I think there are MANY options out there---as many options as there are people in that situation.

I, too, chose adoption. My adoption is semi-open. I still miss my daughter--of course I do! I don't "regret" my decision, but I think every person has "what-ifs" about his/her life, and that's my biggest "what If".

Your choice, in the situation of an unwanted pregnancy, is going to hold sorrow no matter what choice you make. As other people have said, though... for some reason people think they have the right to share their viewpoint on such a personal issue.

At 17, I let people judge me, and it took a long time to crawl out of the guilt, shame, and grief.

At 32... I don't give an owl's hoot what people think of my decision anymore. I made the choice 15 years ago, and I made the choice from love of my child. The only person I should have to explain my decision to is my daughter.

Synnen,

People should be congratulating you for making a choice for life, for adoption. I do believe that people should be saying this mother is a good mother. She new she was not ready and she wanted the best for her child.

Joe

Go Synnen! Go Synnen! Tell them like it is! Go roogirl! Go roogirl!
Both of you, loved your child in order to bare through childbirth and pregnancy! Then you made a very difficult choice! And probably made 4 people+ babies -a family.

Jesushelper76, I believe you just confirmed the orignal question. You gave a value/moral judgement on her decision. You're saying it was only a good decision and should be supported because it agress with your beliefs.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Taukame

Jesushelper76, I believe you just confirmed the orignal question. You gave a value/moral judgement on her decision. You're saying it was only a good decision and should be supported because it agress with your beliefs.

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Of course. What else?? Everyone's answer is based on what they believe is right.

RickJ, I understand that part, it's just that when it comes down to what is best for each individual person, and not what you believe is right for you??
I guess the damned if you do, damned if you don't, part is that when you ask for advice, you have to remember that the person answering is basing their response on what they think is right, and not what's best for you, the person asking the question.
So, I guess what I'm getting at is that there is no truly unbiased response. No way to avoid each individuals moral code.

I think you did the right thing under the circumstances. And yes, when a woman is faced with an unplanned out-of-wedlock pregnancy I agree she's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.