Ask Me Help Desk - Debate on Porn

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Exactly. It's a rape in the fact that it's a stranger, he's barging in, he's forcing himself on you but you're thrilled, know you should resist but you don't want to.

It's very far from an actual rape but it's still considered a rape fantasy.

You've just summarized the plotlines of half the Romance section at Barnes & Noble.

To say nothing of Romeo and Juliette. They both know they should resist but don't want to. Forbidden fruit and all that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by asking

I think it's important to make that distinction. It's easy for some men to justify rape (or at least considering or condoning it) because they think "women secretly want it."

(I wish you had not been raped. :()

I wish it hadn't happened too, but as my mother always said "If wishes were horses then paupers would ride". ;)

It was a long time ago. I was 18. It was a friend of an ex boyfriend and it happened in my house, in my bed, while my parents were away. I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell.

In a twisted sort of a way that rape lead me to where I am now. Actually, it's amazing, if you look back at your life, all the things you regret doing, or having had happen, you'll realize that everything has lead you to now. I like now. Now is good. :)

I can't change it, so I live with it. It's a part of who I am, and I like who I am. It doesn't define me, it's just something that happened to me. There are so many other things that I am, I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor, and I survive every day with my head held high.

I'm also a survivor of child molestation, which was a lot harder to overcome. That was at the hands of my cousin and lasted for years. But still, that doesn't define me. It's a small piece of my past, not a big chunk of my future.

I've overcome a lot of obstacles and I'm here, ready to leap over any obstacle put in my way. No sense sucking my thumb and crying over it, that won't change anything and then I lose. I choose to win.

:)

You forgot I was in the conversation too and your words there sort of just clicked in my mind Alty, I was not stalking!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknown008

You forgot I was in the convo too and your words there sort of just clicked in my mind Alty, I was not stalking!

LOL!

I was just pulling your leg Unky. You know me, I like to tease. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

sucking my thumb
:)

Let me do that for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

Let me do that for you.

:eek: Wrong thread! :eek:

Oh, what the heck. Here it is. :: offers thumb::

FYI, I just picked up dog poo. Sorry. :o

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

LOL!

I was just pulling your leg Unky. You know me, I like to tease. ;)

Yes, I know quite a part of you by now :)

I too was saying that in joke, no worry :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

:eek: Wrong thread! :eek:

Oh, what the heck. Here it is. :: offers thumb::

FYI, I just picked up dog poo. Sorry. :o

T'is okay to suck thumbs here, I allow you to :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknown008

T'is okay to suck thumbs here, I allow you to :D

The moment passed, Unky. Not to worry.

A good friend of mine is very into the whole 'rape fantasy' thing.
She has never done it but very much would like to.
Her and her husband have a very open relationship, they are both allowed to sleep with other people as long as they have permission. She wants her husband to organise a friend of his to sneak into their house and have his way with her.
She doesn't want to know the time, date or person that is doing it, she just wants some sort of indication that it is not real (guy in the mask has a bowtie or something)

I do understand the attraction to it but I personally could never do it.

To add my 2 cents there also seems to be a hell of a lot of confusion when it comes to porn and even fantasies of how far people are willing to go.

Ive been subjected to porn from a young age, and I also don't mind watching porn as shazamataz said but that's where the fantasy stops for lack of better wording.

We have some friends that are into some pretty weird stuff
But whether they would actually go through with them, that's another story entirety!

Oh, well thanks Shazzy and Bahamut! :)

Weird, isn't it how some people want to get raped, and think that is some kind of pleasant thing, or good thing for them, the way I see it anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unknown008

Oh, well thanks Shazzy and Bahamut! :)

Weird, isn't it how some people want to get raped, and think that is some kind of pleasant thing, or good thing for them, the way I see it anyway.

I think it's really a non-alcoholic way of shedding inhibitions. The old "It's not my fault, I was forced to" argument.

Hmm, I think I get your point...

Sort of want it, but not letting everyone else know that 'you' want it because this sort of 'downgrades' 'you', so 'you' look for some excuse to be able to experience it.

Exactly. If you have no choice but to have sex, then you are free to have sex without feeling guilty about it.

A solution to the Puritan attitude of repression.

Phew! I didn't think people had to do this kind of thing anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catsmine

My children were exposed to porn as infants. It was on while they were going to sleep. To this day, it knocks them out faster than a political speech.

?

I'm sorry but I find this disturbing.
If it was anyone else everyone would have jumped all over it.
Exposing children to pornography is a form of child abuse and disgusting.
Infant or not growing minds do not need this exposure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zippit

I'm sorry but I find this disturbing.
If it was anyone else everyone would have jumped all over it.
exposing children to pornography is a form of child abuse and disgusting.
infant or not growing minds do not need this exposure.

What do you find disgusting about naked people making love?

Quote:

Originally Posted by zippit

I'm sorry but I find this disturbing.
If it was anyone else everyone would have jumped all over it.
exposing children to pornography is a form of child abuse and disgusting.
infant or not growing minds do not need this exposure.

Are you thinking that Cats exposed his children to hard core porn?

I was raised with very German parents. In Germany nudity and sex aren't kept in the closet like they are in the States and Canada. Because of this most teens aren't that eager to have sex, because it's not something mysterious that has been hidden from them all their lives.

It's a lot like alcohol. The legal drinking age in Germany is 14 (not the hard stuff, but beer, wine etc) and because of this early exposure most teens get it out of their system by the time they're 18.

So let me ask you a question.

I don't run and hide if I'm naked and my 11 year old son is coming into my room. It's my body, there's nothing to be ashamed about. If he's uncomfortable with it then he knows not to come into my room when I'm just out of the shower or changing.

He isn't uncomfortable with it, because he grew up with it. After all, we all have a body, and underneath our clothing we're all naked. Because of this he's not one of those children that needs to make it his life mission to see a girl naked. A lot of people think that I'm wrong, that I should quickly cover myself if my son happens to walk in while I'm naked. Why, so I can teach him that the naked body is a scary thing? I don't think so.

No, I don't let my kids watch porn, nor do I invite them into the bedroom when my husband and I are having sex, but, if they have questions, I answer them. I'd rather they hear it from me then their friends that think that babies come from storks or the cabbage patch. Misinformation is the reason we have so many teens posting on AMHD about pregnancy and other sexually related things that should be common knowledge.

I have a video tape of my daughter being born. Around 2 years ago, when my son was 9 and my daughter was 5, I was watching the tape. We were going through our videos to put them on an actual video tape and I got all nostalgic when I saw the birth video, sat down to watch. My son walked in, I paused the tape. Not because I was ashamed, but because I thought it might upset him. I had an episiotomy and there was a lot of blood.

I told him what the video was, that it may scare him and that it was his choice to watch or not. He called his sister in. I told her the same thing. They decided to watch and I sat back with my hand on the remote ready to stop if they found it too disturbing. They loved it. They found it amazing. To this day they ask to see it every once in a while. My son is actually upset that we don't have a video of him being born. We didn't have a camera then. :(

Am I a bad parent? What's your opinion?