated. Then add semen. "Reeks?" "Icky?"

Are you confusing a bidet with douching?

(Note to J9 - I know it's not recommended. I'm just asking.)

No, a bidet is not for douching. It is for a quick wash of the private parts, and you can leave your shirt and bra on.

Not saying that anything about the female body is bad. Just that bacteria build up more quickly on a woman whether she has sex or not. A stream from the shower hitting your head and shoulders does not do a fast and efficient job on a woman's privates.

I just wanted to hear some people's thoughts, not get into a debate of right, wrong, appropriate or not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

This entire thread is asinine. The original poster has a cleanliness streak that would make several OCD people impressed. Nothing wrong with that. Goodness knows my father was on that road.

It is all about how well you want to clean yourself.

I belong to a medieval recreation group. We have a almost week long event on the august long weekend. There are showers there, but most people don't bother. Smell more Medieval if you would. I can only fathom how the women keep themselves clean. I Shower in the evening. Judging from the sounds that I have heard coming from some of the tents.... being unclean is not an issue for them.

This is your issue. Not the world at large.

Please don't slap labels on me. If it is only my issue then why aren't American women even aware of how wonderful a bidet can be. And why are they so unaffordable compared with a toilet.

Why don't women wear corsets anymore? Why don't we need to spice our meat to cover the taste of decay?

Corsets are both uncomfortable and unhealthy.
We invented refrigerators.
We invented better ways to wash. Perhaps the person who invented the bidet had OCD. Maybe all the folks who own one are full of assinine opinions and ideas.

The vagina is a self cleaning oven, which is why douching is so bad, it takes away the natural bacteria that keeps everything working well. In other words, rinsing your lady parts a few times a day, isn't necessary, nor is it a good thing to do. That's a big minus for the bidet.

I can't speak for Americans, since I'm not one, but I can speak for the people in Canada, which don't have bidets. We shower every day, so a bidet isn't necessary.

So really, I don't think this is an American issue, or even a Canadian issue. It seems that it's only an issue in certain parts of Europe, and I can speak a bit about that as well since I am German. In Germany bidets are not the norm. In fact, I've never once seen a bidet in any house or hotel that I've stayed in in Germany, and I've stayed in many. But then, my German family and friends also bathes daily.

So it seems that this is only an issue for those that don't practice basic hygiene.

Quote:

So, if a bidet was handy, quick washes before returning to work would be easy and doable.

Sounds like an interesting work place environment.

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Originally Posted by hkstroud

Sounds like an interesting work place environment.

No kidding. The idea of having sex with anyone I work with makes me nauseous. I would need far more than a bidet after such a traumatic encounter - maybe like one of those chemical scrub showers like they had in that movie, Silkwood.

This whole thread had me laughing. :-D

Alty, you made a very good point. Not all bacteria is bad bacteria. Overly cleaning isn't always a good thing. I have ocd tendencies. And since you mentioned good bacteria I am having a strong urge to go eat some plain yogurt right now. Lol I totally wanted to eat something else but now I HAVE to eat yogurt.

p.s. Can anyone tell me where the different smilies are?

I am curious about one thing about bidets: don't women straddle them, rather than sit?
I have worn pants 99.9% of my adult life, not dresses, and so wouldn't I have a tough time straddling a bidet?

Quote:

Originally Posted by greentree30

This whole thread had me laughing. :-D

Alty, you made a very good point. Not all bacteria is bad bacteria. Overly cleaning isn't always a good thing. I have ocd tendencies. And since you mentioned good bacteria I am having a strong urge to go eat some plain yogurt right now. lol I totally wanted to eat something else but now i HAVE to eat yogurt.

p.s. Can anyone tell me where the different smilies are?

Darnit, now I want yogurt. It's too cold to go to the store and get some. Not happening.

We used to have a list of smilies to choose from, but we got a new skin (look of the site) and they disappeared. I know that a happy face is : ) :) without a space, frowny is : ( :( without a space, winky is ; ) ;) without a space, but the rest, who knows? I'm not even sure we can do more than those three. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

I am curious about one thing about bidets: don't women straddle them, rather than sit?
I have worn pants 99.9% of my adult life, not dresses, and so wouldn't I have a tough time straddling a bidet?

Aren't bidets also used as toilets? It's a one stop shop, I think. So your pants would have already been down. Lol
EDIT: Oh wait I just thought about it more, your pants would just be down by your ankles, so yea pretty hard to straddle! I guess you have to get those pants all the way off and straddle that bad boy!

Quote:

Darnit, now I want yogurt. It's too cold to go to the store and get some. Not happening.

We used to have a list of smilies to choose from, but we got a new skin (look of the site) and they disappeared. I know that a happy face is : ) without a space, frowny is : ( without a space, winky is ; ) without a space, but the rest, who knows? I'm not even sure we can do more than those three.

Hmm, you are making yogurt more than it's cracked up to be! I'm usually not really in the mood for it but I make myself eat it with berries a few times a week to try to be healthy.

Aww now there's a limited amount of smilies and it takes more work! :( My favorite was the rolled eyes smiley. Thanks for letting me know!

Maybe it was the sell of a bidet that was lacking in America. You see by making cleanliness an issue people get wacked out on you. Maybe there is a "green" market for them here. After all it takes wood to make paper ;)

P.S. side note:

Scratch judy off the sex and camping list :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by greentree30

EDIT: Oh wait I just thought about it more, your pants would just be down by your ankles, so yea pretty hard to straddle! I guess you have to get those pants all the way off and straddle that bad boy!

So what do men do?

I too thought a bidet was a one-stop facility, with elimination and then water cleansing.

I thought a bidet was to clean your dirty bum! So I'm really out of the loop here.

I did a little research, and it turns out there are all sorts of kinds of bidets, but they pretty much will clean any area from front to back, and you can face them (straddling) or hover your butt over them, facing the room.