I hear what you're saying big bird and chuff. I know that it isn't my life and that she can do wahtever she wants. But this just shows the person that she has become if it did happen. I'm not jumping onto any conclusions because hey people are sexually active these days.

All that was bothering me was the person that she has become now after all that we've done together. For me, it shows the character that I possess where I know my morals and values. For her, I guess it's about living in the moment and not caring about the consequences that may occur tomorrow

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Originally Posted by spion_kop

i hear what you're saying big bird and chuff. I know that it isnt my life and that she can do wahtever she wants. But this just shows the person that she has become if it did happen. I'm not jumping onto any conclusions because hey ppl are sexually active these days.

All that was bothering me was the person that she has become now after all that we've done together. For me, it shows the character that i possess where I know my morals and values. For her, i guess it's about living in the moment and not caring about the consequences that may occur tomorrow

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There you go :)

You know what you want to do the next day or in the future.
Your ex only knows what happens TODAY for her.

Its 4AM... I'm drunk and I sent my ex a text... even out of it, I regret it... I wish so bad that there wasn't a break in the conversation tonight to give me the time to text "i miss you" to my ex...

I can't believe I did that! Should have left my phone home. Should not have gotten wasted. And now I can't help but hope that she text back that she misses me... but I know she won't say anything...

I'm such a mess...

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Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

its 4AM... im drunk and i sent my ex a text... even out of it, i regret it... i wish so bad that there wasnt a break in the conversation tonight to give me the time to text "i miss you" to my ex...

i can't believe i did that! should have left my phone home. should not have gotten wasted. and now i can't help but hope that she text back that she misses me... but i know she wont say anything...

im such a mess...

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I am too. I have been up for over 24 hours. I too am missing my ex. It all sucks.

I hear you westy and f104. I too indulged a bit too much last night and had the feelings of wanting to reach out to my ex.. but then I reminded myself that its not HIM I miss. It's a relationship I miss. Its having someone to love that I miss. Not him. Next time you feel like that, just remind yourself that.

Don't kick yourself too much about it now. What's done is done. It was just a hiccup. Keep going with NC.

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Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

its 4AM... im drunk and i sent my ex a text... even out of it, i regret it... i wish so bad that there wasnt a break in the conversation tonight to give me the time to text "i miss you" to my ex...

i can't believe i did that! should have left my phone home. should not have gotten wasted. and now i can't help but hope that she text back that she misses me... but i know she wont say anything...

im such a mess...

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Take a breath and calm down westy - its nothing that you can't move on from, like any other hiccup in the NC road. The most important step now is that you learn from what happened and make sure that you don't repeat your old mistakes.

It might help to try and convince yourself that you won't be getting a response either. How long has it been since you last talked to her?

Let's all hit the beaches and meet new girls?

I'm going to focus my mind on what I NEED TO DO AND THAT IS UNIVERSITY & ADVANCED TRAINING

Last time I talked to her was in march, during spring break...

Funny thing is... I feel fine now... hungover, but fine.

I don't expect a response, in fact I'm just going to pretend I never said anything.

And the thing is losingit... is that I really do miss her, not the relationship. I could get into another relationship tomorrow if I really wanted to (not to sound arrogant, but I know a few girls) its just that none of the other girls I have been seeing float my boat. I try my hardest not to compare them to my ex, but its hard not to.

Anyway, I just don't feel like putting forth the effort into a new girl just yet, and I don't know when I will.

But yeah, I know she won't respond, so why wait for it... ill get over this.

Glad to hear your feeling better West, was probably just the alcohol talking yesterday...

Had an "almost" hiccup today. Nothing really, but a friend of my ex (she went to school with him) sent me an IM today and was just seeing how I was, I met him once. Then he was telling me that he didn't understand why my ex didn't want to hang out with him when he was in the state last week or something (she doesn't really like the kid, he's annoying).

Anyway, all he did was mention her name and it got my heart to drop a little bit. Not sure why, I'm fine now (5 minutes later) but it got me going for some reason.

Its funny how I can talk about her on my terms and be fine, but when the conversation turns to her and its out of my control, I get a little panicky... I guess that's just more proof that I have some ways to go. Glad nothing heavy was said.

The thing that I've noticed is that my ex only gets my thoughts when I'm feeling lonely, upset, or a little depressed... she only gets me when I'm feeling my worst. And that is what keeps me going... because when I'm feeling great, what she did to me disgusts me to no end... I don't hate her for it, but she's not someone I would want to hang out with.

Amazing how time changes these things. You start to get to a stage of indifference about the entire thing. I still find it amazing how the littlest mention can have you pretty afraid though, at least me. Not that anything bad has to happen, but just the though of being in that perilous situation can get my heart going...

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Originally Posted by bigbird213

Amazing how time changes these things. You start to get to a stage of indifference about the entire thing. I still find it amazing how the littlest mention can have you pretty afraid though, at least me. Not that anything bad has to happen, but just the though of being in that perilous situation can get my heart going....

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I remember that stage quite well. It sucks... I've noticed that I've started to get that horrible feeling when it comes to this ex as well. One mention or one message from them to you and your heart starts beating uncontrollably and this horrible sense of dread and anticipation fills you up. :(

Hi guys today is exactly one month since I saw my ex last. I was doing quite well for the first 11 days. I was going through the NC thing and working through me emotions. Don't get me wrong it sucked. I was in tears every day. Since then she and I have been back in contact. We have yet to see one another but it is emotionally draining. Supposedly we will meet this week but I am not going to hold my breath.

I still get those feelings that "there is nobody else in the world as great as she is." Man I wish we could get over relationships in less than 24 hours.

Well, I feel queasy when I talk about my ex. It's unavoidable cause my family members and friends knew I was dating... LoL

Yeah, its been over 2 months since we saw each other and a little over a month since we last spoke. Doing really well actually. The thing that absolutely makes it easier is not talking/seeing them. Every once in a while, I think "hey, wonder what he's up to?" But I know in reality, I really don't want to know. It's a lot easier to just disappear from their lives and let them disappear from yours then still still have even the slightest involvement with theirs. I can talk about him now without my eyes watering up so I guess that's a good thing.

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Originally Posted by losingit77

Yeah, its been over 2 months since we saw each other and a little over a month since we last spoke. Doing really well actually. The thing that absolutely makes it easier is not talking/seeing them. Every once in a while, I think "hey, wonder what he's up to?" But I know in reality, i really don't want to know. Its a lot easier to just disappear from their lives and let them disappear from yours then still still have even the slightest involvement with theirs. I can talk about him now without my eyes watering up so i guess that's a good thing.

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I'm glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of ourselves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what I'm saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.

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Originally Posted by classicrocker

im glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of our selves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what im saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.

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I concur wholeheartedly with the above. We'll make it. That much I know and that is what will keep me going strong.

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Originally Posted by classicrocker

im glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of our selves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what im saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.

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LOl... This is good stuff classicrocker... I wish I found this site a long time ago... I thought I was the only softy out here who nailed himself to the floor when his soul got stamped on... Best wishes to you losing it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by classicrocker

im glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of our selves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what im saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.

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I like this. Very well put and full of hope!

How's everyone doing today?

Been a while now, not counting, don't care - how I feel is the only thing that matters, not how long or short it has been :)

Feeling good lately, keeping real busy definitely helps a ton. Been going out and trying to meet new people. Its funny because I don't miss her as much as I just don't want to hear about her being happy. Not sure why, but I think over the past week or so I am becoming rapidly detached from her. My emotions feel like they are finally just fading out.

I still wish I could hear about her and not be upset at all, but I'm just not there. I sometimes feel like I'm a little behind since I can't ask about her - or I am embarrassed that people might think that me not being able to hear about her and what she is doing is a sign of weakness.

It would be very easy for me to ask people about her and find things out - and I just hope that by telling them I don't want to know, or choosing not to ask, doesn't make me seem weak.

Bigbird that sounds like progress to me mate. Good for you. I agree that keeping busy and spending time with people is important.

Same here BB213

I'm actually focusing myself on English at community college...
Yes, there are SEVERAL SMOKING girls but I kept my mind off of girls...

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Originally Posted by bigbird213

It would be very easy for me to ask people about her and find things out - and I just hope that by telling them I don't want to know, or choosing not to ask, doesn't make me seem weak.

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You don't come across weak at all. Everyone has gone through a breakup at one time or another. People understand. :cool:

I am doing better. I never really responded to the ex's Facebook message, in which he wrote that he was confused. Instead, I sent him a dead face. I didn't feel much like responding with words anymore. Words are so overrated anyway.:rolleyes:

I hope everyone else is doing all right?

I am nearing a week of NC. Right now its so bad, that only going back and talking again (regardless of negative or positive outcome) is going to help. Other than that I'm pretty much done, dettached, disinterested in him. Really, I don't care, it doesn't matter, doesn't concern me. Still, NC hurts bad but its just a feeling,that will go away eventually. Sigh, its messing up my study routine.

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are all doing well today. Tomorrow, I am flying to GA to see my ex. Oh boy, I hope it goes well.

Well I was doing good 3 days in a row.. lol it was birthday as well so he (he dumped me) made the last text of saying happy birthday... I texted yesterday & we spoke... I want to make it to a week of NC.. its hard because I want to be his friend because he is going through a bad time... he is aborderline alcoholic which is why the relationship was falling apart...

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Originally Posted by magrock

well i was doing good 3 days in a row..lol it was bday as well so he (he dumped me) made the last text of saying happy bday.... i texted yesterday & we spoke... i want to make it to a week of NC..its hard b/c i want to be his friend b/c he is going thru a bad time...he is aborderline alcoholic which is y the relationship was falling apart....

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Birthdays are a little bit tough...

I didn't send my ex anything on her birthday, almost a month ago now, and her sister knew that I didn't send her anything on her birthday. That made me wonder for a little while about if I upset her by doing that, or if she was expecting it or not. I still wonder from time to time, but we need to realize that it isn't our responsibility whether we are upsetting them.

I still care about upsetting her for some weird reason, I guess its just the nice guy syndrome??

I understand what you mean because my ex wrote me a text saying how come I did not wish him a happy 4th but in my head I am like "i am trying to get over u" buddy... I was going out w/my friends & having a good time. Though he broke up w/me I am happy he did because I was not strong enough to break it off which is why I feel at peace however the feeling of familiarity of hearing from him or getting nice texts from him is what I miss

But NC is very hard to do plus I am very emotional & I went through the bag stage last week we said mean things to each other because I was very mad@him because we broke up because he told me because of all the fights I made he was not in love w/me no more... which hurt a lot but trying to move passed it

Going on 13 months since I last was with anyone. My ex has moved on to bigger and better things, and I seem to be in limbo. She's on TV. I'm on the couch, how metaphorically tragic can you get? It wears me down. But I keep going. Having no one to turn to or to talk to, I keep going everyday.

I haven't broken down yet. Which is a big, big step forward. If I don't go down today I know it will be easier tomorrow.

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Originally Posted by kaneda

I havent broken down yet. Which is a big, big step forward. If i dont go down today i know it will be easier tomorrow.

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Bravo for that view point. One day at a time bud.

Starlite I wish you all the best with your meeting with the ex. After a month of games I think I am finally starting to move on from my ex.

A friend of mine says it takes half the length of time of the relationship until we can move on after a breakup. I am starting to think that maybe correct. Thank God I was not with my ex any longer than a few months!

Jilted good to hear you are doing better.

Enigmatic sounds like you are in pain friend. I feel for you and that must be hard having to see your ex on the telly.

I think that time is the only real healer and if one is unable to go directly to NC then that is at least a worthy goal. I would also recommend being careful of the advice of friends.

One of the excuses I used to break NC was due to the words of my friends and family members. Still friends are only trying to help and generally speaking they are vital to getting through a breakup.

For me some days are better than others. I doubt if I would even respond to an e-mail, text or phone message. I am beginning to realize the only I can move on is to let go. Do not get me wrong my ex is an amazing woman and she always will be, but for to think I can do no better or that there are no other women out there as wonderful as her is arrogant and most likely untrue.

Thanks to all of you for being here. I am sure over time we will slowly drift away from this site as finally meet that person who will love us just as much as we love them. Take care I am off to get a tat!

I went 6 days with no contact and broke down yesterday and called her. Wasn't too bad but things are still awkward between me and her, so my next goal is going to be 21 days!

My NC is 2 weeks now... still see-sawing..

I think I'm past the one-week-NC-milestone! Sounds kind of pathetic, but I'm still happy I made it.

Hey a week of NC is an accomplishment I had to start all over again because we had contact on Monday so hoping to get through this week w/NC...

Today IS easier. Really, I feel great. No missing him, no crying. I still keep mentaly talking to him though and that's going to stop real soon. Looks like I'm going to enter week 2 of NC. Horay!

Today IS easier! I'm entering week 2 of NC! Hooray!

Today was day 9 NC. She had texted me a few days ago- "Some days are harder than others", which made me think she misses me and threw me for a loop. I ended up emailing her today. Stupid, but I was going crazy.

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Originally Posted by freeatlast1

Today was day 9 NC. She had texted me a few days ago- "Some days are harder than others", which made me think she misses me and threw me for a loop. I ended up emailing her today. Stupid, but I was going crazy.

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Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. The best lessons we learn are often the most painful mistakes to make. It will be tough in the beginning, but it will get easier. It is obviously tough for her, and I'm sure she misses you, but that doesn't mean that it is the wrong thing to do.

When is the right thing to do ever the easiest??