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-   -   The NC Calendar III (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=255006)

  • Sep 14, 2008, 11:18 AM
    Boristheblade
    The time it will take for me to get over my ex will be longer than our actual relationship. That's quite--sad.
  • Sep 15, 2008, 07:51 AM
    joderik
    This morning with be my starting date - its so hard right now. I'm at work and all I can do is think of him. I can't get anything accomplished. Just thought I'd join this thread for support. It gives me hope after reading everyone's post that it gets better as time passes.
  • Sep 15, 2008, 10:58 AM
    Dare81
    Hi guyz and girls,
    I have been hanging out here for a while, decided to post, here is my story, nine years ago I started dating my ex, I was a freshman at college and had recently moved to the U.S( did not have any family here). She was basically the closet thing to family that I had here. Long story short we dated for 6 years and broke up about 2 and a half years ago.I hung around for a year and a half waiting for her to come bak, I would call every day send her flowers on valentine day and on her birthday even though we were not going out.SHe would not retun my calls at first but eventually she started calling me too every night telling me how her day went. We did that for about a year( she was messing around with other people while we were still talking to eah other).6 months ago she asked if I wanted to do the dating thing again. I jumped at the opportunity. We started talking about marriage, and I was planing to propose in about a month. She calls me 4 days ago saying she that she doesn't know if it is going to work betwenn us. I told I was willing to compromise on a lot of stuff that we had problems with. But I guess it wasn't enough for her. SHe said she couldn't do it anymore. I tried to convivnce her otherwise. Didn't work. Now she is gong. I feel this empty void. I am very sad, usually cry a couple of times a day. But the funny thing like last time I don't have the urge to call her. For some odd reason I am missiong something but its not her. Its hard to explain. I haven't had any contat with her fir the last 2 days. It hurts a lot.I hope it gets better with time. I really do
  • Sep 15, 2008, 11:01 AM
    Dare81
    Should have used spell check, my bad
  • Sep 15, 2008, 01:19 PM
    bigbird213
    You are missing what she was, or what you thought she was, and not who she is. That is a good thing, though it may not seem to be. You can use that as motivation to move on from her, since she is not what you want anyway -- and begin looking to the future to find what it is you want, and what it is that makes you truly happy...
  • Sep 15, 2008, 01:37 PM
    Dare81
    Nine years of my life wasted. I guess that's why it hurts. We share the same phone plan too so I would have to talk to her about getting my name off the plan.Thats the last thing I want to do right now is talk to her, will probably bring back all the memories. Any ideas on how to deal with this
  • Sep 15, 2008, 01:41 PM
    bigbird213
    First off - none of that time was wasted time. Everything you do in life is a learning experience. All of the time you spent together helped to shape and mold you into who you are now, that's hardly a waste of time.

    As far as the phone plan goes - if you are worried about talking to her on the phone or in person about it, perhaps you can write an email or a letter. That way you can keep it very professional, impersonal, and plan out what you write rather than having to think on your toes and watch what you say...
  • Sep 15, 2008, 01:49 PM
    Dare81
    Thought of this, but don't you think it might look a little strange. When she ended the relationship we both agreed we would be friend( I don't know why I agreed). I know for a fact that I could probably never be just her friend. So I really don't know how to approach this, an email or a letter might just come off childish or immaturish..
  • Sep 15, 2008, 01:58 PM
    Dare81
    I am also very confused. Mostly everbody on this forum has an urge to call their ex.Why is that I am not feeling it,(atleast not as strongly as I should)?? Even though I am really hurt and have to deal with these massive mood swings
  • Sep 15, 2008, 08:54 PM
    hjpan
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Dare81
    I am also very confused. Mostly everbody on this forum has an urge to call thier ex.Why is that i am not feeling it,(atleast not as strongly as i should)??? even though i am really hurt and have to deal with these massive mood swings


    Bro~
    Don't sweat it. I had the urge to call my ex, but it lessened to the point where I don't care if she called me or not. Yes, 9 years has been wasted... but look at other users... hjpan (me), romefalls, bigbird, boris etc. all suffered the same thing!

    Guess what? It gets a bit better later on :D!
    Right now, I got few girls who want to hook up with me :)! Two of them have already said "I love you" to me~

    Just takes time.. which is hard
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:09 PM
    NorthernNiceGuy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Dare81
    Thought of this, but dont you think it might look a lil strange. When she ended the relationship we both agreed we would be friend( i dont know why i agreed). I know for a fact that i could probally never be just her friend. So i really dont know how to approach this, an email or a letter might just come off childish or immaturish..

    Well I wouldn't contact her at all regarding that matter... if she makes it a point of trying to talk to you as a friend, than just tell her simply that you were wrong and that you can't be her friend right now... there is no point in going out of your way to tell her this, it will look as you said... childish..

    Also it's not really weird that you don't want to contact her. While I was miserable, I would never contact her first ever. It was always in response to her (which I should have ignored). But who really cares why, just be thankful that you don't have the urge to call her.
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:11 PM
    Dare81
    Thanks. The problem I am having is that I Don't have the urge to call her, even though I can fell the pain.I thought this was strange.Minds playing tricks on me
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:13 PM
    Dare81
    Thanks a lot guyz. This really help.Day 3 of NC is almost over.
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:14 PM
    NorthernNiceGuy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Dare81
    Thanks. The problem i am having is that I DONT have the urge to call her, even though i can fell the pain.I thought this was strange.Minds playing tricks on me

    Haha I think that's what I wrote.. . that I didn't have the urge to call her either...
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:16 PM
    Dare81
    Didn't see that sorry. As you said just be happy that I don't have the urge.
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:18 PM
    NorthernNiceGuy
    Haha no problem my friend
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:24 PM
    Dare81
    I really don't want to talk to her about getting my name of the bills that we had together, I guess I will have to though.
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:26 PM
    NorthernNiceGuy
    Yea, well that's something that you can't really avoid... get it over with though as soon and as fast as you can.
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:27 PM
    hjpan
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Dare81
    I really dont wanna talk to her about getting my name of the bills that we had together, i guess i will have to though.

    Forget the name.

    Just cross it out.
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:30 PM
    Dare81
    Still can't get over it 9 years.thats one third of my whole life

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