Ask Me Help Desk - Gray Areas to Answering Certain Posts

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Originally Posted by Thomas1970

2. I don't have children myself, and though not always my favorite situations to tackle, I have certainly done enough work with children in the past to know, that they will continue to ask such questions of whomever they feel safe, and feel will adequately listen. Far better theirs parents of course, but they are bound to ask someone regardless. They are generally under a great deal more pressure, peer and otherwise, these days, as well as perhaps possessing either a lot more "knowledge" or questions, due to the very state of media, for one, and it's abundantly easy viewing access -- cable television, the internet, etc. Regardless, children have always been naturally curious, and I always feel it's better that they be properly informed and somewhat equipped to handle situations they are bound to encounter, regardless of their age. But I do respect that many people do not share this view. I guess it's really, mostly an issue about innocence, and being able to enjoy in a most carefree manner all that such encompasses in our younger years -- assuming that is still possible in this day and age.

It would be much better, obviously, if these "teens" would talk to their parents. There could be a number of reasons they may not feel comfortable talking to them. If that is the case then as least they can get some helpful advise from us rather than only hearing "oh come on... everybody is doing it" from their so-called friends! I agree that it would be a lot harder these days to be a teen even versus the late 80's early 90's when I was a teen. My daughter is 12 years old and I guarantee I will be posting questions on help from people who know what I am going through and I know will give me good advise.

Also, it helps to hear "great advise" from members (ex: wizkid) who know what they are going through and the pressures they experience! (That guy is wise beyond his years! Wish more kids thought as he does!)

Quote:

"Repeatedly trying to help someone who demonstrates they aren't interested in actual help but only the attention/support they can garner. Its a waste of our efforts, certainly and sometimes feeds an attention addiction, frankly. Multiple threads - same topic, "yeah butting" or endless installments with a new twist are dead give aways."

I deal with posts like this by keeping my reply to a very few positive words, and I find they soon get bored and move on. Don't know if that helps us here, but I think it's best not to pick them up on it as they may have a very serious question and we may have discouraged them from posting again. On boards like this where people have come for help, we need to keep our personal views to ourselves and simply offer the best advice we have on the subject.

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"Answering questions from children that seem a bit too adult for the topic, especially ones on dating, relationships and sex. I don't have kids so I feel particularly squeamish on this one."

I have kids, grown kids with kids of their own. I choose to give posts like that the benefit of the doubt by answering simply and straight forwardly - if it helps good if it doesn't I will direct them to a site that answers teen questions.

http://www.christiananswers.net/teens/

Hello:

I wonder about all that stuff too. Yes, I think kids should talk to their parents, but it's obvious they don't. Yes, tenants should look at the laws posted by Rick before they ask, but they don't. Yes, before anyone posts, they should look a little further and they'll find the answer they seek.

But, they don't do any of those things. And, yes, I find myself admonishing them, too.

But at the end of the day, I answer what I can. In the final analysis, I believe information, in and of itself, is not harmful. How one uses it could be, but it's not up to me to decide that for them.

excon

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"Answering at all ones that appear to be for a sheer Jerry Springer effect or to have scored something to brag about to their friends or cleverly disguised attempts to answer someone's homework for them. Not really that harmful but not helping for sure."

I think we should simply trust our own instincts on this type of post. I answer a question once and hope that I was clear enough, if not, I will try again but... That's it. On some I might even PM if I feel a bit of 'straight talking' might help.

When it comes to children I have one rule, If they ask tell them the truth at there maturity level. The hard part is gauging the maturity level of a young poster.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

When it comes to children I have one rule, If they ask tell them the truth at there maturity level. The hard part is gauging the maturity level of a young poster.

I try to follow that same rule, I try gaging exactly how much information would be helpful and how much would end up being overkill. But like you said it can be extremely tough to call.