Ask Me Help Desk - Debate on Porn

Porn is no fun without Synnen!!

Lol... although I was posting in the peeves thread, she didn't see the line in my sig :rolleyes: Anyway, gald you're here Synn, waiting for your part of comment ;)

I'm not in for a debate but here's my opinion, if it matters:

I like porn. I watch porn.

Porn is like gambling. You can enjoy it but if you get addicted it'll cost you.

Porn does ruin relationships if you let it. Most of the time women want to be the only woman the guy sees and so the guy sneaks around and watches porn. It's not exactly the porn that ruined the relationship it's the sneaking around part.

Well that's my two cents.

Porn is good. It's not bad and a destroyer of relationships unless you let it be.

Sarah

Thanks Muddy :) I really appreciate it.

Okay, have still only made it through part of reading everything, but wanted to put in my two pennies.

Porn is like EVERY other sex issue: it depends on the people involved and how they use it. The problems arise when couples are not open in their discussion about it, and then find out that they are on opposite ends of the spectrum in their opinions on it.

Personally, I think that as long as you and your partner are on the same page about it, or at least respect each others' opinions, there's not an issue.

HOWEVER--I will agree that porn--JUST like Disney movies--can and does put some unrealistic expectations out there for people to follow in relationships. Porn makes people feel badly if they aren't that freaky, or sexy, or aren't squirting or don't have a big enough penis or pretty vagina---or whatever! I think that SOME of that problem is that those people have self-esteem issues to begin with. Either way, porn tends to make people, specifically young men, see sex as being good ONLY if it's done a certain way, or they need their girl to be "freaky' (or the other side of it--they'll only date "vanilla" girls because you screw freaky girls, but you marry good girls), or they have gotten used to the perfection of porn stars/centerfolds.

Disney movies, by contrast, make people, especially young women, see marriage and love as being too easy, too perfect. Most Disney princesses marry the first guy they meet and live happily ever after with him, no fights or struggles between the two of them--it's always the two of them against the world. This is NO MORE unrealistic than porn is--yet we encourage our daughters to watch it!

My point is this: Women go into relationships expecting a fairy tale. Men go into relationships with an expectation of a certain kind of sexual progression. This is especially true of young men and women with little life experience to teach them otherwise. Part of the reason that it IS so damaging, though, has nothing to do with the media pushing all of this: it has mainly to do with the lack of a parental example of a good marriage/relationship. With so many comign from broken homes, and raised by single parents that date (and usually have no problem being open about the dating in front of their kids--good and bad)--where do kids have an example of a real, live relationship that is healthy and normal?

ANYTHING taken to extremes is bad--porn, fairy tales, smoking, drugs, alcohol, going to your mother's house every night instead of home to your spouse, whatever.

If porn is used as a tool to help a flagging relationship, or as a masturbatory tool for when your partner is not available--well, fine then. If porn is something you're looking at at work on a daily basis and you neglect your spouse for it---there's a problem.

Great Post, Synnnen.

I agree that Disney sets up weird expectations too. I also think Disney depicts women has helpless and relatively incompetent compared to men. These are not good for girls' development of competence.

I think there are plenty of strong competent female characters in Disney movies, they are not all helpless and weak. I hate it when the politically correct crowd complain about things such as ethnic stereotypes in old Disney movies. You can't judge a movie made in the 70s and earlier by today's standards and they were meant to be funny not intolerant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by earl237

I think there are plenty of strong competent female characters in Disney movies, they are not all helpless and weak. I hate it when the politically correct crowd complain about things such as ethnic stereotypes in old Disney movies. You can't judge a movie made in the 70s and earlier by today's standards and they were meant to be funny not intolerant.

I think there are plenty of strong and competent female characters in porn--you just have to choose which ones you watch.

JUST like in Disney movies.

Quote:

Originally Posted by earl237

I think there are plenty of strong competent female characters in Disney movies, they are not all helpless and weak. I hate it when the politically correct crowd complain about things such as ethnic stereotypes in old Disney movies. You can't judge a movie made in the 70s and earlier by today's standards and they were meant to be funny not intolerant.

Hey! I'm not a "politically correct crowd." I'm one person. And I am telling you what I think! I have watched a fair number of Disney movies, willingly and not. And they were not made in the 70s.

I hate it when crowds of politically correct conservatives defend canned culture. ;)

Thanks Synn, very precious opinion from you :)

Well, most cartoons are what they are because of fantasy, right? And I think porn, in one way or the other does the same thing, as stated before.

Ok, the debate occurred an hour ago, I posted this in the lounge's ship, here it is:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknown008

Anyway, got the debate an hour ago. My friend was the one who had to up up the arguments, and me the rebuttal. However, he lacked some material, I proposed to give him mine, since I got more arguments than required and I only needed to rebut.

He said that he was ok, that I need not give him mine. Then, he was short on ideas, too late to give him more info now :( Used half the time allocated.

Then rebuttal round, I was nervous about the fact that we had wasted a lot of time, that I forgot my rebuttal and got off completely. Fortunately, the opposing team did that too. Then, the summary time, my friend, well, sort of didn't say the required things and made my team lose the debate.

However, as I replied to many questions after the debate from the audience, and my opposing team member who did too, both of us were close to the 'best speaker'. She once or twice got 'black out' (of ideas) and that made me the best speaker, so yeah! :D

Many thanks to all those who supported me in that debate, I really would never have got that best speaker title if you were not there :)

We're all here to help people, Unky. It's especially gratifying when it's a friend.

I think it's not harmful for us to talk about porn,but I don't recommand it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shihouzhuge

I think it's not harmful for us to talk about porn,but i don't recommand it.

And why is that? We aren't viewing it, of course. We're talking about it.

Well, from the debate, I've learned that education is the best weapon against porn. So, better talk about it :rolleyes: Of course, not talking of what happens in the clips, but about it, it's dangers, etc and that's what we are doing :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknown008

Well, from the debate, I've learned that education is the best weapon against porn. So, better talk about it :rolleyes: Of course, not talking of what happens in the clips, but about it, it's dangers, etc and that's what we are doing :)

Hello unky:

Well, I haven't followed the whole thread.. But, I HOPE we're not talking about the dangers of porn, because there ISN'T any.

I submit that pornography is very mainstream in this country, and MOST people consume it with NO difficulty. You know, of course, that it's on EVERY cable TV network in the country, and it's in EVERY hotel room in this country.

I DO submit, however, that there is a small segment of the population that can't handle porn, just like there's a small segment of society that can't handle liquor. That's probably around 10% of the people. Like liquor, we found that it doesn't work to ban something that MOST people do without any problems.

So, I don't buy into the evils of drinking, drugging, and pornography. They are only inanimate objects. In and of themselves, they aren't good or bad. People are good or bad.

excon

Sorry Exy, but I have got information about porn saying the opposite.

A study showed that 100% of people watching porn were affected.

Whether it is a long term effect of not, that is what depends on the individual (that's my view)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknown008

Sorry Exy, but I have got information about porn saying the opposite.

A study showed that 100% of people watching porn were affected.

Whether it is a long term effect of not, that is what depends on the individual (that's my view)

Do you have a site for this? I wonder what the study meant by "affected." Excited? Sickened? A little of both? "Affected" seems to be a very broad based word.

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

So, I don't buy into the evils of drinking, drugging, and pornography. They are only inanimate objects. In and of themselves, they aren't good or bad. People are good or bad.

Couldn't agree more.

This trails off into people not being able to take responsibility for their own decisions. I'm with excon on this, although there may be statistical evidence, I just don't believe it.

Hmm, OK, look at post 114. That should be on page 11.

It's concerning aggressivity towards female, positive outcome and negative outcome.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknown008

A study showed that 100% of people watching porn were affected.

Hello again, unky:

Yeah... When I watch porn, I'm affected... Damnit!

But I, like Judy, wonder if it's so bad and it's been PROVEN to be so bad, why is it absolutely everywhere, and why isn't your government doing something about it?

excon