 |
You know... I just realized how unattractive I am... I think I am okay with that. There is nothing I can do about it. There are beautiful women all around me. I can at least be thankful that because I am so ugly, I will never get AIDS or HIV, herpes, or have an unwanted pregancy.
How do you feel about yourself... :rolleyes:
Well first no one is that ugly, go to walmart and sit for a while and you will soon see there are a lot of people a lot worst than you. Most likely you just believe you are not good looking, or at worst, merely need some new hair style, make up and/or clothes to make a person look totally different.
And of course as a adult ( assuming you are) people soon find that looks are a lot less important than as a teen, because people latter judge you by who are you inside
What makes you think you are ugly? If you are kind, caring, and loving then you have an inner beauty that will shine through, if you let it. I think that maybe you're being a little hard on yourself, everyone has things about themselves that they wish they could change, even the gorgeous people.
People will see you as you see yourself, so hold your head high, like you mean it, and show them what you are all about. And stop thinking that you're ugly, otherwise that's how others will see you, true or not.
No one is ugly.
It's society that has this picture perfect image of what beauty is.
I agree 100 percent with this post. 100 stars if I could rate.Quote:
Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
Everybody has beauty about them both on the inside and outside. Whether you see this in yourself or not.
Walk down the street next to me and you will think you look great compared to me!
Wow, that is a huge question. How do I feel? Hmmm. I think we need to look at what criteria makes a person attractive, or unattractive.
Criticism/compliment
Touched up magazine photos/a trip to the market
Television/a trip to the mall
Dirty looks, snide comments/wolf whistles
Those are our cues from the outside world. They do not reflect who we are inside, but unless you're incredibly secure in yourself, you are affected. Beautiful women are not affected less, and frequently have less time to reflect on a reaction before some other guy says something, or ogles, or whispers to his friend while staring at you.
No matter how many words or pictures or memories we attach to the subject, no matter how we wish to intellectualize it, humans are mammals/animals. Reproduction is paramount to the continuation of our DNA. If someone is "attractive," that someone is a potential mate. Wanting to be beautiful is a continuation of the reproductive urge.
Today's men are usually attracted to today's standard of an "acceptable" mate. Evenly placed fine features combined with a body that looks girlish (usually with big boobs.) An extremely rare combination. That "what is acceptable" notion changes over time, remember Reuben's paintings? Back when Ivan The Terrible of Russia was to be married, a long line of women was placed before him. Their teeth were blacked out and they all wore bulky clothing. His main goal was to find one he liked that was fat, by today's standards.
You are a woman, right? Forget the fashion magazines. Forget the skewed images the television shows you. Forget the unthinking, judgemental and unkind comments given by both women and men. Remember that no matter what negative imput you get, all human beings are valuable. Cute men are good for both reproduction and the moving of heavy furniture. And the ugly ones can get you pregnant too. (Relax guys, I adore men.)
All people want and need love and acceptance. We need to have our worth validated as much or more than our attractiveness as reproductive beings. Love them for the person they are, and they will love you (although some are too full of fear to admit it, even to themselves.) Love yourself, and put the fear of not fitting in aside. Treat your body with respect and keep it in good working order. Having kids is fine, but loving both yourself and others as a primary goal, will serve you better.
Sorry, I went on and on. To answer your question, I feel average, sometimes better, sometimes worse. I have to step back and put my fear of non-acceptance aside frequently. Helping someone else always seems to put things back in perspective.
For those who wish to disagree with me, go ahead, in a post. Remember that what is said is frequently an opinion only. Disagreeing with an opinion is not done in the "comments on this post" section.
You should be avoiding disease anyway. Pregnancy should happen only with the one that loves you enough to be responsible for the family. To the crux of the issue though, it is important that you maintain a healthy self-esteem. Very few people are so conceited worldwide, to find it important enough to marry a supermodel or pageant contestant. Be yourself, maintain overall good health, and you'll be just fine.Quote:
Originally Posted by BeAMole
Satisfied with pizza and chocolate, in moderation. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by BeAMole
First of all, contracting HIV, STD and unwanted pregnancies can and does happen to so called "unattractive" women. I have seen a lot of so-called "unattractive" women who are in relationships or happily married.
I would say your problem is not your looks but yourself esteem.
To answer your question, I consider myself OK looking, but above that, I think I'm a pretty cool person.
This is not nicely asked! Someone who thinks they are 'ugly' doesn't stop them from picking up a sexual disease. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but the beauty is inside, not out.
Just go look at Paris Hilton and think how lucky you are you look nothing like her!
Confidence. That's all you need. Confidence will get you farther than anything else. Without it, you dare not make a move but, the more moves you make, the more play you get Brudda.
BeAMole,
Don't you hate it when you say that you feel inadequate about something personal and are told that it isn't true or that it just couldn't be? Your opinions and feelings are real. But opinions change and feelings pass. They don't teach that in school, but they should.
I don't think that anyone wishes to invalidate you on this site.
Hi.. I'm sure you are not ugly, I suspect if you ask most of us we would all criticize something about the hand we have been delt , if we're being completely honest.Quote:
Originally Posted by BeAMole
You obviously put a lot of importance on the visual you, implying that you'll never be in a relationship because of it, your 100% wrong.
It depends how you define beauty, it could be any number of things e.g figure, face,beautiful eyes, intelligent mind, simply just the way you smile or even the sound of your voice. IT could just be how you are with other people, the list is endless.
How many times have we all looked around us and spotted a couple and thought silently... why is he with her or what's she doing with him, I know I have .
Several years ago I had a boss who everyone thought was drop dead gorgeous always talking about wife and family, we all used to say bet she's a leggy blonde, all the bumps in the right places and so on, well one morning they arrived together, we were all absolutely speechless, she was very short, no bumps and had a head scarf over her head, we all thought it was the new cleaner anyway he introduced her to us, her name was... GABRIEL... instantly you would think angelic but she was the total opposite visually, I could see why they were together though she had a fascinating mind and could speak several languages which was to my boss her beauty.
There would be no point in having a show piece who couldn't communicate on any level with their partner, it was the intellectual factor which obviously attracted him as he was a barrister, this was obviously why their marriage worked for them, the point I'm trying to make is, in this example her looks were not an issue, she was such a lovely person to be with and talk to, this was what made her shine out from the rest.
There is someone out there for you I'm sure you haven't met them yet but you will...
As for how do I feel about me, well I'm not really bothered I'm just an ordinary bog standard person, yes I suppose there are things that maybe I'd have been happier with... but I can walk, talk,see and hear the birds singing at this time of year and yes I do have several health problems... but who doesn't.
I am so thankful that I do have all the senses of the human anatomy for which I am eternally grateful, if I look a bit rough on the outside... well so be it
Takecare
Beauty is nothing but opinion.
We all have arms, legs, a face.. . What could be so different about yourself?
What makes you say such a thing about yourself?
Have some self-confindence, do something nice for yourself.
In response to your question,
Lately I have been finding myself to have more self-confindence then ever before.
I don't really know the reason why.. .
But it might be because there's this one guy that I have been seeing lately.
I think it helps ones confidence for the better when being paid attention to.
You are being too hard on yourself.
I do not think that I am very attractive, but so what?
I know that the way I behave, the way I treat others, and what the people I love remember about me when I'm gone, that are the important things.
I doubt that anyone will say, "gee, he really was a great man, but, he sure wasn't very attractive"!
Even if I'm wrong about that, I still don't care now, and surely won't care then.
There have been some wonderful answers here-like;-
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Being beautiful or ugly isn't a criteria for Sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted preganancies.
Beauty is sometimes defined by other people on the media and we rely on it too much.
Self esteem goes a long way in making one feel good.
Attractiveness is a relative term as far as I believe.
I might see a person and think him/her attractive but the moment they open their mouth , the words that come out might make all the attractiveness disappear.
Or someone who actually does not catch my attention visually can get my attention by what they say, or what they believe in ,
Or who they are working up to be like, or how they treat their friends/family.
Attractiveness in the physical sense does not last, some physically perfect (as seen on the media) age and they lose their physical attractiveness,
While others who at a young age might not be much to look at,they may age gracefully.
Personally for me, to be perfectly honest,the physical attractiveness being an issue did not happen with me.I had so much to do in school,home,work,reading,having just plain fun etc that there wasn't enough time to think about the physcial aspect of myself.
There were times I would feel down and sad but I don't remember any of those times being about my physcial attractiveness or the lack of it.
I see all these beautiful women around me who flaunt all they have.
I know I could make heads turn if I were to turn up in the latest trends with a bit of make-up and high heels,cover my flaws and accentuate the assets.
Many women could change how they look in this day and age with all the right clothes and make-up and accessories.
I don't do it,because I don't like that women/men are catagorised according to only their physical appearance,which is rather shallow and I do not want my children to judge people by their looks alone.
I don't think she little meant she won't catch a STD I think she was trying to imply that no one would talk to her in that way for her to even be put at risk. (maybe)Quote:
Originally Posted by svatnsdal
But I do agree with svatnsdal beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Who determines what is ugly and beautiful anyway. But one thing for sure is people see what you see. If you keep saying that and telling people that they will believe it. Beauty comes in all shapes and forms and there is no exception when God made you. Keep your head up because you are beautiful. Keep telling yourself that because you have to believe it first or nobody else will. Smile your beautiful :)
simoneaugie, and firmbeliever, both well said!
As to how I feel about myself, depends on my mood, but better the older I get. Interestingly, I probably am worse looking the older I get. The difference is that I don't care anymore. It's not a matter of "letting myself go." It's other stuff.
For instance, if you look around at real people (not on TV and in magazines), most people are just rather ordinary looking. Which makes me feel better that I'm not some gorgeous beauty who stands out in a crowd. Because most people don't. (And do I want the attention anyway?) Also just knowing that we are likely to find our own tiny little flaws that no one else notices. We stand in front of a mirror and pick ourselves apart. And most other people just see "us" and not what we look like. (i.e. they recognize the overall picture of what we look like, rather than looking at details or worrying about it.)
Another reason I'm less concerned about my looks is because I'm more concerned about my bad knees than that my chin pokes out a bit too much or my eyelids are too thick. (Things other people probably don't even notice.) I just have better things to worry about.
And lastly, exactly what firmbeliever said -- a lot of women could "appear" gorgeous with the right makeup artist and hair styler. All those women in movies and on TV have someone else do that stuff for them. And take a look at the facial features underneath all that gunk, and some of the supposed beautiful women are actually not so great looking underneath. I'm sure with the right professional messing with my makeup and hair, I could look like that too.
I no longer mess with makeup. I was terrible at it and I hate the stuff and it's a waste of time. In a way, I'm a bit of a tomboy. But I can look plenty feminine when I want to, without makeup. (Notice I said "feminine" and not "beautiful.") I think the fact that women think you must wear makeup is an insult to women. Men think they're fine without it (or don't care), but women don't seem to think they look good enough all by themselves without the crap all over them. And when it comes down to it, most men don't really care. Women fix themselves up for other women. I don't, cause I don't care what they think.
Oddly, this is all coming from a childhood of looking down upon myself, thinking I was ugly, worthless, stupid, etc. Back when I fixed up the hair, did the makeup, was at a much better weight and therefore built better, I thought less of myself than I do now. Somehow, somewhere along the way, I discovered something different: self esteem, and it's worth much more to me.
BeAMole, I do have to wonder: why did you find it necessary to post this?
What exactly do you feel unattractive about?Quote:
Originally Posted by BeAMole
After the initial physical component of attractiveness, other things matter more.
- a sense of humor, confidence, smiling, intelligence, kindness, honesty, the ability to have fun... these things that make up your charater matter so much more than just your physical appearance.
I'm getting more gray hair, but at this point at least it's there. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by BeAMole
Oh for craps sake...
Ya know I feel unattractive probably 250 days out of the year if and when I dwell on it. We could all use perkier boobs/pecks, flatter not fatter stomaches, less freckles, straighter thicker hair but it's all crap in my opinion... because when I really start to think about it, no matter how unattractive/sexy I feel...
I am blessed! There are actually people in this world that like me, like my personality and my company AND that my friend is not something I had when I WAS a hot young thing!
I would rather be unattractive physically than have an unattractive personality hands down...
And whatever it is is that is making you feel this way... I hope you can soon realize there are other things that make a person attractive...
UNLESS of course you were talking about your personality... LOL
And if that is the case you will need to make it over ;-)
Audrey Hepburn says : “For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.”
But you know this buddy named DJ Sassy Pandez (she is a DJ. Google to see what she looks like)? She is so stunning… Has an angelic smile, voice, figure and face. But I don’t think she has anything like in Audrey Hepburn’s saying…
:confused:
I admit that I'm not attractive. For me, I’m ugly because I’m not physically attractive. However, I don’t really bother if people say I’m unappealing. Although I might be a bit upset for the following few hours, I believe that I can take it with heart wide open; sooner. Nobody wishes to be born hideous. As a human, we have to accept what god’s given to us… No biggie… :cool:
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:31 AM. |