Ask Me Help Desk - Is it okay if?.

Is it okay if?.

All right so I'm black ! Plain and simple and I get angry at certain people who say that African American females are the most un-attractive. Honestly people are rude! There are all these stereotypes about us like : we are ghetto, we are bald, we always wear weave, we are loud, our skin color is un-attractive , and more! In my opinion I think that everyone is different. There are different types of African American females . Light skin, dark skin, mixed. Not all black females are ghetto , we don't all wear weave ! Even if we do , what's wrong with weave ? Our hair is different, it requires different type of treatments and attention. Wearing weave doesn't make you fake. Not in my opinion. I personally believe that skin color doesn't matter as long as you are confident in your own skin. Stop hating on black females, we are not that bad. Again this is my opinion

Who on earth is saying that? Black women are usually very pretty, even beautiful, and have gorgeous skin and never seem to age.

What is your question about beauty?

I don't see a question, I only see a statement. Do you have a question, or are you hoping for a debate? If it's a debate then this question should be in the discussion forum.

Should I move this to a discussion forum?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Should I move this to a discussion forum?

I think you should, seeing as there really isn't a question. Sounds like the OP either wants a discussion, or simply wants to write a statement about her opinion.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Should I move this to a discussion forum?

Yes , sure :)

Hold on tight. It might get bumpy for a few minutes, especially when we land. :)

Okay. We're there. You can relax now.

So who's telling you this and why did you come here to complain about it to us?

To be honest, I haven't heard anyone ever say any of this.

I do have questions about dreads.

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Originally Posted by odinn7

So who's telling you this and why did you come here to complain about it to us?

To be honest, I haven't heard anyone ever say any of this.

Well where I live this is heard frequently by peers and more,and I felt the need to express myself.I'm not complaining, I'm stating my opinion

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I do have questions about dreads.

Go ahead ask

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Originally Posted by Chocolatecats

Well where I live this is heard frequently by peers and more,and I felt the need to express myself.I'm not complaining, I'm stating my opinion

Sorry, don't get me wrong. Maybe I could have used a different word other than "complaining".

Where is it that you live and why would the people be so nasty?

One of the nurses at the hospital (2009) let me touch her braids, and they were sooooooooooooooo soft and springy. I forgot to ask her how she washes her hair. Would she undo the braids or carefully wash the braids? When would she finally undo them, and wouldn't her hair be all curly and tangly then, so she would have to cut it to make it controllable?

Quote:

I get angry at certain people who say that African American females are the most un-attractive. Honestly people are rude! There are all these stereotypes about us like : we are ghetto, we are bald, we always wear weave, we are loud, our skin color is un-attractive , and more!

Take a look at the part I bolded.

People that judge people by the color of their skin, the look of their hair, their religion or lack thereof, they're ethnicity, are rude. They're also bigots.

Thankfully they are few and far between. So don't judge everyone by what a few, or "certain" people say.

I find people that call me a Nazi (even though I was born many decades after that war) because I'm German, to be very rude. But every once in a while some uneducated fool makes that remark. Personally, I can't be bothered with ignorant people. You shouldn't either.

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Originally Posted by Alty

Take a look at the part I bolded.
I find people that call me a Nazi (even though I was born many decades after that war) because I'm German, to be very rude. .

I'm German/Irish... I'm bent on world domination but too drunk to achieve it!

Anyway... I've been called all sorts of things. You learn to look at who's calling you names and then you see that they don't really mean anything to you anyway.

I think perhaps you get treated the way you do because of YOUR attitude, Getto people get judged by the way they behave normally. Or perhaps by their poor choice in clothing. And esp by they way they communicate or talk.

If you reach out and treat others properly they will react the same to you. A person who acts "gettho will get treated that way normally

Quote:

Originally Posted by odinn7

Sorry, don't get me wrong. Maybe I could have used a different word other than "complaining".

Where is it that you live and why would the people be so nasty?

I live in the south, And I'm not sure . Different people , different way of thinking , I'm assuming

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

One of the nurses at the hospital (2009) let me touch her braids, and they were sooooooooooooooo soft and springy. I forgot to ask her how she washes her hair. Would she undo the braids or carefully wash the braids? When would she finally undo them, and wouldn't her hair be all curly and tangly then, so she would have to cut it to make it controllable?

I'm sorry I don't wear dreads, I wouldn't know .

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Originally Posted by Chocolatecats

I'm sorry I don't wear dreads, I wouldn't know .

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh! How will I find out?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Take a look at the part I bolded.

People that judge people by the color of their skin, the look of their hair, their religion or lack thereof, they're ethnicity, are rude. They're also bigots.

Thankfully they are few and far between. So don't judge everyone by what a few, or "certain" people say.

I find people that call me a Nazi (even though I was born many decades after that war) because I'm German, to be very rude. But every once in a while some uneducated fool makes that remark. Personally, I can't be bothered with ignorant people. You shouldn't either.

Thank you very much that is actually a very good idea

Quote:

Originally Posted by odinn7

I'm German/Irish....I'm bent on world domination but too drunk to achieve it!

Anyway....I've been called all sorts of things. You learn to look at who's calling you names and then you see that they don't really mean anything to you anyway.

That's true

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I think perhaps you get treated the way you do because of YOUR attitude, Getto people get judged by the way they behave normally. Or perhaps by their poor choice in clothing. And esp by they way they communicate or talk.

If you reach out and treat others properly they will react the same to you. A person who acts "gettho will get treated that way normally

Yes I shouldn't categorize everyone , for a few bad comments.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh! How will I find out?

You could always go to a hair salon, and ask

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

One of the nurses at the hospital (2009) let me touch her braids, and they were sooooooooooooooo soft and springy. I forgot to ask her how she washes her hair. Would she undo the braids or carefully wash the braids? When would she finally undo them, and wouldn't her hair be all curly and tangly then, so she would have to cut it to make it controllable?

Okay, not to hijack the thread, but I do actually know a bit about this. I used to work in daycare when I was 21. Two of the little girls in the daycare were black and always had gorgeous braids. One weekend Fabian (the youngest) spent the weekend at my house. Her mother was having issues, and Fabian was the one bearing the brunt of those issues. She also had scabies, for which I took her to the doctor. I knew the mother wouldn't apply the cream, so I asked if I could take her home with me for a weekend. She agreed.

The first night she was with me I gave her a bath. She was 4 at the time. I asked her "Do I take out the braids, or not wash your hair at all"? She said, "You can wash it, then there's oil my mom puts in it".

Well I didn't have the oil, so I couldn't do that. I washed her hair with the braids in. Of course the braids became frizzy, like they would for anyone, but they held.

When we got back to daycare on the Monday I asked the mom what she does to take care of the braids. She said that she takes them out every week, and redoes them, but while she's braiding them she puts in a special oil that helps maintain the braid, and also makes it unnecessary to wash it more than once a week.

Now, this was second hand info, and I'm not 100% sure it's accurate. But that's what I was told.

I'll have to find a picture of Fabian. She would be 24 now. Wow! Okay, now I feel old. :(

How old are you, Chocolatecats? Am wondering about how many places you've lived in and how much experience you've had with knowing various cultures and races and personality types.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How old are you, Chocolatecats? Am wondering about how many places you've lived in and how much experience you've had with knowing various cultures and races and personality types.

Sorry I don't release personal information on the Internet , but I have lived in Africa, Belguim, and America. Now I haven't experienced various cultures and such. I usually watch documentaries

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

Okay, not to hijack the thread, but I do actually know a bit about this. I used to work in daycare when I was 21. Two of the little girls in the daycare were black and always had gorgeous braids. One weekend Fabian (the youngest) spent the weekend at my house. Her mother was having issues, and Fabian was the one bearing the brunt of those issues. She also had scabies, for which I took her to the doctor. I knew the mother wouldn't apply the cream, so I asked if I could take her home with me for a weekend. She agreed.

The first night she was with me I gave her a bath. She was 4 at the time. I asked her "Do I take out the braids, or not wash your hair at all"? She said, "You can wash it, then there's oil my mom puts in it".

Well I didn't have the oil, so I couldn't do that. I washed her hair with the braids in. Of course the braids became frizzy, like they would for anyone, but they held.

When we got back to daycare on the Monday I asked the mom what she does to take care of the braids. She said that she takes them out every week, and redoes them, but while she's braiding them she puts in a special oil that helps maintain the braid, and also makes it unnecessary to wash it more than once a week.

Now, this was second hand info, and I'm not 100% sure it's accurate. But that's what I was told.

I'll have to find a picture of Fabian. She would be 24 now. Wow! Okay, now I feel old. :(

Interesting story

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Originally Posted by Chocolatecats

I usually watch documentaries

I wonder which documentaries.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocolatecats

Sorry I don't release personal information on the Internet , but I have lived in Africa, Belguim, and America. Now I haven't experienced various cultures and such. I usually watch documentaries

Your age won't lead to anyone identifying you. There are millions of other people that are the same age you are. :)

I'm 41, just in case you didn't do the math from the story I told. :)

Your age does play a large part in how you view the world. It may help us better understand why you feel the way you do. If you're not comfortable posting your age, that's fine. Would you be more comfortable giving a general idea? Just like a survey 13-15, 16-19, 20-24, 25-30, 30-34, 35-40, 41-45..

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I wonder which documentaries.

I watch Taboo. I also watch the Investigation Discovery channel, biography channel, health and fitness channel, and national geography channel

So are you upset because you see humans attacking each other because of race and culture on these documentaries, or do you experience it in your real life?

I was wondering about your age also, but I understand if you don't want to say.
I was curious because I have noticed a trend away from the stereotyping of people over 4 generations now, my grandfathers' generation to my daughters'.
It's been my experience that people are accepted now because of WHO they are rather than what color or religion etc, etc. Of course there will always be those who are ignorant and won't look past those things.
And I live in the south. (USA)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So are you upset because you see humans attacking each other because of race and culture on these documentaries, or do you experience it in your real life?

A little bit of both

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadySam

I was wondering about your age also, but I understand if you don't want to say.
I was curious because I have noticed a trend away from the stereotyping of people over 4 generations now, my grandfathers' generation to my daughters'.
It's been my experience that people are accepted now because of WHO they are rather than what color or religion etc, etc. Of course there will always be those who are ignorant and won't look past those things.
And I live in the south. (USA)

Very true, and yes people can be ignorant. I must say I wasn't in the best mood when I wrote that. You make a good point.

For 25 years I worked at a suburban Chicago library. Every day when I drove into town to wok, I would see lots of people walking, driving, riding bikes, etc. and might not see a Caucasian until I got into the library parking lot. In other words, it is a very racially and culturally diverse community. A Chinese grandfather might hold the door open for me and I would see black and Indian people checking out books at the front desk -- ages from tiny baby to in their 80s. My coworkers and library volunteers were black (Christian), Indian (Hindu), Mideastern (Muslim), and white (Christian, atheist, undecided). Their backgrounds were Greek, Afghan, German, Polish, Asian, British, Irish, Italian, Spanish/Mexican, and all sorts of blends of cultures. Their ages were 16 to 80. And we all got along just fine.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

For 25 years I worked at a suburban Chicago library. Every day when I drove into town to wok, I would see lots of people walking, driving, riding bikes, etc., and might not see a Caucasian until I got into the library parking lot. In other words, it is a very racially and culturally diverse community. A Chinese grandfather might hold the door open for me and I would see black and Indian people checking out books at the front desk -- ages from tiny baby to in their 80s. My coworkers and library volunteers were black (Christian), Indian (Hindu), Mideastern (Muslim), and white (Christian, atheist, undecided). Their backgrounds were Greek, Afghan, German, Polish, Asian, British, Irish, Italian, Spanish/Mexican, and all sorts of blends of cultures. Their ages were 16 to 80. And we all got along just fine.

That sounds wonderful , if only the entire world was that peaceful. If only everyone got along just fine all the time, everywhere.

WG, I feel you. :)

I'm Caucasian (actually, if you look closely I'm a bit orange, don't know why) German, brown hair, brown eyes. I look like a Gypsy, which is entirely possible considering that my dad was Hungarian, as was his family. I used to joke about it with my Grandma. She was not amused. ;)

I live in Canada. In my culdesac alone we have two bi-racial (I hate that term. Bi-racial? We're all the same race, but to be "politically correct") couples in our 11 home culdesac. One of those couples is not only bi-racial, but Mormon. They have 4 kids. My daughter plays with them every day. We have an Italian couple, a lesbian couple, two German couples (myself included), and then some. My little culdesac is the United nations, and all faiths mixed into one.

We just had a neighborhood block party a few weeks ago. Best party ever. Everyone attended, except for the neighbors directly beside me, which is a pity. They're Irish, and I adore them. Such a nice couple. Best of all, they love dogs. The lady constantly throws dog treats into our yard for Chewy and Rascal, as do we for their little Bailey. When they went on summer vacation to Disney land I watched their house, watered their flowers, and mowed their lawn. Great couple, but a bit shy, also very new to the neighborhood.

Maybe the OP just lives in a place where people can't see the bigger picture. Or maybe she's young and in with a bad crowd that's prejudice, or bitter.

I have to say, I looked at a few of the other questions the OP posted. One was "Why is being gay bad".

Sounds to me like this is not an issue about everyone else, but an issue the OP has.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

WG, I feel ya. :)

I'm Caucasian (actually, if you look closely I'm a bit orange, don't know why) German, brown hair, brown eyes. I look like a Gypsy, which is entirely possible considering that my dad was Hungarian, as was his family. I used to joke about it with my Grandma. She was not amused. ;)

I live in Canada. In my culdesac alone we have two bi-racial (I hate that term. Bi-racial? We're all the same race, but to be "politically correct") couples in our 11 home culdesac. One of those couples is not only bi-racial, but Mormon. They have 4 kids. My daughter plays with them every day. We have an Italian couple, a lesbian couple, two German couples (myself included), and then some. My little culdesac is the United nations, and all faiths mixed into one.

We just had a neighborhood block party a few weeks ago. Best party ever. Everyone attended, except for the neighbors directly beside me, which is a pity. They're Irish, and I adore them. Such a nice couple. Best of all, they love dogs. The lady constantly throws dog treats into our yard for Chewy and Rascal, as do we for their little Bailey. When they went on summer vacation to Disney land I watched their house, watered their flowers, and mowed their lawn. Great couple, but a bit shy, also very new to the neighborhood.

Maybe the OP just lives in a place where people can't see the bigger picture. Or maybe she's young and in with a bad crowd that's prejudice, or bitter.

I have to say, I looked at a few of the other questions the OP posted. One was "Why is being gay bad".

Sounds to me like this is not an issue about everyone else, but an issue the OP has.

Yes, you got that right :)

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Originally Posted by Chocolatecats

Yes, you got that right :)

So you agree that this is your issue, or an issue that the people you hang around with have?

Choclatecats, if the people you hang with are this "prejudice" and sadly, you can be prejudice against your own "race", then why do you hang with them?

From your posts you obviously know what's right and what's wrong. Don't ever let anyone lead you to their ideals when they don't match your own.

Be who you are, believe what you believe. What they think, say, and believe, doesn't matter. Be yourself! Own it, love it, live it. :)

Please understand it works both ways, There is a major church in downtown Atlanta, that teaches that White man is really demons and workers for Satan, That the black Jesus is going to come soon and save all true and pure blacks from the devil.

They teach not to work for or help any white person. This is a very very large church, not a small group.

Next there are other black groups that will dispise any mixed race couple. Try being white in a real inner city black area and you will see more discriination than you ever thought, but against the whites.

It exists in many people but it is taught