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-   -   Do you think the big sister or brother is always the right one? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=689734)

  • Aug 5, 2012, 09:40 AM
    Shakeh
    This is not a way of answering a question you are just fighting better not discuss anything with you
  • Aug 5, 2012, 09:45 AM
    Wondergirl
    Since there is no definitive answer for the premise cited, I have moved this to a discussion board. Now you all can converse about it.
  • Aug 5, 2012, 09:49 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Yes, the older child has more experience than than the youngest who is often babied and indulged.

    The older child also has responsibility for the youngest; therefore, the oldest is entitled to an opinion.

    EDIT: The wording of the reddie is: "{"why": "the user has no right to mention my other question links here without permision", "source": "the site must provide every user privacy and confidence to continue to ask questions without being abused"} - I'd like to know the source of this information. Factually incorrect, no problem. Not wanting anyone to know his background? Ridiculous - and it changes the focus of the thread.

    I believe it's an incorrect reddie. There is absolutely no invasion of this person's privacy. He posted it. Now he doesn't want to read about it.
  • Aug 5, 2012, 10:18 AM
    talaniman
    Hi Shakeh, though you have asked a general discussion question you have also framed it through your own experiences. In fact when siblings grow into adults and away from parental influences then nobody controls anyone anymore.

    While siblings are minors its often the eldest who is given responsibility for the younger ones, and often the younger ones hate being told what to do by older one. LOL, and they never forget the bossy older siblings. Is this where you are at? Holding resentments from the past and not being acknowledge for being as wise your older siblings by your parents.Or are these old left over feelings from the past?

    That's why many of us who have been here a while, read up on what newer posters ask in other posts, simply for background. Not to use against you, but to understand you better, and tailor that understanding into reasonable suggestions.

    So please, don't be so sensitive when this is pointed out. Add to the understanding by clarifying,not criticizing. That helps us all, and others, and hopefully, YOU TOO.

    That's the ultimate purpose for the site after all, to help those with questions, get answers.
  • Aug 5, 2012, 10:47 AM
    Shakeh
    I am so so much thankful of your answer and responding to me this question was not about me I grow in a family with nice parents we were all friends in the family,I read read some opinions about older or younger children their characters... of course also positive things about older and younger ones just want to discuss it and I get my answer from dear Fr_Chuck it satisfies me it was short and nice so I am thankful,I am a simple person with a simple background and not a serious thing here to be clarified so let stop this discussion here oki and we have all lot of works to do/thanks/You are all nice people here
  • Aug 5, 2012, 10:58 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Shakeh View Post
    I am so so much thankful of your answer and responding to me this question was not about me I grow in a family with nice parents we were all friends in the family,I read read some opinions about older or younger children their characters... just want to discuss it and I get my answer from dear Fr_Chuck it satisfies me it was short and nice so I am thankful,I am a simple person with a simple background and not a serious thing here to be clarified so let stop this discussion here oki and we have all lot of works to do/thanks/


    Only a moderator can stop a discussion. Threads usually run their course and then die - unless, of course, people view old threads and reopen them.

    I remember studying this in College Psych - also found this site, which is kind of "dry reading" but interesting - Human Intelligence: Does Birth Order Affect Intelligence?

    It boils down to this:

    "Firstborns do not have to share their parents' attention, so they benefit from their parents' complete absorption in the new responsibility. Laterborn children never experience this advantage. Moreover, additional siblings automatically limit the amount of attention any of the siblings get-and this includes the firstborn. This would explain the Belmont and Marolla (1973) finding that firstborns from smaller families have higher IQs than firstborns from larger families.

    Firstborn children are exposed to more adult language. Laterborns are exposed to the less mature speech of their siblings. This may affect their performance on the verbal scales of intelligence tests. Moreover, the linguistic environment becomes increasingly less mature as more children enter the family. This also gels with the finding that children in larger families have lower IQ scores.

    As more children enter the family, the general intellectual environment becomes less mature. This would explain why firstborns and older children from large families have lower IQs than firstborns and older children from smaller families.

    Firstborns (and older siblings in general) often have to answer questions and explain things to their younger siblings. It is believed that the act of tutoring helps the older children to cognitively process information. Further, teaching others may improve their verbal abilities. Except in very rare cases, youngest siblings do not get the opportunity to tutor their brothers and sisters. This is the reason why only children do not tend to have higher IQs than firstborns."

    My sister (who is the youngest) feels that the last born, the baby of the family, has more responsibility for the parents because in many instances the youngest is the last one to "leave the nest" after living alone with the parents.
  • Aug 5, 2012, 10:59 AM
    Wondergirl
    No, I'm not finished discussing this. What if the parents put a younger child (but capable) in charge, but the other children resent that. Then what?

    Or what if they put their favorite child, the youngest, in charge and the others want to mutiny?

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