Ask Me Help Desk - The NC Calendar II

I really really believe that we all have to learn our lessons on our own first hand.. yes, people can give advice, but it really comes down to us learning through our own experiences.. sooo.. don't feel guilty guys when you break the no contact, it's all a learning process

My ex and I are "talking" now, not sure if it's good, not sure if I'm going to get burned in the end, but it helps to know that all of you here are going through the same kind of things.. and that no matter what happens I'll be OK and I have support through my friends, family and you guys.

I was doing well- 2 weeks of NC and I was OK until my ex text me, and said things to me after arguing like, "you're the best thing to ever happen to me", only to tell me the next day to move on and maybe get a new boyfriend. *SIGH* back to square one emotionally, I felt so happy but it was false hope. NC starts all over again. DAY 1. :(

You're not starting over emotionally.. it's all about the process.. sure you're going to feel really crappy for the next couple of days, but you will feel better again, and sooner then the first time.. don't be hard on yourself and know that everyday that goes by even if you contact them or not is one step closer to your healing.

Thank you x

Jiltedgirl
NNG
Classicrocker
Hjpan and all others thanks for all of your support. It does seem that NC is a process. It seems that NC for many of us happens over time. We seem to have periods of NC and then we have relapse and start all over again. I am thankful that all you guys are here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by f104

Jiltedgirl
NNG
Classicrocker
Hjpan and all others thanks for all of your support. It does seem that NC is a process. It seems that NC for many of us happens over time. We seem to have periods of NC and then we have relapse and start all over again. I am thankful that all you guys are here.

Not at all. I am looking forward to get my education and training so I can start having 5 figure income :D

Plonak and Blade it is good to see you guys.

Hjpan go for dude. 5 figures would be good indeed.

Guess we're all in this together

X

Quote:

Originally Posted by f104

Plonak and Blade it is good to see you guys.

Hjpan go for dude. 5 figures would be good indeed.

Especially when I'm going to become 2nd year as university student.. LoL

Yep~ I need to work hard to achieve :)

@every1 else: hit the beaches :)~ guarantee there are hotties =]!

:( I'm feeling really down today. I have the urge to keep our correspondence going, but I haven't because I need to let go of the hope and possibility that we will be anything more than friends when we get back to school this fall. He told me himself that he didn't want to "give me any hope" so I was okay with us being done. I didn't hold onto any hope. But, him telling me to visit him and that the summer won't have seemed that long or a big deal when we see each other again in the fall has made me dangerously hope again.

I think I kept responding before because in a small way, I wanted him to follow through with the bs he fed me. I didn't want him to forget about me. Feelings are so fickle. For all I know, he could find someone else and so could I, if I was looking. As a result, now I'm even MORE adamant to stay with NC. I'm not off to very good start. I've been moping around, unable to do any work. I know it'll pass and I'll get over it, but it just really sucks right now.

I saw that he's planning to take a trip somewhere and it hurt that he was "too busy with work" to want a relationship with me, yet he has time to jet off somewhere for fun.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiltedgirl

:( I'm feeling really down today. I have the urge to keep our correspondence going, but I haven't because I need to let go of the hope and possibility that we will be anything more than friends when we get back to school this fall. He told me himself that he didn't want to "give me any hope" so I was okay with us being done. I didn't hold onto any hope. But, him telling me to visit him and that the summer wont have seemed that long or a big deal when we see each other again in the fall has made me dangerously hope again.

I think I kept responding before because in a small way, I wanted him to follow through with the bs he fed me. I didn't want him to forget about me. Feelings are so fickle. For all I know, he could find someone else and so could I, if I was looking. As a result, now I'm even MORE adamant to stay with NC. I'm not off to very good start. I've been moping around, unable to do any work. I know it'll pass and I'll get over it, but it just really sucks right now.

I saw that he's planning to take a trip somewhere and it hurt that he was "too busy with work" to want a relationship with me, yet he has time to jet off somewhere for fun.

Go to his work place with a new boyfriend :D?

Quote:

Originally Posted by hjpan

Go to his work place with a new boyfriend :D?

Hahaha. I wish.. :rolleyes:.. but that's not a nice thing to do. Man, I don't even know why I like that stupid idiot. Oh well...

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiltedgirl

:( I'm feeling really down today. I have the urge to keep our correspondence going, but I haven't because I need to let go of the hope and possibility that we will be anything more than friends when we get back to school this fall. He told me himself that he didn't want to "give me any hope" so I was okay with us being done. I didn't hold onto any hope. But, him telling me to visit him and that the summer wont have seemed that long or a big deal when we see each other again in the fall has made me dangerously hope again.

I think I kept responding before because in a small way, I wanted him to follow through with the bs he fed me. I didn't want him to forget about me. Feelings are so fickle. For all I know, he could find someone else and so could I, if I was looking. As a result, now I'm even MORE adamant to stay with NC. I'm not off to very good start. I've been moping around, unable to do any work. I know it'll pass and I'll get over it, but it just really sucks right now.

I saw that he's planning to take a trip somewhere and it hurt that he was "too busy with work" to want a relationship with me, yet he has time to jet off somewhere for fun.

Hi Jilted. Hope is a killer. I too am going through the same thing. I am meant to meet my ex next week. I was miserable during almost 2 weeks of NC but I felt I was making progress. Now that she and I have been e-mailing and have talked a couple of times over the past 3 weeks I again have hope.

NC is best I guess but it is not easy. I hope things get better for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiltedgirl

hahaha. i wish..:rolleyes:..but that's not a nice thing to do. man, i don't even know why i like that stupid idiot. oh well...

Hahaha~

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiltedgirl

hahaha. i wish..:rolleyes:..but that's not a nice thing to do. man, i don't even know why i like that stupid idiot. oh well...

Hahaha~
Well, just remember you can "guilt-trip" your ex since he's guilt-tripping you

Hey guys, so while I was sleeping last night, my ex called me at like 1 in the morning. At first I didn't even get up to check my phone but then later on I checked my cell and I recognized her number. She called the second time around and I ignored the call.

I have no idea what's going on with her, but clearly when she mentioned that she wouldn't message/call me anymore, it was a lie.
Maybe she got into a fight with her boyfriend etc I unno but I isn't going to be a doormat

Quote:

Originally Posted by spion_kop

hey guys, so while i was sleeping last night, my ex called me at like 1 in the morning. At first i didnt even get up to check my phone but then later on i checked my cell and i recognized her number. She called the second time around and i ignored the call.

I have no idea what's going on with her, but clearly when she mentioned that she wouldnt message/call me anymore, it was a lie.
Maybe she got into a fight with her bf etc i unno but i aint gonna be a doormat

Hey spion... keep it up!

I responded to the ex and no reply. :mad: I'm really disappointed in myself. I'm trying though!

All right, So, I haven't talked to her for a month or so I'd guess. I'm not really sure, it's been a while. We've avoided each other but today she comes in for businesses purposes and we are just making random chit chat about nothing. Then out of the blue she says, "my sister said to tell you hello." I thought that strange since we don't even talk anymore and further that meant I had to come up in conversation at some point. So I just said "tell her hello back." Then she says jokingly but still oddly, "Oh so your cheating on me with my own sister, that's sick." I just said, "Well she's been wanting me for a long time, why not give it to her." Again this was joking and she drops her jaw and gives me this strange look. She then wished me a good weekend and that was it.

Jilted do not be too hard on yourself. I am still hoping to see my ex next week.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Alright, So, I haven't talked to her for a month or so I'd guess. I'm not really sure, it's been a while. We've avoided each other but today she comes in for businesses purposes and we are just making random chit chat about nothing. Then out of the blue she says, "my sister said to tell you hello." I thought that strange since we don't even talk anymore and further that meant I had to come up in conversation at some point. So I just said "tell her hello back." Then she says jokingly but still oddly, "Oh so your cheating on me with my own sister, that's sick." I just said, "Well she's been wanting me for a long time, why not give it to her." Again this was joking and she drops her jaw and gives me this strange look. She then wished me a good weekend and that was it.

One word my friend

Women

Quote:

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

one word my friend

Women

Ain't that the truth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by f104

jilted do not be too hard on yourself. I am still hoping to see my ex next week.

Thanks f10~! :) I really appreciate it and hope all goes well with your ex. Update me on what goes down.

At this very moment, I just don't want to care anymore. What sucks is that before I wanted to visit the city (where he is right now) because I genuinely wanted to visit my friends. Now there's another hidden incentive.. so that I can meet up with him (DANGER! ). So I think I may not visit my friends anymore. I don't want the temptation to be there AT ALL. At least I can't contact him anyway once I were to get there. I deleted his number from my cell long ago. (:D Clearly, the one smart thing that I've done! Haha)

I reeeaaally need to drive home the fact that he wants to be friends and nothing more. He only responded to me because he was bored and had nothing better to do. Instead of wondering, I need to accept this reality.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiltedgirl

Thanks f10~!! :) I really appreciate it and hope all goes well with your ex. Update me on what goes down.

At this very moment, I just don't want to care anymore. What sucks is that before I wanted to visit the city (where he is right now) because I genuinely wanted to visit my friends. Now there's another hidden incentive..so that I can meet up with him (DANGER!!). So I think I may not visit my friends anymore. I don't want the temptation to be there AT ALL. At least I can't contact him anyway once I were to get there. I deleted his number from my cell long ago. (:D Clearly, the one smart thing that I've done! haha)

I reeeaaally need to drive home the fact that he wants to be friends and nothing more. He only responded to me because he was bored and had nothing better to do. Instead of wondering, I need to accept this reality.

One word

Men lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

one word

Men lol

Ain't that the truth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Alright, So, I haven't talked to her for a month or so I'd guess. I'm not really sure, it's been a while. We've avoided each other but today she comes in for businesses purposes and we are just making random chit chat about nothing. Then out of the blue she says, "my sister said to tell you hello." I thought that strange since we don't even talk anymore and further that meant I had to come up in conversation at some point. So I just said "tell her hello back." Then she says jokingly but still oddly, "Oh so your cheating on me with my own sister, that's sick." I just said, "Well she's been wanting me for a long time, why not give it to her." Again this was joking and she drops her jaw and gives me this strange look. She then wished me a good weekend and that was it.

Your ex got pwned :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Ain't that the truth.

Men suck. They never know what they want. Then again... does anyone until they're in danger of losing that someone?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiltedgirl

Men suck. They never know what they want. Then again...does anyone until they're in danger of losing that someone?

Girls suck too. MY ex does not know what she wants from me...

:( Yes, that was what I was basically getting at. WE--PEOPLE--ALL SUCK. Lol.

So its been 6-7 months? Since the break-up... last contact was during spring break... had a nice 3 hour talk over pie, it felt like I was over her... and I really think I am. But recently I've been thinking about her nonstop... I thought it was just a rough few days, those few days turned into a week, and that week has turned into 2 weeks... I try to stay busy.. but when I am busy I think about how I'm not thinking about her, and then I think about her again.

I know in my mind that its over and done with, but I can't help but think we'll see each other again... maybe its just false hope creeping back in. I just don't get it... I've done everything I could do to get her out, I have 2 jobs for the summer, I've been dating... but nobody really does it for me, y'know?

Is it messed up that pretending to tell her the things I've been doing make me feel better? I'm not exactly talking to myself, but rehearsing what I would say to her... I don't know, it just sucks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

So its been 6-7 months? since the break-up... last contact was during spring break... had a nice 3 hour talk over pie, it felt like i was over her... and i really think i am. but recently i've been thinking about her nonstop... i thought it was just a rough few days, those few days turned into a week, and that week has turned into 2 weeks... i try to stay busy.. but when i am busy i think about how im not thinking about her, and then i think about her again.

i know in my mind that its over and done with, but i can't help but think we'll see each other again... maybe its just false hope creeping back in. i just dont get it... i've done everything i could do to get her out, i have 2 jobs for the summer, i've been dating... but nobody really does it for me, y'know?

is it messed up that pretending to tell her the things i've been doing make me feel better? im not exactly talking to myself, but rehearsing what i would say to her... i dunno, it just sucks.

Same boat here...

it's because the emotions we put through with our ex..

For me, I chose to have sex with my ex when we were dating (even though it was against religious rules) because I thought our relationship would be glued for a while... turns out a year later, I get dumped.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiltedgirl

:( Yes, that was what I was basically getting at. WE--PEOPLE--ALL SUCK. lol.

It's true we all do suck!:)

Quote:

Originally Posted by f104

It's true we all do suck!:)

So we should think of alternative solutions that we don't suck

Quote:

Originally Posted by hjpan

So we should think of alternative solutions that we don't suck

True story, I was driving through Wisconsin about a year and half ago, and there was some story on the radio about a guy that was arrestted for having sex with a dead dear on the side of the road. If it's good enough for the people of Wisconsin it's good enough for... you know what, I think we should just stick to getting dumped by humans.

Hey guys.. im having a moment of weakness... I just had a epiphany.. I was looking back at my entire break up and her new boyfriend and realized something.

He wanted to get into her pants less than a week after the break up. She was a virgin with me because we both wanted it that way. Now I have a gut feeling that she isn't anymore... I don't know why but I feeel this way..

It just goes to show how people have changed in such a short span of time

Quote:

Originally Posted by spion_kop

hey guys..im having a moment of weakness...i just had a epiphany..i was looking back at my entire break up and her new bf and realized something.

he wanted to get into her pants less than a week after the break up. She was a virgin with me because we both wanted it that way. Now i have a gut feeling that she isnt anymore...i dont know why but i feeel this way..

it just goes to show how ppl have changed in such a short span of time

He wanted to get into her pants or he did? I want to get into Halle Berry's but I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen. Only because we'ver never met, not that I couldn't. Let's be honest here, I am the Chuffster. Is you gut feeling based on something he's saying because people tend to make stuff up. Furthermore, what does that say about the two of you? To me it says one person can keep there word and the other one is her. Look at the positives here, you are honest, she's not, your words have value she does not.

He wanted to get into her pants but she wasn't too comfortable. I think now, after 3 months.. I have that feeling that he has. I know she is not honest, and it also makes me lose even more respect for her. It's not based on what anyone has said, it's something that just hit me. It's a strong feeling.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spion_kop

he wanted to get into her pants but she wasnt too comfortable. I think now, after 3 months..i have that feeling that he has. I know she is not honest, and it also makes me lose even more respect for her. It's not based on what anyone has said, it's something that just hit me. It's a strong feeling.

I guess what I'm saying though, isn't this something you could turn around and look as a positive for yourself and not as something that you should be upset about. You were a man, you held onto your word.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spion_kop

he wanted to get into her pants but she wasnt too comfortable. I think now, after 3 months..i have that feeling that he has. I know she is not honest, and it also makes me lose even more respect for her. It's not based on what anyone has said, it's something that just hit me. It's a strong feeling.

Another thing to consider:

A feeling is a feeling, no matter how strong. You have no proof, just a gut intuition which has no base. Don't jump to conclusions...

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

True story, I was driving through Wisconsin about a year and half ago, and there was some story on the radio about a guy that was arrestted for having sex with a dead dear on the side of the road. If it's good enough for the people of Wisconsin it's good enough for..............you know what, I think we should just stick to getting dumped by humans.

My plan for solution is to work and study hard... get my hands-on-training so I can work at a hospital and study as part-time student.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spion_kop

he wanted to get into her pants but she wasnt too comfortable. I think now, after 3 months..i have that feeling that he has. I know she is not honest, and it also makes me lose even more respect for her. It's not based on what anyone has said, it's something that just hit me. It's a strong feeling.

I will definitely laugh if he leaves her within a year.

As for you, spion_kop, focus your mind on other stuff.. I have the same problem too. My ex told me her new guy-friend tried to get some, but she said she did not give in. I really don't care as much anymore.... I am looking forward to work hard to pass university and work at a hospital as an assistant.

Pretty good deal?I think so... one year income is about 20k-30k for a 20 year old student