Out of curiousity,

No discrimination against anybody's view please*
I would like to know everyone's opinion on spanking your child?

Im not talking about beating your kid in the parking lot or anything like that. I just mean a spankin, on the butt, nothing further.

I've moved this to a discussion thread, which is more appropriate for this kind of question. There are other threads on this topic, but most are older, and there are lots of new members, so maybe some of them will add to this thread.

I was spanked as a child (although since I was very well behaved, it wasn't often :)), and I tried spanking my first child, but it didn't solve anything and just made him more defiant and didn't change his behavior. (He later turned out to be autistic.) Therefore, I vote no. Spanking teaches a child only that someone bigger than him can hit harder. It encourages anger and defiance. Positive discipline methods work better and, at the same time, teach a parent how to be creative.

I think it depends on the child - some children need a swat, some need a spanking, some need a talking to.

Also depends on the age.

I don't think there's a "one fix for all" answer to this.

Hello:

Hitting people NEVER works.

excon

Internet swat to excon. "wack"

A swat, not a beating done at the right time and in the right way can be the best punishment ever, it is understood and often gets the result much faster and easier.

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Originally Posted by excon

Hello:

Hitting people NEVER works.

excon

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You apparently never met my sister.

Judy, it worked on your sister?

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

it is understood and often gets the result much faster and easier.

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Hello Padre:

Oh, it's UNDERSTOOD, all right. I just don't believe the result you get, is the result you want.

excon

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

A swat, not a beating done at the right time and in the right way can be the best punishment ever, it is understood and often gets the result much faster and easier.

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What result? Fear? Anger? Defiance?

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Originally Posted by joypulv

Judy, it worked on your sister?

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No, quite the opposite - she should have been spanked but wasn't.

Respect and obeying, matching up action with unwanted result.

I never spanked my daughter whilst she was a child just shouted or took her privellages away.. However now she is a stroppy teenager wish I had of!!

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Respect and obeying, matching up action with unwanted result.

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But how did the child feel inside?

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Respect and obeying, matching up action with unwanted result.

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Hello again, Padre:

Nahhh. That's what you THINK the result is. Nobody is saying that you won't get compliance.. But, in my view, the REAL result - the most damaging - is that a child learns the way to solve problems, is to HIT.

excon

I have to agree with Exy on this one The only thing hitting a child teaches, is that hitting is okay.

Having said that, I'm human, and I have spanked my children. I can count on one hand the number of times I've spanked both of them, but still, I have done it.

I was spanked as a child. That sort of punishment was the way to raise a child back then, the whole "spare the rod spoil the child" mentality of the 70's.

I use time outs, and take away privileges when my kids misbehave. I haven't spanked either one of them in at least 2 years, and I never want to again. But then, I'm human, so I can't promise.

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Originally Posted by Alty

I have to agree with Exy on this one The only thing hitting a child teaches, is that hitting is okay.

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Psssst, I said this in the very first response. GMTA.

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Originally Posted by Alty

I haven't spanked either one of them in at least 2 years, and I never want to again. But then, I'm human, so I can't promise.

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Hello Alty:

It's a cycle perpetuated by each succeeding generation.. It's exceedingly difficult to break. As noted, it's one of the FIRST lessons we learn about life. But, it takes somebody who SEES the cycle, to break it. Good for you for TRYING.

I'm no better than anybody else here. I was spanked. So, MY impetus is to spank. Like you, I resisted. Also like you, I didn't totally overcome it. It's pretty HARD to break. I spanked my son TWICE in his lifetime. He doesn't spank his kids at all.

excon

I'm hoping that we have broken the cycle. The times that I have spanked my kids, and like I said, I could count those times on one hand for both kids, the situation really called for something they'd remember.

The first time I spanked Jared was when he was around 3. He ran across the road, almost got hit by a car. I had told him so many times that he wasn't allowed across the road without me. I was scared to death, and in my fear I spanked him. Afterwards I went inside and cried. I felt like the worlds worst mother. I apologized to him about it, told him that I was upset, that I don't like hitting, that I shouldn't have hit him, and that I did it only because I was so afraid that I could have lost him, and I wanted to make sure that he knew never to do that again. Well, it did work, he never ran across the street again, but I still feel guilt about that day.

The second time was when he got a hold of Rod's lighter, unbeknownst to me (and that is partially my fault. Teach me to turn my back for a few minutes), and set our brand new couch on fire, and almost himself. I could have cared less about the couch. I was so scared, he could have been badly injured. I reacted in a bad way. But, to this day, if he sees a lighter he brings it to me immediately.

Those are just 2 of the three times I spanked Jared. Sydney has been spanked once.

I'm hoping it never happens again, and yes, I know it's in my control, but again, I'm human. I can't promise that I won't make mistakes. I know they will too. Perfect is boring anyway. :)

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I've moved this to a discussion thread, which is more appropriate for this kind of question. There are other threads on this topic, but most are older, and there are lots of new members, so maybe some of them will add to this thread.

I was spanked as a child (although since I was very well behaved, it wasn't often :)), and I tried spanking my first child, but it didn't solve anything and just made him more defiant and didn't change his behavior. (He later turned out to be autistic.) Therefore, I vote no. Spanking teaches a child only that someone bigger than him can hit harder. It encourages anger and defiance. Positive discipline methods work better and, at the same time, teach a parent how to be creative.

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I agree here and good points made! I do not have any children of my own, I ask for more future reference, and for my nephew. Not that I would EVER spank him, but sometimes its like he needs that to get his attention. His parents are not very consistent in the types of punishment they choose for him. Then again the poor guy is only two. :) He's a sweetie when he's not being a typical two year old.

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Originally Posted by Alty

I'm hoping that we have broken the cycle. The times that I have spanked my kids, and like I said, I could count those times on one hand for both kids, the situation really called for something they'd remember.

The first time I spanked Jared was when he was around 3. He ran across the road, almost got hit by a car. I had told him so many times that he wasn't allowed across the road without me. I was scared to death, and in my fear I spanked him. Afterwards I went inside and cried. I felt like the worlds worst mother. I apologized to him about it, told him that I was upset, that I don't like hitting, that I shouldn't have hit him, and that I did it only because I was so afraid that I could have lost him, and I wanted to make sure that he knew never to do that again. Well, it did work, he never ran across the street again, but I still feel guilt about that day.

The second time was when he got a hold of Rod's lighter, unbeknownst to me (and that is partially my fault. Teach me to turn my back for a few minutes), and set our brand new couch on fire, and almost himself. I could have cared less about the couch. I was so scared, he could have been badly injured. I reacted in a bad way. But, to this day, if he sees a lighter he brings it to me immediately.

Those are just 2 of the three times I spanked Jared. Sydney has been spanked once.

I'm hoping it never happens again, and yes, I know it's in my control, but again, I'm human. I can't promise that I won't make mistakes. I know they will too. Perfect is boring anyway. :)

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Like I said... I am no parent so I don't know what that feels like yet, but I can only imagine. I do think you handled the situations well, and explaining to Jared why you spanked him probably is what made him see the light!