Ask Me Help Desk - Debate on Porn

Debate on Porn

Hi guys! I have made some research on the forum, found lots of relevant information and I think it's time for me to try to reach the core of the members' thoughts about it. :D

Ok, pornography: is it a nearly harmless entertainment because we are mature enough to decide whether to have access to it?

I know most people, especially parents towards their teens, children, see porn a real danger, a taboo if I may say so.

I found that porn relieves sexual tension and stress, and it is used as a way to stay virgin for as long as possible.

Some of the arguments I found were:
Porn is easy to get addicted to
This in turn leads to broken relationships;
Interference with work & productivity
Compulsive sexual behaviour which can lead to illness & contradicted diseases
Depression/Suicidal thoughts and behaviours
Shame and self-hatred
Guilt and loss
Legal and financial troubles

I'm inviting everyone to comment, discuss on the theme! I hope all will turn out smoothly :)

Have a great day everyone!

PS: If you just joined the discussion, try reading the previous posts before stating something. It really gets annoying if we turn in circles forever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknown008

Ok, pornography: is it a nearly harmless entertainment because we are mature enough to decide whether to have access to it?

Hello Unk:

There is no "we".

To MOST of us, porn is harmless entertainment. To SOME, it's a hazard to be avoided. MOST of us drink responsibly too, but there's a few who don't/can't. Same thing with driving - some abuse it - most of us don't.

So, it's not much to do about the substances we smoke, or drink, or what we read or watch on TV... It's WHO we are in relation to those things.

excon

Thanks for your answer Exy, I was thinking you might be the first poster, lol!

Yep, that's true. I was just typing the question for the debate :)

That is one of the reason why I wanted to make this thread, to have the point of view of people in general.

Hey unky,

For me porn has never been an issue,in any of my relationships.

But I wondered if teenagers/young men/women who over expose themselves to soft/hard core porn have unrealistic expectations from their partners,when in a relationship.

Different age groups will have varying degrees of opinion on porn,perhaps because,younger people have not yet experienced any relationship problems from watching porn,while older people who have seen marraiges crumble because of it,will be dead against it.

There are pros and cons to almost every subject,I agree with excon in that its depends on the person, and also where that person draws the line.

Thanks Red for your answer!

Yes, I think that everything has it's 'good' and 'bad'. Abusing however always become 'bad'.

I have two interesting anecdotes for you, Unk, one pro, the other con.

Many people like myself struggle with addictive personalities. I have found that over the years my tastes in adult art have become more jaded, leading me to seek out more explicit/extreme works. This can easily be compared to the tolerance phenomena found in drug addicts. By the way, my fantasy life is under control, and my wife tolerates it.

My children were exposed to porn as infants. It was on while they were going to sleep. To this day, it knocks them out faster than a political speech.

The definition of pornography is also relevant. I have said many times that I would prefer to see people making love rather than some supernatural serial killer slashing young girls to pieces. Which do you think is more hurtful to developing psyches?

My opinion on porn is about the same as my feelings towards other vice/moral issues such as alcohol, gambling, cigarettes, etc. I think that child porn should remain illegal, but other porn should not be regulated by the government, adults should be free to use it if they wish and people who don't like it should choose not to watch it themselves and not judge people who do. It is up to parents to monitor what their children are doing and not leave porn accessible to children in their homes. I don't think that porn is that harmful though, when I was a kid, nearly everyone flipped though old copies of their dad's or older brother's Playboy and Penthouse magazines and it didn't turn us into criminals.

I think if you'r single what you do is your business but if you are married and your spouse is not "into it" as much as you,then you should cut it out completely,I feel like a husband that watches porn behind his wife's back is messing with the sanctity of the marriage.

I started looking at playboys and penthouse at 8 or 9 years old(note to dads with young sons under your bed isn't the best hiding spot) Then a friend of mine showed me a porn film when I was 10 or 11. You would think that I am probably some porn addicted freak but I am not. If anything I think looking at it that young made me get bored of it like any other kid who loses interest in something at that age. By the time I was 12 I started dating anyway. I never expected my girlfriends to act that way but I did lose my virginity very young so maybe the porn had something to do with that. But I would credit the girl I first had sex with more then the porn.

I rarely watch porn now the only time I do is if my wife is gone for business and I need to release which isn't very often.I never go to strip clubs, Never cheated on my wife or pretty much any girlfriend I had. The only thing I think it did do to me is I really like to talk dirty during sex. Nothing disrespectful or anything like that but you know what I mean.

It depends on the porn and how it's used. Snuff films at one extreme, obviously not good. But I think there's lots of porn out there that is less extreme that still depicts women as basically useful objects, or a collection of cool sex toys, rather than as people. I think that's bad for both men and women, morally and functionally.

In principle, I'm not against porn, for the same reasons earl237 said, but the reality is that I think a lot of porn is objectionable, because it's violent or because it promotes a lack of respect for women.

Also, so *many* women come here saying that their boyfriends and husbands won't make love, preferring to wait until the woman is asleep and then go satisfy themselves with porn. At that point, it's less about objectifying women and more a chronic behavior that is damaging intimate relationships. To an extent, I think that's a sign of the individual guy's lack of self control and general immaturity--just short term thinking generally--and not directly the fault of the porn per se. Nobody is making them do that. But is it good for society to have so many men doing that? Hard to see how it is.

So to sum up, I'm conflicted about it because I'm not generally in favor of censorship, but I do think that porn has a negative effect on women overall. That said, I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions. I'm just talking about the overall picture.

Hi Unky!
I think as with anything else in life a good motto is "moderation in all things".

Anything to excess and that's where the trouble begins.

While some couples would say viewing porn has saved their marriage ,some would say it has ruined it.

Exploitive porn in any way ie; child pornography is always a huge no no in my book.
As is porn that is deviant in nature,people and animals ,creepy things like that.

Hi Unky.

I agree with the others and have to add, I can take it or leave it, porn that is.

Most porn is just too cheesy for me. I'm the girl in the room that's snickering because the acting (if you can call it that) is terrible and the music isn't fit for an elevator. Yup, I'm the buzz kill. ;)

As for magazines, it depends. I don't like the hardcore, in your face, look at my junk magazines. I like the tasteful ones, where something is left to the imagination.

I know, shocking isn't it? ;)

I've never had a problem with porn.
If my partner and I are having an "off week" but he still needs a bit of action then he will have a bit of a porn session on the computer.
Doesn't bother me at all, saves him annoying me when I'm not in the mood

Most of the time though it's a mutual thing, we watch together.
I agree with you on the cheese factor Alty, some of the movies are more comedy than sexy!
We actually have a couple of hentai (or cartoon porn) movies that we watch just for a laugh rather than to get in the mood, the translations from japanese are hilarious!

Quote:

Originally Posted by shazamataz

I've never had a problem with porn.
If my partner and i are having an "off week" but he still needs a bit of action then he will have a bit of a porn session on the computer.
Doesn't bother me at all, saves him annoying me when I'm not in the mood

Most of the time though it's a mutual thing, we watch together.
I agree with you on the cheese factor Alty, some of the movies are more comedy than sexy!
We actually have a couple of hentai (or cartoon porn) movies that we watch just for a laugh rather than to get in the mood, the translations from japanese are hilarious!

You want cheesy?
Zombie strippers from hell ,now that a real turn-on :D It's a movie by the way! Not my personal preference :rolleyes:

If I want to watch people, um, "make love" (I'm going to vomit) then I prefer the how too kama sutra tapes that hubby and I got.

There, I bared my soul. Go ahead, throw rocks. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

If I want to watch people, um, "make love" (I'm going to vomit) then I prefer the how too kama sutra tapes that hubby and I got.

There, I bared my soul. Go ahead, throw rocks. ;)

Are you kidding?
That's what its all about is the inner connection! I get it baby , and as often as I can :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

Are you kidding?
Thats what its all about is the inner connection! I get it baby , and as often as I can :D

Ditto. :cool:

Oops, this is Unky's thread. Unky is under 18! We have to keep this PG.

Unky, we get popcorn, that's what Arsty was talking about. With butter, and salt. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Ditto. :cool:

Oops, this is Unky's thread. Unky is under 18! We have to keep this PG.

Unky, we get popcorn, that's what Arsty was talking about. With butter, and salt. :D

I said love so that's a good thing to know... all we need is love Unky,that's the way to go :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

I said love so thats a good thing to know...all we need is love Unky,thats the way to go :D

Make love not war? :cool:

Do you have Halloween in Canada?
I'm really that stupid that I don't know :)

I had a wonderful young man, hired him to work in my warehouse, there was a computer in the office, he was not suppose to be using it, but was "allowed" to check emails during lunch.

Well we had a program to tell us every web site visited, and had a strick computer use policy that he signed.

Well he could not stop looking at porn, I gave him two written warnings and even banned him from the computer, but he still had to sneak in and look at porn. I fired him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I had a wonderful young man, hired him to work in my warehouse, there was a computer in the office, he was not suppose to be using it, but was "allowed" to check emails during lunch.

well we had a program to tell us every web site visited, and had a strick computer use policy that he signed.

well he could not stop looking at porn, I gave him two written warnings and even banned him from the computer, but he still had to sneak in and look at porn. I fired him.

Now that's addiction! :eek:

I don't understand this particular addiction, seeing as it's not a chemical addiction like cigarettes or alcohol, but a mental one. I would think this particular addiction would be easy to control, then again, I've never experienced it, so what do I know?

I just don't understand how someone can get addicted to unrealistic sex acts on a computer monitor or TV screen. I mean really, I've never seen a good porn movie, they're all just fluff, bad acting, unrealistic crap. I see how they can serve a purpose, but I don't understand the addiction.

If I want to get in the mood then putting on a regular porn video will do the exact opposite. Unless you're turned on by me rolling on the floor laughing so hard that my side aches. ;)

From my past ( we all have them) I have known a lady or two that was turned on by them but that was "thier" thing, not really mine.

Too often it gives men esp a unrealistic idea of what sex is suppose to be, gives them a very low opinion of women as a sex toy and not another person to respect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

From my past ( we all have them) I have known a lady or two that was turned on by them but that was "thier" thing, not really mine.

Too often it gives men esp a unrealistic idea of what sex is suppose to be, gives them a very low opinion of women as a sex toy and not another person to respect.

I've always found them cheesy and unrealistic, but to each their own, I guess. ;)

The women in porn are not only bad actors but over the top, unrealistic, store bought boobs, arse, legs and tan. They're not real in real life, much less on the movie screen.

It does give men an unrealistic expectation of sex.

Let me assure all you boys, no girl is going to come up behind you while you're making photocopies in the mail room and just rip off your clothes and go at it on top of the machine. It'll never happen, so stop dreaming!

My work here is done. You're welcome. ;)

Hello again:

Ok, let's talk about porn. I'm cool with the IDEA of porn, but in reality, most of it sucks.. I got a lot of complaints...

First off, I don't like fake boobs. They don't jiggle right. What's worse is when you can see 'em moving under her skin. YUK! If I was, shall we say, getting into it before that, it was over for me...

Next, I don't like shaved beaver. I don't like a jungle, either, but, let's just say that smoothy and I have different tastes.. A shaved bush looks, how shall I put it, pre-pubescent. I'm not into kids...

I don't like the slam bam, stuff. It kind of hurts me just thinking about it. And, what's with all the spitting?? That doesn't turn me on either. I don't spit. I lick... And, you know without clitoral stimulation, all that moaning is fake...

I also don't like all that a$$ wacking. That doesn't do it for me. I don't hit my wimin. A little bite here and there, maybe...

I also don't like all that choking and gagging. If the chick can't take it and make it at least LOOK palatable, then she shouldn't be gobbling more than she can handle..

Ok, is there any stuff I like?? Not much. I like lovemaking. I like kissing. I like taking a woman's clothes off slowly. They don't make hetrosexual porn like that...

They DO make lesbian porn like that. I like it.

Is that more than you wanted to know?

excon

PS> Artsy, I speak Japanese..

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello again:

Ok, let's talk about porn. I'm cool with the IDEA of porn, but in reality, most of it sucks.. I got a lot of complaints...

First off, I don't like fake boobs. They don't jiggle right. What's worse is when you can see 'em moving under her skin. YUK! If I was, shall we say, getting into it before that, it was over for me...

Next, I don't like shaved beaver. I don't like a jungle, either, but, let's just say that smoothy and I have different tastes.. A shaved bush looks, how shall I put it, pre-pubescent. I'm not into kids...

I don't like the slam bam, stuff. It kinda hurts me just thinking about it. And, what's with all the spitting???? That doesn't turn me on either. I don't spit. I lick... And, you know without clitoral stimulation, all that moaning is fake...

I also don't like all that a$$ wacking. That doesn't do it for me. I don't hit my wimin. A little bite here and there, maybe...

I also don't like all that choking and gagging. If the chick can't take it and make it at least LOOK palatable, then she shouldn't be gobbling more than she can handle..

Ok, is there any stuff I like??? Not much. I like lovemaking. I like kissing. I like taking a womans clothes off slowly. They don't make hetrosexual porn like that...

They DO make lesbian porn like that. I like it.

Is that more than you wanted to know?

excon

PS> Artsy, I speak Japanese..

Oh my goodness,I was watching a show with my BF tonight and I said"now those are nice boob's ,they move",they are real and so we are on the same page again!
What's up wit that? :cool:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I had a wonderful young man, hired him to work in my warehouse, there was a computer in the office, he was not suppose to be using it, but was "allowed" to check emails during lunch.

well we had a program to tell us every web site visited, and had a strick computer use policy that he signed.

well he could not stop looking at porn, I gave him two written warnings and even banned him from the computer, but he still had to sneak in and look at porn. I fired him.

You need to preface this better than I had a wonderful young man.It sounds different that how you meant it.If you get me.

Quote:

What's worse is when you can see 'em moving under her skin.

I have to say something before I forget. My hubby was watching that annoying show "Manswers" yesterday and I think I finally figured out why by breasts are so big. Beer! Yes, beer!

Apparently women who drink beer can go up 1 or 2 cup sizes because of it.

I better stop drinking, I can't afford a new bra.

Back to Exy.

It's the moaning and rolling of the eyes that really gets to me. I've had sex with a mirror on the ceiling, trust me, I know what I look like whilst in the throes of passion and it's nowhere near what those girls are doing, thank God, or whoever you pray to. ;)

The fact is, it's so fake that it's funny. It's also annoying because people get off on it and it's not even close to the real deal.

So, Unky, my dear sweet underage Unky. Porn is okay if you think it's going to satisfy your urges, but, if you're watching it instead of doing the things you love to do, or if you're beginning to believe that the stuff you're watching is how it really is, then turn it off, burn the tapes and talk to us, because you know we care about you and you know I'll tell you the truth. :)

Another beer? Oh, what the heck, G cup, here I come. :eek:

Quote:

PS> Artsy, I speak Japanese..

I have NO CLUE what that means ,seriously,I'm laughing but I have no clue .
Did we have a Japanese moment I forgot about ? :confused:
I feel pretty good about it actually

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

I feel pretty good about it actually

Hello again, artsy:

It was good for me too.

Ex

PS> I think the kama sutra is Japaneseish... Or, maybe it Chineseish. I don't know. Mongolianish??

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello again, artsy:

It was good for me too.

ex

PS> I think the kama sutra is Japaneseish... Or, maybe it Chineseish. I dunno. Mongolianish???

Once you unleash me I am a whole different person :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

Do you have Halloween in Canada?
I'm really that stupid that I don't know :)

I just saw this. Now I'm giggling. Reminds me of being in Germany when I was 16. A bunch of girls interrogated me about Canada. Do we have McDonalds, do we live in Igloos, do we all wear seal fur? LMAO!

Yes, we have halloween, it's tomorrow, October 31, just like you. :)

Also, we do have McDonalds, I've never seen an igloo and I'm allergic to seal fur. I didn't find this out by wearing it or hunting these animals that I have to admit, I've never seen. I got an Eskimo doll for Xmas one year, it's clothing was made of seal fur, I broke out in hives.

What were we talking about? Oh yeah, porn.

Discuss. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello again, artsy:

It was good for me too.

ex

PS> I think the kama sutra is Japaneseish... Or, maybe it Chineseish. I dunno. Mongolianish???

Exy baby, I'm the one that brought up the kama sutra. :)

FYI, it's Indian. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I just saw this. Now I'm giggling. Reminds me of being in Germany when I was 16. A bunch of girls interrogated me about Canada. Do we have McDonalds, do we live in Igloos, do we all wear seal fur? LMAO!

Yes, we have halloween, it's tomorrow, October 31, just like you. :)

Also, we do have McDonalds, I've never seen an igloo and I'm allergic to seal fur. I didn't find this out by wearing it or hunting these animals that I have to admit, I've never seen. I got an Eskimo doll for Xmas one year, it's clothing was made of seal fur, I broke out in hives.

What were we talking about? Oh yeah, porn.

Discuss. :)

Once this buzzed lady said it (I use the term lady lightly) I knew I had messed up.
Druids.. jeezs they were everywhere :eek:
I am a Druid.Mother Earth.. COOL! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

Once this buzzed lady said it (I use the term lady lightly) I knew I had messed up.
Druids..jeezs they were everywhere :eek:
I am a Druid.Mother Earth ..COOL! :D

Buzzed lady. :p

Too bad you're taken, you'd be perfect for Exy. Sadly, I've got my claws into him. Shhh, don't tell him, he doesn't know. ;)

Did I scare everyone away? :(

:: pout, pout, pout::

Sigh.

Waaaaaa!

I'm so bored I could knit!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Did I scare everyone away? :(

:: pout, pout, pout::

Sigh.

Waaaaaa!

I'm so bored I could knit!

Good girl :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

Good girl :)

:confused:

Are you talking about the knitting?

I hate knitting.

I can knit, but I hate it.

I'm also not fond of cooking, even though I'm a good cook.

I need a maid.

Any volunteers?

Exy?

Ooops... WT. :(

No worries guys! Thanks for the wonderful answers! :)

Don't worry Alty, the first time I saw porn was at the swimming pool during a competition, yes, surprisingly! I was waiting for my turn to swim, all the swimmers were grouped on a fleet of stairs (steps perhaps would be better). And one girl, she was around the 18s I think, had her mobile with a vagina on the screen! I was thinking "what the h*ck was that!?" Well, I had only a glance, then she switched off.

It was only later, much later on that I realised what that actually was. I'm not hooked to it, I don't watch it either. I have other things to do ;)

It's perhaps one of the reasons I started that thread. I have little experience, and cannot say concrete facts about it, but you, you have a lifelong experience, plus your own personal experience that I really appreciate. :)

Cats: I never expected that you use porn to make your children go to sleep :eek: [if I got what you said earlier, that is to say]

Their first exposure was accidental. Walking around carrying a baby as he/she fights going to sleep is well known to every parent. Late night TV had some softcore on, and the cheesy music lulled him right to sleep.

He never stayed awake past midnight after that. A couple of months later a videotape in another room made nap time easy.

It worked the same way on our second. They're 24 and 16 and totally bored with the whole concept now.