For all you who seems to be just starting with NC, and are struggling in the early days/weeks I wanted to post about my status.
I am about a month and a half in (I believe, I never really counted). Trust me when I tell you that it does get better. I can relate to how all of you feel at this point. You still can't accept that it is over, you still want them to call, you are still checking your phone, your email, your voicemails -- praying for a message from them. Don't fret - this is normal.
Soon you will begin to notice a change in your overall mood. You might start to feel a little angry or bitter at your ex. You might start to miss them a little more, but for some reason you aren't very sad about it. Perhaps you will even feel like you need to cry to make yourself feel better but the tears just won't come. Good signs -- all of them. Once your mood changes, you know you are on the right path.
As your mood changes you begin to start making realizations about yourself. You spend more time thinking about yourself, how you feel and what you need to do. All of this helps the process speed up a little bit - it helps you understand what worked and what hasn't worked, and thus you can ensure you do the best you can for yourself.
After a month and a half I have had so many ups and downs that I couldn't even count them. One day you feel like you are over it. You feel so great, so happy - but eventually you will find yourself not feeling so great again. This is where the realizations come in. You will eventually have enough control over your mind to know that you will feel better someday - and when that day comes, your down times are MUCH shorter.
I still think of her every morning, and a few times during the day. The difference you ask? I don't think about her for long periods, and I know exactly what to do to get my mind off her. This is the sort of learning that goes on, and the sort of learning which is crucial to getting over this.
As time goes on, you learn how to control yourself and your mind. You discover that you truly are the only one in control of your future - and that is a GREAT feeling.
