Ask Me Help Desk - The NC Calendar II

Afternoon all,

My housemate saw my ex out last night, and my ex came over and said hello. My ex then asked how I was, etc, and then said I really love him, I really love him , but he (I) I won't to talk to me... etc etc. she then went on to say that if I ever want a hug or to say hi I can.

Its maddening really. She is clearly not that bright when it comes to matters like this. I was really hurt when I got dumped so why would I contact her? Its amazing she doesn't understand it.

Hearing that my housemate saw her, was OK, didn't bring up too much emotion, just more of a feeling that my exisn't that bright when it comes to things like this.

There's no danger of me contacting her, never will be. Been there done that and got that t shirt.

Back to keeping busy and moving on as we were doing.

Hope everyone is doing well, I'm off to clean the car - lol.

JPM

Lol I made the mistake of talking to him and starting the whole cycle over again, I'd got to a week too :( Well here I go again, and I plan to stick to it this time. Day 1...

Hi JPM,

Good for you! You handled that beautifully!!

This weekend is a little hard for me. I am really missing him big time. I've decided to go to Georgia to visit him in July for that concert. I really want to have a talk with him when I am there, I just don't want to push him away, or come off too needy. My God, this hurts so much.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boristheblade

Lol I made the mistake of talking to him and starting the whole cycle over again, I'd got to a week too :( Well here I go again, and I plan to stick to it this time. Day 1...

Hi Boris,

That is okay. We all go through that. Are you all right though? I know it is so hard having the NC and then if you talk with them, it is upsetting. When you did speak with him, was it a nice conversation though?

No, conversations with my ex are never pleasant LOL. He had a cd of mine I really wanted and I text him politely asking when I could have it back he ignored me. So I told him I was coming to get it. He text me back saying that no I wasn't, because he wasn't in all day ( he was with the ex girlfriend he cheated on me with) and he'd drop it off on Tuesday or Wednesday through my letterbox(Why didn't he say that in the first place?) So I rang him and he answered and told me to leave him alone, stop ringing him, and he was changing his number. (That is the first time I'd rang him since the NC) and we could be friends in a while and he was doing it for my own good so I could get over him.

In his warped mind not telling me when I can have my cd back is for my own good because it involves contacting me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boristheblade

No, conversations with my ex are never pleasant LOL. He had a cd of mine i really wanted and i txt him politely asking when i could have it back he ignored me. So i told him i was coming to get it. He txt me back saying that no i wasn't, because he wasnt in all day ( he was with the the ex gf he cheated on me with) and he'd drop it off on tuesday or wednesday through my letterbox(Why didn't he say that in the first place?) So i rang him and he answered and told me to leave him alone, stop ringing him, and he was changing his number. (That is the first time i'd rang him since the NC) and we could be friends in a while and he was doing it for my own good so i could get over him.

In his warped mind not telling me when I can have my cd back is for my own good because it involves contacting me.

You know what? You might be better off getting another cd, and just totally blow him off then. He is not being nice at all to you, and you don't need that at all. I wouldn't contact him at all, and if he contacts you; saying that he is coming over to return your cd, you can say "You know what? Don't bother. I got another one".

Thanks star,

It just makes me so angry, when I hear things like ' he won't talk to me'. What am I supposed to do? Keep contacting a girl who dumped me? Why would I do that.

We were best mates as well whilst in our relationship, but when she pulled the plug, she pulled the plug on everything. I just hate it that I some how feel bad, when I clearly shouldn't. Now I'm sat here wondering if I should contact her, to say hi or something. I won't as I want and need to move on with my life. She s not very bright thinking id still want to see and hang out with her after I got dumped.

Sometimes I don't get it. But I know I shouldn't feel bad for cutting her out of my life, as that's what she did too me.

Its day 100ish of NC now, and I'm doing OK. Still struggle some days but most of the time OK.

Keep going all, and feedback on this would be great.

Tough it out jpm. I don't understand it either, but it's the way of the world. If she really wanted to talk you'd know.

Hard day. I am trying hard not to contact my ex. It is really hard. Keep thinking maybe I can get her back. But I know that is not really logical. It is almost a week since she dumped me. It hurts and it sucks.

Its funny when you are the dumpee its like your being dumped twice.

First is the actual dumping but you kind of go into a denial mode and then when you finally realise its over its like being dumped again.

Well least this is my opinion

Zooropa you are so correct. Being the dumpee sucks twice as much as being the dumper.

Hang in their f104, stay strong! I know you have it in you, I want to do the same but I won't!

Stay tough f104! I have those days too, but the more you get through those the easier it becomes.

That's true. It kind of is like getting dumped twice. Lol. Never thought of it like that.

I'm dreading the day that I realize its FINALLY all over with my ex. Hopefully the day will never come, but realistically, its right around the corner.

Jrsg, I actually pretend that my ex is engaged to be married. Maybe a bit extreme, but it kind of puts me in a frame of its over. If you expect nothing and get something it's a bonus. If you expect something and get nothing you're disappointed.

Besides to really move on you have to realise that it is over, in your own mind. Easier said that done I know but only then can you start to heal my friend.

Thanks, that's a good idea dollarman. I guess the more you expect, the more you can be let down.
Reminds me of a joke;
Always borrow money from a pescimist, they never expect it back. Lol

Its hard to explain. I know that chances are it is over between me and my ex. I just want to hold on, and hope that some day she will come back. I am still holding on, 3 weeks later. And the relationship only 'officially' lasted 2 weeks. Very short relationship. But she had some kind of hold on me. How sad is that...

Its not the length of the relationship, it's the feelings involved

Quote:

Originally Posted by zooropa1985

its not the length of the relationship, its the feelings involved

That makes me feel a lot less stupid, lol. Thanks
But it is true, the feelings were strong. And it ended in a weird way; her ex attempted suicide:eek: :( . So, we decided to break up until things can be sorted out.
I think she may have moved on, but there is that little hope that she still likes me.

Classicrocker, dollarman, zooropa, jrsg, star, hj and everybody else thanks for the support. I know we can all do this and be better for it.

Glad I could help, f104. Thank you guys for supprting me too. It's a nice little circle of support we have here, isn't it? I'm happy I found this site.

Thanks again guys, I'm loggin off now. Going to go out to dinner with the family now. A very good distraction for myself! Its nice to meet family after a break up, and to know that there are people who still love you. Have a great evening everybody! And good luck with your NC's! Talk to you all soon.
-Jay

Take it easy jrsg. 7 days of NC for me.

Hey all, I'm back and what an amazing time I had. Want something to take your mind off your breakup for a bit, jump out of a plane haha. Seems a bit extreme but it was the most amazing thing I have ever done. There is really no way to describe it. I am uploading the video to YouTube right now so I will post the link shortly so you can live vicariously through me. Its pretty neat.

I'm glad you had a good time, NNG! That really must have been amazing. Where did you go for this? And I can't wait to see the video... you didn't scream too much did you? Lol

Okay, well, my ex just texted me. She said, "are you busy?" I replied, "I am in Detroit... with the grandparents, is there something you needed?" She replied, "its nothing, don't worry."
I replied because I am not in NC with her, I actually see her everyday. I just post here to talk about it, feels like more of a free discussion area.

By the way, I live in Toronto. I am in Detroit for the day seeing my grandparents.

NOW, my needy heart wants to think she wanted to talk about "us" and ask to get back together. Unfortunately, realistically, it was probably just her asking me to help finish the tech project for school we are working on together. Am I crazy to believe that she wanted to ask to get back together?

I need that video to distract me NNG!

Hey Guys,

All right here's the video... Hope you enjoy it, I still get excited when I watch it. And really, a year ago I was afraid of flying, and here I am jumping out of a plane, you are scared sh**less until you actually jump, than it is the most amazing thing in the world. I highly recommend it.

Also, you can see deb (my instructor) slapping my hand at the end of free fall, I was supposed to open the chute myself but got a little over excited with the whole jumping out of a plane thing and stopped paying attention, so she had to do it for me... probably a good thing. Haha.

Enjoy.

YouTube - My Sky dive

There is a quote at the beginning of the video that I think is pretty cool to, everything is going to be all right in the end for us guys!!

Very nice NNG! And good choice of music, lol "learn to fly," very clever.
Talk to you guys later

Awesome Nng!

awesome sky-dive xD

anyways.. I told my mom that I am pretty confident on enlisting in the Army. It's a big step for me as well the rest of my family members and friends.

@classicrocker: you live in Redlands? Is that around LA area? I'm from SD area.. lol

NNG you are a God! Well done. Inspiration for all of us.

Hey NNG! Where do you live? I know it may be a random and personal question, but I live in Richmond Hill, maybe 25/30 minutes away from where "SkydiveToronto" is. Just wondering...

Rocker I didn't know you were in Redlands. I live in San Berdo when I'm not in bama.

Wow, this has turned into a "hey! I live near you" thread, lol.
Cool

hahaha

anyways, it's been almost 2 weeks of no contact... the urge is random~ sometimes I want to call, sometimes I don't =/

Great jump NNG- cheered me right up my man. Have a great day everyone

Quote:

Originally Posted by jpm247

great jump NNG- cheered me right up my man. have a great day everyone

Yeh... my day was down =/

Wow I didn't think anyone was from southern California on here!

Hey guys,

How's everyone doing today?

Nice video NNG, I went last year -- it was awesome. Hoping to go again soon...

Today is somewhere just over the 2 month mark for me I believe... Its also her birthday today and I'm hoping it isn't going to be too rough. She isn't a partier, but it being her 21st still makes me uneasy...

Well I'm off to work, but I'm sure I'll be on plenty today