Ask Me Help Desk - The NC Calendar

Hey I'm back, I had to take a nap as I was starting to feel light headed. Guys I don't like the way I am feeling. It's like I was lied to, She said she loved me with all her heart ansd would do anything in her power for me. And that we could work through anything that came our way. But now since it has come, she got fed up so easily and just broke me off. Now she is going to feel sad, and now she is going to call up her guy friends, and they are going to go out and have fun.I loved her unconditionaly, nothing could stop me from loving, when I first met her I promised that I would try my best to let nothing happen to her and that I was staying and that I would never leave her. She made me promise that I would never hurt her and that I would protect her. I was her guardian, she had her heart broken once and I scooped it up and nursed it till it got better, and I owned that heart, she was in l ove with me and I was in love with her.I feel ike I failed her. Its one thing about me, I always stick to my words and I rarely promise anything. I promised that I would protect her and love her till no end and that I will never go anywere. Ipromised I wasn't going to go anywere.. I did, I did, I promised, I promised. Why does it hurt so bad, it hurts omg it hurts, idont cry but I can feel something, I don't deserve this pain. I promised. And I failed, I Don't BREAK PROMISES, I NEVER HAVE!! That's why I rarely promise anything, GOD WHY DID I PROMISE. I failed, I actually broke my promise. I protected her, took so many blows to the heart for her, I did everything for her see asked for something I would make sure I tried my hardest before I could either say yes or no. all I wanted in return was her love,and her heart, and the truth. Why?why is it that something that can make you feel so wanted, so good, so amazing, make you feel like your dying 1000 deaths. I lost her I said I wasn't going to loose her and I lost her. I need to think about me now, but I am so into other peoples lives to make sure they feel good I cant. I am the type of person who everyone calls on when there down or if they need help I am there. What karma is this?what do I need to work on to better myself?

I know what you mean man, its like the one person in the world who gives you so much joy and happiness one days gives you so much pain and anger.

Why is it we are the ones left to pick up the pieces, I mean we did nothing wrong, we tried our best and didn't turn traitor in the first sign of trouble yet we are the ones left behind.

I know my ex goes out every weekend with her friends and I'm left alone, its just not fair.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigbird213

Heres a question for the masses....

It seems that when women break up, they are immediately approached and people let them know that they are interested. It doesn't seem that men have the same luck with this sort of thing... Anyone else notice that?

Is it easier for a women to find someone else to date/hang out with than a man?

I have to agree with you on that. Bang on the money. Easy for a girl to go out and get with a guy, especially on a night out that's for sure.

In the long term, I guess its swings and roundabouts. When your not looking for it, you find it, (I have twice by not looking for it) and when your looking for it, in the early days after being dumped, (must be some kind of reaction in us, that says we must find someone quick to replace the ex) you never find it, and if you do, its normally pointless and your not going to be 'in' the relationship at all.

I'm happy on my own at the moment, when I'm ready ill be ready and when I meet someone ill meet someone.

Just enjoy being on your own for a bit, and take each day as it comes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajhastings88

Hey im back, i had to take a nap as i was starting to feel light headed. guys i dont like the way i am feeling.

Look around... Nobody here does.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajhastings88

It's like i was lied to, She said she loved me whith all her heart ansd would do anything in her power for me. And that we could work through anything that came our way. But now since it has come, she got fed up so easily and just broke me off.

You weren't lied to. She was honest with you. That is more courtesy then a lot of people get. To quote JB at one point: People mean everything they say when they say it. She wasn't lying to you when she said that. Do you honestly believe that every couple that gets divorced was lying to each other on their wedding day? Hell no, things change bud, that's life...

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajhastings88

now she is going to feel sad, and now she is going to call up her guy friends, and they are going to go out and have fun.

Assumptions are as bad as contacting her. Don't do that. You have NO IDEA what she is doing. She might be sitting around, napping because she is feeling dizzy too. She might be miserable and trying to get through this, because she knows its best.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajhastings88

I loved her unconditionaly, nothing could stop me from loving, when i first met her i promised that i would try my best to let nothing happen to her and that i was staying and that i would never leave her. She made me promise that i would never hurt her and that i would protect her. I was her gaurdian, she had her heart broken once and i scooped it up and nursed it till it got better, and i owned that heart, she was in l ove with me and i was inlove with her.I feel ike i failed her. its one thing about me, i always stick to my words and i rarely promise anything. I promised that i would protect her and love her till no end and that i will never go anywere. ipromised i wasnt going to go anywere.. i did, i did, i promised, i promised. Why does it hurt so bad, it hurts omg it hurts, idont cry but i can feel something, i dont deserve this pain. i promised. and i failed,

I don't have much to say to that, I'm going to chalk that up to ranting/venting. Its good for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajhastings88

I DONT BREAK PROMISES, I NEVER HAVE!!!! Thats why i rarely promise anything, GOD WHY DID I PROMISE. I failed, i actually broke my promise. I protected her, took so many blows to the heart for her, i did everything for her see asked for something i would make sure i tried my hardest before i could either say yes or no. all i wanted in return was her love,and her heart, and the truth.

How is that you failing? Is there something that your not telling us? It seems to me that you did everything you could and she didn't like where it was going. Unless a piece of this puzzle is missing, you didn't fail anything. Nobody failed, you guys gave it all you had, and it just didn't work out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajhastings88

why?why is it that something that can make you feel so wanted, so good, so amazing, make you feel like your dying 1000 deaths. i lost her i said i wasnt going to loose her and i lost her. I need to think about me now, but i am so into other peoples lives to make sure they feel good i cant. I am the type of person who everyone calls on when there down or if they need help i am there.

Ever hear that risk and reward are related? Being in love is one of the most rewarding expierences you can have. At the same time, it is one of the riskiest. You give so much of yourself to someone, and that someone has the power to shatter your soul. Its okay, it HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. Everyone on this board have been dumped, or lost someone very dear to them. We can relate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajhastings88

what karma is this?what do i need to work on to better my self?

First off, I'd recommend becoming whole by yourself. You remind me of myself a year ago when I could not function without my ex. She broke up with me a year ago, and I was cripple for six months because I did not have a life outside of her. That is a dangerous situation, and I think you put yourself in it as well. It's a common mistake, but this is when you learn what you did wrong, and NEVER do it again.

Another word of advice, you might have more success with responses if you start your own thread on the main Relationships page.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajhastings88

Hey im back, i had to take a nap as i was starting to feel light headed. guys i dont like the way i am feeling. It's like i was lied to, She said she loved me whith all her heart ansd would do anything in her power for me. And that we could work through anything that came our way. But now since it has come, she got fed up so easily and just broke me off. now she is going to feel sad, and now she is going to call up her guy friends, and they are going to go out and have fun.I loved her unconditionaly, nothing could stop me from loving, when i first met her i promised that i would try my best to let nothing happen to her and that i was staying and that i would never leave her. She made me promise that i would never hurt her and that i would protect her. I was her gaurdian, she had her heart broken once and i scooped it up and nursed it till it got better, and i owned that heart, she was in l ove with me and i was inlove with her.I feel ike i failed her. its one thing about me, i always stick to my words and i rarely promise anything. I promised that i would protect her and love her till no end and that i will never go anywere. ipromised i wasnt going to go anywere.. i did, i did, i promised, i promised. Why does it hurt so bad, it hurts omg it hurts, idont cry but i can feel something, i dont deserve this pain. i promised. and i failed, I DONT BREAK PROMISES, I NEVER HAVE!!!! Thats why i rarely promise anything, GOD WHY DID I PROMISE. I failed, i actually broke my promise. I protected her, took so many blows to the heart for her, i did everything for her see asked for something i would make sure i tried my hardest before i could either say yes or no. all i wanted in return was her love,and her heart, and the truth. why?why is it that something that can make you feel so wanted, so good, so amazing, make you feel like your dying 1000 deaths. i lost her i said i wasnt going to loose her and i lost her. I need to think about me now, but i am so into other peoples lives to make sure they feel good i cant. I am the type of person who everyone calls on when there down or if they need help i am there. what karma is this?what do i need to work on to better my self?

Throughout your whole post, you only said I, you did all the work. But you see that you didn't fail because you gave so much. It's unfortanate that she couldn't handle it. You were doing all that you can and she was not trying as hard. All you wanted to do was make her happy, that you neglected yourself. You got her love, you had her, and why do you feel bad that she couldn't see that? There is nothing more that you can do for her sake, You should be doing everything from this point on for yourself. Not her, not your friends. For you! I know you feel betrayed, hurt, sad, blaiming yourself thinking you failed. But you didn't fail, You only experienced love. The reason we experience the low points of life is to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them. In your case You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. You must love yourself before you love another. And Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing...

OK get this people, on Saturday I hooked up with a girl I went with a few times last year, anyhoo my ex gets wind of this and emails the girl and tells her I abused her and that's why she dumped me.

Now this is all lies but why would my ex do that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

ok get this people, on saturday i hooked up with a girl i went with a few times last year, anyhoo my ex gets wind of this and emails the girl and tells her i abused her and thats why she dumped me.

Now this is all lies but why would my ex do that?

She's jealous and immature. Ignore it. If the girl your talking with respects you, she will believe you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

i know what you mean man, its like the one person in the world who gives you so much joy and happiness one days gives you so much pain and anger.

Why is it we are the ones left to pick up the pieces, i mean we did nothing wrong, we tried our best and didnt turn traitor in the first sign of trouble yet we are the ones left behind.

i know my ex goes out every weekend with her friends and im left alone, its just not fair.

First off, it's okay to be angry. Everyone is after a break up, but also you need to reevaluate your relationship. Maybe you did do things wrong but didn't realize it. Ending a relationship is hard to do, especially with love being there. Take strength in your anger right now, it will help you move on. But you will come to a point where you no longer blame them

Second, life's not fair. Get used to it, you yourself are allowing this to beat you down and not go out. Call some friends, stop staying at home moping around. She's out, so should you be. It's what you do when you're SINGLE! Enjoy it, it's fun to hang out with people and socialize. That is why they call it society, put the ice cream down, turn off the notebook or PS I love you, get a shower, put on some nice clothes and get out there!

Quote:

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

ok get this people, on saturday i hooked up with a girl i went with a few times last year, anyhoo my ex gets wind of this and emails the girl and tells her i abused her and thats why she dumped me.

Now this is all lies but why would my ex do that?

Misery loves company! That's why.

She does believe me and she's known me longer than my ex but she says she's going to back off cause she doesn't want to get involved.

I thnk this is unfair because I did have a great day with her and my ex has now ruined it, she will no doubt be going out this weekend and having fun but she tries to ruin this for me.

Shows how much of a b!TCH SHE IS

Quote:

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

she does believe me and shes known me longer than my ex but she says shes going to back off cause she doesnt want to get involved.

I thnk this is unfair because i did have a great day with her and my ex has now ruined it, she will no doubt be going out this weekend and having fun but she tries to ruin this for me.

Shows how much of a b!TCH SHE IS

Well just don't react angrily it will justify your ex rumors... Your ex still wants to be apart of your life by trying to ruin what's left of you for her personal pleasure but it will backfire. You just keep your cool.

She's getting a rise out of you, which is exactly what she wants. Act like it never happened.

I'm going to give you a piece of advice. Every day you wake up, you have 2 choices. You could wake up and say "today is my day, no matter what happens I'm going to laugh it off" or you could wake up and say "today is my day, until me ex does something" So far you have picked option 2. Tomorrow, try waking up using my first choice. You will feel better. And for the love of god, stop going after girls your ex knows!

Thought I should share,

Just heard some lyrics from an OLD favorite song. Might help someone around here put things in perspective...

"I can't wait for you,
To catch up with me.
And I can't live in the past,
And drown myself in memories"

A bit inspiring to me, maybe it'll help someone. If not, then I'm just a loser :D haha jk

"zooropa1985 agrees: lol chuff shoulda copyrighted this style of post, he could have sold it off as a template and made a fortune"

Actually I have copyrighted and trademarked it. Every time somebody practices "Chuffing" I am to be paid a small but fair fee of $8.00.

Also, as for your ex making up stories I've run across this same lie twice in my life and both times it lead to me getting a girlfriend. Ironically it seemed in both cases to actually help me rather then hurt me. When I was told about these accusations I completely flipped out and beat her up... Just kidding, in reality I just smiled at them said "I'm not even surprised." The second time it happened I got a bunch of questions on the subject and answered them all honestly and pointed out several lies about the story she had heard. Long story short, this is one of those times when women think they are hurting you and other women find it fascinating that you are the subject of such emotion. Remember, emotion and drama are what women seek, and if one woman is stirred up to the point up making up abuse lies that makes other women wonder exactly what is so appealing about you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

"zooropa1985 agrees: lol chuff shoulda copyrighted this style of post, he could have sold it off as a template and made a fortune"

Actually I have copyrighted and trademarked it. Everytime somebody practices "Chuffing" I am to be paid a small but fair fee of $8.00.

Also, as for your ex making up stories I've run across this same lie twice in my life and both times it lead to me getting a girlfriend. Ironically it seemed in both cases to actually help me rather then hurt me. When I was told about these accusations I completely flipped out and beat her up...........................................Just kidding, in reality I just smiled at them said "I'm not even surprised." The second time it happened I got a bunch of questions on the subject and answered them all honestly and pointed out several lies about the story she had heard. Long story short, this is one of those times when women think they are hurting you and other women find it fascinating that you are the subject of such emotion. Remember, emotion and drama are what women seek, and if one woman is stirred up to the point up making up abuse lies that makes other women wonder exactly what is so appealing about you.

Have to spread the rep before I can greenie you but you are the master.

I agree with what everyone is saying here and taking it on board. Another thing is that my ex doesn't really know this girl, she had asked me out a while back when I was taken and my ex warned her off, she must have seen her bebo or something, I'm not sure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Actually I have copyrighted and trademarked it. Everytime somebody practices "Chuffing" I am to be paid a small but fair fee of $8.00.

... The checks in the mail

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigbird213

...The checks in the mail

I'm glad I can bring people together :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigbird213

...The checks in the mail

I'll be expecting it by the end of the week or I'll have to terminate your Chuffing abilities.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

im glad i can bring people together :)

I'm glad I'm finally going to get paid for this.