Ask Me Help Desk - If you could change one thing about yourself

If you could change one thing about yourself

What would it be?

Now, don't go beating yourself up physically, I think we do that way too much in our society.

I am asking more about you as a person,. what is the one thing you would like to change about yourself?

Me? I wish I could stop being so darn oversensitive... :o (get feelings hurt on the fast side, especially if I care about the person)

And you? What would you like to change?

Interesting question!

I, like you, am overly sensitive and get my feelings hurt easily. I sometimes spend way too much time wondering and stressing about why the people I care about ( or even aquaintances) can treat me so badly sometimes, when I always try to treat them with concern and respect.
I sometimes end up angry and resentful towards those people, because I don't understand their lack of empathy. I also often get angry when they call me with their problems, and when I need and ear, they are too busy. I'm always the "go to" person. So, I guess that is something I would want to change so it doesn't bring me down when it feels like they are too busy in their daily life to care what is going on in mine. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

I sometimes spend way too much time wondering and stressing about why the people I care about ( or even aquaintances) can treat me so badly sometimes, when I always try to treat them with concern and respect.
I sometimes end up angry and resentful towards those people, because I don't understand their lack of empathy. I also often get angry when they call me with their problems, and when I need and ear, they are too busy. I'm always the "go to" person. So, I guess that is something I would want to change so it doesn't bring me down when it feels like they are too busy in their daily life to care what is going on in mine. :)

Hi Starbuck,

Oh a lot of what you said sounds so familiar and it feels so good to not be alone. And Star, I mean this with all sincerity... you ever need an ear... I have two... and there always ready to listen.

I bet you and I are not alone in feeling some of these things. :).

Knock on my door anytime :) and thanks so much for sharing.

Thanks so much! I just may take you up on that the next time I'm pulling my hair out wondering "what just happened there?" Ditto to you!. I just so happen to have 2 ears too, so anytime you need to bend one, feel free! :)

Physically lol my boobs hell they need lifting, personality wise god this will sound big headed nothing I wouldn't change a thing I am who I am and I'm proud of that.

We all have weekness's but we should all be able to turn them into our strengths.

I always seem to put myself on the backburner.

Quote:

Originally Posted by curlybenswife

i wouldnt change a thing i am who i am and im proud of that.

We all have weekness's but we should all be able to turn them into our strengths.

We all should say this 10x a day, have it tatotted to our foreheads and dance like no one is watching... or even heck... like the world is watching and we are proud to show our moves:p

Well done CBW -

Quote:

Originally Posted by Allheart

We all should say this 10x a day, have it tatotted to our foreheads and dance like no one is watching...or even heck...like the world is watching and we are proud to show our moves:p

Well done CBW -

Hehehehee come on over hunn and shake that fine booty ;)

I would love so much to be able to say how I really feel. It seems as though I do not explain myself and my feelings as well as others. :)
BUT, if it all comes down to shaking my stuff, I have no problems! LOL Just ask my embarrassed kids!

I would like to have more compassion and patience with others.

I hold myself to high standards of personal responsibility, and of being self-sufficient, and I hold everyone ELSE to those standards too. Sometimes, though, people can't stand on their own feet, and I need to remember that I don't know what someone else's story is, and being kind to them is more loving than being angry with them for it.

I wouldn't care or worry about what other people think or feel about me, EVER!

Quote:

Originally Posted by shatteredsoul

I wouldn't care or worry about what other people think or feel about me, EVER!

:) :) :) :) :) Good girl! I don't care about what people think about me, just wish I could tell them, lol:D

I'd like to knock off my rosy glasses and my perpetual-Barbie-girl-optimism once in a while...

I tend to be a pushover at times, I let the softer side of my personality take over and I smudge the issue...

I'd love to be able to discern what's true, honest, and real, rather than assume that everything is always good, or that "they" always mean well and have "my best interest" at heart...

Does that make sense?

Quote:

Originally Posted by startover22

I would love so much to be able to say how I really feel. It seems as though I do not explain myself and my feelings as well as others. :)
BUT, if it all comes down to shakin my stuff, I have no problems! LOL Just ask my embarassed kids!

Rock on!. shake your stuff all over, and embarrass those kids! Lord knows they so it to us all the time! :D

START, I have gone from being the most loud mouth assertive person, to containing my emotions and not sharing every opinion out loud. The problem is, now there are people that deserve to hear what I think but it just creates more problems in the end. So maybe not caring what people think, say or feel about me will eliminate that problem! Yes Historianchick, you make lots of sense.. I think.. lol.. no seriously, you would read between the lines and be able judge people's intentions, and interests... yes I can totally relate to that. The rosy colored glasses keep things in a positive perspective, but not always the correct one..

Oh, don't I know about the whole "positive vs. correct perspective"!! It's a constant battle of mine.

I've been blessed with that perpetual Barbie-girl-optimism even though I've come through some pretty rough junk... I'm thankful for it, but I'd love to have a little stronger backbone at times! :)

Hey HChick, this place has really helped me get on track with that. Some of the people on here have taught me a great deal about rising up and not letting people use you, emotionally, physically, actually in any way. In some respects I have caused a lot of scuff here at home and with people I know because of my new found back bone. So be real careful, lol! In other instances it has helped with getting the respect I really deserved!

Quote:

Originally Posted by HistorianChick

I'd like to knock off my rosy glasses and my perpetual-Barbie-girl-optimism once in a while....

I tend to be a pushover at times, I let the softer side of my personality take over and I smudge the issue....

I'd love to be able to discern what's true, honest, and real, rather than assume that everything is always good, or that "they" always mean well and have "my best interest" at heart...

Does that make sense??

That makes total sense to me! I tend to always want to see the best in people, and want to think their motives and intentions are coming from a good places... when in fact, I don't stop to think about what their own personal agenda might be. If I did that more often, maybe I wouldn't get so upset when I find out that some people are less than sincere, and in fact, down right cruel sometimes.

Oh, I'm never "walked on" per say, I just don't always say what I want to say.

I have enough of my Mother in me to not be walked on! LOL! :)

I didn't mean I let people walk all over me either, because my personality is part angel part b#*ch if I get pushed. I just tend to walk into situations with my eyes half closed sometimes, and I end up doing this contortionist move later when I'm trying to kick myself in the A$$. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

I didn't mean I let people walk all over me either, because my personality is part angel part b#*ch if I get pushed. I just tend to walk into situations with my eyes half closed sometimes, and I end up doing this contortionist move later when I'm trying to kick myself in the A$$. ;)

Girl, I think we were separated at birth. You described me to a "T"!! :D

Ok, physically? Rah... my chest. I'd love to go down a cup or two.

Then I would be perfect. Idyllic. Angelic all the time...

Er... I wish I were more outgoing. I stink when it comes to talking in groups. This computer is some of the best social stimulation I've had in ages.
Wow I just realised how sadly stupid that sounds.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gernald

Er... I wish I were more outgoing. I stink when it comes to talking in groups. This computer is some of the best social stimulation I've had in ages.
Wow I just realised how sadly stupid that sounds.

Not sad at all, as long as we remember our face to face values. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by HistorianChick

Girl, I think we were separated at birth. You described me to a "T"!!!! :D

Ok, physically?? Rah.... my chest. I'd love to go down a cup or two.

Then I would be perfect. Idyllic. Angelic all the time....

You can send your leftovers my way! I think when we were separated you were a little greedy! Hahaha! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gernald

Er... I wish I were more outgoing. I stink when it comes to talking in groups. This computer is some of the best social stimulation I've had in ages.
Wow I just realised how sadly stupid that sounds.

Talking on the computer has it's perks! For instance, I would have just made a total fool of myself in front of a crowd because I had a glass of tomato juice and turned around and knocked it over on my dog who is completely white!. and it's not even skunk season!
See what a wonderful thing the computer can be? :eek:

****Update for all of you beautiful people******

We are not going to ping our bodies... :) As we are all Naturally beautiful... Okie dokie :)

All of you wrote some beautiful and heartfelt post. It does so good to share and I truly thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

You can send your leftovers my way!! I think when we were separated you were a little greedy! hahaha! :D

LOL! Nice one. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by HistorianChick

I'd like to knock off my rosy glasses and my perpetual-Barbie-girl-optimism once in a while....

I tend to be a pushover at times, I let the softer side of my personality take over and I smudge the issue....

I'd love to be able to discern what's true, honest, and real, rather than assume that everything is always good, or that "they" always mean well and have "my best interest" at heart...

Does that make sense??

Historian.. make sense... it more then makes sense. My husband gets so :mad: at me, for just those reasons.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Allheart

****Update for all of you beautiful people******

We are not going to ping our bodies...:) As we are all Naturally beautiful...Okie dokie :)

All of you wrote some beautiful and heartfelt post. It does so good to share and I truly thank you.

Allheart, I agree!
And I love this thread, you always seem to bring out the best in everyone! Even though this thread has shed some light on things we would like to change, it is still great and has found it's way into my heart already!
(by the way, Sunday I am going to work on a cross stitch, and your sig will be the main part, I know it has taken me a year to start it and I said I was going to paint it, but I changed my mind!) Hugs...

Quote:

Originally Posted by startover22

Allheart, I agree!
And I love this thread, you always seem to bring out the best in everyone! Even though this thread has shed some light on things we would like to change, it is still great and has found it's way into my heart already!
(by the way, Sunday I am gonna work on a cross stitch, and your sig will be the main part, I know it has taken me a year to start it and I said I was gonna paint it, but I changed my mind!) Hugs.....

Start,

There may be days I go quiet and there may be days I'm off making a mess of things on other threads, but there NEVER is a day that I am not so grateful to have "met" you and know you and even more, never a day that Start is not planted firmly in a part of my heart. I hope you know how truly much I mean that. You are just precious and just always brighten my spirts.

I saw that saying... either in Mother Theresa's book or on the internet and just fell in love with it.

Thanks again for the Sunshine. There may be days Start that have some bumps in them, but never let it change that beautiful person inside you.

**hugs back***

If I could change one thing about myself it would have to be:

To learn how to stand up for myself and what is right. I am constantly pushed around by

The people that I 'think' love me and in the end I feel like I have accomplished nothing,

Just letting the opposing person win the battle. And every time I think to myself 'why can't

I be stronger than that?'. I am too nice and I need not to be anymore.

Awww, gosh Allheart, right back atcha! Teary eyes and all! You are one of the "ones" that helped me see that light way back when and I have been working on that ever since!
And I know you haven't forgotten, our husbands are very much a like. LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE

If I could change one thing about myself it would have to be:

To learn how to stand up for myself and what is right. I am constantly pushed around by

the people that I 'think' love me and in the end I feel like I have accomplished nothing,

just letting the opposing person win the battle. And everytime I think to myself 'why can't

I be stronger than that?'. I am too nice and I need not to be anymore.

Don't stop being who you are, and don't stop being nice. That would be a shame! I know it's hard to stand up for yourself sometimes, and know all too well how it feels to be hurt by someone you love and you think loves you back the same way. You are probably stronger than you give yourself credit for! Don't switch teams and join forces with the ones that have hurt you. That will only make you feel worse and you'll be jaded and bitter. Don't let them win! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

I would like to have more compassion and patience with others.

I hold myself to high standards of personal responsibility, and of being self-sufficient, and I hold everyone ELSE to those standards too. Sometimes, though, people can't stand on their own feet, and I need to remember that I don't know what someone else's story is, and being kind to them is more loving than being angry with them for it.

To my sweet wonderfully intelligent and beautiful Synn –

I don’t think you get angry….I think it’s more frustration. You want better for people who just don’t “get it” and get frustrated trying to explain it in a way that they will understand.

You just want better for people and get frustrated when it’s only they who hold themselves back.

You have a heart of gold Synn. Remember that.

For the longest time, I could only stand on my knees :( but the years have helped me to find one foot and I'm working on the other :p

You're a good strong women Synn - who loves and cares equally strong -

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck8

Don't stop being who you are, and don't stop being nice. That would be a shame! I know it's hard to stand up for yourself sometimes, and know all too well how it feels to be hurt by someone you love and you think loves you back the same way. You are probably stronger than you give yourself credit for! Don't switch teams and join forces with the ones that have hurt you. That will only make you feel worse and you'll be jaded and bitter. Don't let them win! :)

OH Star this is OUTSTANDING advice. The world needs more of the "nice" people... no reason to change to the other team just like Star said.

I honestly believe that all people at one time were nice, and kind. And then life sent some curve balls. Some caught the ball and tried to deal and learn from it, others the curve ball hurt them so much, they didn't know what to do with the hurt, so they unknowingly throw the ball back to try and hurt in hopes their pain is not seen.

Does that make sense?

You know what being nice is a very rare qaulity these days if you ask me most are far to quick to say no, if you have the qulity then don't ever wish it away it makes you truly special and dear to so many people even if they don't admit it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by curlybenswife

You know what being nice is a very rare qaulity these days if you ask me most are far to quick to say no, if you have the qulity then dont ever wish it away it makes you truely special and dear to so many people even if they dont admit it.

More wise words from the new Mommy :)

That's a good point, CBW. Far too often we bypass the people that are genuinely kind and nice and focus attention on the ones that cut us off in traffic or don't hold a door. Good point.

We all should appreciate each other a little more...

For what its worth, I appreciate all of you!! I love this little e-community. And, I've loved all of the e-coffee chats I've been blessed to be a part of! :)

(Allheart, by the way - thanks for the greenie on that definition of love post. I just write what is in my soul. :))

Hardly wise just the trueth this world really is full of misserable gits and it's a shame really because if they just stopped and opened there eyes just that little bit more then things would certainly seem less dark to them.
Life is what we make it we all have those down days and those days are always for some reason what we remember the most they always were to me anyway but not any more my life became complete 3 weeks ago and I couldn't ask for any more I know I'm lucky and ill never forget that even though I complain a lot I don't really mean in.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Allheart

OH Star this is OUTSTANDING advice. The world needs more of the "nice" people....no reason to change to the other team just like Star said.

I honestly beleive that all people at one time were nice, and kind. And then life sent some curve balls. Some caught the ball and tried to deal and learn from it, others the curve ball hurt them so much, they didn't know what to do with the hurt, so they unknowingly throw the ball back to try and hurt in hopes their pain is not seen.

Does that make sense?

Hi Heart.
That absolutely makes sense! I think all of us have been guilty of wanting to throw "that ball" back so the other person can feel the hurt like you felt it. I think that's a normal defence reaction, and I know I've been guilty of throwing that ball as hard as I can throw sometimes... but it never makes me feel better! I've tried really hard not to become cynical and hard, and it's so nice to meet other people (even if it is on the computer) that truly care what you have to say!
Even when it's storming, if you wait long enough the sun will peek through the clouds! :)
Remind me of that next week when I come online and I'm all grumpy, lol :)