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Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

The past few days have been tough for some reason... i dont know why but i just want to talk to her... maybe its because its spring break and i know she's in town... or its just another rough patch in this bipolar break-up syndrome...

*sigh* i thought i was doing so good, i had a girl tell me that she loved me last week, and it didn't really do much for me. it was nice to hear, but i just dont feel the same way... mostly because we only hung out 4 times... but goodness, i thought i was really getting over her! psh... i hate this bs.

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Hahaha. That's a good way to put it: "bi-polar break-up syndrome." -_- Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing well and don't you forget it. You've made a lot of process, and when you get annoyed with yourself or preoccupied with those inconvenient feelings, just concentrate on the positive. :cool:

I had the syndrome this past weekend, although I'm slowly returning to normal thank LORD.
I'm looking forward to my European excursion this Spring Break, starting for me at the end of this week. Woooot.

i'm on day 23 of NC

One month :-) and still alive

hey umm would contacting the brother of my ex to ask a question (wii friend code =) )be considered breaking the NC?

I would like to think "breaking nc" is contacting the ex...

However, if you're contacting the brother of the ex... in hopes that somehow she'll hear that you called... or maybe if she'll pick up... or contact you in return in some way, I would consider that breaking nc.

Really, if you're doing this so that she'll somehow be tied into it... then don't kid yourself. If not, and you're contacting him strictly for the codes, then why not?

Nc isn't something that's supposed to tie you down... it's kind of like a diet. The more you stick to it, the faster and more efficient results will follow. You break it every now and then... and it will hurt, and just might make results take a bit longer.

Oh all right ^_^. I'm glad. It was an IM to her brother and when I IMed him, I was really hoping that she wasn't home.. and that she wasn't near the computer. Although what made me think is that... there was no response on the AIM and suddenly logged off.. I fear that it was her and if it was I thought I just broke the NC

I'm on my 7th and its really hard trying not to do anything but its killing me

Sonia... Don't worry, the first 2 weeks are really hard! It was one of the hardest things to do in my life, but looking where I am now as compared to where I was(check my older posts and see how bad I was) I feel so much better. I am hanging out with friends, meeting new people, new girls in my life and just living life how I want to. What I did was make a CONs list about your ex, this way whenever you feel the need to contact them... Read that list and it goes away. Trust me after 2 weeks, it starts to get better

BTW... I'm on day 97:-D

Wow that's great, I like your cons list that way you never forget what they did to you, thanks for the advice will do that

3 months of no DIRECT contact... (YAYA) not doing so well with his best friend... we have spoken every month since the break up... yikes

It's been 4 days for me of NC. We broke up about a week and a half ago. It's been tough getting over him. My emotions are all over the place and it makes me feel sick when I think of what he might be up to or what his feelings are.

Deleting his number off my phone helped. And I deleted his room mates number also. I not only blocked him on myspace... but I also cancelled my account and blocked the whole website on my computer (his page is public). Im just trying to make it harder for myself to contact him. We didn't really hang out w/ the same group of friends, we don't work together or even live near each other, so I guess that's a good thing.

I know that I don't want to know what's going on in his life or how he's feeling. It would just make me hurt more, no matter how curious I am. Of course, I always get the urge to contact. I keep thinking up new things that I want to ask him or tell him. But I just try to remember that as good as it might sound in my head at the time, I'll just end up regreting it in the end. Not only will I be appearing weak to him, but more importantly to myself.

I know this is for the better. I just wish it wasn't so hard!

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Originally Posted by Chameleon24

It's been 4 days for me of NC. We broke up about a week and a half ago. It's been tough getting over him. My emotions are all over the place and it makes me feel sick when I think of what he might be up to or what his feelings are.

Deleting his number off my phone helped. And I deleted his room mates number also. I not only blocked him on myspace...but I also cancelled my account and blocked the whole website on my computer (his page is public). Im just trying to make it harder for myself to contact him. We didnt really hang out w/ the same group of friends, we dont work together or even live near each other, so I guess thats a good thing.

I know that i dont want to know what's going on in his life or how he's feeling. It would just make me hurt more, no matter how curious i am. Of course, i always get the urge to contact. i keep thinking up new things that i want to ask him or tell him. But i just try to remember that as good as it might sound in my head at the time, i'll just end up regreting it in the end. Not only will i be appearing weak to him, but more importantly to myself.

I know this is for the better. I just wish it wasnt so hard!

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Hang in there sweetie... I know how much it sucks but you sound strong. The pain won't last forever it just seems like that now. Keep busy and stay close to those who love you.
Best of luck to you... smile even when is tough to do so

It's day 4.5 for me since the breakup and it's been NC. I will not contact him, but I still really wish I could talk to him. Ugh, so bad.

I'm so glad I found this forum because none of my friends understand. They either say "It'll take a week. Give it two weeks and you'll be fine." or they say "Yeah, it's like losing a best friend."
... No, it's actually losing my boyfriend of 3.5 years, the person who I shared my life with.
It's nice to finally be understood and find some support, even if it is from people whose faces I can't see.

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Originally Posted by Chameleon24

I know that i dont want to know what's going on in his life or how he's feeling. It would just make me hurt more, no matter how curious i am. Of course, i always get the urge to contact. i keep thinking up new things that i want to ask him or tell him. But i just try to remember that as good as it might sound in my head at the time, i'll just end up regreting it in the end. Not only will i be appearing weak to him, but more importantly to myself.

I know this is for the better. I just wish it wasnt so hard!

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I am going through the same thing. If it's any consolation, you're not going through this alone.

Keep yourself busy with your friends/family or do things you enjoy like read novels. I'm at day 40 of NC, never thought I could make it this far. If I can reach day 40, I'm sure you all can too!

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Originally Posted by jamimama

It's day 4.5 for me since the breakup and it's been NC. I will not contact him, but I still really wish I could talk to him. Ugh, so bad.

I'm so glad I found this forum because none of my friends understand. They either say "It'll take a week. Give it two weeks and you'll be fine." or they say "Yeah, it's like losing a best friend."
...No, it's actually losing my boyfriend of 3.5 years, the person who I shared my life with.
It's nice to finally be understood and find some support, even if it is from people whose faces I can't see.

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You are so right, friends don't understand or they get sick of hearing about it. I think it feels like a death. When my boyfriend left I grieved just like he had died.

And this forum is a life saver. It's the only reason I think I kept my sanity, Well most of it anyway LOL!

I definitely have to agree with the current sentiment. It has been almost 6 months NC for me. And although some things are easier, it still feels like there is an open wound. (And like a sore tooth or a bruise, I keep poking it!)

2 weeks. Ha! Lol.

I have been doing total n/c for 2 weeks after we broke up almost 3 months ago and then started sleeping together again. Anyway the dumb thing was is that last week I was stranded at the Airport after my ph battery died and his was the only number I knew off by heart so I called him off someone else's ph and asked him to call my sister to come and get me... it all ended with a text from him later saying he hoped I got home OK and that he loved that he could still be my hero!! Toatally messed with my head and now has me thinking about him again heaps, I am so close to txting him but no I have to be strong esp after I have been so good already for 2 weeks I am sure I can keep on, it is amazing how just that little bit of contact can bring it all up again!

Hi people. I am so glad I found this thread.

My boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me March 19. The first week after, I was a wreck.. texting, calling.. all that crap. He said he still loves me but it's for the best, blah blah.

We had an awkward post break-up talk in which I told him why we should be together and he just cried and cried and said no.. He still thinks this is for the best.

Two days later I call him (I know, I know) and tell him I think he's confused and needs space. He doesn't disagree.. and I tell him that we shouldn't talk for a while.

He says "How long?" So I say about a month? I mean.. is that?

Then I make it to the end of the week and there is a mix-up in which he thinks I called him (I didn't... but it turns out my friend was trying to delete his number from my phone and accidentally did.. at about 4:30.) Anyway, he called me back ONE HOUR later.. (I didn't answer.) I waited the next day to text and ask "Why did you call? Unless you know what you want, we aren't supposed to talk." And he said, "ok no talking."

Then, losing my control I texted "And if you already know, don't play this game." I feel so dumb for writing that to him, because now, since he said NOTHING back.. I'm like does this mean! But since then, it's been no contact. Basically a whole week (doesn't sound like a lot.. but feels like hell.)

I hate to admit I have some hope due to his weird behavior, but I feel a bit better reading through here and realizing I'm not alone and that I WILL BE OK, either way..

Thanks for reading all of this. (If you did.)

Don't be so hard on yourself... we've all sent that text we wish we didn't, sent that email, made that call... we've all done that stupid thing. So forgive yourself and keep trying to move on... don't expect anything from him when this month is over...

My ex said that we'd talk about a relationship this summer... yet I sent an angry email after I find out that she was emotionally cheating on me. And I pretty much ended up breaking the "break" she wanted. So yeah, don't expect a miracle, as most "breaks" are for good.