I feel for you man. That's probably worse off then I am as it was just a picture of him, nothing else. She wasn't in the picture or anything, just my imagination. Glad to know you know how I felt though.Quote:
Originally Posted by nickshehe
|
I feel for you man. That's probably worse off then I am as it was just a picture of him, nothing else. She wasn't in the picture or anything, just my imagination. Glad to know you know how I felt though.Quote:
Originally Posted by nickshehe
Sometimes when you feeling good, and things are flowing well, we think we can fly, until we eat dust, and realise we ain't birds.
Events that you shouldn't know about, and shouldn't care about, have crept into your mind, you already know the best way to let go is get busy, or busier.
Big bird,
Hang in there mate, I recently saw on my ex's Facebook a wallpost from one of her friends basically implying that she was staying with some guy who I suspected she was seeing. I can see what you mean when you talk about shaking with emotion. Whether the message had anything factual in it or not, I never really found out, but I was thinking almost exactly the same things as what you were listing a few posts back. That was a month ago and to tell the truth it doesn't bother me that much anymore. The bottom line is, 1) If she's the sort of person to do something like that we don't need them, 2) avoid ALL forms of contact and 3) you will get over it.
I think the reason why that post had such a massive response was for two reasons. Firstly you've been (I really hate to sound clichéd here) an inspiration to all of the people in this s**tty situation, and secondly because I reckon everyone can relate to what you were thinking, and something like that is what we all hate to see. We're only human mate.
Well I'm glad to know I can help. I'm trying to get back into that today, it makes me feel good. The number of responses I got really helped and I want to say thanks to everyone involved. I'll be fine, I'm just riding it out.
The funny thing about that statement is you truly get to test yourself. That is the epitome of your heart in conflict with your mind. You want NOTHING MORE than to know all the answers, and you know that you need NOTHING LESS than to know them.Quote:
Originally Posted by jammyb
It's actually quite funny, after 6 months, me and my ex just now started talking friendly to each other. Well more than the awkward "hello" at work, and after the first night I had a friend request from her. So instead of making a rash decision, I went for a walk to weigh the pro's and cons, I ultimately decided to accept her friend request as I don't have to look at her profile(which I haven't yet). Each time we have texted each other it turns into an hour long conversation about how she sees I have changed and made improvements in my life. She has admitted to several people she is not happy with her current boyfriend, which I find funny because me n a friend called that 3 months ago when it started.
I NEVER would have thought that after 6 months, I would be standing here saying "I'm fine, with or without her"
Rome,
That's inspirational. As much as I hate to say it now (please don't throw rocks), I can't wait until I can be friends with her. I don't know if I can be friends with her ever, but I assume after enough time has passed. I got a little cocky as I was doing so well, so I guess this was a reality check. I'm certainly not ready now, maybe by the end of the summer, maybe by Christmas, maybe never.
Hopefully someday...
The only thing I really worry about with being friends with her is that if it does grow into something, I'll go back to my old ways. But I assured myself that this site will keep me level headed and know that everyone here will keep my butt back to reality ha ha. I just have to hear it from my mom about how she thinks the time apart did us well and blah blah blah...
Bigbird, you will get there someday. Thursday I just reached the point where I said to myself, you feel fine, try talking and after I saw I was feeling fine. That's when I knew we could have a friendship. I think you get to a point where you realize yourself that you're ready for that jump
Guys I cracked and I called, I feel so stupid. GOD WHY? Ijus wish someone could come and take all these feelings away. I was never this emotional at all.I can feel a baall in my throat, and it is really bugging me.Her voice is what used to calm me and put me to sleep. Then it was the first thing in the morning that I would hear, to assure that she loved me so much, and that we would have a family togther, and to have a great day.It hurts. I miss her soft skin, her aroma of lavender, and her gorgeous green and hazel eyes, and most of all her little hand that would rest on my chest. I played foot ball, ran track, did wait traing with former NFL athletes and played in the band, and NO training ever hurt this much. I think I am going to be on here all day.
Sorry I let you guys down, sorry I failed you birdman.
Don't apologize to me, you didn't fail me. If you failed anyone, it was yourself.
The thing about the NC and the breakup is that you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself. I did the same last night bud, I cracked, I screwed up, and I spent all night hating myself for it. You'll get over it, you'll learn that it wasn't smart and you'll stop yourself from doing it next time ( I hope).
I know how you feel, truly I do. It sucks, we all know. Try to learn from what you did, and not EVER do it again. You see how bad you feel now? How you feel so low because you gave in? Any power you had, its now gone. That's the feeling you want to avoid, and the only one who is making you feel like that is... you guessed it, you...
If you're here all day, big deal. It helps, do whatever it takes.
BTW, if your athletic try running or hitting the gym. Anything exhausting really helps. It helped me a lot.
Aj, you didn't fail anyone. We have all broken the NC barrier a few times, everyone agree? You fall off the horse, but each time you get stronger and stronger to the point where Tal kicks you in the butt and you realize you're fine with or without them in your life. Always remember, you were breathing before them, and you're breathing without them. Trust me, you will be fine
I see NC like going cold turkey and she being the drug I'm addicted too, and the only reason we break NC is because we need that fix, be it the sound of her voice, one last connection... all in hope that things will go back to the way they were. On some occasions this works, sometimes it doesn't. I broke no connection nearly 2 months ago, and we got back 2gther for it... but sometimes you just know. Like now we split up again, I know that it is not time for me to get in contact again. I was out with a friend last week and all of the weekend before I had planned to contact my ex when I was ot with my friend, and when I wa sout I just didn't feel like texting her, but stupidly, very stupidly I did, and I gave her lots of power. Then I stupidly, drunkly text her again on Friday night, then we got into an argument on Saturday. Sunday night I went out and just had a good single ight out, managed to piss her off with my flirting with other girls, and even now I don't feel good about it, but I know I have a little bit of power... the power to stay no contact! And right now it is killing me, all I want to do is contact her and get my fix... but it won't help at all! So I just got to keep myself busy and say no!!
I like that. A little clearer than no contact :)Quote:
Originally Posted by srulik86
Here is something that keith brooking used to say in the weight room when we felt like one of use could not handle the pain of the training. " the only reason you can go through so many hours of hell on on the field, is becuase you have your brothers and team mates to push you on, but the only reason you can't handle these weights is because it is concentrated on you and you alone, but there is something to remember "girls" ( god I hated when he said that) PAIN IS TEMPORARY, VICTORY LIVES FOREVER!!
Quoted by D.J. Hicks.
We all break NC once in a while. Its part of the process. Sometimes we break it cause we're desperate (in the beginning) and other times we break it because we honestly think we can handle it. Sometimes you just got to test the waters and then you realize "nope, not ready for that just yet".
One of my friends basically said it to me this way, if he calls you and you get excited for a moment and want to answer, its because you still have feelings for him so DON'T answer. If he calls you and you couldn't really care less whether you talk to him or not, then you're over it and again DON'T answer. So, its really a catch-all. Just DON'T answer. Its sucks but the whole "friends" thing is really a difficult place to get into. You both have to be so far removed from the situation for that to work. I think when exes are friends there's always one person who is a little more "into" the friendship than the other and feelings always resurface.
BTW, I love all you guys. Nice to find people who are all in the same boat. Whenever I think, God, why did this happen to me? How can anyone ever get over this? I remember I'm not alone. Thanks!
Good insight losingit,
It is a very difficult thing to accomplish and when you test the waters, sometimes it hurts a little bit. I found that out the tough way, and it still hurts now. I'm having a down moment, but they are spacing themselves out a little more as the day goes on. Its funny how you can really notice the pattern once you are aware of it.
I'm riding out the rough moments now, but in about 20 minutes I should be feeling good again. I'll be on here a lot today during work I'm sure, as an idle mind finds things to think about, many of which are not so great.
Making it through work is my immediate goal. I'm a little worried about tomorrow as it would have been our anniversary (4 years) but its nothing more than a date. I hate to say it, but I wonder if she's going to remember or think of me tomorrow...
Ah who cares.
Hah,Quote:
Originally Posted by losingit77
You ever stop and just think about all the other people in the world. The breakups you hear about with your friends, family members etc... You stop and think... EVERYONE has been through this, why was it not such a big deal then... I think that a lot, it's a real eye opener.
Guys, I need that closure. I am tired of waiting hoping she will call so I can't answer. I need to know If we just need to quit and go our separate ways.
Bigbird,your current situation breaks my heart. I could imagine the pain and loss you feel when you imagine your girlfriend giving her I-love-yous to someone new. You'd have to accept that she,l ike every other person including yourself, is striving for her happiness - one way or another. Its what people do, so you should really look forward to living the rest of your life, because if you're as good in life as you're on "paper", well its going to be awsome :)
The only way to get closure is to move on. Her calling so you can ignore it isn't going to help you. In fact, from experience, it usually makes you feel worse. You feel like a jerk for not answering and then you will sit and wonder what she wanted.
Your hoping she will call, it seems like you want to hear her voice again. Bad news AJ, stay away from that. Get your closure by moving on and never looking back.
Listen, I never got closure either. She broke up with me over the phone when I was an hour and a half away at a Casino. I just had a fun night with my friend and as soon as I woke up the next morning, I got a text saying "I'm not happy anymore". Well, you can guess the rest, but I wanted to see her very badly one more time, then I realized the only reason I wanted to see her is that it would make it hard for her and I was hoping she would change her mind.
Closure is a fallacy.
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:25 AM. |