Aye bigbird the right thing is seldom the easiest thing to do.
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Aye bigbird the right thing is seldom the easiest thing to do.
Oh so true. :)
Yaaaay I just found out my ex was sleeping with a THIRD person behind my back. I wonder how many there really was. I had to break NC to, I just had to let him know I knew. Not a response, not an apology nothing. Words can't descrive how I feel. :(
Ah, boris... telling him how you knew wouldn't help the situation... you know that.
Just let it stew... let it stew...
Just kidding. I'm sorry you feel that bad. But hey, keep up the NC, and keep your head up. Things do get better.
Ugh >_< sorry, boris. What a mther ***** *****. (excuse my french) just continue the NC away from him, his infidelities, and all his crap.
Oh and hello sneeze! Long time no see. How art thou? :)
I'm doing all right... crapping my pants, however. Mcats in a month
ISneezeFunny good luck on the mcats, I recently started thinking about taking them myself.Cheers!
In other news, yesterday was a win for me, today - still feeling fine and strong. I finally broke my plateau! Over one week of NC!
Go you kaneda!
Reach for that 4 week mark... the rest is a joke.
Ps - I love your nonchalant way: I... MIGHT take the mcats...
Love it.
Sneezy, you probably already know all this, but this link is for you, just in case you need some guidance.
AAMC: MCAT: About the MCAT
Haha, thanks alty. Yep. I actually have the admissions packet on my desk... along with 341 other papers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boristheblade
What a douche.
I hope he gets beat up some day when a girls' boyfriend finds out your ex has been sleeping around
Jesus. H.:eek: Christ.Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
Good luck with that, dude.
Thanks jilted.
In case you were curious, that H in Jesus H Christ...
The Etymology of Jesus H. Christ
But in my book, it's Han. Jesus Han Christ.. . apparently he was asian of some sort.
Hah- well, what do you know. Thx for the info. Oh and I agree with the "Han" theory.. . because Asians are badass (... in a charmingly geeky way?). Everyone wants to be like us. :rolleyes: Obviously.Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
Come on now, I'm studying for a hundret other exams. NC is going great, but I must admit - I miss having someone to fight with all the time. Its getting kind of boring now, but I guess I should enjoy it.
You could always seek out the dumb ones here on AMHD and fight with them...
... every now and then you get the occasional 12 year old who thinks he/she's old enough to raise a child...
Uncalled for. Whatever
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaneda
Calm down, were just joking around. (The 12 year old thing is true though)
I still don't understand why you miss having someone to fight with though..?
kaneda, relax. I was kidding.
The whole basis of NC is to actually ENJOY the fact that there's no more drama in your life... the whole "no fighting, no obligation to call someone daily, no obligation to do anything for anyone but yourself" is actually a very calming experience. Soon, you'll learn to realize that being single... is actually a heck of a lot better than your old relationship.
I was talking with someone yesterday about how it's a weird feeling to all of a sudden be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want without having to answer to anyone. It is an odd thing to get used to, but its great at the same time...Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
The best part, she's in a relationship and she was jealous :p
yes I must agree... I feel less stressed I don't cry no more... I am overally happy... my relationship got to a 1 point where we fought 2x week... plus my ex drank way too much for me to handle.. the way feeling of calling him & him not picking because he passed out of drinking... don't miss that at all...
It's a great feeling. Sure, you still miss them, but you can definitely see life without them, and better yet, you can see life without them being better than before. That's the whole idea behind dating. It helps you understand yourself, what you want, and what you don't want.
God, what happened to the NC calendar? It use to be a bunch of us crybabies on here... and now no more of that. Everyone seems to be doing AWESOME! Yay for us!
Who knows what day of NC I'm on now since as I see it, those days of counting, etc. are way behind me. Just living life now!
You know how I knew I'm doing better. I've been seeing someone new and it actually lately hasn't been going so great, but I'm OK with it! Yeah, it sucks that it's probably not going to work out but I didn't immediately fall into a depression and think "oh, if only I could talk to my ex"... haha, instead I just thought, "oh well, its not going to work with this guy, bring on the next one!" haha
Hey you guys, it's beennnnn wayy too long since I've posted on this site. I've been so busy with university and friends that this is the only time I got to write a message as I'm going out of town again for the weekend
Here's a little update. My ex called me once a few days ago and then left me a text saying something like why dont you want to talk to me...Please answer your phone..please i just want to see how you are
After that she called me twice again. Now remember this is the girl that said that she didn't want to talk to me on the phone because it was a bit awkward. Now that I've gone NC for over 2 months, she calls me twice a week. Last week I met her friend when I went camping and told her to tell my ex to stop calling me, yet a few days later look what happens.
I know for a fact that things with her current boyfriend aren't going the way that they should be and she wants me to comfort her. I also know that she does care deeply about me and that she is confused. This girl needs to be single for a while to understand who she really is and what she really wants in life.
The way I see her is that she wants to be very independent but needs people to boost her ego and self esteem. She appears to be independent but she is far from it.
I thought I was clingy but I've taken a step back and realized that I don't need someone else to make me happy, I can be happy by myself.
Now I believe that this guy that she is with is some sort of a rebound, but I'm not banking on it. She needs to grow up and be a lot more mature. I have the biggest urge to call her boyfriend at work and letting him know that my ex should really stop calling me and wanting to talk to me.
I am coping OK with the fact me and my ex are over good, and also that he cheated on me with three different people- one of them being his long term ex girlfriend he was with before me, and even OK with the fact he was/is so cruel and I never deserved and he didn't apology for cheating on me even though he knows I've now found out. What I cannot get out of my head... is the fact I was a rebound for this girl, just a small blip in their relationship when he was such a HUGE part of my life :( and the thought of them getting married and having their happy ever after is just AGONY. Wondering how to deal with the fact that I am nothing to him, and she is everything and that's just how it is. :(
Apologise*
Boris, the saying by tailaman comes up. You made him a priority in your life while he made you an option in his. You gave him everything without making him earn it. People can be so cruel sometimes, it's unbelievable, all you can do is keep your chin up and keep troughing through the mud. Keep walking through this storm and never ever give up, you will get your just reward in the end. Things some how always tend to work out generally, just keep your chin up
I have question I was doing good for NC- but my ex texted me how I was doing... we texted back & worth- is that OK? However I was confident in the texts nothing about our relationship.. I want him to know I am OK w/the breakup... so I am just being cool w/him or should I ignore him? We broke up like 3wks ago...
Any form of contact you make is seen as breaking NC. To show that you're okay with the breakup you must show it to yourself first and not to him. Do what makes u happy and try not to think about them. As time passes by and if you've maintained NC, they themselves will realize that "oh, my ex hasnt contacted me in a long time, they must not need me anymore or must not think that I am important." You have to prove it to them through your actions, not through your words. In this day and age, words are meaningless
Good points Spion. When you walk through the storm...
You will come out the other side. I'm a liverpool fan, hoping we buy Keane or Villa!
Your post on your update was good and positive to read. You seem to now have your head ruling your heart, which is a good balanced state to be in. congrats on that. My ex is similar to yours, in that she needs to sort her head out and find out what she wants.
I know as you do, that I can be happy with or without her.
Keep up the good work my man.
Thanks for your support. I know- I wish that I'd seen that quote AFTER we got together. You're so very right--- I gave him everything without him earning it. He didn't have a challenge. So I Imagine he got bored. Not a mistake I want to make again :(Quote:
Originally Posted by spion_kop
Does anybody else find that- it's not just them you miss? For instance I was close with his sister and mum and even adored his cat for goodness sake!! I knew his grandmother and aunties. It actually really hurts that all those people are out of my life along with him. Is that normal or it just me?
Its normal, don't worry...
My ex's family loved me, and I have actually been invited over to her house by her mom since the breakup (a little odd to say the least :p). Its normal, but don't worry. Just like getting him out of your life, the rest of his family will go with it.
This is exactly why it is important to keep a life of your own and some independence. Should someone leave your life, you can't have you life fall apart...
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbird213
That is very accurate. I have made that mistake before, and I was making that mistake only a week ago with my girlfriend. I saw her EVERYDAY! She was my life. That has changed now. I have many friends who I will still have in the event me and my girlfriend break up. It's a great lesson to learn.
It's almost 3 weeks of NC... my ex has not texted, called, nor left me messages.
I feel relieved a bit more than before; sometimes I still have the urge but I try to control myself.
recently, I have been looking at the vocational school around SD (San Diego) and I toured the campus. It's in a financial district, but it's good. I took their exam and damn did I ace the test.
Good stuff guys. I too am doing better and one of my friends even said that I seem to be doing better. NC and time seems to work wonders. You guys all rock.
I haven't talked to my ex in a week now and lo and behold, I am feeling better. He tried to stay in contact with me twice last week, but I didn't reply.
I think he might be seeing someone else, or at least there's definitely another girl who is interested in him. I was initially jealous, but I think I'm okay with it now. I'm happy for him. :cool:
-J
Oh jilted. You crazy woman, you. I'm glad you're feeling better.
... do I even categorize as an NC-er?
It's been... 7 months.. I... have no idea what my ex is doing. We run into each other every now and then at a party, club, or the grocery store... she says hi, I nod as a response.
Of course, I do think about her every once in a while. But really, it means almost nothing anymore.
!! Whaaat? I am NOT a crazy woman. Hhhhssss. -__-^
If anything, my ex is the crazy one. He practically sheds tears over me leaving, but when I do him the favor of letting go because that's what he said he wanted (not what I initially wanted), he can't swallow his stupid, petty PRIDE and is a complete about it. Then, he tries to stay in contact, saying how we're going to get back together this fall. Well, I've got my pride, too. SO NO.
(hhmm... I guess I'm more angry than 'crazy' today. It will pass. :P)
Anyway, glad to know that you're feeling better Sneezy. :) I'd love to hear about you. Keep in touch, you hear?
Your boyfriend is a douche. I hate people who have so much pride that they turn arrogant.Quote:
Originally Posted by jiltedgirl
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