Hey all,

Well my ex caught me today. She called me from her new place's house number and I thought it was family as I have family in the same town she lives in. We talked for about 30 minutes (wish I had cut it off a lot sooner). She told me about all the things she had been up to... I told her about all the fun things I had been doing... She didn't sound like the girl I remember which helped a little I guess, not someone that would interest me now a days. She said she was pretty lonely and didn't really know anyone there.

There were a few cheap shots I thought she shouldn't have said. 1) that she wished she had a boyfriend at grad with her to take pictures... (didn't say me... just a boyfriend) 2) That some really nice funny guy there liked her.

Just seems unnecessary to say those things to me, WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO KNOW!! Even though she broke my heart I would never say stuff like that to her... have some sense!

Also she mentioned how she still isn't sure if its over between us, she was still saying she was mixed up and wasn't sure. She said if she hadn't left town she would want to try again . (I think that's bull) I wish so much I had just said, "sorry it would take two for us to ever work again, and I don't want any part of it". Of course I didn't and made it seem like I was still interested.

Guaranteed that she won't call me for a long time, she got what she wanted out of me again and feels like I still want her so that should make her feel good for a bit.

I don't think it set me back too much but it is making it hurt a little. I wish they made a pill for getting over breakups, I really don't want to be thinking about this anymore!!

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Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

Hey all,

well my ex caught me today. She called me from her new place's house number and I thought it was family as I have family in the same town she lives in. We talked for about 30 mins (wish I had cut it off a lot sooner). She told me about all the things she had been up to.... I told her about all the fun things I had been doing... She didn't sound like the girl I remember which helped a little I guess, not someone that would interest me now a days. She said she was pretty lonely and didn't really know anyone there.

There were a few cheap shots I thought she shouldn't have said. 1) that she wished she had a boyfriend at grad with her to take pictures... (didn't say me... just a boyfriend) 2) That some really nice funny guy there liked her.

Just seems unnecessary to say those things to me, WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO KNOW!!!! Even though she broke my heart I would never say stuff like that to her... have some sense!

Also she mentioned how she still isn't sure if its over between us, she was still saying she was mixed up and wasn't sure. She said if she hadn't left town she would want to try again . (i think thats bull) I wish so much I had just said, "sorry it would take two for us to ever work again, and I don't want any part of it". Of course I didn't and made it seem like I was still interested.

Guaranteed that she won't call me for a long time, she got what she wanted out of me again and feels like I still want her so that should make her feel good for a bit.

I don't think it set me back too much but it is making it hurt a little. I wish they made a pill for getting over breakups, I really don't want to be thinking about this anymore!!!!!

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She wants to get a reaction out of you bro. She knows that you still care and that she still means a lot to you. Don't let her get to you. Plus now that you know the number she is calling you from, it should be easier to ignore it.
When she says that she isn't sure of what's going on between you two, she is trying to string you along. She wants to go enjoy herself while at the same time make sure you're still around if there isn't anything good out there.
It's perfectly fine to be thinking about this. The more you think about it, the more you start to realize who they really are and what they are really doing to you. Don't try to block her out of your mind, try to understand her actions, and intentions while wanting what is best for you.

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Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

Hey all,

well my ex caught me today. She called me from her new place's house number and I thought it was family as I have family in the same town she lives in. We talked for about 30 mins (wish I had cut it off a lot sooner). She told me about all the things she had been up to.... I told her about all the fun things I had been doing... She didn't sound like the girl I remember which helped a little I guess, not someone that would interest me now a days. She said she was pretty lonely and didn't really know anyone there.

There were a few cheap shots I thought she shouldn't have said. 1) that she wished she had a boyfriend at grad with her to take pictures... (didn't say me... just a boyfriend) 2) That some really nice funny guy there liked her.

Just seems unnecessary to say those things to me, WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO KNOW!!!! Even though she broke my heart I would never say stuff like that to her... have some sense!

Also she mentioned how she still isn't sure if its over between us, she was still saying she was mixed up and wasn't sure. She said if she hadn't left town she would want to try again . (i think thats bull) I wish so much I had just said, "sorry it would take two for us to ever work again, and I don't want any part of it". Of course I didn't and made it seem like I was still interested.

Guaranteed that she won't call me for a long time, she got what she wanted out of me again and feels like I still want her so that should make her feel good for a bit.

I don't think it set me back too much but it is making it hurt a little. I wish they made a pill for getting over breakups, I really don't want to be thinking about this anymore!!!!!

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Tell her that you slept with several girls.

That will definitely shut her up for a bit =]

NNG,

You are right to wonder why she would tell you these things. I have to agree with spion that she is trying to get a reaction out of you. Don't over analyze anything she said. You know that it was all bs and she was just saying whatever she could to get a reaction. Who knows if any of that is true.

For all you know, she made the bit up about the guy liking her and she was waiting for you to reduce to a driveling fool, but you didn't. That might be eating her up now, it might not. It doesn't matter - keep on the NC path, and you will be feeling better soon.

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Originally Posted by bigbird213

NNG,

You are right to wonder why she would tell you these things. I have to agree with spion that she is trying to get a reaction out of you. Don't over analyze anything she said. You know that it was all bs and she was just saying whatever she could to get a reaction. Who knows if any of that is true.

For all you know, she made the bit up about the guy liking her and she was waiting for you to reduce to a driveling fool, but you didn't. That might be eating her up now, it might not. It doesn't matter - keep on the NC path, and you will be feeling better soon.

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If she wants to be treated like a child, NNG should treat her like one.

Guys & girls..

I am sorry D:

I broke the NC... my ex called, but I did not pick up. Well, I looked at the missed call and it was my ex. Stupidly, I called back and we started talking. I spoke little and listened to her life. Maybe I am too lenient and laid-back so I called her. I do not know why =/

there was nothing much going on except she is going her way of life and told me her plan of getting a MacPro for computer animation class, working to earn some money, and moving out of her parents' place.

that was about it...

BUT.. I did asked her why she called and to my surprise, she was bit stunned and told me that she cares for her friends and wanted to see how I was doing.

Yea, well hjpan, it always crosses your mind that you could say that, I know it would definitely make her feel horrible. But its not me, birds right, even though she has hurt me I don't want to hurt her. I am better than that and won't sink down to her level. Chances are she is going to go through this one day, so I will let karma take care of things... and then she'll know how it feels. And I wouldn't be surprised if she called me when it did.
Who knows how honest she was about things, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's a lie. But I am not even going to think about that. And advice to everyone else, don't think of the "what ifs" "could ofs" "what they're doins"and the "maybes"... You don't have control over any of these things and allowing them to take over your mind will make you miserable. '

Lets just toss this experiences into the ol NC fire.. Should keep it burning for a while longer.



Hjpan,

Well it seems your ex has just thrown you into the friends category without your permission. She still misses you a lot but obviously just wants to be friends. So being friends for her is great. She gets to talk to you and make herself feel better because she misses you, as well as lessen her guilt for hurting you. And what do you get Hjpan, your ex telling you that their life is OK... meaning OK without you!

That last line was something "told me that she cares for her friends and wanted to see how I was doing."

You're not friends right now, not until you are ready to be friends. All this has done has just made her feel good and you upset... And don't friends not make friends upset?

Hit the NC hard!

hjpan,

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she was bit stunned and told me that she cares for her friends and wanted to see how I was doing.

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Your in the friendzone and if your not happy with it, stop calling back, and be unavailable until you can let go of the idea of a relationship.

NNG,
You handled her fishing expedition really well, No Info about your personal feelings as she gave that right away.

Most people who go thru No Contact, and are healing or have moved on, really don't want to go backwards, as they see their exes in a realistic light, and not from a pedestal.

I agree Tal, I thought I wanted to go back with my ex. Then I heard of some rumors, so naturally I confronted her on them. We ended up talking on the phone for an hour and after we hung up, I said to myself. She's not the same girl, why would I want to go back to someone like her. I've spent the last 6 months bettering myself, fixing what she said was broken, and now that I am "fixed" I feel better about myself and can close that chapter of my life. It felt good to put HER in the friends zone while she still "misses me"

Trust me guys, everything comes full circle in a break up... No Contact was the best thing I have ever done!

I don't want my ex back either... I'm still hurt but I don't want anything to do with him.He is not the person I thought he was, I was so wrong about him. He seriously dissapointed me!! Like I've said before I miss what we "had", but not really the person... I still think about him, but less than before.. I guess time does heal.. Little by little but we're getting there!

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Originally Posted by damaged

I don't want my ex back either...I'm still hurt but i don't want anything to do with him.He is not the person i thought he was, i was so wrong about him. He seriously dissapointed me!!!!.Like i've said before i miss what we "had", but not really the person...I still think about him, but less than before..I guess time does heal..Little by little but we're getting there!!

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Good for you! :D You are doing great. Believe me, I know how you feel about missing. It's because they were a part of our lives for a long period, and we always think that 'Hey, this could be it', and then Whammo! It's the void that hurts us most, I guess..

Yea.. it sucks because they just left all of the sudden, so we're left with this emptiness feeling... but we just need to get used to being alone & enjoy singlehood.. lol

How are you feeling today star?. BETTER!. I hope so:D

Guys, I screwed up... I just texted him... Hasn't responded yet.. I just texted to say hi and to find out about the concert... I'm a little nervous..

[QUOTE=damaged]yea.. it sucks because they just left all of the sudden, so we're left with this emptiness feeling... but we just need to get used to being alone & enjoy singlehood.. lol


That's true, need to get used to being single, and enjoying it, and focusing on what you have got in your life, not what you haven't. Doing well guys, and Rome great to read your last post, your doing great man.

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Originally Posted by damaged

yea..it sucks bc they just left all of the sudden, so we're left with this emptiness feeling...but we just need to get used to being alone & enjoy singlehood..lol

How are you feeling today star??..BETTER!!..i hope so:D

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Hi Damaged..

I sent him a text about an hour ago... I know that was definatley not the smartest thing to do... I haven't heard back from him yet..

How are you doing?

Star, did you still want to go to that concert!

Hi NNG,

Yes, a big part of me does. Especially since the last time we spoke, (two and half weeks ago), he asked if I am still going to the concert and was looking forward to me going. I know I have to be so strong, as I didn't get a response from him yet from my text today. I really hope that he reciprocates in a positive way..

Im doing good!. wondering why you texted him! :eek:... but I understand you.. Its hard not txting/calling but you got to be strong... try to trick yourself or something... you could write his name but with a friend's number so when you feel like txting him, instead of him you'll txt your friend.. IDK:rolleyes:... lol... Just try to be strong; you mayy not get a response!

The last time you spoke with him who contacted whom?.

Thanks Damaged. That is a good idea too! I have to be strong.. and I need to be strong...