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Alten, you're correct. I suppose the only thing we can do is sit back and educate our children on the facts, the consequences, etc.
And Ana, I never said ALL KIDS or ALL CHILDREN. As I said before, I apologize if I offended anyone. I'm just curious. Also I have seen The Secret Life and so far it has shown many things that teen mothers go through. So that's one good show.. .
I'm going to pop in here.
First to Jennifer, I understand your concern here. But I'm a little bothered by this quote; "The earlier these kids are learning about sex, it seems like the earlier they want to have sex. I don't believe that kids that're in the 7th and 8th grade should honestly know about sex". This is totally out of touch and impractical. The reason why people advocate sex education earlier and earlier is a RESULT of the epidemic in teen pregnacies, not the cause of it. The rationale behind sex ed is to prepare children for having sex, to help them understand the physical, emotional and social issues that surround it.
The media bombards kids with sex. But not with how to deal with it. Pushing sex ed back to a later age, will only leave kids unprepared.
Not that I advocate sex. I have said many times, that NO one, no matter what the age, should be engaging in sexual intercourse until they are physically, financially and emotionally ready to have a child. Someone earlier talked about being intimate but without penentration. That's they way to go, In my opinion.
Now to Ana, I think you were way offbase with your rants here. I don't think Jennifer was making too borad generalizations that should have offended you. You yourself have admitted that it's a problem, so why attack just because you have managed to rise above the problem?
I don't have a magic solution for this problem. I definitely feel that parental guidance is too often missing when kids turn to sex. I definitely feel that education is a help not a cause. I also feel the media needfs to be more responsible, but I'm afraid the cat is out of that bag.
Scott, I agree, wish I could give you a greenie.
The sad fact is that many teens, heck even some 20 something's, don't know a lot about sex, the consequences, or even how a child is conceived. Some people still think that the pull out method is a legitimate form of birth control.
We actually had a 21 year old on this site asking if she could be pregnant because she gave her boyfriend oral sex. Really?
It's up to the parents to prepare their children for the world. Sex ed is a must, but even with sex ed it seems that many young people aren't being given enough information to make informed decisions about sex.
So, if your parents won't talk to you about sex, your school is only giving you the basics, where do you go? Many come here for answers, others, well, they try and learn, often it's a very hard lesson.
I'd rather that my kids are informed. Am I advocating that they have sex? No. I'm informing them of something that will be a natural part of their lives. I'm teaching them the consequences of entering into a sexual relationship. Will this stop them from having sex? I don't know, but I'd rather they have safer, informed, educated sex then just, oops, I hope that it's okay sex.
Did that make sense to anyone? I hope so. ;)
I laughed my rear end off reading this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ana52408
First of all, I've BEEN 15. Talk to me when you've been going out with that boyfriend for 2 years and you're still a virgin---because THAT isn't going to happen.
You never curse? Really? You had a curse word deleted above (or some sort of vulgarity), and the last I checked the word "pissed" is a curse word.
And you're usually respectful? If this post is an example of that, I'll have to point out that your entire post sounds like a sulky teenager that doesn't have a clue what the real world is like--because this isn't respectful in the real world.
So honey---Let's do this: we (the adults) will stop calling teenagers irresponsible sex machines with no freaking clue, and you (the teenagers) will stop using our (the adults) taxes to support those babies that you (the teenagers) were too stupid and ignorant to prevent to begin with.
People think that if a parent raises you and teaches you to refrain from sex and tells you that you better not do it, it doesn't work. I have very strict parents who told me I bettter not have sex until I graduate from high school. I'm a junior in high school and I've already lost my virginity, and although it was a bad decision, I think I did it because my parents told me not to do it and were just so strict about everything. It was also the peer pressure from my friends and kids I go to school with, and the guys I hung out with, and boyfriends. When you hear about other people doing it, you kind of want to see how it is. You hear its good, you want to see for yourself. I think instead of parents preaching to their kids to stay virgins, they need to not instill fear into them, but rather tell them if they are thinking about having sex, talk to them and they will not be mad at them. Tell them you want to be a part of their life, and you want them to talk to you about everything. If kids know they can go to their parent about things, they won't be scared to. It will keep more young teens from getting pregnant and getting std's. Parents shudnt just say "oh go out and have sex with whoever u feel like" they should tell them, if they are going to have sex, it should be with someone they love and maybe want to spend the rest of their life with. They should get them birth control and help them out. I definitely think that sex before 16 is kind of ridiculous thou. Parents should tell their kids to wait before then, but not be so strict and stern and put fear into them.
Scott, I do believe that they should be tought about these things. I'm the eldest child of seven and one of my sister is in the tenth grade and she has told me that her health teacher doesn't say too much about sex but she gives the kids information in packets and on overhead projectors and that's it. She also told me that her health teacher has said "sex is good just not for you guys". I just think that health teachers should give more information than this is a penis, this is a vagina and this is a condom. They should be talking about the emotions that come with sex and/or love making.
Alten, that did make sense to me. I'd also rather have my kids know the facts and consequences if they're going to have sex. Like you said, I'm not saying they should, but I'd rather them know what they need to know.
DbranikaC , I also agree with what you said.
Thanks for posting since you have the actual experience with this.
And thanks to everyone else posting!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Synnen
I am going to second this answer.
Its not about human growth and development.
I'm 13 about to turn 14 this march 29 and
I had sex with my boy friend about 3 times.
Its not an experiment you just get caught in the
Moment. Its nothing bad, its natural.. its feels good
Too :) I kind of regret it but I'm OK with it, I haven't told my mom or dad.. just family and I'm not guna.
Sex is natural, do it with someone you love. Me
And my boyfriend have been together for 1 year after high skool we're getting married, he's honest.
He doesn't push me to do anything I don't want to do.
Iloveyou david
-brittney <3
Quote:
Originally Posted by brittneebaaam
You're 13 years old, having sex, and you think this is natural? So is pregnancy.
Out of your whole post, this is what stuck out the most.Quote:
I kind of regret it but I'm OK with it
So you think you're in love, you plan to get married to this boy after high school, and that makes it okay for you to have sex at the age of 13? You do realize that it's not even legal for you two to be having sex, right? Why do you think that is?
If you're so in love with each other then what's the rush? Won't you still be in love when you're older, more responsible, ready to have a child?
This is the type of thing that scares me as a parent, because I've been your age, thought I knew it all, found out the hard way that I didn't know anything.
Well, you just pretty well proved why teenagers shouldn't have sex. Job well done.
Exactly Judy. Sadly, most of the other teens won't see it as that, they'll think, hmm, this 13 year old child is having sex, only sort of regrets it, maybe I should do it too.Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Whatever happened to chastity belts? I think we should bring them back. :(
First it IS about growth and development. You show your immaturiuty by thinking otherwise. You say its natural and that's why, because you and your boyfriend have both reached an age where your bodily development makes sex enjoyable and when hormones increase the sex drive.Quote:
Originally Posted by brittneebaaam
Second you say its not an experiment, but in doing so, you are denying your impulses. The first time you had sex, you did so because you were doing things that stimulated you. You had not felt such stimulation before so you wanted to experiment with what you were feeling.
Third, sex is not bad, but, at your age, it is wrong. If it wasn't why would you "kinda regret it"? And why would you not tell your parents about it? What you are really doing is lying to yourself.
Fourth, at your ages you really don't know what love is. You just haven't had the experience to. Maybe you and your boyfriend will stick together and get married someday, but the odds are way against it.
Finally, and here comes the biggie. Are you using protection? What happens if you get pregnant? What do you think you are going to do at 14 with a baby? And if that happens, there is a possibility your boyfriend will go to jail for statutory rape. NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse until they are financially, physically and emotionally prepared to have a child. YOU ARE NOT!
Your response here is really a rationalization on your part to justify your having sex when you shouldn't. You don't want to feel you have done something wrong, so you come up with reasons it is OK for you to have sex. As you can see, I've refuted all your rationalizations. I strongly suggest that you stop having sexual intercourse with your boyfriend immediately. If you don't you are heading for almost certain trouble.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
Rings, they've been replaced by virginity rings. Virginity rings are apparently easier to take off.
I like the odd combination of "I'm having sex" and "text speak."
Yeah.
I'm starting to personally believe that anyone that can't spell the word as "you" instead of "u" isn't old enough to have sex.
And that includes the 20-somethings always posting in Adult Sexuality using chat speak.
I've personally grown fond of the answers on the various adult boards. Then you check the other posts by the same person and discover the person answering is in 9th grade.
Someone on the legal board just told me that she can use text speak if she so wishes - and so there.
Maybe I'll take off my virginity ring and buy a text speak ring.
Duhh.
What ever happened to parental control? Parental responsibility?Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
I remember there being a time that children under 16 simply were never allowed an opportunity to be left alone or unsupervised in order for sex to occur! Minors have sex when they are left without responsible supervision. Plain and simple.
Handing out condoms at school? No way! Instead they should be handing out chastity belts at PTA meetings!
Tell you what, though--you tell me how a single parent can make sure their teenager is supervised at all times, especially when that teenager has a job and a car, or friends with cars. Do you hover constantly, sitting in the same room with teens so that they go hang out at some OTHER friend's house, where the parents are "cooler"?
There really IS no pat answer to this, unless you bring back harder divorces, social stigma associated with single parenthood and divorce, and make kids get married when they "get in trouble". Or, at the very least, make teenagers AND THEIR PARENTS responsible for the bill of an unplanned pregnancy--NO WELFARE, including WIC and food stamps, without a high school diploma.
If we weren't PAYING for these babies, you can bet your sweet a$s that kids wouldn't be trying to be single parents at 14.
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