DazT:

Well, you can understand why she'd think you did that... because you slept in her bed. I'm not so sure that I'd sleep in my ex's bed... even if she wasn't there. You could just as easily have said "Nothing. I didn't do anything," instead of the semi-belligerent "I'm over you...quit texting me...etc" however, what's done is done.

I wanted to convince her that it wasn't me that did it though. And hey, I would never do something like that in a normal state of mind, just I was drunk and I regret it.

Hahah that's funny :D
ISneezeFunny is right though..
Still funny :D

Yeah, pretty funny.. in my life, I rarely have a dull moment. No idea why..

But I'm starting to regret going to that houseparty! You learn from your mistakes though.

Okay guys, I'm feeling awful bad about what I text her today.. I don't want to be on bad terms with her.. so do you think I should write her a text message with something like this:

"Im sorry about earlier.. I dont want to be on bad terms with you and if I walked past you in the street Id like to be able to say hello. There isnt no point in being enemies"

What you lot think?

Uhm I feel that way too.. like I loved this girl and we were really good friends for so long but now I'm just not talking to her... but I think my well-being is more important than staying on good terms with her..
Besides, in my case she was a total bi*ch too me when we broke up.. no one has ever been as cruel too me.. so I don't see why I should bother being the nice guy.. I don't know what your case is, but for you to be on this site I'm assuming you're the one that has been dumped.. so I don't see why you should be the nice guy either.

I agree with Nick.

100%

You don't have to be a nice guy, but I'm just saying that I've gone that route of being the @sshole and in the end, it really isn't worth it. It's better for the both of you (you especially) if you brush her off without being the @sshole.

I sent the text message, trying to end things on good terms. She replied that she wanted to be able to say hello to me on the street as well and we ended it like that.

I feel much better now and can start N/C once more.

Just to clarify I didn't mean be an.. I just meant "dont bother".
But whatever if you feel better about sending the text then fair play :)
I just hope you don't see her down the street and won't have to say hello.

Well I went to college today and it was her time to come back after the easter break. At around 11ish she sent me a text saying 'i hear congrats is in order for a lot of things. Are you in?' I didn't reply, I just went off to the library where she only ended up being. So I spoke to her mtes for a bit and her all toggtehr as a group as the whole library congfratulated me on a number of things. Soon as her mates left it was just me and her, I put my headphones in and ignored her and got down to work. I looked up to ask for the date to our librarian who I thought was there, and my ex was quick to answer. I said thanks and put my headphones back in. then she soon left when I started chatting to a girl in my year. And there we have it... the saga starts again... oh joy.

GRRR... she just contacted me again saying 'i know we're doing the whole no contact thing, I'm trying to respect that but I just want to say I'm really pleased for you. Things couldn't be better I bet!'... shes referring to my career success atm. I haven't replied... shud I even bother? I have to see her around college tomorrow.

A plain simple "thanks" won't hurt I guess..
If you see she's making it a habit of trying to contact you then you should cut the string

Yea I was thinking a simple 'thanks' would do... which I think would drive her even more mad
Than nothing haha.

Aghhhh! She just sent another text saying 'no worries, just wished we didn't have to see each other' I know what she means... she means its just hard. But I'm not replying that.

God I make myself mad, I heard something about him and a girl I know and I was apsolutley gutted about the whole thing and I know I did the wrong thing but I txtd him to ask if it was true. He toatlly denied it and got a bit why that I would even think that, I left it at that and said thanks have a good day. Anyway it just makes me mad I am not stronger, I wish I could remember how I was not very happy with him in the first place and how it annoyed me he always wanted to see me and I just wanted my own life... now I don't have that I am sad... I just have to keep on reminding myself that I am young, healthy, have amazing friends and even OK looking... eekk that sounds vain! And one day I will find someone else who loves me but until then I just have to enjoy being on my own... that sounds all so easy in writing if only I could really believe it lol!

Day 2 of reinstated NC (after a 13 day stretch blown). Actually feeling pretty good. Imagining myself over the next couple of months focusing on me and whatever I want to do. Seeing my ex the other day actually made me realize he's not so spectacular! God! He should be chasing me not the other way around.

Just got to remember that life goes on and is going on as I speak and that my life is not over because I lost someone. There will be many more where he came from. If I can feel that love for him than one day I will be able to feel that again if not better for someone who deserves and will return those feelings towards me. One day! Got to remember, this isn't a race... it's a journey.

We're all in this together... most of the time though I feel myself needing/missing company.. and not necessarily hers.. Like when I'm bored and I have nothing to do its when I start thinking about her, and thinking that if someone else was in the picture it wouldn't be so hard...
I'm whoring myself atm keeping my options open. *thumbs up*

Ooook.. so after Day 9 of N/C.

And the whole weird text from him "I'll call soon. I can't now. I'll explain later." And after he knew I was molested, etc.

As I posted before, Saturday he was out with a girl I hate (and I know he doesn't even like) and my brother saw him.

And TONIGHT he texts me and is like "How are you?"

Ugh. I am SO not responding. Him. Blatantly disrespectful jerk.

Well, I'm back. Tal and losingit you were both right. I appreciate you seeing me through with a clear head while I'm blinded. Not only did I never get lunch she hasn't even come to eat outside my office for the last couple of days so I'm back on day 4 of NC and worse yet no free lunch.

Hang in there chuff...

I'll bring you some lunch

Hang in there chuff! You've been through this before, you'll be fine! Day 3 of reinstated NC. Sad, but I'll live. 57 days to go!

I am so depressed. I hate him. I hate him.

I wish I didn't love him anymore. I just want to NOT feel ANYTHING FOR HIM.

Day 10. Feeling like crap. Still.

I know how you feel Nicole but honestly you are being so strong after 10 days... that is an awesome effort. I am only on day 3 after reinstated n/c when I cracked and text him so just be strong... keep yourself busy go out for dinner with friends go to the gym anything that takes your mind off him for a little while and then you when you start to realise you have not thought about him for a little while even a few hours you will realise it can be done...

Nicole... you're going to feel like crap for awhile. Break-ups are one of the hardest things to deal with, especially if you thought you had something special. Its been like 4 months or something for me and I still have days where I feel like crap. I meet girls that I think are great at first, but then I get annoyed by them easily or they turn out to be crazy, and it just makes me think about my ex. How we got along so well, and everything was just great when we were together... I haven't given up hope that there's a girl out there who will give me that same feeling, if not stronger... but sometimes it feels like I'll never get it back.

Hang in there, NC works great... after awhile you won't be able to help but not care. When I realized that I don't really care what she's up too anymore, I cried... it was really sad to me when I realized that I don't think about her the same anymore, or that I ever will, and that I would be just fine without her. But ill get over it, I've gotten over the worst of it (thats where you are! :D, lol)

I feel exactly the same about meeting other guys, I go out and get attention or what ever and then just end up thinking no one is going to live up to how amazing he is or was to me and I think that gets me on the biggest downer of all... It has been 3 months for me I should be over this but we didn't do N/C we went the other way kept on sleeping together and that just prolongs everything so the more you don't speak the better it is to forget about them, even though forgeting about them is sometimes the scariest part of all...

We're all going through the same thing. I've gone on dates with 2 different guys since my break-up and both "on paper' are WAY better than my ex. But everything they say or do, i try to compare to my ex and say "it doesn't feel the same" or "that's not what my ex would say/do". We have to remember to think with our heads sometimes rather than our hearts. Think about your ex, rationally. If you do that, you'll probably start to think, "hey, they're not so great... they're not perfect". You'll never forget them, but over time and with NC you'll see them for who they really are... just a person like everyone else... We all somehow managed to live a probably pretty happy life before our ex's came into the picture and somehow we'll be able to do the same some day after they have left.

I write this so I'll remember this when I'm feeling down. Day 3 of reinstated NC.. after a 13 day stretch. God, I wish some of you guys were in the NYC area cause I'd meet up with you and we could have a lonely hearts session. : )

I know how weird is that we build them up in our heads like they are superstars or something.. esp for me because when we were together he annoyed me a lot and we didn't agree on much but the old "dont know what you got till its gone" kicks in or most probably missing the comfort part and then I miss him so much well I miss something. I am meant to be going on a date with a guy I used to see a couple of years ago he is really great and we get on well but I am am a bit worried cause he is sooo different to my ex and I know I will constantly be comparing them.

Day 3 reinstated just like me... sux ay!! I am in New Zealand so very far away what is the time over there?

New Zealand ay... just over the water from me len21

Well today is another complete day 1 of NC. Ive been weak. I will go a day without making contact and then the next day I fall apart and do something dumb like text. So I found this thread today and I'm on DAY 1 again. I'm going to try and stay strong and hope she realizes all her wrong decisions and will talk to me some day. But for now I'm trying to stay strong and do my own thing. Wish me luck!

Good luck c-rocker. Hopefully you have learnt that every time you make contact it takes you back to square one...

Yea I have finally realized that... took a good month but I got it now

You should wish she doesn't talk to you... Im about 3-4 weeks of NC.. She's been contacting me every 3-4 days and I don't reply.. its been about 3 days since she last tried but I hope she gets the message..
If she contacts me and I reply, we'll end up talking, and ill probably get frustrated at things... maybe our conversation will go great and ill miss her.. and just generally go back a few steps..
So no you shouldn't wish she talks to you some day.

All right I'm on day 2 of NC and again just like every morning I woke up missing her and wanting her. If waking up wasn't such a hard reality to face I think I would be getting along a little better. The last time we texted each other she got my hopes up that we'll talk and then the next day she changed her mind (playing games) so the last things I said to her was that she was a cold hearted and that I hated her for the things she's putting me through. Kind of wish that wasn't the last note I left on to start the NC

It shouldn't matter what the last thing you two said was...
The last thing I said to my ex was... "alright goodnight , have fun :) "
And then I just decided.. its not worth it.
So yeah.
NC is the way to go.
Wouldve saved me a lot of time coping with my first hard break up if I knew the benefits.

Day 4 of reinstated N/C! Am feeling very positve today and looking forward to the long weekend just have to keep away from the drunk txting to the ex and I will be fine. Have a great weekend everyone:-)

Lost count... I think it's been about 4 months now.

... the calls stopped, so I guess she got the message.

... doing pretty well. 1 week before I graduate (eek)!!

I keep thinking, what happens if she calls me.. I deleted her number so chances are I'm going to pick up.. ill probably tell her I'm busy and I'm doing something and ill call her back later or something and I won't..
I guess I'll worry about it when it happens :/

Was speaking on the phone to my ex there the other day - easier than I thought! Had to phone call her to explain the whole destroying the photographs thing lol. I just explained and she believed me so I said bye. Then she text me saying I sounded so different on the phone and tried to start a conversation through texts, so I just text her "Do I sound different after only a month? Lol good night x" and that was that.

No contact again. I'm feeling really positive, I'm only 18.. I have my whole life to live and plenty of time to find love! Real love though, not puppy love. The weekends are great aren't they?

Hhhhmmm...
I was catching up on posts. Here are some quick thoughts: I think the hardest part of breakups is not only missing the comfort aspect of the relationship, but, as westy and others mentioned, facing the reality that you will eventually forget that person or at least the strong feelings that you once associated with them. In the large scheme of your life, they will be but a small blur. That's certainly what killed me/made me unable to let go. It's painful, but facing the music is a crucial part of the healing process.

And yes, I still think about the ex every now and then. I'm sure (and hope) he's doing fine. :) I have no desire to contact/see him, however, and I probably never will to be honest. I'm okay with that though.

So keep it up! Don't break NC or else you'll be worse off than when you first started. I hate to be so corny and am embarrassed to use this hackneyed analogy, but think of it as a freshly stitched up wound. Every time you make contact with the ex is the equivalent of ripping out the sutures. Switching back and forth between contact and NC only makes the wound worse. Ouch.