Ask Me Help Desk - What is with men and . Nicknames?

What is with men and . Nicknames?

I admit I've been out of the dating pool for a long time. Now that I am stepping back in I find a LOT of men (and you know who you are!) have nicknames for their, umm, private parts. Either I wasn't paying attention in the past or this is something new.

Last night somebody I honestly like said to me, "I'm happy to see you and so is Little Michael." I said, "What?" and he explained that that's his nickname for his penis.

In the event my mother is reading this - I have actually never met Little Michael, although I do realize "he" exists.

I had trouble keeping a straight face.

Maybe it's me but I've never thought of nicknames for my breasts although I AM open to suggestions if anyone has any.

So - what's with that? I guess it's supposed to be sexy and/or alluring but I found it rather, well, strange and it made me quite uneasy and a little bit jumpy.

One word: KNOBS!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curlyben

One word: KNOBS !!!!!

Ben, I think you missed the "thrust" of my question, but thank you for your input. Now go and get another cup of coffee. Or tea. Or whatever.

So - do you siddle up to MrsBen and refer to Little Ben - or what?

I meant their mentality.
You're missing the (not so) subtle Brit nuances again ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curlyben

I meant their mentality.
You're missing the (not so) subtle Brit nuances again ;)

Oh, you Brits! Got me again!

I have never been formally introduced to any of my partners junion members.

I have named my husbands in the past, but would be very daunted if he retained the name following the divorce. :D

I would have been dying laughing...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

I have never been formally introduced to any of my partners junion members.

I have named my husbands in the past, but would be very daunted if he retained the name following the divorce. :D

I would have been dying laughing...

I just took a quick survey. 90% of the people posting want to know what the nickname was.

Well at least he was comfortable enough to share his little friends nickname with you...

That might be a good thing?? Lol You laughing or not being able to keep a straight face probably lightened the night.

Men and nicknames. It's a guys thing. Although I do admit I do not have any nicknames for mine.

Too much info I know.

Joe

Actually, my ex husband's junior member was named... Jorge

Because he only spoke to me in Espanol... ;)

Ahhh, thanks for posting this Judy! This made me chuckle. Hmm, I don't know why men name their private parts. Maybe because they're friends and have a great time "playing together". Hehehe

One reason, possibly for "Little <whoever>" is that there are always references to the "little head".

There is a joke or possibly true staement out there that men thing of sex all but 5 minutes of a day.

Thinking with the "little head" is that desire for sex running awry. Thus "Little <whoever>" makes perfect sense in this context.

As I was 13 with a 34D, my sisters took it upon themselves to name my breasts "Gilligan & The Skipper"... does that count for points?

Mine are lefty and righty. ;)

I'll ask hubby if he's named his little guy, but in the 19 years we've been together I've never once heard him refer to his penis as anything other than the love stick. TMI?

Had a curvy friend named katie... we said her band should be named "katie and the double D's"

'course I was more immature then.

Really, I were.

And what do you call your junior player KP? Inquiring minds want to know. :D

Have you seen How to lose a Guy in 10 Days?

When Kate Hudson names Matthew McConaughey's unit "Princess Sophia"... I swear.. if you watch the room all the ladies are laughing and all the men look like they've had bad sushi.

Okay, I'm renting that movie this weekend! LMAO!

Are you trying to tell me that you won't tell me? Is there something I can offer to entice you to tell me? Anything at all? Hmmm? :)

Hello Judy:

Not only is it named, but it's tattooed right on there. You know us excons.

But, it's a really, really long name.

excon

I got to admit, I've named my unit and his captains. Yes. It has been done.

I also name my female friends, and if I'm comfortable enough with them, their "love pillows.".

My ex's love pillow were named paris and nicky (after the hilton sisters) and the prev ex's were mary kate and ashley (after the olsen twins).

I swear, I'm a bit more mature now... I thunk.

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello Judy:

Not only is it named, but it's tattooed right on there. You know us excons.

But, its a really, really long name.

excon

You do realize we'll need proof, right?

Quote:

My ex's love pillow

Hey, I came up with that term, you thief! :(

Judy, I've always thought the names were meant to make it less intimidating. Penis and Vulva are scary words!

My favorite name is for my brother-in-law's Mr. Squiggly. He named it that himself, but then most of his phone messages consist of duck noises and actual bathroom sounds, all for my sister's benefit.

Ask to name it yourself after giving it a trial. Or not.

Yes, I concur with Alty... proof is needed. Photographic proof. None of this "verbal" nonsense...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Mine are lefty and righty. ;)

I'll ask hubby if he's named his little guy, but in the 19 years we've been together I've never once heard him refer to his penis as anything other than the love stick. TMI?

Yeah, Alty- TMI!:p

I refer to my "girls" as my chi-chi's. Not very creative I guess. But they're DDD's so they introduce themselves. TMI?

My most recent ex, I named his naughty bits "James and the Giant Peaches". (Those things were ginormous- like freakin' navel oranges!) TMI?

Excon, I want to see this name, eh hem, just to uh see how you spell it. Yeah, yeah, uh that's the ticket...

My BF has a few:o
Mr.D
Dr.Dirty
Humpy and his alter ego Humpy the Camel (yeah)

I am so out of the dating scene and I think I would just want to slap someone if they told me their little friend was happy to see me.

This is the funniest post I have seen in a long time.You need to keep all of us at home women apprised of the new trends out there,I will date again,if only vicariously! :eek:

Exy's is "Little Con Man" ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikosmom

Yeah, Alty- TMI!:p

I refer to my "girls" as my chi-chi's. Not very creative I guess. But they're DDD's so they introduce themselves. TMI?

My most recent ex, I named his naughty bits "James and the Giant Peaches". (Those things were ginormous- like freakin' navel oranges!) TMI??

Excon, I want to see this name, eh hem, just to uh see how you spell it. Yeah, yeah, uh that's the ticket...

I have F's so you, they don't really need an introduction. My husband has named them, but I'm not telling! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I have F's so ya, they don't really need an introduction. My husband has named them, but I'm not telling! :)

I hope KP is reading this... eh hem... didn't you badger him about his little guy's name? :rolleyes:

KP, where are you?

I tried to make him tell, then Exy came on and distracted me, I forgot my mission.

KP, tell us, what's your magic wand called? :)

My ex girlfriend named my penis "princess" I did not like that at all and she told her friends in front of my that herself and princess had great fun the night before and that's y she is my ex.

okok.

my penis's name is Bartok. The lefty is called Dr. Wannamaker, and righty is called Coach Hardin. It's weird, but they were my high school professors. =D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I tried to make him tell, then Exy came on and distracted me, I forgot my mission.

KP, tell us, what's your magic wand called? :)

Man... no special names I can think of... call me old school but when a lover says "bring your **** over here"... it seems to be enough. Call me unimaginative, but it just has never been an issue or need.

Besides, he's hard of hearing. Wouldn't hear you. Tho' he can read lips and/or has success with sign language if you get your lips or hands close enough.

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

This is the funniest post I have seen in a long time.You need to keep all of us at home women apprised of the new trends out there,I will date again,if only vicariously! :eek:

Honestly, it's a jungle out there. There was a time when I dated my brains out (so to speak). I think life was more simple then. Now it's - well, it's a jungle out there. Between the stranger who met me at a party and wanted to come over and have sex with my shoes and the nicknames for penis guys I'm thinking of becoming a Nun.

I swear, they are all crazy out there. I took my own car, met "I named my penis" for dinner, he leaned over me at said "What's this for?" and before I could scream, "Don't touch the dashboard" POPPED THE TOP on my car - so up popped the hard top and then I had to get out and it took both of us to snap and lock it back into place. Who does that? Don't these people ever leave their homes, go out in public?

I miss my husband.

I have been seeing an ER Doctor who is very nice but he works just about 24/7 and is on call so that gets thin after a while. I'm tired of finishing dinner by myself.

But, yes, I'll keep you informed. Good that someone is getting some enjoyment out of my wretched life.

Anyone have any cousins who aren't too very strange?

Wow, that guy was a REAL winner... our advice, lose that number, before you end up on our relationship boards ;)

So to make matters worse, this was like a first date? And he had the balls to tell you his winkie was enjoying your presence... I would have laughed, spilled my drink in his lap and bolted and NEVER looked back.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Wow, that guy was a REAL winner... our advice, lose that number, before you end up on our relationship boards ;)

So to make matters worse, this was like a first date? and he had the balls to tell you his winkie was enjoying your presence... I would have laughed, spilled my drink in his lap and bolted and NEVER looked back.

I AM getting good at running out of restaurants in 3" heels. And, no, this was actually the second date. The first date his winkie (apparently) wasn't happy to see me. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I AM getting good at running out of restaurants in 3" heels. And, no, this was actually the second date. The first date his winkie (apparently) wasn't happy to see me. :)

It was apparently a secret winkie crush on the first date. :p

Apparently it's only appropriate to bring your winkie up in conversation on the second date or after. :D

Judy, I officially love you even more for wearing 3" heels :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Between the stranger who met me at a party and wanted to come over and have sex with my shoes and the nicknames for penis guys I'm thinking of becoming a Nun.

some guys might dig that.

sorry, reminds me of a halloween party... good friend and his girlfriend dressed as a bishop and a nun. Went to a local blues bar. When she hit the dance floor, the bass player was just captivated... you could tell by his expression that all those years in private school had come to the surface when he saw that young, curvy "nun" shaking it to his bass rhythm. I serious thought he was going to come down off stage.

anyway...

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

some guys dig that.

Sorry, reminds me of a halloween party... Good friend and his gf dressed as a bishop and a nun. Went to a local blues bar. When she hit the dance floor, the bass player was just captivated... You could tell by his expression that all those years in private school had come to the surface when he saw that young, curvy "nun" shaking it to his bass rhythm. I serious thought he was going to come down off stage.

Anywho...

Roflmfao!!

I can't believe that most men don't just name their penis "C*CK"

Just because of how much they LOVE to hear women say it.