anyways... I'm still confused about letting go of my ex =/
any help?
I started exercising.. lost 10lbs in about 2 weeks..eating less.. drinking more alcohol
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anyways... I'm still confused about letting go of my ex =/
any help?
I started exercising.. lost 10lbs in about 2 weeks..eating less.. drinking more alcohol
Lol drink her away for abit.. I mean not sloppy drunk.. but causual/social drinking. Helps loosen you up when meeting new people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hjpan
A few words of advice...
First off, congrats on exercising - makes you feel better and if you keep it up it will make you feel better. Make sure you aren't doing it for anyone but yourself though, you're the only one worth it :)
If you are eating less to lose weight, just be careful. Your best bet is to eat healthier, not necessarily less. And drinking more alcohol isn't going to help you lose weight :)
Just some friendly suggestions - but whatever makes it easier for you is the right thing at this point (to an extent - no drugs :p)
Keep at it
Thanks guys =]
I am planning to meet with a friend in LA on Saturday & probably drink..
I feel so frustrated that I am not a good boyfriend since I spend time in college than girls =/
Huh?Quote:
Originally Posted by hjpan
You mean you spend more time on school than you do on girls? That doesn't make you a bad boyfriend. In actuality, that makes you a good boyfriend beucase you are goal oriented and hard working toward the goals that you need to accomplish. A girl should be looking for someone who has a life of their own, just as you should be looking for a girl that is independent and confident in herself.
I don't know why but many girls I have met like guys who party =/Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbird213
Well you could define party in many different ways.
I personally don't mind drinking, but I also don't mind not drinking. I could go to a party and have tons of fun being totally sober if everyone else is getting drunk. It really makes no difference to me. I like to have the option and not be pressured in either direction by anyone.
Its not about what your doing, its about how you make people feel.
Hey,
So I talked to my GIRLFRIEND today!
We got back together...
I never really used NC, but you guys were still here to support me every step of the way.
Thanks,
And I hope you don't mind if I hang around this thread to support you guys in your NC!
Thanks again
Yeh... college girls usually define party as in lots of alcohol, some music, and passing out/throwing up...Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbird213
then some one-night-fuqing-stand
Seems like everyone on here is getting back together... haha. Best of luck to all of you though. Just interesting to watch. So BB, is it just you and I now?? Haha
Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy
Forgot me.
Don't plan on getting back together regardless of the fake drivel/bs that spews out of his mouth. Ever.Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy
You can still count me in. NC--woooot. Lol. :rolleyes:
BigBird, NorthernNiceGuy, jiltedgirl, & hjp..
we're in the same boat =O
Don't forget the classicrocker, he's still rolling down the road of NC.
I'm still here guys. Just been away from the net for a few days. Me and my ex are in contact but nothing heavy. Just light contact at the moment. If she contacts me to say lets hang out, ill go from there, but until then I'm all good and doing OK.
Kind of realised that if it doesn't happen again I'm cool with that, and I'm cool with it if it does.
Keep going all, and best of luck to those who are trying again. Keep us posted.
Northern and BB, keep up the good work.
Im well and truly on the NC path. It'd be a cold day in hell before I even spoke to my ex, let alone got back with her haha. Than again I am technically with someone else, if that counts.
Yep the numbers sure are dwindling.
Finally snapped out of my funk, which is nice.
A little past two months now, and I'm hoping I'm further in then I have to go left. Only time will tell...
My mind still likes to bring back memories of us, theme seems to be intimate memories which hurt a bit. Not sure why my mind likes those so much, but they do suck because the natural progression is from my intimate memories to her "making new ones" with someone else. There goes the assumptions again...
How's everyone else been holding up?
You're most welcome bigbird, I'm glad to know that my post was of some help to you and anyone else.
It's perfectly normal. Your mind always digs up the memories of your last relation and it won't stop until you get into another relation. Just take it as a natural process, don't do anything about it, it's really normal and with time it won't bug you or anything. It's just the same thing with sex fantasies.. most of the times you remember your last sex partner.Quote:
My mind still likes to bring back memories of us, theme seems to be intimate memories which hurt a bit. Not sure why my mind likes those so much, but they do suck because the natural progression is from my intimate memories to her "making new ones" with someone else. There goes the assumptions again...
So keep hanging on there with your head up :) Same goes to all the rest, good luck guys!
Hey guys I might be back with my ex but I'm sticking around because I want to support everyone and lets be honest, there's a chance I could be back here again sometime in the future.
I'm still here guys so count me in :)
Same for me guys,Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa1985
I am in high school, I'll be back here hundreds of times before I find the 'one.' I am enjoying the relationship while it lasts. But who knows, maybe this will be one of those 3% of high school sweetheart relationships that make it through to marriage. Yeah, I looked up statistics...
But good luck with your NCs! And I'll hang around with Zoo to support you guys, and I may ask a little advice here and there if you don't mind.
Thanks guys,
And good luck
Hi all I am still here. Trying hard with the NC thing. Speaking with my ex last week was not a good thing for me looking back. Part of me now wants her to just tell me to PISS OFF! At least then I feel that I would know there is no chance in hell of anything coming back. So I figure if I start calling all the time she will eventually get so mad she will say "go away creep." I think I deserve an explanation of why I got dumped! At least if I made her mad then I could justify it to myself. I mean this really sucks.
To all of you who are back with you ex's good stuff and I wish you all the best. I am meant to see my ex this weekend I guess. I really have mixed feelings about the whole thing.
Hey guys!
So I don't know if you guys remember me, but I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, and the no contact has been non existent.. we still talk and this weekend we went camping together, and while it was an amazing time that I will never forget, I don't think it was the best idea... I realized I'm still upset and angry at him for what happened and it's confusing him that we're spending time together..
Relationship are SO CONFUSING!! I just don't really think we are both ready for no contact now, believe me I know it's the right thing to do, but I just don't think we can do it at this point. I'm not 100% sure if we're going to be broken up forever.. just riding the waves. And trying to figure things out..
Just wanting to express my thoughts. Thanks guys
Express away lol
I have to ask though, is NC the right thing to do right away? Don't get me wrong I know it helps but maybe we tell people to start it a little to early and so the chances of getting back together slim wayyyy down.
Maybe NC should be started after a few weeks or month, that way you won't ruin any chance you may have.
This is just my opinion of course.
Wishful thinking buddy.Quote:
Originally Posted by f104
A lot of the time an explanation is hard to come by. Not because they hate you or want you to suffer, but they don't know. Something just "wasnt right". I don't believe that a lot of breakups happen because one parter hates something about the other partner, though there are some.
She might not be able to give a good answer for the question "Why?", nor one that you want to hear. It's not really in your best interest to go digging for answers which might not exist.
Bigbird what you say makes perfect sense. I need to move on from this. She has left things not totally closed which sucks as I still have hope. I am wondering if I should just e-mail of leave a message on her phone telling her I cannot sit in limbo like this and that since she does not seem to be able to shut the door on this then I will. At least that way I will have closure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa1985
I tend to think people need to live through it once or twice first to realize that early NC is the right thing to do.
At times, it seems like you can reach a quick reconciliation with your ex by keeping contact. But have you ever stopped to think about the implications of keeping contact? You keep the ex feeling guilty, you keep them thinking about you and what you did wrong. You keep them thinking about the loyalty and comfort that existed between the two of you, none of which makes it any easier.
Sure, the chances of them coming back might be a little higher if you keep interjecting yourself into their life, but what are the chances that it will last? It happened to me...
Last spring my ex and I broke up and were apart for about 4 months. I keep light contact with her, probably once a week, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less... It was a confusing time for me, and it hurt like hell. I was at th epoint of breaking. My grades suffered, I lost a lot of weight and I wasn't myself. I spent too much time worrying about what she was doing and who she was with. Why? BECAUSE I WAS TALKING TO HER.
Anyway, we got back together and things were "okay" for about 9 months or so. Then, lo and behold, she dumped me again 2 months ago...
So guess what? It was great, I felt on top of the world when she came back to me. I kept myself in her life and told myself that NC was for fools. It didn't work, it was a ploy to make me unhappy and everyone was just trying to get me down (well not really, but.. ).
Turns out, the problems still existed. They came back and plagues the "new" relationship we had and ended it once again...
Not sure if that really addresses your point, but its how I feel about it.
(I cannot lie, however. At times I want to make contact with my ex even now for exactly the reasons I cited. I want her to miss me, think about me, and feel sad. I want her to text me and say "I made a huge mistake..." Its immature, its unreasonable, but its how my mind works.)
Hi F104,Quote:
Originally Posted by f104
Are you still going to see her this weekend? If so, I would have a face to face discussion with her, and really lay it out.
Hi starlite I don't know. I have not heard from her since Wednesday. I am wondering if she just answered the phone then by accident. I tried calling her twice yesterday and again this afternoon and still no response. I don't know if I can keep doing this it is tearing me up inside. I feel like a plance circling before trying to land at an airport.
Again, I call it wishful thinking. I never really got closure from her, and it sucks a bit. She sent me an email a month ago and I didn't respond. I still wonder to this day if she didn't get a response and said to herself: "He must be pissed at me, I guess I have to move on and forget about ever talking to him again." That thought hurts me, but it would be better than her keeping me hanging on (intentionally, or not) by talking to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by f104
She left things open. - So what. The way I see that is maybe you ended on good enough terms for you to meet again in the future and be friends. My ex and I ended very amicably if I do say myself. We weren't arguing, we weren't yelling. She talked, I listened and I understood. No begging, no crying, no pleading. I asked her to see me that day (since she dumped me on the phone) a few times more than necessary probably - but I think that left it very open for us to be friendly in the future.
I get angry with her in my head at times, but then I stop and realize that I am getting angry for reasons which I have created in my head. Not real reasons.
Hi Zooropa,Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa1985
Thank you :) I wish you all the best. I hope things work out for you!
I know exactly how you feel. It really sucks when you try and communicate with them (the ex's) after plans are made, and they don't even respond/call/contact you. I still haven't gotten a response from my ex (from the text I sent him Sunday). Fun, isn't it? The fact that we love them so much, and we are in pain, and they don't even give a f*&^!Quote:
Originally Posted by f104
Sorry guys, I'm venting on behalf of F104 and myself, and all of us for that matter.
Well.... I called my ex last Thursday cause I got a missed call... still don't know who it is =/
Anyways, my ex is moving to SF =/~ I feel like sh*t cause my friend lives in SF & her campus department is 10-20min drive away... omfg
but yeh...I'm still looking at my career as a street-racer/drifter, military career, and psychologist/family consulting/child issues...
Hi HJpan,
I know it is hard because she is moving away, but you know what? That isn't necessarily a bad thing for you. When distance is put between people (ex's), it could help the healing process. Even though she is moving close to your friend, it is still not close to you, right?
Again what you makes sense. A buddy of mine saidQuote:
Originally Posted by bigbird213
"you want closure? It is over! There I have just given you clousue now you must try to move on and do the next right thing"
I know you all are right. I guess I am still hoping and I want that hope smashed. I don't want to be pining after her for months like I have over past relationships. I don't like loose ends.
Yes I am going to try and go back to NC. It will be hard but I know I can do it.
You can, F104. We will help you in any way we can :)
OK guys! So my ex msged me the other night out of the blue! I haven't talked in a long time. Last time we messaged each other was on the first, then I just bothered!. around 11 pm... just a simple... " hey...whats' up?"... that was Sunday night... Saturday night I went out with friends and I had such a blast and met this chix.. n we had beautiful night... with NC... I really realized that I'm getting her out of my system... n becoming indifferent... I m not even sure if I want us to even be back... oh well so I didn't text her back... I still haven't... I want to let her wonder... oh yeah and yesterday, I met up with a bunch of my beautiful looking girlfriends and played beach volleyball and went to the pool with my bro and other friend it was a blast... I guess my silence is starting to speak louder huh? Anyway her that drove her nutt and to the point she changed so many things on her Facebook.. etc... I don't give a... in fact I'm starting to realize that what I once thought was gold has now tarnished!. n oh yeah... I been working out... looking good... n u should have seen how many heads turned when I went out at the clubs... n that really hit me... to the point I was like why did I bother about this one?? even put up with her BS? She wanted me out of her life right?. well that's exactly what I am going to give her... anyway I'm going to play Vball again then some soccer!! hope you are all doing better... hang in there... I thought I wouldn't make it... but I think now I am stronger than ever... silence speaks volumes!! guys silence speaks volume!!
gg23 thanks for the post. It shows that there is life after an ex. I appreciate the positive outlook.
Starlite and everyboyd else glad you are all here too. I need to get over the whole "I will never meet another like her again" syndrome.
I know how you feel f104, and I'm still in that stage too. & I hate to admit it but I obviously still have a lot of false hope :(. I also agree, gg23's post gives hope to us all. One day we'll be able to look at them and not feel that burning desire and need for them... It's just hard to believe right now.
I've thought a lot about my ex in the past couple of days, not sure why. I think it's because we were texting each other last week and she said "chat soon hopefully".. bad news. Found out there now that she's away to France for a week, lucky her. It's her birthday next week, the day I go on holidays. Not going to bother texting her for it, I'm just going to let her contact me whenever she wants, I'll decide then if I'm going to reply.
Even if your ex contacts you, I wouldn't reply. I thought to myself "ohh one reply won't harm me" but I haven't been able to get her out of my head since!
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