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-   -   The NC Calendar II (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=227290)

  • Jun 2, 2008, 08:55 AM
    bigbird213
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DazT
    Well haven't really been thinking of her lately but for the past 2 nights I have dreamt about her. No idea why - and it has her in the back of my head all day when I dream about her. In my dreams, she's telling me she has missed me every minute of the day and I respond negatively to her?? Maybe I want her to be missing me, when, in reality, I don't think she is because she never bothers to contact me.

    Dreams are dreams. Random firings from your brain while you sleep. No doubt she was on your mind during the day, and the thoughts fell over to your sleep. Don't think too much into it. Happens to everyone.
  • Jun 2, 2008, 09:00 AM
    Sikativ
    on Day 6 of NC and she's not supposed to be gone longer than 7...
    (details are on my thread, it's the only one I've created, check my profile)

    Its really starting to sink in that she isn't coming back tomorrow... I have tomorrow off and I don't know what I am going to do with myself.

    I need to think in the now though and focus on today and worry about tomorrow when it comes. Long day of work ahead of me (1pm - 10pm, dreading it already)

    Just trying to get some of this out so I don't feel weird ALL day long x.x

    -Sik
  • Jun 2, 2008, 04:31 PM
    losingit77
    Well a little over 2 months since we broke up. Can't/don't count NC anymore since we actually spoke twice the weekend (he called 5 times).

    It was weird. We just chatted like old friends. I got to say. I really didn't feel any of those old feelings. We talked. Hung up and that was it. No crying. No sleepless nights. Nothing. Weird. Guess feelings can diminish and we can get control of our heart and emotions sometimes.

    To be honest, he honestly sounded surprised and a little confused by how apathetic I seemed. But, whatever. He knows he'll always hold a special place in my heart. But the last 2 months (and really more so the last 2 weeks) have given me a lot of time to realize that our relationship had to end. Not because there is anything wrong with him or anything wrong with me. We just want different things out of life and we are just too incompatible. There's no winners and losers in breakups. Just 2 people who just aren't meant to be together. It feels good to finally be getting to this place. And the future looks bright.

    Hang in there all. If you set your mind to it and really look hard enough, you can see the silver lining in what's happening to you right now.
  • Jun 2, 2008, 04:35 PM
    hjpan
    It's Day 5 of no contact.
  • Jun 2, 2008, 04:45 PM
    dollarman
    Day 4! I think my record is 7 days. Almost there... how's everyone doing today?
  • Jun 2, 2008, 04:49 PM
    hjpan
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by dollarman
    Day 4! I think my record is 7 days. Almost there....how's everyone doing 2day?

    Stressed as heck.

    3 essays due this week.
    2 final exams on Saturday... back to back... 3:30pm to 5:30pm & 6pm to 8pm

    That's how college life rolls me =/
  • Jun 2, 2008, 09:40 PM
    dollarman
    Hey don't be stressed man. Let the situation add a couple logs to your fire. I almost had a lapse and almost let myself get down about my situation, but then I read your post... I look at it two ways, we can either cry or smile. It's our choice to choose. Lol long-winded but good luck on those finals.
  • Jun 2, 2008, 10:01 PM
    hjpan
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by dollarman
    Hey don't be stressed man. Let the situation add a couple logs to your fire. I almost had a lapse and almost let myself get down about my situation, but then I read your post....I look at it two ways, we can either cry or smile. It's our choice to choose. Lol long-winded but good luck on those finals.


    Thankss =]
  • Jun 2, 2008, 10:12 PM
    NorthernNiceGuy
    Hey Bird and Tal,

    Just got home from my trip... haha the first thing I did was hit the computer to check what you had to say. Thanks for the words, they always help. Tomorrow is going to be a better day.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 12:04 AM
    Sikativ
    Day 7, she said she wouldn't be longer than a week (on her little trip, look at my thread for more info).

    Also happens to be our 4 month... ugh how awkward.

    -Sik
  • Jun 3, 2008, 12:09 AM
    dollarman
    Tough it out. A thought that helps me through is that you didn't forget her words, and she didn't forget yours. The difference is you actually cared, and currently she doesn't. Phones work two-ways, not just a one way deal. If she can blow you off, let your wind blow stronger.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 12:12 AM
    Shakedown24
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy
    (5 weeks in now)

    Hey Guys,


    Also, I feel ridiculous even saying it but have any of you guys gone through this.... We have been going to the bars and clubs a lot the last few days, and whenever I see one of those douche bag guys that hit on every girl in the place, I picture him with my girlfriend.... stupid I know...

    Jesus northern! You read my mind. I get like this even at the gym, I never used to compare myself to other guys, but now I see all the other guys with better physiques and imagine them with her, thinking that her intentions are to upgrade from me.

    I'm glad I don't feel alone in this. Thank you so much for speaking up about it!
  • Jun 3, 2008, 12:15 AM
    dollarman
    And another thing to remember, you never want to reach out, get bitten, feel bad, cry about it, piss your friends off by talking about, then have to hop on here just to say you messed up. Then the classic line... "I broke NC, I'm back on Day 1 again". I want to be worlds away from day 1.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 12:18 AM
    Sikativ
    She's blocked//removed from everything as of right now so I'm not worried. She knows my phones on and I'm not going to break NC unless I decide that I need to tell her she's moving out and her stuff is all packed up.

    All this just makes me wonder what in the world is going through her head...

    -Sik
  • Jun 3, 2008, 12:23 AM
    dollarman
    Good job on the blocking. Now let's work on worrying about her thoughts. You have to pretend to hold a mirror to her. Act as though she's completely forgotten you, and when you hold the 'mirror' up.. you need to reflect that. 'Forget' her in a sense, and focus on your thoughts. This is only going to strengthen you. There's plenty of support here... you're not alone.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 12:44 AM
    Sikativ
    I know and I appreciate that from everyone. Thanks.

    Still trying to decide whether to break NC or not.

    -Sik
  • Jun 3, 2008, 12:56 AM
    hjpan
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Sikativ
    I know and I appreciate that from everyone. Thanks.

    Still trying to decide whether to break NC or not.

    -Sik

    Give some more time or so..

    I'm trying my hardest not to call~ it's pretty rough.. 6 days
  • Jun 3, 2008, 03:52 AM
    bigbird213
    Sik,

    Dollarman has some good advice for you. I think you should reread it. The idea of the mirror and "letting your wind blow stronger" are both great suggestions.

    Don't worry about breaking NC, just keep going as you have been going. There is no reason to start over.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 06:00 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Sikativ
    I know and I appreciate that from everyone. Thanks.

    Still trying to decide whether to break NC or not.

    -Sik

    I just commented on your thread, and in my view taking care of those loose ends, she left behind is business you should take care of, as soon as possible. Handling your personal business overrides no cantact, and no begging or whinig, Do what you have to, and be done.
  • Jun 3, 2008, 06:17 AM
    Romefalls19
    When I was doing hard no contact I just looked at it this way, would you ever play through a whole videogame only to get to the final boss and turn off the system without saving? No flipping way! So why would you go 7 days and then want to start all over?

    What you think will happen, she will come back to you and then next time you forget to fold your shirt the right way, she takes off running? She disrespected you, your family, your house. Just think, in the old times, that type of thing was punishable by DEATH! And you want to talk to her? I would say "come get your stuff on this date at this time, if not it will be on the curb. Thank you"

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