Day 16 of NC! I feel AWESOME today. Don't know why. Had 2 really bad days in a row and now I feel great. Hopefully this high will continue at least for another couple of days.

And yes, after careful deliberation and the counsel of my friends and family, I've reached a decision. I will NOT be calling him for his b-day. I'm starting to feel enlightened. I was a wonderful girlfriend.. couldn't have asked for better. He, on the other hand, was a pretty crappy boyfriend towards the end so why should I reward him with anymore of my attention or care. I'm the prize, not HIM! Thanks all! Keep up the NC, it works if you work it! (I think that's an AA quote but you get the idea).

Day 2 - I almost broke today - but I wrote two text messages, saved them to my draft folder, waited an hour and deleted them after I read them again.

It actually made me feel better twice - once because I got the thoughts out - and even more so because I kept them mine instead of hers (since she doesn't deserve them anymore anyway).

Jckdig - here's something that helped a while ago when I had the urge to contact. I deleted his # from my cell and saved my own cell phone # in my cell under his name. This way every time I wanted to send him a text message I wound up just sending it back to myself. It helped. Sometimes just typing it all out and sending it (even just back to yourself) somehow just makes you feel better. Like you released it.

I had an awful weekend - nearly broke contact twice after nearly 40 days.. was so bored because I was on a weekend away with my parents and was sat in an apartment most of the time with nothing else to think about BUT my ex. So was on a low for 3 days, hopefully I pick it up now I'm home, I've started to feel better already.

Weird how the mind takes you on rollercoasters isn't it?

I just found out my grandma died, we wernt that close but I am still feeling pretty sad and all I want to do is talk to my ex:-( weird when something bad happens they are still the first person you want to share it with...

I made an e-mail account and sent them to that address. It almost feels like they get them.
Haha and if u make up. Than there all these wonderful memories u can make reading them together :)

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Originally Posted by len21

i just found out my grandma died, we wernt that close but i am still feeling pretty sad and all i want to do is talk to my ex:-( weird when something bad happens they are still the first person you want to share it with...

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I'm sorry for your loss...

Just know anything you need to share you can share with us on here and someone will have some insight/kind words for you. You have other people to talk to, just remember that...

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Originally Posted by len21

i just found out my grandma died, we wernt that close but i am still feeling pretty sad and all i want to do is talk to my ex:-( weird when something bad happens they are still the first person you want to share it with...

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U do know it's a valid reason to talk to him/her. Heck even mean this person is so very special to you.

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Originally Posted by Numb

I just had this idea after reading Mik's post.

How about if we use this thread to count the NC days, all of us? Each one would mention how long he/she's been maintaining the NC period and how he/she feels with time.
Maybe in some way this can help us all (including me)?

This is my first NC day.. Afternoon here, so far didn't even touch my phone. I don't know how I feel, but I'm not that miserable, I have a goal and thinking about it, NOT HER!

What about the rest of you?

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9 months to the day. Despite my resistance at the start, and 3 or 4 months of not being myself, I now know this is the best thing I have ever done. I am not the one in control. I am not really that fussed if she ever contacts me anyway, if she does, she will find a very different person than the one she last saw!! I almost find it quite funny that I was so needy over one person ( a bit like a bad film! ).

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Originally Posted by Questions2007

9 months to the day. Despite my resistance at the start, and 3 or 4 months of not being myself, I now know this is the best thing I have ever done. I am not the one in control. I am not really that fussed if she ever contacts me anyway, if she does, she will find a very different person than the one she last saw!!! I almost find it quite funny that I was so needy over one person ( a bit like a bad film!!).

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Too hastey! I am the one in control!

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Originally Posted by Questions2007

Too hastey! I am the one in control!!

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Dude sounds good. I guess 9month.. your pretty much moved on.
I thinks the it's the hardest thing for us to achieve.. the rest of us... being the ONE in control!
Cheers dude.

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Originally Posted by flatron

dude sounds good. i guess 9month.. ur pretty much moved on.
i thinks the its the hardest thing for us to achieve.. the rest of us... being the ONE in control!
cheers dude.

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Everyone is different. You will start to reach the ambivalence stage and know when you are getting there. There is no specific time for this, some get there in weeks, some take years. When you do get there you start to see things so much more clearly. That is why NC should always be stuck at, even if at the start it doesn't feel like the right thing.

Aww God. Dude I am one of those guys who takes AGES. I hate it. It messes up my life. And I can't control it.

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Originally Posted by flatron

aww God. dude i am one of those guys who takes AGES. i hate it. it messes up my life. And i can't control it.

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If misery and pain, doesn't motivate change, your in trouble.

Day 16:

Feeling all right, yesterday was pretty good also. The few days before that were a bit rough and I'm sure there are more rough days to come. Day by Day. Finally home from school for the summer which I thought would be nice, but for right now I'm kind of bored which leaves me a lot of time to think.

Next week I'll be working full time, that will take up a lot of my time and not allow me to be bored. I need to unpack, so hopefully that will keep me busy. Also going to look at that motorcycle tonight, so hopefully I'll have a new toy soon :)

Hope everyone else is doing well.

It has been playing on my mind these past few days that I really want to contact her. I'm scared that she has moved on and doesn't think of me, even though it was a mutual agreement to break up.

I miss the phonecalls at night, someone to talk to when something goes wrong as someone else said.. I was thinking after so many months of N/C that I will contact her and ask to take her for a coffee? Then we can talk and see how we're both getting on and see if we both want to break up completely.

I have a strong feeling that she's in the same thinking of me. During the week, when we're alone, we both think of and miss each other - the times that we'd meet up. Our meets during the week was something to look forward to and even though I now have other things to look forward to during the week, nothing compares to her. At the weekend, I don't think much of her and am usually trying to chat up some other pretty lady! But damn I miss her attention so much.

[QUOTE=DazT]It has been playing on my mind these past few days that I really want to contact her. I'm scared that she has moved on and doesn't think of me, even though it was a mutual agreement to break up.

Beware the mind tricks!!

I miss the phonecalls at night, someone to talk to when something goes wrong as someone else said.. I was thinking after so many months of N/C that I will contact her and ask to take her for a coffee? Then we can talk and see how we're both getting on and see if we both want to break up completely.

Is that what you agreed you would do when you split up?

No. We'd broken up a few times before but every time one of us broke contact by a simple phonecall, that would go further to meeting up and then seeing each other again.

I mean, I remember all the really bad stuff about the relationship, but I also remember the really good stuff. I'm just wondering with all this N/C, has the slate been cleaned? I remember how great the relationship was at the start and have started to value the relationship we had more and more but I don't know about her. Has she?

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Originally Posted by DazT

No. We'd broken up a few times before but every time one of us broke contact by a simple phonecall, that would go further to meeting up and then seeing each other again.

I mean, I remember all the really bad stuff about the relationship, but I also remember the really good stuff. I'm just wondering with all this N/C, has the slate been cleaned? I remember how great the relationship was at the start and have started to value the relationship we had more and more but I don't know about her. Has she?

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No one can answer that for you. What I can tell you is that she has not forgotten about you. When people leave such a big impact on our lives they will always be part of our memories.

I think your just at a rough spot and you need to ride it out. Hang in there for a few days and see how your feeling. Maybe it would be good for you to make a list of all the good things vs all the bad things in the relationship and see what list is longer. You admit that you broke up a few times before and acknowledge the problems with your relationship.

All too often we look back and see our exs though so called "rose colored glasses". We overlook all the bad and the things that split us up to begin with because we miss them. We are instantly able to forgive their faults and ignore the problems. Don't fall into this trap...

Day 4 No Contact. Farthest I've been. Class with her today, hope nothing foolish goes down.