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Originally Posted by DazT

She text me first thing in the morning after that night (it was Wednesday night).. she told me she regretted nothing and that she meant everything she said on Wednesday night. But since Thursday.. she has made no effort to talk to me or make any contact so at the minute we haven't talked since Thursday. BUT, she had a casual boyfriend on Wednesday night and I've been told since that they have broken up.

She's back in my head again after I thought I had gotten over her.. *sigh*.

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I thought not talking to them made things hard but it's TALKING to them that can really affect the healing process. My ex finally decided to message me saying he cares (about the miscarriage I assume) and he didn't think things would get so out of control and he doesn't know what to do etc etc. I decided to be mature and not make him feel terrible like I wanted so I gave him a time and place to meet me so we could talk and told him he better be there, he didn't reply but he got the message.Waited for like an hour---no show. Got home, "thanked" him for standing me up. He said he never agreed to meet and I'm not ready to meet him face to face. I told him I was ready to see him when I lost our baby because my only priority then was getting through it. He ignored me. I feel as depressed as I did the day we broke up... :(

Well. Now you know.

First, he gives you this idea of him needing you... needing to talk, etc.

Then, you finally decide to help him out.

... then, he stands you up, and tells YOU that he's not ready to talk.

... really? He's being selfish about this? c'monnnnn.

You tried. Done deal. If he wants to talk, he can contact you... and even then, I'm not so sure you should give him a chance.

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

well. now you know.

first, he gives you this idea of him needing you...needing to talk, etc.

then, you finally decide to help him out.

...then, he stands you up, and tells YOU that he's not ready to talk.

...really? he's being selfish about this? c'monnnnn.

you tried. done deal. if he wants to talk, he can contact you...and even then, I'm not so sure you should give him a chance.

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Thank you xx I couldn't agree more I was JUST thinking that If he decided he wanted to talk to me I'm not sure I even would I am just sick of him and his selfishness. He didn't even say he's not ready to talk HE told ME that I'M not ready to see him and that "I know it". It's just disappointing, just as I was realising that he is not at all a horrible person and that he's just never really been taught better and he is very childish and doesn't understand the impact his words/actions have on others, I get a message from him which I feel confirms it, and he's gone back to acting as though I don't exist. SIGH- SO.HURTFUL. I hate myself for still being in love with someone that does this to me.

I don't want to go into what happened, but it suffices to say that I am hurt and feeling pissed off. Even though we complicated things a few weekends ago, I've put it aside and tried to be a friend. I've been really nice, cordial, and considerate, which is a turn for me in contrast to interactions with my past bfs/exes. So why the hell is he treating me like sh*t? I break NC because he explicitly asks me to do a favor that I promised to do a while back. Plenty of time and energy goes into this favor, and I don't even get a measly thanks. I text him to make sure he got the thing. No response.

I know that I'm not supposed to act out of spite, but if he's going to act like an , I'm going to be "mean" and "insensitive" (his words) and give him a taste of his own medicine.

My patience has run out.

Well stay in that room and don't coem out till u've learned something!

Hmmm. Oops. He just replied with thanks. Nevertheless, am staying in the room.

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Originally Posted by jiltedgirl

I don't want to go into what happened, but it suffices to say that I am hurt and feeling pissed off. Even though we complicated things a few weekends ago, I've put it aside and tried to be a friend. I've been really nice, cordial, and considerate, which is a turn for me in contrast to interactions with my past bfs/exes. So why the hell is he treating me like sh*t? I break NC because he explicitly asks me to do a favor that I promised to do a while back. Plenty of time and energy goes into this favor, and I don't even get a measly thanks. I text him to make sure he got the thing. No response.

I know that I'm not supposed to act out of spite, but if he's gonna act like an , I'm going to be "mean" and "insensitive" (his words) and give him a taste of his own medicine.

My patience has run out.

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Cut ties and change your number.

Oh j.

... oh j.

You doing OK?

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Originally Posted by hjpan

2 months after break up..

I've been working out more often... pushing my muscles until they are so sore I can't lift any more weights..

I've been talking to advanced schooling program and I am 100% looking at it.

Anyways, I called my ex-gf's mom the day after the earthquake struck Los Angeles and all the way to parts of San Diego & Las Vegas.. we talked for a bit and she asked me for my sisters' phone which I gave out. But, the mom did say that my ex rarely talks and hangs out with some friends which was it. Her mom also said that my ex has not been dating anyone else; she questions me if I have been dating other girls or if I had a new girlfriend and I told her I have no time for a girlfriend right now.

I also told her that I'm going to be working out and study for a whole year.. When I finish schooling, I'll join the Army next summer and go through training. Then I'll go back to college and study while work.. by then, I'll graduate with a degree and earning money while my ex is wondering for a job.

That's pretty much my whole life after I got banned... LoL

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Hey hjpan. Dude I like your plan. I was in the army for 9 years. Depending on the job you pick in the army do not expect to have time to take a significant number of college classes. If you want to do college in the military I suggest staying away from infantry, artillery or any other combat arms jobs. I would also keep away from engineering or mechanics. For going to school the best jobs that allow time for college are the clerical types.

OK guys... if you remember... I mentioned awhile back that I would go skydiving as part of my putting an end to this whole bu bs... I went two days ago with 7 of my friends, one of them being the girl I have been seeing for 2 months post break up... I m definitely doing better than earlier. She keeps me focus on her even though I still have feelings for my ex, but having her in my life has made a tremendous difference. I don't know how ty my summer would be without this new gal... anyway hope you are all doing well. Ttyl

Does anyone else's emotions come in waves? Its been... jesus... 4 months since me and the ex broke up (I didn't even realise it had been that long). I thought I was over her up until a few days ago, but the past few days things have been worse than they've been for a while. Except this time I'm genuinely missing her (as her, and not my girlfriend, if that makes sense), rather than feeling depressed or betrayed etc. I don't know whether that's part of this grieving process or not.

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

oh j.

...oh j.

you doing ok?

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Lol

Oh J xD

I'm doing alright~

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Originally Posted by f104

Hey hjpan. Dude I like your plan. I was in the army for 9 years. Depending on the job you pick in the army do not expect to have time to take a significant number of college classes. If you want to do college in the military I suggest staying away from infantry, artillery or any other combat arms jobs. I would also keep away from engineering or mechanics. For going to school the best jobs that allow time for college are the clerical types.

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Haha xD

Thanks bro :)

I actually am looking at mental health therapist... I'm a psych major :)

Hjpan mental health therapist would be a good choice. When I first started in the military I was a respitory therapist. Medical field should allow your time for school. Just make sure you do not end up as a combat medic in a combat arms unit.

Ahem... I'm doing FINE. Let me just put that out there lol...

Glad to hear everyone seems to be doing fine... Keep going, it gets better :)

A little more than three months one, I'm feeling good. Don't have down time anymore really. Going back to school soon for the final year, sucks a little bit since I know I'll be bored. But I'm upset more about not having as mnuch fun at school than being lonely/missing her. Those days seem to be gone now :)

Keep it up everyone

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Originally Posted by f104

Hjpan mental health therapist would be a good choice. When I first started in the military I was a respitory therapist. Medical field should allow your time for school. Just make sure you do not end up as a combat medic in a combat arms unit.

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I've also thought of jump school too =/

This thread is dead.. lol

So, I found out my ex deleted me from Facebook which is all right cause I'm going to study and work as well as joining the military. Hopefully, I'll fly to her parents' place and get my stuff as well as trash her room.

It sounds childish but she's being a 8itch and won't return my books I lend her.

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Originally Posted by hjpan

This thread is dead.. lol

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This is a good sign!! This means that at present (keyword: present), we don't need the forum and hopefully we're doing OK. :)

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Originally Posted by hjpan

So, I found out my ex deleted me from facebook which is alright cause I'm going to study and work as well as joining the military. Hopefully, I'll fly to her parents' place and get my stuff as well as trash her room.

It sounds childish but she's being a 8itch and won't return my books I lend her.

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Eeek. hjpan, as much as it seems as though trashing her room would make things better, it won't. She may be a b----, but don't stoop to her level. If this is how she deals with things, then just let her be. Her loss. It seems like you were close to her parents. If she won't give you your books, maybe you can ask her parents to mail them to you.

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Originally Posted by jiltedgirl

This is a good sign!!! This means that at present (keyword: present), we don't need the forum and hopefully we're doing ok. :)



Eeek. hjpan, as much as it seems as though trashing her room would make things better, it won't. She may be a b----, but don't stoop to her level. If this is how she deals with things, then just let her be. Her loss. It seems like you were close to her parents. If she won't give you your books, maybe you can ask her parents to mail them to you.

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But NC calender is the life of AMHD Dating/Relationships xD

Hmmm... I want to trash her place cause she deserves some sense knocked into her that she's messing with the wrong person. I guess I shouldn't stoop to her level.. LoL
Well, I am close with her mom... I called her the day after the earthquake struck LA to San Diego to Las vegas and we talked for 10-20mins. She asked me if I have a girlfriend and I said I didn't; she said my ex isn't dating anyone and she's quiet =/

Oh well... I'll just call her mom again and tell her I want my stuff back and I'll mail her letters back :O

Okay, heard from the ex for the first time in 4 months yesterday. She texted me saying we need to meet up to close a joint bank account which we had together. I have NO idea how to act with this; I know I should be civil to her, but after what she did I want to give it to her with both barrels. Its weird, you think you're over them, then something like this comes up and you're right back in the thick of it again. Anyone else been in a similar situation? I'm completely stumped.

Handle your business in a professional manner, and get back to your life, and leave the drama for the soaps. If you can't, let her deal with it her way.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Handle your business in a professional manner, and get back to your life, and leave the drama for the soaps. If you can't, let her deal with it her way.

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Easier said than done.

My ex decides to cut ties with me.. so I'm dragging her mom into getting my stuff back

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Originally Posted by hjpan

Easier said than done.

My ex decides to cut ties with me.. so I'm dragging her mom into getting my stuff back

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But they decided to be 8itch about it and not return my stuff

I told my ex's mom that her daughter is a liar and trash.
I told my ex that she won't succeed in the future if she keeps going on living her life.

So, I won't get stuff back~ But I do plan on ruining my ex's life cause there's cause and consequence.

"There is a possibility that someone could fall in love over the internet.
I met my ex-boyfriend through this site. We lasted about 14 to 15 months. During that time we each visited each other in San Diego, CA and Sarasota, FL.
Though many relationships are different mine was more of a mutual. I thought I loved the guy but in reality I never did, that's why I ended the relationship.
But there is a possibility, in my opinion anyways."

That what she wrote.. LoL

That's bs HJ, if she never loved you why the hell was she with you for 15 months? Where did you find this, if you don't mind me asking? It seems odd that she would write that unless she was specifically trying to make a point, most likely aiming it at you. You're better off without that woman by the sounds of it bud.

Regarding ruining her life, I know exactly what you mean; but what goes around comes around, it always does, so there's no need to do anything. I met with my ex today for the first time in God knows how long. In the run up to this I've had thoughts of what I was going to say and do, most of which involved saying something really nasty about her or her new boyfriend. But when I saw her today, something happened and I suddenly became cheerful, and couldn't help but tell her about all the good things that have happened recently (without sounding like that's what I was trying to do). She then proceeded to tell me that breaking up with me was a bad decision. I played it cool. Me-1, her-0. As they say "living well is the best revenge".

As you may have noticed I'm in that brief happy stage you get after contacting the ex, before the depression kicks in a few days later. Whoopy!

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Originally Posted by jammyb

Thats bs HJ, if she never loved you why the hell was she with you for 15 months? Where did you find this, if you dont mind me asking? It seems odd that she would write that unless she was specifically trying to make a point, most likely aiming it at you. You're better off without that woman by the sounds of it bud.

Regarding ruining her life, i know exactly what u mean; but what goes around comes around, it always does, so theres no need to do anything. I met with my ex today for the first time in God knows how long. In the run up to this I've had thoughts of what I was gonna say and do, most of which involved saying something really nasty about her or her new bf. But when i saw her today, something happened and I suddenly became cheerful, and couldnt help but tell her about all the good things that have happened recently (without sounding like thats what i was trying to do). She then proceeded to tell me that breaking up with me was a bad decision. I played it cool. Me-1, her-0. As they say "living well is the best revenge".

As you may have noticed im in that brief happy stage you get after contacting the ex, before the depression kicks in a few days later. Whoopy!

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When I first saw that, I felt like crap but I realized I didn't do anything wrong except we argued over issues. I found her post on another public forum about internet relationships/online relationships/long-distance. I totally agree that I'm better off that 8itch xD.

*sigh* It just frustrates me that her mother flatters me a lot.. But now I realize this is all a joke. My ex is using her family as a shield to get me away from her..

I told her mom and the ex that I won't be surprised to see them in destitute as well as the ex getting pregnant and the boyfriend running off...

well.. I got part of my anger off my chest...

Well my ex texted me again yesterday nearly two weeks since our night of romance (if that's what you'd call it).. I didn't text back until today..

We chatted about some stuff, (we actually did a bit of flirting).. then I told her I was going away and I'd text her later.. a few hours later I text her.. but she was with her friend (when she's with her friend it's hard to talk to her, never mind text her) so I told her I was going to bed.

What should I do next? Wait for her to text me again or make contact first this time? I like talking to her and I know we can't get back together but she still is the girl that is mostly on my mind and I wouldn't mind meeting with her.

I don't know what her intentions are.. we bumped into each other on a night out (the place was crawling with sexy girls and probably boys but we both ended up with each other all night), she told me she still loved me.. we got it on and then we text each other the next day. And then we didn't hear from each other until she text me out of the blue yesterday to find out how I've been?

Forget her intentions... what are yours? What are you trying to accomplish by talking to her and hanging out with her? Are you trying to be her friend? If so, are you ready for the "I found someone" talk?

My intentions? I don't know.. it seems to me that neither of us are over each other.. and we aren't exactly friends..

It's obvious to me that she's missing me.. and I'm missing her. I'm so confused!

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Originally Posted by DazT

My intentions? I don't know.. it seems to me that neither of us are over each other.. and we aren't exactly friends..

It's obvious to me that she's missing me.. and I'm missing her. I'm so confused!

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Of course. You don't know what or who you want; she doesn't know what or who she wants.

I am just about over my ex.. It just hurts me sometimes to see her flirting with my best friend. She exclaims that it isn't flirting.. But everyone knows it is. She keeps having cheap goes at me. She keeps attacking me for what I've said in the past.. It's irritating to say the least. The next time she has a go at me, I'll most likely retatiliate (Not physically of course.)

But anyway I'm holding up just great, what about you's?

HJ

I had exactly the same problem, but I can tell you that when I had contact with my ex and we were both missing each other, it just confused the hell out of me.

You miss her, she misses you, so your prob thinking why aren't we together then?

That's what I thought. But after some crappy back and forth round in circles BS, the only way it could go was back to NC.

Mainly because she ended it, and whilst I wanted to get back together I don't think she really wanted it enough, so we parted, yet again.

My advice, is go with NC and stay away from the drama and confusion because it really hurts the head!

I'm on day 4 of NC, and whilst I drove past her last night, we were both in cars (she was with a bloke) that doesn't count and I'm moving on as I know it's the only way to go.

I suggest you do the same. If she contacts you go from there, but don't wait and don't contact her as it will only cause you grief and mental anguish. Been there done that and got the t shirt - don't want it again!

Well said JP.

The NC is easier said than done for the first week or so. After about 2 weeks it it's a hell of a lot easier, in fact in my situation I only text her a couple of times after we broke up. Than again she got with someone else (she confirmed that when I saw her the other day), so I knew it was over the moment it was"over" and didn't really hang on. When you mentioned seeing her in a car with another bloke JP, I think (and ladies correct me if I'm wrong here) women find it a lot easier to find someone else than men. Its never nice to see the love of your life devoting their attention to some other chump. It happens though and we have to live with it.

NC is the way forward. When deep down you know its over, its over, so why drag it out? There's no point trying to be friends or meeting up to see how each other is or even getting pointless belongings back (unless they're really worth something).

Technically I'm on day 2 of NC (as I had to meet her for the first time in 4 months to sort out finances), though I don't really count this as we had to do it, and I desparately tried to get out of it, to no avail. Weirdly though, I'm feeling pretty good despite her confirmation of being with this other guy, and that they're going away together. Than again she somehow knew I was going out with someone else for two months after the breakup, so I had a sick sense of pleasure. "He scores the equalizer!"

Stick with it guys

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Originally Posted by jpm247

HJ

i had exactly the same problem, but i can tell you that when i had contact with my ex and we were both missing each other, it just confused the hell out of me.

you miss her, she misses you, so your prob thinking why aren't we together then?

thats what i thought. but after some crappy back and forth round in circles BS, the only way it could go was back to NC.

mainly because she ended it, and whilst i wanted to get back together i don't think she really wanted it enough, so we parted, yet again.

my advice, is go with NC and stay away from the drama and confusion cos it really hurts the head!

im on day 4 of NC, and whilst i drove past her last nite, we were both in cars (she was with a bloke) that doesnt count and im moving on as i know its the only way to go.

I suggest you do the same. if she contacts you go from there, but don't wait and don't contact her as it will only cause you grief and mental anguish. been there done that and got the t shirt - don't want it again!

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Thank you :)
The NC is actually a lot easier cause my ex changed her phone number and acts like a 8itch now. I told her that she's not going to be successful and if she is in trouble, don't come crying to me.

Recently, I'm just as confused about myself... either a relationship + sex or promiscuity =/
Sure, there is a 15 year old girl who lives in Texas admitted that she likes me..
There's a 17 year old girl who lives about 15min drive away from me..
and yada yada yada...

It's so hard to keep track what I should do =/

Well, the last time I saw her was on Tuesday when she moved the rest of her stuff out of my apartment. I haven't spoken to her since. So the day count is 5. My fingers are starting to itch, but I feel like I will be strong enough to stand my ground. It's tough, and depressing knowing I may never experience anything with her again, but I'm starting to believe that it might be for the best.

Here is my background story:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ectedly+dumped

Well I don't know what I was talking about earlier.. I'm such a walkover for her. Watching my friend dumping his girlfriend after she cheated on him and then seeing him all over her every time she wants him reminds me of me.. and how stupid I was (and still are kind of being).

I've realised that my ex is having problems with her new boyfriend.. they fall out and she comes running back to me and starts texting me. They make up and she shows no interest.

What a mug I am. But no more - I managed to get over my ex after 5 or 6 months.. we do a stupid thing what night and there she is - right back in my head. But after a great weekend and realising what a mug me and my friend are.. I'm going to get her out of my head because she is only a silly little immature girl who does not know who or what she wants. And when she falls out with her boyfriend, she wants me.. but I won't want her.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DazT

Well I don't know what I was talking about earlier.. I'm such a walkover for her. Watching my friend dumping his girlfriend after she cheated on him and then seeing him all over her every time she wants him reminds me of me.. and how stupid I was (and still are kind of being).

I've realised that my ex is having problems with her new boyfriend.. they fall out and she comes running back to me and starts texting me. They make up and she shows no interest.

What a mug I am. But no more - I managed to get over my ex after 5 or 6 months.. we do a stupid thing what night and there she is - right back in my head. But after a great weekend and realising what a mug me and my friend are.. I'm going to get her out of my head because she is only a silly little immature girl who does not know who or what she wants. And when she falls out with her boyfriend, she wants me.. but I won't want her.

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If she contacts you, keep telling her you're busy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DazT

Well I don't know what I was talking about earlier.. I'm such a walkover for her. Watching my friend dumping his girlfriend after she cheated on him and then seeing him all over her every time she wants him reminds me of me.. and how stupid I was (and still are kind of being).

I've realised that my ex is having problems with her new boyfriend.. they fall out and she comes running back to me and starts texting me. They make up and she shows no interest.

What a mug I am. But no more - I managed to get over my ex after 5 or 6 months.. we do a stupid thing what night and there she is - right back in my head. But after a great weekend and realising what a mug me and my friend are.. I'm going to get her out of my head because she is only a silly little immature girl who does not know who or what she wants. And when she falls out with her boyfriend, she wants me.. but I won't want her.

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Well done! You sond really strong :)


I am in a predicament, I met up to talk to my ex the other, well more to have a go at him really, and we talked for hours and he apologised for everything and promised to be there for me now and do anything to make it right... so I said we could be friends and I'd let him support me, but then he took me out, and I drank, and we kissed a LOT and hugged and stuff and things were said... I couldn't take him back after what he's done and he doesn't want a girlfriend... but I AM still in love with him.. so maybe letting him support me isn't for the best? And actually NC is? :confused: x

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Originally Posted by Boristheblade

Well done! You sond really strong :)


I am in a predicament, I met up to talk to my ex the other, well more to have a go at him really, and we talked for hours and he apologised for everything and promised to be there for me now and do anything to make it right... so I said we could be friends and I'd let him support me, but then he took me out, and I drank, and we kissed a LOT and hugged and stuff and things were said... I couldnt take him back after what he's done and he doesnt want a gf... but I AM still in love with him..so maybe letting him support me isn't for the best?? and actually NC is? :confused: x

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It seems you already know what's best for you. It's hard to try to go the friends route when you're still in love with someone. No one said it was going to be easy.

Best of luck,
J