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Quote:
Originally Posted by DazT
So very true. I was reading your post about your ex and her changing numbers and then she calls you. Do you find that hard to deal with?
CLASSICROCKER hang in there mate. I am not looking forward to finding out that my ex is hooking up with other guys. I know that day is coming but I am not looking forward to it.
You don't have to find that out f104, don't check her Myspace/Bebo/Facebook, whatever. Definitely don't ask her and don't talk to mutual friends about her and you won't find out anything.
Yeah I did at the start, just very confusing.. I don't know what she's playing at!
DazT your right. I am trying to avoid all interactions with her whatsoever. How is your day going?
F104,
DazT is right. Stay away from things like this and you should be able to keep yourself from finding out anything about her, it really helps.
By staying away from those things, you are allowed to not think about her as much, and stay away from those things which might set you back in getting better...
Good on you pal! Yeah, it's going good. Positive thinking like I do most days, going out with friends later so just wasting time until that time comes. How about you?Quote:
Originally Posted by f104
How long you been broke up with your woman?
Hey guys,
My ex girlfriend is at the beach today... with the guy that she dated before me. I NEED TO DISTRACT MYSELF. I don't even want to think about what is happening. So, I will be on this lovely site today until one of my friends calls me up.
Why not call them up? Don't wait for them to call you.
Nows the time to become to go-to man. Be the guy that everyone looks to for plans :)
Been broken up since Sunday night. NC since Monday. I was out with my mates last night and will be today too. Well I have school work to take care of first but after that I am going out.Quote:
Originally Posted by DazT
BigBird I agree with you I am trying to keep away from her Facebook page and all that jazz. So what are you up today?
Oh, I already made plans with a friend. Going biking. The thing is, is that my friends sleep in. I mean reeally sleep in. So, I'm just waiting until they wake up and call.Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbird213
And I have become more a go-to guy, since the break up. At first, I wanted to sit at home, and cry. Then, I came here and you guys talked some sense into me. Ever since then, I got outside every moment I could.
How's everybodies day going?
jrsg your right getting out is important. Man I got to finish this paper so I can get out of here. How long NC between you and your ex?
No NC... More like little periods of it whenever I can.
I am in high school, and I see her 5 days a week. She is in 3 of my 4 classes. We have to finish a tech project too. She also lives in my neighborhood. So I see her at least 4 hours day. It is incredibly difficult to initate NC here, but I do what I can like getting out on the weekend.
Any recommendations on what I can do here?
I feel for you man,Quote:
Originally Posted by f104
I have been broken up for just about or maybe a little over 2 months now. I know how your feeling, it sucks in the beginning but it gets better.
The way it happened with me is that all of a sudden it clicked that I was allowed to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want. It was an awesome feeling of freedom. Doesn't mean I didn't miss her, but the freedom was, and still is, unbelievable. I like to be able to do whatever I want, make my own decisions, without running it by anyone. Hopefully you will feel the same way too..
Another benefit is that it gives you time to think about what you want, and realize who the perfect match for you is. You can stop and think about what was wrong with your previous relationship, and make sure it doesn't happen again. For example, I would love to find someone who isn't jealous/needy enough to stop me from doing anything. To be able to do what you want, whenver you want while you are dating someone sounds like a dream come true to me... That's what I'm shooting for down the road.
Oh sorry mate. That's right I forgot about that. I almost called her lastnight and this morning. I am glad I did not otherwise I would have felt really bad about myself. Last night and this morning have been hard. I have been thinking about her a lot.
QUESTION for you. How do you manage to keep emotionally distant when you see her every day? I will probably see my ex around campus in the fall and I worry how I am going to be emotionally.
There is a sticky at the top of the Relationships page. Its called "Things to do after a breakup".Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsg
Check that out, its full of stuff :)
Bigbird yeah that makes sense. I am looking forward to getting to that stage too. How long have you been in NC for?
I was over at a mate's house yesterday and he broke up with his GF on Friday. It was interesting.
The difference's between us were striking. He, being the dumper was doing quite well. Me on the other hand being a dumpee by my ex girl friend was quite miserable.
I forgot how much easier it is to be the one being the dumper than the one being dumped.
The thing is, I don't...Quote:
Originally Posted by f104
I still like her, and I want to get back together. There is a lot of issues though; like the reason we broke up. She has a suicidal ex, who tried to kill himself when he figured out she was dating another guy. We decided that we can't have a romantic relationship untul this guy gets help. She is also going to be away all summer break, so she doesn't see the point of getting emotionally involved if she is going to leave in a few weeks.
But yeah, I still talk to her like I'm her boyfriend. She comes to me with everything. She talks to me about the suicidal ex, and really personal things in her life. So, I don't keep emotionally distant from her.
But summer break is 5 days away now! If I feel I need to bring in NC, I can do it then.
Ever since the breakup. We have exchanged about 3 emails, nothing for the last month, but it was pretty much "business" emails if you know what I mean. Nothing personal really...Quote:
Originally Posted by f104
Be careful there. It really depends on the situation. Sometimes relationships end when neither person really wants to end it, but they both know it must. It isn't any easy to let someone go when you still care for them, but you know the relationship isn't working. My ex still cared for me immensely when she broke up with me, I just wasn't right for her anymore. She wasn't happy. I have no proof, but I wouldn't be the least surprised if it was just as hard for her as it was for me...Quote:
I was over at a mate's house yesterday and he broke up with his GF on Friday. It was interesting.
The difference's between us were striking. He, being the dumper was doing quite well. Me on the other hand being a dumpee by my ex girl friend was quite miserable.
I forgot how much easier it is to be the one being the dumper than the one being dumped.
That is a good point and another friend of mine said the same thing. Did you question yourself over and over about things you may or may not have done that precipitated the breakup? I am constantly questioning myself.Quote:
Be careful there. It really depends on the situation. Sometimes relationships end when neither person really wants to end it, but they both know it must. It isn't any easy to let someone go when you still care for them, but you know the relationship isn't working. My ex still cared for me immensely when she broke up with me, I just wasn't right for her anymore. She wasn't happy. I have no proof, but I wouldn't be the least surprised if it was just as hard for her as it was
Oh, and BigBird, thanks for the advice you gave me on my thread "Confusing Ex Girlfriend."
Does everyone find the weekends harder to deal with than the rest of the week?
Well my ex got in contact a few nights ago just go ask how I was, anyhoo she starts telling me she's falling for someone else, I know the guy which is a bummer and he's a total idiot.
Its weird cause at first it hurt but that soon passed and all I felt was anger towards her. I guess when the anger dies that will be it and ill be over her.
Ps
Is anyone else sick of hearing SOME women say that men have no feelings? I mean all they have to do is come on this site and they would see a fine example of just how much feelings a man can have. Its funny though cause some of the stuff I say here I would never say to someone face to face and maybe that's one of the problems, men don't really talk about their emotions that much.
I guess find the days all about the same. She was gone most weekend visiting family so I am kind of thankful for that. During the week we were together every night and most of the day. But I can definitely see how weekends would be difficult.Quote:
does everyone find the weekends harder to deal with than the rest of the weeek
I am dreading that day. I know it is coming but I just hope I will never know about it. That must suck that you know the guy she is going to be with. Why did she tell you that nugget of information anyway. Sounds a little mean of her or did you ask her?Quote:
well my ex got in contact a few nights ago just go ask how I was, anyhoo she starts telling me she's falling for someone else, I know the guy which is a bummer and he's a total idiot.
I do get sick of hearing that men have no feelings. I do not blame that only on women. Men always try to act tough and macho so. Men should not be afraid to show they have feelings. It's just a crazy world we live in.Quote:
is anyone else sick of hearing SOME women say that men have no feelings? I mean all they have to do is come on this site and they would see a fine example of just how much feelings a man can have. Its funny though cause some of the stuff I say here I would never say to someone face to face and maybe that's one of the problems, men don't really talk about their emotions that much.
Hey zooropa1985,
Weekends are harder. I think because we have more time think, less distractions. So, you need to keep those distractions coming. See some friends, come on this site, play a game, do something to distract you! That is the key to NC...
How did your ex get in contact with you?
Do you plan to be more strict with your NC after this?
Well it kind of started when she asked if I would try again with her, I said I don't know and she asked if I would think about it.
So a few days pass and she seems me that email telling me she's sorry but she didn't mean what she said, she has falling for someone else and that she can't help the way she feels.
So basically she was mind fu@kin me, that's why all I feel is anger.
The guys a total pervert too which makes it worse :(
It sounds like you need to be a lot more strict with your NC with this girl. She doesn't know what she wants. You should move on. That's my opinion, I know it is a lot easier said than done though. I myself suck at keeping NC.
I'm the same, I get to the point where I tell her to just leave me alone but then I start feeling guilty lol, it's a bad thing to have.Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsg
Anyhoo maybe this was the kick in the I needed to jump start me back into healing
ZOO I agree with JRSG the NC rule with your ex could be a good idea for you if it is strictly enforced.
Anger is understandable and part of the grieving process. Anger is okay but just do not act on those thoughts. WE can think whatever we want as long as we do not turn those thoughts into actions.
I gues acceptance is the last stage. I am not there yet but I think it is coming. This site has been most helpful.
Well, good luck with your healing.
I am thinking about my ex waay too much right now. I need to distract myself, so I am going biking with my friend. Biking is a hobby I picked up after being dumped a few girlfriends ago. It is healthy, and distracts me. Today, my friend and I are going to attempt to bike over 40km! We just did 35km last week. It's a goal I've set to make me forget about the ex, gives me something to work for.
Did I mention that my ex is at the beach right now with her ex? Yeah, I need a distraction! I am going to lose my mind if I think about what they are doing... ugh. Anyway, I'll see you guys around the site!
And that ON THE AIR video was helarious, and made me forget about my ex for the 4 minutes and 23 seconds it lasted, lol. Thanks
Cheers about the vid, glad you liked it, you do know it's a recording of a real radio show with the animation done for TV.
Anyhoo I have 2 distractions for tonight, first of is finishing metal gear solid 3 then its onto metal gear solid 4 my friends. :)
That video was really cool, especially because it's a recording of a radio show. Must be one hell of a funny radio show, lol.
Good luck with Metal Gear Sold 3/4 buddy! Have fun, and KEEP DISTRACTED!! Can't stress that enough.
Day 16 of NC. My ex just texted me. Nothing major. It just said "Happy Sabbath :-)". I didn't reply and I probably won't. Any other opinions guys?
Ps. How's everyone else doing today?
Id buy that for a dollar lol do you get it? :)
I'm not doing too bad meself, I find Saturday nights the hardest though
How's you keeping
Haha. Yeah I got it. SOOOOOOOOOLLLLLD! Lol. And yeah the weekends are the toughest, but it does get easier. I'm starting to find solace in the fact I can be happy by myself. Still smiling! Oh yeah!
Good for you dollarman. That is strength there mate. Will certainly make her think things over. Well done.
I appreciate it. But I'm taking it at face value. Its nothing more than a feeler. I'd rather not entertain that right now.
Yeh.. I agree.. lolQuote:
Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy
For driving with expired permit & DUI... I know I should not have done that, but I was really... down =/~
needed some time alone to myself.
Hey, I got through the day! Girlfriend was at the beach with her ex, but I don't know, NOR DO I CARE what happened. Well, I do care, but you know...
Sunday, I am seeing the grandparents. That will help distract me, I'm sure.
What are you guys doing to distract yourselves today?
Read a book, cleaned my house, worked out and played my guitar. How about you?Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsg
Man just been relaxing all day. I got the TV to myself and I'm hanging. I'm glad that we are getting through this guys. It helps to be in the trenches with others.
Man, today was so sweet. My friends had a bbq at 2. Watched the Euros for a bit and then went for the bbq. Just relaxed, laughed, met some new friends and some nice looking women. Went to a lounge later and just had lots of fun. It made my day so much easier and helped me to realize that there is more to my life than my ex.
I was pretty secluded when I was with my ex. It was either her or university. Now, I do something new every weekend and it's so much fun.
Don't be afraid to try something new or trying to meet new people
I watched 'CHEATERS'
holy crap... a 20 year old guy was married to a 19 year old girl..
Well, the girl blew him off with another guy =/
Yeh.. the guy (married) found out and damn... the girl was a gold-digger apparently since she cheated on her "husband" for another guy who drives a tuned up Honda S2000..
kind of sad though =/
A tuned up Silvia 13-15, Mazda RX-7, Mustang etc. can out run s2000...
Why? S2000 is pretty heavy... lol
some people are just too blinded by their own dependency for stuff =/
anyways, maybe 2 weeks of me not talking to my ex excluding the time when my ex called =/
Don't know~ sometimes I feel like trash... sometimes I feel alright
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