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Originally Posted by lola nyc

Yea my emotions are high this week.. Plus with our anniversary next week.. im having anxiety over it. Will he call wont he call.. UGH> I plan on getting pretty drunk sat night with some friends so Im hoping I'll forget the pain for a few hrs...

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Never quite understood this... Why drink to feel better knowing that alcohol is a depressant. Do what you want, but be careful. People have been known to make bad decisions when they are drunk. Wouldn't want to slip up and call him, would you?

Personally, I never had the urge to drink when I'm not feeling great. My opinion - drink to make yourself have a better time than your already having, if I'm in a bad mood, I just don't feel like doing it.

Ever drink tequila?? LOL

No Ive already been drunk over the past few weeks and haven't called.. I never drunk dial. Never did. Not wasted literally.. 4 beers.. or 2 martinis.. that's as far as I go.. I don't want to get sick! Im old I'm not 18.. I know how to drink.

Im not drinking alone.. then I might get depressed!

I went to the beach had a few beers had a great time.. didn't feel depressed at all.. When the work week came back it gave me time to ponder my crappy situation. Felt crappy again.. I go out drink feel better.. I don't know it puts me in a good mood..

Im just going to have some fun and wait and see. I still have hope and I didn't come on the board to be bashed. I thought people would be nicer or more open..

If I wanted stick it in your face bluntness I would talk to my MOM!

I bet there are tons of people on here going through almost the same thing still having some hope... love doesn't DIE that quick! I can't turn it off like that.

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Originally Posted by lola nyc

if I wanted stick it in your face bluntness I would talk to my MOM!

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I certainly didn't try to "bash" you or give you "stick it in your face bluntness". I was just expressing concerns and giving you my advice/opinion on the situation. For the first month or two after my breakup, every time I drank I woke up the next morning feeling worse than I did the night before. I was just trying to help you out.

Take it how you will.

Sorry bigbird,

The way u had depressant bolded.. made me feel like you thought I was stupid and didn't know how to handle my drinks.. didn't mean to offend u.

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Originally Posted by lola nyc

sorry bigbird,

The way u had depressant bolded.. made me feel like you thought I was stupid and didn't know how to handle my drinks.. didn't mean to offend u.

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No worries, just wanted to emphasize it - some of the stories we get around here... :rolleyes:

F**k it, I was wrecked constantly for a good couple of weeks after the break up. It got me off my butt and out seeing mates. In my opinion they're probably the most important thing after a break up. If its an excuse to get out, why not? The drunk dialling is a real killer though, Bigbird has a damn good point. So are the hangovers.

To be honest though lola, its not that we're not being open/nice; I think its just that people aren't rreally themselves in this situation. People do stupid things and need the obvious pointing out to them. I know I did anyway, but screw it if you honestly think you should call him maybe you should, then hopefully u'll get the closure you want. Let us know how it goes

Lol. I feel like that is an expected turn-of-events soon after a break up. First, booze yourself away. Afterwards (and perhaps throughout), feel like sh*t and, because you cannot run away from the opened can of angst and gloom, start the difficult process of dealing with -shudder- feelings.

So I'm visiting my friend next weekend, which is where my ex currently resides. I know I shouldn't, but I'm curious to see what would happen if I told him I'll be around. I don't feel much for him at all, which is not even disappointing because I don't really care in that way anymore (lol- feelings are fickle). I'm just curious.

... I know there's a lot wrong with what I just said. Oh MAN. Hahaha. Just ignore me... -__-

Going back to studying for LSATs,
J

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Originally Posted by LostInHisEyez

Thats good to hear about not talking, its been idk maybe a week or two, but the sad thing is that im going to visit some old teachers, and he works there at the school..so we're bound to talk again, and it worries me...

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Tell him to fuq off when he tries to talk to you

So this is my 3rd day of no contact... before the breakup if we weren't together, we would talk on AIM a lot... now we both still go on it on some nights, seeing her online frustrates me sometimes because I want to talk to her but I know that'll only make me feel worse (happened 3 days ago)... so today I just went up and blocked her, this way I won't know when she's online and she won't know when I am, I won't feel bad about her not talking to me and I won't feel tempted to talk to her and make things worse for myself... as trivial as this may sound it's big for me and I think will help a lot in the healing

That is a very wise decision, and is recommended to everyone who comes here.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

That is a very wise decision, and is recommended to everyone who comes here.

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Agreed, and the same goes for Facebook, myspace, and your cell phone!

Lola if he says he needs time and you love him then isn't giving what he asks for the best thing? From what I can see this is all about what you want. In reading your posts I see little about you wanting the best for the man you love. If he wants you he will come back to you. Our ex's know how to get in touch with us.

I too hate being apart from my ex. It feels horrible not being wanted by the one we love. Nobody here is attacking you. People here are trying to help you avoid going through a hell of a lot of pain.

I also thought that I needed to see my ex just so she could look in my eyes and tell me she did not love me. BS! Investing time in a single person who has decided she does not want me, when there are others out there who maybe available makes no sense.

Last night, I had a dream of my ex going out with another guy. I woke up annoyed and it's stuck in my brain... damn~

This morning, I saw my ex on MSN but I did not want to talk to her... it seems like she's "okay" with this break up cause she has no feelings for me. Well, I thought of myself that one day I'll be on TV and tell the audience what happened to me and how this girl was an a$$.... I also told myself that I will have a better future than my ex and if she came to me for help, I'll tell her to fuq off...

for the dream.. is it normal?
for my idea.. is it ok?

Hi hjpan. Why do you still have your ex on MSN? What is that doing for your piece of mind mate?

I think your dream and your feelings are normal. We can think or dream about whatever we want. Just don't act on those thoughts. Wanting to tell your ex to fark off is normal. We just want our ex's to feel the same sense of pain we have been through. I wonder what I will say when I run into my ex next quarter. I know I will run into her as we are in the same major. I do not think I will be mean to her. It is more likely I will say hello as I walk by and leave it at that. I often think of all kinds of mean things I would like to say to her but in reality I just want her to be happy with or without me.

You seem like a good guy hjpan. Go easy on yourself and be good to yourself.

F104-Great advice.

hjpan-while your thoughts are normal, let me say your not busy enough. When you have those waking thoughts of anger, that's when you have to get busy.

One thing healing gives is a realistic view of the world around you, and very little time to dwell. Holding on to resentments always builds anger that, either motivates or debilitates. Be honest, where are you on this? Can you see progress in yourself?

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Originally Posted by f104

Hi hjpan. Why do you still have your ex on MSN? What is that doing for your piece of mind mate?

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Hey there f104..

I have my ex on MSN cause she never logs on and just by chance, she is on... It does not bother me cause I don't talk to her... I talk to my other friends

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Originally Posted by f104

I think your dream and and your feelings are normal. We can think or dream about whatever we want. Just don't act on those thoughts. Wanting to tell your ex to fark off is normal. We just want our ex's to feel the same sense of pain we have been through. I wonder what I will say when I run into my ex next quarter. I know I will run into her as we are in the same major. I do not think I will be mean to her. It is more likely I will say hello as I walk by and leave it at that. I often think of all kinds of mean things I would like to say to her but in reality I just want her to be happy with or without me.

You seem like a good guy hjpan. Go easy on yourself and be good to yourself.

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Well, I really want to tell her to go effe herself and make fun of her future that is not stable. For me, I won't be running into my ex in San Francisco cause I'll be going to technical school for hands-on training and returning back to university to study; by that time, I will be working part time & studying part time....

Thanks :D

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Originally Posted by talaniman

F104-Great advice.

hjpan-while your thoughts are normal, let me say your not busy enough. When you have those waking thoughts of anger, thats when you have to get busy.

One thing healing gives is a realistic view of the world around you, and very little time to dwell. Holding on to resentments always builds anger that, either motivates or debilitates. Be honest, where are you on this? Can you see progress in yourself?

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I can see myself be successful as long as I strive to continue myself to go on and leave the 8itch ex behind...

This afternoon, I was on facebook when my ex & I started talking a bit. I told her straight up that I'm not going back to the university and I'll be working (false plan). She's like "ok.. whatever.." attitude...

Well, I am now more eager to make her feel like sh8 as she did to me in the past..

thanks for helping me around~ I should help around too :)

..!

Hj, you're trying to make your ex feel bad?. classic sign that you're not trying to feel better buddy. It's not about revenge, it's simply about "healing"...

You can get revenge after you've healed... if you want. Sometimes, though, just the fact that you've healed is revenge enough. For instance, I was out with a smoking hottie what... mm... 2 weeks ago?. ran into my ex. It was weird, as... it was MY favorite restaurant... not sure what she was doing there with her boyfriend, but alas.

But yeah, I definitely won THAT battle. My girl could NOT be touched.

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

....?!?

hj, you're trying to make your ex feel bad? ...classic sign that you're not trying to feel better buddy. It's not about revenge, it's simply about "healing"...

You can get revenge after you've healed...if you want. Sometimes, though, just the fact that you've healed is revenge enough. For instance, I was out with a smoking hottie what...mm...2 weeks ago? ...ran into my ex. It was weird, as...it was MY favorite restaurant...not sure what she was doing there with her boyfriend, but alas.

but yeah, I definitely won THAT battle. My girl could NOT be touched.

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Hmmm... I guess it is revenge