Thanks losingit77, makes complete sense
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Thanks losingit77, makes complete sense
I don't know guys, today I'm really starting to get temptations to break N/C. I feel like I need a new girl to hang out with, to tell stuff to, to talk to.. I have no one in my life like that any more :(! I feel like just saying to her, "What's the point in this? Can't we just be friends?" or else getting back on the scene and look for a new girl to share love with.
I don't know, I'm in one of those moods. I picked up my memory box today, read all of the text messages we used to send each other and now I'm really missing it.. even a wee talk at the end of the day, someone to ask me how was my day.. I really miss it :(
DazT,Quote:
Originally Posted by DazT
We all have those temptations. Its just part of the process. You say you want to call and say "Can't we just be friends" but what you really mean is "Can't we talk so I can convince you to get back together with me". That's a slippery slope and will undoubtedly lead to worse heartache than your feeling now.
What you need to keep telling yourself is that this mood will pass. Almost every morning when I wake up I am in the same mood, but if you wait it out long enough it will eventually fade. Just make sure you don't do anything drastic when your high on emotions...
Hang in there
I'm on day 36 of NC. After I reached a month I took a look back and realized I improved a lot. I've been thinking about other things, new things, going on in my life. I do not have any intention of calling him or contacting him in any way. My main reason being because I have absolutely nothing to say to him. And I'm sure he doesn't want to hear from me.
After time went by and my head cleared I realized he wasn't the one. He wasn't all that I thought he was. I'm obviously not completely over the whole thing though. Sure, my feelings have died down, but I still think about him. I feel myself get jealous sometimes of the girl he's with now, even though I don't want him back.
Big Bird & Daz T,
I'm feeling the same way today. I have been dreaming of her several times a night. I wake up and lie there thinking of things I want to say to her. Just like Daz... I want to tell her we can be friends. But we all know that Big Bird is absolutely right! This would add more pain to our hearts. We were so used to confiding in each other before the break-up I don't know what to do. I've exhausted all of my close friends over the past few weeks trying to get them to tell me what to do. I think I'm looking for answers that no one can give me but myself. I am on day 23 of NC and it is still very hard not to call or text her.
I feel lonely and empty. There is so much that I wish I had done or said before the break-up. Any of that would not matter now anyway. It's too late.
I can't seem to let go. If I do contact her expecting a certain result or words that I want to hear and don't get them, It'll be like starting this pain all over again with more mental crap piled on.
It's So hard!
It was my first day today,or should I say this is my 536448 try at this.broke up 4-5 months ago (trying to not keep track when exactly).I just wanted to ask - should I say goodbye *again*,should I say just a casual bye and never write back (we had a LDR) or should I say I'm going into nc,please don't contact me?
Yea I broke my no contact again! Damn me. Oh well no one said it would be easy. Lets try again..
We've all broken NC before, so don't worry too much about it now. Just remember that feeling you had after you broke it (probably not good... defeated) and try to go farther this time. If NC was easy, we wouldn't be on this thread. Went 13 days on my last stretch. Now I'm on Day 8 so I know I can go farther than 13 so I'm focusing on making At least 30 this time.
I think I'm pretty good at NC :P
Man I suck! My ex helped us move some stuff in our flat yesterday I know it sounds dumb but he was pretty much the only one who could do it.. anyway so I see him and straig away he is telling me how amazing I look blah blah and I can't help it I love the way he constantly checking me out, stupid but I feel like at least I have that power over him.. so we flirt and all have a bit of fun during the moving and stuff and my flatmate offered to get him some dinner for helping out which he accepted and then it all leads to us sleeping together... I know it was dumb but well I wasn't really thinking but today it has messed with my head a bit. It was all pretty weird afterwards cause we just hung out for a while like old times, he told that isn't as strong about everything as he would like to be and it can see that he is hurting. I don't know how I feel today he asked me if we could see each other again this week...
I sat down with my ex before she left (we also had an LDR) and I told her that I think it would be best if we didn't talk to each other for awhile, she respected it very well. She had a new BF almost immediately after breaking up with me, which most definitely contributed to her not contacting me but non the less, she respected the NC.Quote:
Originally Posted by kaneda
If you do say that you want NC, try not to be a jerk about it... I told my ex "if you want to do this, then i just can't be your friend" she took it pretty hard and it sucks more than anything to see her cry, but I know now that it was for the best.
Everyone else... we all have those days, I had one yesterday, ME? After 4 months almost 5 of NC. But I've learned to tell myself that things are going to be better tomorrow. If you really need to talk to someone, just hug your mom, I don't know about everyone else's mother, but my mom loves it when I hug her because I rarely do it anymore, but I did last night and it made me feel loads better. Just tell yourself that things will get better tomorrow, and if they aren't better at first, don't lay in bed, get up! Start the day, do something, anything... I used to poke fun at my ex's slight OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), I've kind of developed OCD from always trying to find something to do.
Hang in there people, if you make it through the days where you really want to break NC, its totally worth it later in the days where you can't help but not care about what he/she is up to. When that happens, honestly, its bittersweet, you feel like you're really moving on, but its sad because they aren't there to see you move on and support you. And realizing that you don't need them or even want them.
@Dazt, if you want to tell her, write an email, but don't send it! There's a forum on here called "letters to our ex's" I even found it for you... https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...+to+our+ex%27s
Hey numb your quite the genius thinking about this nc discussion board lol it really works! I have been broken apart for about 7months and no contact for 5months... truth is it really was aweful at first ,but as the days go by you as a human being come to your senses .I do see her once in a while like in a mall or a bar (as she now lives minutes away from my house haha which really sucks to be her).that being said,the ex always thinks about you and they really do miss you remember they dumped us and that's why they have the guilt conscious in contacting us... theyre the one who chose the easy way out.so if you ever do see your ex ,they're always happy to see you just don't know how to say it (depending on the past relationship with them)but never mind them now they are the past and you my friends are the future.
Day 2 going strong for now.its only 1pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DazT
What do you have a memory box for? Pack them up, put them in storage. All of that stuff is in the past, if you keep living in the past you're going to let life pass you by. This girl was NOT your life, you don't need anyone in this life except for yourself. You were brought into this world alone and you will more than likely die alone. I can't recall exactly how long you dated her, or how old you are. But mentality was I was with my ex for almost 3 years and I am 21. So look, I was 18 when we got together, that means for the other 18 years I WAS FINE ON MY OWN as you will be too. DELETE those stupid text messages, THEY MEAN NOTHING ANYMORE!
I hope you don't take this to harshly, but sometimes we need a fire lit under our a*sess to get to the point we need to be.
Very true Rome mate, cheers for that. I was very hungover when I wrote that message, probably still drunk and I've noticed that drinking does me no good, it is probably delaying my recovery because it makes me think of her even more.
I was 15 when I started going out with her, now I'm 18. Two and a half years with a spoilt, immature brat with only the looks going for her... so why is it taking me so long to get over her? Not the same type of music, nothing really in common.. treated each other like shi* most of the time around the end. I don't know.
Not going to break contact, don't even have those temptations any more.. just yesterday because I was too hungover to think clearly.
Good for you Dazt! I know how you feel, me and my ex didn't have loads in common but still found common ground. I HATE spending money on useless things, she was over 2 grand in debt, she loves shopping, I hate shopping.. So it's true, opposites attract.
I'm glad you're deciding not to break no contact because it really would serve no good. I have been where you are, and it does get a lot better and easier. Just keep on the right path
Ahhh, same to myself. I hate spending money on myself, never mind other people! And she lost her job around 6 months before we broke up, and she was always looking me to buy stuff for her, which I really hated especially as we were fighting and all. I guess its her loss, I was being a mug for her, I'm nobodys fool any more.
I have now purchased my first car and am absolutely broke - loving driving though and have picked up lots of hot girls from it :D lol. She was always moaning about me not being able to drive so first thing I did when we broke up was started lessons and bought a car! Kick in the teeth for her eh? :D
I thought I would never find another "perfect" guy again, until I just started NC!
NC works wonders, you just have to give it time! Like the old saying, time heals all pains (emotional pains at least ;) )
I went from crying all the time, especially during the sweet little love conquers all movies, haha, to not even thinking about him! And after sitting back and letting go, over time it has made me realize that he wasn't "GREAT" and there really wasn't anything special about him that I can't find in some other guy!
Day 2 of reinstated N/C, was so bad last night I was home alone and was so close to txting him to come around after he asked if we could see each other this week. I know it would have just been for sex and meant nothing to him so am very glad I didn't! Yay for me.
Today is day 3.Day 2 - he wrote to me via an IM,I responded slowly,only to a few of the things he said until he finally asked me what up,said to stop acting this way and in the end god frustrated and stopped trying to talk to me.I kept polite and distant. So that's why I count yerterday as a success.
I would disagree with this 100% Some people do not care, bottom line. They are happy you are gone and that's just it. Even if you did nothing wrong, they find an excuse to be happy that you are out or their lives and for good.Quote:
Originally Posted by log
It's 8:56 a.m.. I got up about an hour ago after a night of getting drunk.. and I woke up with this really paranoid feeling.. I wanted to login to my ex's Facebook account though I don't know her password or anything.. I feel really odd today :/
Im at about a month of NC... it sucks that I still miss her sometimes.. the way she broke up with me was disgraceful.
Just looked it up.. 29 days of NC..
Quote:
Originally Posted by nickshehe
I would say if it's at all possible to stop the drinking do so, I feel booze has a depressive effect sometimes especially the morning after, I know it definatley does with me. It's nice to have a beer or whatever sometimes but I think it plays havoc with the emotions especially if you are in a delicate state emotionally after your break-up
Keep the NC up my friend, you will have days where it's worse, things will get better!!
Until now total NC - he's holding back on me,trying to get some revenge for yerterday and ususaly I gave it,well not this time brother
I think I am over the 60 day mark, but felt the need to give an update..
So lately my ex has been talking to my parents more and more, which I'm okay with because my mom and her were extremely close. Well I walked into my job coming back from break on Saturday and my ex was talking to my parents and my mom said something to me about our new night manager's hair cut and I said "he looks like a walking p*nis" and my ex starts cracking up and says "wow I have really missed your sense of humor" So I played it off and didn't respond. So I get home and my mom comes in and says "I know you don't want to know what me and Brianna talk about but I thought you would want to know this, she said that you have been looking really good lately" I just said "ok thanks" And then yesterday, out of no where, she unblocks me from AIM(which I thought I deleted all her screen names off my list) and I was just baffled by it, but no where near close to breaking NC
Congrats rome. Just to boost your morale this morning, there's a good chance that it can only get worse from here. It's OK. We'll be here.
My ex has stopped calling me!! It was an interesting 2 weeks. Yikes. Her last contact with me was when she emailed me to let me know that she still has some of my things (keyboard, laptop mouse, ethernet cord, mini-fridge, etc.) and she wants to know when we can meet up so she can give it back to me.
... didn't respond. Figured she'd get the message. I've already cut my losses.
I kind of know it might have a negative effect on me.. but when I'm out and I'm drinking I rarely think about her until I go home. Yesterday I was having the time of my life up until I went to go to bed :(
Rome, It's good that you've got the inner strength to resist her.. many of us would have probably been sucked in to a possible trap after a compliment or an attempt on her half to reach us..
Though I get spoken too on msn every few days, she doesn't really say anything substantial to me so its easy to shrug it off..
Yea, as far as I'm concerned every time she tries one of these things I just remind myself she has a boyfriend and it's not worth me stressing over.
I mean part of me wanted to IM her and just say some smarta*s remark about the unblocking but the more mature part said let sleeping dogs lie. So we shall see what's next because as Sneezy pointed out, it's only the beginning
Keep going as you have been guys, Rome,Nick,Sneeze
All doing great guns.
One day those exe's of ours will realise what great guys they let go, but that's there loss all round.
I'm doing much better, still think of her, but def not as much. Went on a date last week, was OK, but nothing will come of it as both not really interested in each other, but it's a step in the right direction.
Keep posting
Nada :)
He broke NC on sat, only because my jacket was still in his car. We met Sunday morning so I could pick it up. I tried to act normal, but I'm sure he sensed I was nervous. I left, like I normally did when we were friends. He sent me a text later, saying that he knows he has to give me an explanation but he's really confused from his side and mine, and he doesn't want to rush things. He said I'm very special and hopes I'm OK. I replied saying I know him very well, and he does owe me an explanation but I know he doesn't have one so there's no point in asking for it. As far as friendship, we were that first and will always be.. so if he ever needed to talk or smile, then I was just a text, call, or email away. He said he was bz and would text me later. Nothing since then. Now its getting harder because I'm left completely confused about everything. When he left me he said he didn't see us together and that he was trying to hard to fall in love. Now he says he's confused. I don't know what to believe, but I know I've lost my best friend. And after seeing him, I'm sure he feels the same way. But I've decided to maintain NC and its killing me, because I still need closure and don't know how to get it.
I think closure is all in our head... I felt I needed closure like nothing else, just an explanation,something.. all I got was that she just doesn't want to be with me anymore.. which means it was on her mind longer than I thought or imagined...
I know that some couples break up on good terms.. but I find it better to be angry at her.
No-shes not a witch for breaking up with me.. or getting bored of the relationship and wanting to move on..
But if she loved me like she claimed then we wouldve talked about this and we wouldve tried to sort this out.. So I don't excuse her and I am angry at her.
So,confusionmax, you should ask yourself what the conditions of your break up are.. and if you honestly want to be a text , call , or email away...
Because I honestly don't want to bump into my ex or hear from her ever again.
(Day 29 and I deleted her from Facebook by the way.. Next step?)
[u]HAS ANYONE TRIED TO CONTACT THEIR EX AND IT FLOPPED!??[u]
I think everyone has tried to contact their ex and had it flop... It's usually what makes them stick to NC the next time around
Word... every email/text I sent, I immediately regretted it after... its crazy how we try to convince ourselves that any good can come from it. "maybe if im sweet and nice, it'll make her think about how things were..." and anything else you tell yourself... it really is best to just let it go. Doesn't matter what they think or feel.Quote:
Originally Posted by Romefalls19
Here's an update on me... went out with a girl last night... bagged another crazy one... I'm on a roll... where are the decent girls that won't disappoint me and make me think of my ex?
West my man,
Good news to hear you well and truly on the dating circuit. I'm taking my time getting back in there , but will do soon.
They're will be a decent one out there, keep on trucking, you'll find her!
Day 10 of reinstated NC and I felt awesome all day. As I expected, yesterday was an awful sad day and then today I bounced back beautifully!
Still miss him like hell, but nothing I can do about it. Its kind of freeing to think, "well, nothing I can do about what happened so all I can do now is to focus on keepin' movin'". Its nice to have no responsibility in the situation.
Think this is Jiser's quote or something, but "by doing nothing, we can't make anything worse". Ah, serenity now!
At least I know I'm still a hot ticket, cause I have guys left and right asking me out... but I'm waiting at least a month to jump back into dating. Watch out for me come May 30th!
Westy, bagged another crazy one eh?
I'm on the other end... I'm chasing this hot but independent one... seems like she's playing games though. Been on three dates with her so far, I've always called, I've always made plans, etc. so I don't know... if she wants to see me, she can call.
As far as me contacting my ex... I did after 2 weeks of us breaking up. I found out that "new guy" was at her place at 5am... I was studying for finals... I broke. I IMed her only for her to yell at me for prying into her life.. yep. NC from there on out.
Wish I was having a good day am jealous... god I am sooo tempted to contact him today. After spending the afternoon together and then sleeping together again on Sunday (stupid I know) and him saying he wants to see me again this week. It ended with a text from me saying that I would give him a text this week to catch up but managed to hold off till now and really want to not text again because I know it sounds messed up but I am hoping that he is waiting for my text!!
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