Well I guess I will join the club. Its been 4 days now of NC with my ex.. Been a rough weekend because we were supposed to go to a ball together and I had a tux rented and ready to go before everything fell through.She was at her little event all weekend while I was at home crying myself to sleep. I have managed to stay busy most of the time but I am still sitting here analyzing the hell out of where I went wrong. I turned my cell phone off 2 days ago. I am afraid that A. she hasn't contacted me and B. If she has contacted me I don't want to read those words "its over".. Funny thing is I'm scared to turn my phone back on.. lol anyway I am glad that this forum is here because it has helped kill some time and knowing that others are experiencing similar situations is a little comforting.

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Originally Posted by cptcaveman420

Well I guess I will join the club. Its been 4 days now of NC with my ex.. Been a rough weekend because we were supposed to go to a ball together and I had a tux rented and ready to go before everything fell through.She was at her little event all weekend while I was at home crying myself to sleep. I have managed to stay busy most of the time but I am still sitting here analyzing the hell out of where I went wrong. I turned my cell phone off 2 days ago. I am afraid that A. she hasnt contacted me and B. If she has contacted me I dont want to read those words "its over".. Funny thing is im scared to turn my phone back on..lol anyway I am glad that this forum is here because it has helped kill some time and knowing that others are experiencing similar situations is a little comforting.

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Just turn the phone on, no need to stop your life when obviously she hasn't... Don't take all the fault in why this relationship didn't work. Take it for what it was, learn from this relationship. I know it isn't easy, but if we never go through life without failure how can we succeed in future.. Don't regret the past and don't fear the future.. Turn the phone on and turn up yourself esteem... turn up the volume on your intuition..

Well I'm halfway through day 3 of NC. I'm into my second week of the break. I'm trying to convince myself that contacting her is just going to make it worse and turn this break into a break up for sure. I'm frustrated as hell cause this whole thing came about with out me seeing it. I had no way of preventing it cause I didn't see any big problems. Now I feel like I'm doing nothing cause of NC, but I know that in this case nothing really is something. Just feel kind of powerless like I should be doing more, but I know that I can't and shouldn't. Thinking about her right now is pretty much a constant thing. Can't really concentrate on work or school though I know I need to. I'm trying guys.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me at January 1st but only last week we get no contact. Yesterday we chat and I realize that he's thinking I'm not at our country but I didn't tell him the true.he wrote a lot but I just answered by short words, than he said that he knew I wasn't in our country just because I didn't go see his concert (he's musician).. I didn't answered. What do you think about it?

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Originally Posted by wannabehappy

my ex boyfriend broke up with me at january 1st but only last week we get no contact. yesterday we chat and i realize that he's thinking i'm not at our country but i didnt tell him the true.he wrote a lot but i just answered by short words, than he said that he knew i wasnt in our country just because i didnt go see his concert (he's musician)..i didnt answered. what do you think about it?

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Well I am on the tail end of my 5th day of NC and today has had its ups and downs. I woke up late so I didn't get to work until 10 and I was supposed to be there at 8. I finally turned my phone back on this morning.. I was shocked that my X hasn't even sent a single text. I guess she is one of those that flip like a light switch. I was relieved and saddened at the same time. I just keep telling myself that she has controlled my thoughts for the last time. I will never call her back and if she calls me I will just have to deal with it but I don't think she's going to call so that shouldn't be an issue. Went to t he gym after work so now I am tired and I am surfing the net for a while before going to bed. I hope everyone else out there going through the same situation had a tolerable day. Day by day things will get easier..

I am on my third week of NC. I am doing considerably better then before but I have a lot more to work on. I have many mixed feelings about her and some days are better then the others. Today was one of those days where everything I saw reminded me of her and I could not get her off my mind. It just frustrates me so much because I thought everything was perfect. She was the best thing to happen to me and I cared about her more then the world. Before she left me I thought I had my whole life planned out. I still have my goals but some of the biggest ones involved her by my side. I guess sometimes life throws you unexpected curve balls and you need to learn how to deal with them. Right now I am looking forward to the day where I no longer care what she is doing, how she feels, or anything in that matter. I care about her very much but she hurt me a lot. In the mean time I am going to try to focus on myself and let everything play its course. I hope given everybody's circumstances that you all are doing well.

For anybody who ever heard the song "Another Lonely Day" by Ben Harper; that song pretty much sums up exactly how I am feeling now. Another great song is "Beware! Criminal" by Incubus. I could through many more out there but I think many of us on this forum can also relate to these ones.

I like Blink 182- What Went Wrong... u fuked up my life!

Ok.

So I got a Facebook message from my ex (not the one I am getting over) telling me that he is "sorry we haven't had a chance to meet up" and that he "just wanted to let [me] know that [he thinks] about [me] and would like to see [me] again."

Talk about NC working, but for the wrong reason. Maybe he wants to just be friends, but why do they always come back when you have lost all interest, even if only to be "friends"?

Le sigh.

How long ago was this guy in your life?

I'm thinking... dude was doing OK in his life, hit a road block, then thought of you. My ex (2nd one) recently contacted me to see if we can get together and catch up. (weird... considering she lives with her current boyfriend). It's a week of 2nd exes catching up.

A little less than a year ago. He wanted to meet up since last semester, but since I was in a relationship with someone else (the of an ex who I've referred to many a time on this forum), I didn't think it was a good idea.

Well, I didn't see him as anything more then and I still don't now. He kept wanting to meet up, but I cancelled each time because I was always busy with schoolwork, friends, and whatnot.

I guess I can try and squeeze him in a few weekends from now.. :/

If you're completely over him, then I don't think it's a bad idea.. although this kid sounds like he wants to try for something more.

Tread slowly.

If you go into any interactions with the idea of seeing if he has potential, I think your doomed to fail, he may be a friend for life, so be honest with yourself about your motives for any interaction, before you do. Accepting people for what, and who they are, is as important, as not contacting your ex, to your own healing. Closing our mind prevents us seeing all our options, and prevents us from seeing reality and being a good listener. You never know who, or when something is said, we need to know.

Haven't posted in here for a while, but I'm pretty much back at day 1

The ex doesn't seem to think what her actions'll do to me, and I was pretty devoted to her. Her choice in the next boyfriend didn't go as expected, this sucks. Ironically, Jimi Hendrix's Manic Depression is the shuffled song right now. :( got to start back at square one again. I hope you guys are doing way better then I am right now.

DETAILS? Venting is good and we are nosey.

Haha, I'm sorry
I thought I was done with NC with her, thought I was completely over her so I did what I thought was right (or what I wanted, importantly). Sadly, I was pretty much wrong. Fell in love (not really, I just liked her a lot) but anyway, she was friendly towards me. The kind of friendliness where I was plan E or something. I don’t know, it’s just something I assumed anyway. She started talking to a recent ex of hers (he made her feel so terrible, made her cry almost everyday, made everyday unbearable, called her every curse words he could at her, dissed her in front of his friends every chance he get, and referred to her as “” whenever anyone mentioned her name). Through some miracle and illogical sense, she forgave him when he apologized (I’m not sure if it’s legit or not). Here we are, almost 4 days later and she’s now in love with him. It’s like one of those scenes in the movie where the girl goes off with the guy and I’m the one guy that’s left in the street, in pouring rain with broken hopes, I guess. I was really devoted to her and I was there for her more then she really realized (appreciated would also be a good word). I don’t think she realized what she did to me, but I don’t even have the slightest thought of talking about this to her. Screw her, this sucks.

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Originally Posted by Numb

I just had this idea after reading Mik's post.

How about if we use this thread to count the NC days, all of us? Each one would mention how long he/she's been maintaining the NC period and how he/she feels with time.
Maybe in some way this can help us all (including me)?

This is my first NC day.. Afternoon here, so far didn't even touch my phone. I don't know how I feel, but I'm not that miserable, I have a goal and thinking about it, NOT HER!

What about the rest of you?

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"Technically...only two days from 2/25/08. K. I sent a "voice mail" to him from my phone to "get it out... " - NC since although I've been sooooooooo very tempted. I like this idea of "charting" your no contact days. It's like quitting a BAD HABIT!! And me, being OCD/BIpolar/PMDD/PSTD and every other little quirk you can think of (not true in most cases... just the ones I'm willing to admit and get HELP for... ) This idea will be extremely useful for me at this point. I am resiliant. I think you ALL ARE AWESOME for sharing your most intimate and vulnerable aspects of yourself, which in turn... allows me to do the same. Thank you so very very much! KUDOS!!

Yea, after the first month I stopped counting how many days, all I know is that I feel 10X better than I did when I was pining over her for the first 2 weeks. Then I tried N/C and would do the typical well I need to say this, I need to say that crap. When what needed to be said was all out the window when she ended it. I believe I am closing in on 2 months since we have said 2 words to each other. I still have urges like everyone, I still have her telling people I text her "confessing my love and how I will wait for her" at work which is comical because I don't have her phone number or e-mail address. Everything is deleted...

Don't worry everyone, it gets better and soon you will be smiling and wondering "what the heck was I thinking"

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Don't worry everyone, it gets better and soon you will be smiling and wondering "what the heck was I thinking"

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Too true! And I thought that was just me. Periodically laughing as to what a needy wuss I was with the ex. Hindsight gives so much clarity!

Yea, I was such a sap! I was pining over her and was all depressed... for what? Waiting for a girl who was quick to drop me? As soon as I started living my life the way I wanted to, everything fell into place. I am more incline to approach girls lately, even got a date for Friday night(1st real date since the break up)

I was reading a journal I kept for the first month of the break up as a further reminder of how I never want to be that guy again. I realize now that I am the catch and will be better off. Knowing I did everything I could, I can look back in a year and have no regrets for not trying. It's a rewarding feeling