Originally Posted by cowboyjai
Don't give up hj. Maybe you should just start actively pursuing being single for a bit? It's what I'm doing. I use to panic thinking omg what if my ex found someone before I did, and how that would probably gut me. But now I don't give a ****. One, because I've put myself in a place where I'd never find out, so it couldn't get to me. And two, because she probably WILL find someone before me, because I'm simply not interested in pursuing anything with girls atm. What I AM interested in is just meeting them and opening up my social circle.
I'm going travelling for a bit (countdown is 19 days now!), I got a new car sorted out and I've started looking for my own place to live. I've also used the experience to find out about the man I am when the chips are down. I've become a better friend, a better son, and generally a better person. I don't know how it happened exactly, but I know I'm a better guy than I was before. The person I was though, he was a good guy too. And I respect him too much, and the good he did, to live my life any other way than the way I'm living it now. With regards to the way I dealt with my ex, with regards to the way I'm looking at the future, etc etc.
And that is something I am going to continue to learn forever - it feels like the knowledge was an unused fireplace that I never thought I had, or had to deal with. This breakup put the spark to it and my eyes have opened.
We become better through adversity. So yeah, I'll keep fighting the small bouts of negativity I get, the little deaths that thinking about the past bring, and I will keep looking for the positive, and I'll keep knowing that having to deal with this is going to make me stronger for the future. Maybe one day, when I've moved on with somebody else, I'll look my ex up and see if she's doing well. Or maybe one day, I won't. But as a man I know that's my own choice now.
When I'm ready, the chicks will come. This I am 100% sure of.