Thought id drop in and tell you all about my good night. I went to my buddys, sister's graduation. It was great seeing familiar faces considering I graduated last year. Anyway as ou may know graduations can be long and boring unless you're a parent shedding tears for their child or young adult. Anyway me and my buddy met two girls outside the gates of the graduation ceremony. They didn't have tickets and couldn't get in. We talked to them and decided we would walk over and get some food. Long story short we end up hanging out for a few hours and getting their numbers. So like cuff said awhile ago, there are people interested in you out their, but you won't see them unless your ready to.

Good news classic,

You are right. I'm sure there are people out there, you've just got to be in the right place at the right time to find it.

I still haven't found anyone that floats my boat yet, but I'm just going with the flow, and doing my own thing now. Been jive dancing for 3 months now, and its great fun. Gets me out meeting new people.

Been the hardest 6 months of my life post breakup, but I'm determined to come out stronger, and will I'm sure one day meet someone special again.

Keep up the good work all, I read all the posts, you guys are great.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

I was watching Fraiser as i was falling asleep tonight and he dropped this quote from Sigmund Freud... Caught my ears right away! It just proves that the way all of us are feeling is normal. Kinda cheesy again but what can I say, these things make me feel better, and hopefully they can for someone else.


"We are never so helplessly unhappy as when we lose love." -SIGMUND FREUD

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I love Frasier. That quote is so appropriate. Good one!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

"We are never so helplessly unhappy as when we lose love." -SIGMUND FREUD

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I agree with Freud!!

Morning fellow travelers on the road of NC. If it was not for you all I would have totally attempted to call my ex ha! Thanks to you all I have had NC since Monday morning and although I miss her and at times feel lonely I know I can come here and vent. I also admit that not contacting her gives me a feeling of control over my actions and thoughts which is important in my recovery process. I even iM a guy from this site who is going through a situation almost exactly the same as mine. AGain thanks to you all.

Its FRIDAY 13th:eek:

How are you all??

OH chite so it is! Actually I think this Friday will be better than last Friday as that was when, looking back that things started to go a little weird with my ex.

I'm glad it will be better!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by damaged

Its FRIDAY 13th:eek:

How are you all???

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Not too bad thanks, had a bit of a moment earlier, just thinking of my ex. Still miss her really, but just moving on as best as I can. May go out tonight with a couple of mates, and looking forward to the weekend. How you been doing?

I love that quote! How true that statement is!

I love Frasier too. Also I have a love for Seattle. I took myself away in the summer of 2005 after the first breakup with E and I and it was so beautiful there and very theraputic. It only rained once! LOL! If you all ever need a break from where you live, go to Seattle. I can't describe it, or really know exactly what it was that made me feel good, it's just beautiful though. I guess that is another reason why the locals refer to it as the 'Emerald City'. I don't know :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by classicrocker

thought id drop in and tell you all about my good night. I went to my buddys, sister's graduation. It was great seeing familiar faces considering i graduated last year. Anyways as ou may know graduations can be long and boring unless your a parent shedding tears for their child or young adult. anyways me and my buddy met two girls outside the gates of the graduation ceremony. they didnt have tickets and couldnt get in. We talked to them and decided we would walk over and get some food. long story short we end up hanging out for a few hours and getting their numbers. So like cuff said awhile ago, their are people interested in you out their, but you wont see them unless your ready to.

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Good for you, Rocker! :) I am glad to see that you are out having fun, and meeting people.

I've been doing Okay... for some reason I miss him :(... but its okay, I know things will get better.. I HATE THIS!! :(

Quote:

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Originally Posted by damaged

I've been doing Okay...for some reason i miss him :( ....but its okay, i know things will get better..I HATE THIS!!!!!! :(

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Yes they will get better and eventually you will meet a man who deserves you. Of course that is of little comfort at the moment. Are you able to spend time with friends over the weekend? Have you had the chance to spoil yourself with say ice cream of something that you really enjoy. I think it is important that we treat ourselves during this time.

Star I used to live in Seattle it is a cool town.

Good to see Rocker is getting out and about. You go mate!

Its certainly not easy. First experience of a breakup, and I was in deep so feel like I lost a lot. But in the end, they let us go, so it's their loss, and our chance to find someone who is better and will really appreciate us for who we are. Def not a quick way out, but I'm going out and trying to meet new people etc. no pressure, id rather be single than just rebound with nothing to give to another relationship.

We should all get out and in the mix over the weekend, put smiles on those faces!

Hi Guys,

Jpm - You are taking a great approach! It is great that you are going out there and trying to meet new people! Good for you! Like you said, take your time, a rebound relationship is not the best thing, you are right. Go have fun this weekend!

Damaged - I'm sorry you are feeling down. I know, I am missing my ex too. I hate these sad feelings that we all have. It really sucks (to put it mildly).

F104 - Are you from Washington? Yes, Seattle is very cool! I was only there for a week, but what an impact it made :)

It is up and down.

Some days your up, then something just halts you, and your down. It is a rollercoaster, but you've just got to hang on, as the end of the ride will be a great place to get too!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jpm247

it is up and down.

some days your up, then something just halts you, and your down. it is a rollercoaster, but you've just got to hang on, as the end of the ride will be a great place to get too!

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I like that analogy, JPM, thank you :) and I hope the end of the ride is near LOL!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by f104

Yes they will get better and eventually you will meet a man who deserves you. Of course that is of little comfort at the moment. Are you able to spend time with friends over the weekend? Have you had the chance to spoil yourself with say ice cream of something that you really enjoy. I think it is important that we treat ourselves during this time.

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Thanks for the support... :)

I barely hang out with my friends... They're always busy.. w.e... most of the time I do things by myself... I don't mind but sometimes it gets to me... im usually pretty happy, but I have those sucky days when I feel down and kind of lonely but that's normal... ne ways I know this will soon pass... :o

It deff is a ROLLERCOASTER RIDE!. but we know everything will be okay at the end...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by damaged

Thanx for the support...:)

I barely hang out with my friends...They're always busy..w.e...most of the time i do things by myself...i dont mind but sometimes it gets to me...im usually pretty happy, but i have those sucky days when i feel down and kinda lonely but thats normal...ne ways i know this will soon pass... :o

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Yep, I think we all know what you mean about the sucky times. Just have to put a brave face on, and dig deep, knowing that in the end, the good times will be back around that corner.

Today is not a good day for me.. I don't know what's wrong... For some reason I feel sad... I have never in my life felt as bad as this last months...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by damaged

Thanx for the support...:)

I barely hang out with my friends...They're always busy..w.e...most of the time i do things by myself...i dont mind but sometimes it gets to me...im usually pretty happy, but i have those sucky days when i feel down and kinda lonely but thats normal...ne ways i know this will soon pass... :o

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damaged do you swim or run or like exercising? Sometimes that can help even if it is only a walk.
Only to happy to offer my support. It is a two way street. I just want to try abd return the help you and others here have so freely given me. :)

Starlite1 in answer to your question I am from New Zealand originally. My father's family is from the Seattle area. When I first moved to the USA I lived there for 2 years.:D

Jpm I agree with going out over the weekend. Like you I am not looking for a rebound relationship but I do like being around people. I will be too as soon as I get this homework done and out of the way. My ex does not deserve the time or space I am letting her rent in my head.;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by damaged

Today is not a good day for me..I don't know whats wrong...For some reason i feel sad...I have never in my life felt as bad as this last months....

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You were hurt so it is okay to feel sad and upset. That is normal. At least you are here with us so you are in good company. Your ex messed up and one day he will realise it but then it will be too late for him. I write a list of the things that my ex did that made me upset of angry and when I start feeling sorrow and nostaligic ove the relationship I can pull it out and look at it. It really helps a lot. You may want to consider it. I find it to be a useful tool to carry around with me.

I call my list "Things my ex(name) did that hurt my feelings."

You are in good company here. We are all in this together.

You-damaged
Me-f104
Star
Jpm
Classic
chuff
Numb-who started this thread
Bigbird
NNG
Rebel
gg23
The list just goes on and on and on.

I do love to swim.. I go to the beach very often... I'm always pretty busy with work & school... and its awesome... I don't have much free time to think about him, but I have my days when I feel sad, and lonely, & some of those days I wish I still had him.. that only happens some days... but I'm seriously going through the worst moments of my life! :/

Quote:

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Originally Posted by f104

damaged do you swim or run or like exercising? Sometimes that can help even if it is only a walk.
Only to happy to offer my support. It is a two way street. I just want to try abd return the help you and others here have so freely given me. :)

Starlite1 in answer to your question I am from New Zealand originally. My father's family is from the Seattle area. When I first moved to the USA I lived there for 2 years.:D

jpm I agree with going out over the weekend. Like you I am not looking for a rebound relationship but I do like being around people. I will be too as soon as I get this homework done and out of the way. My ex does not deserve the time or space I am letting her rent in my head.;)

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Very true, I like the renting space bit. Her lease is terminated. No rooms left at the inn!

Damaged - I'm on day 100ish of NC now, and the only thing I can say, is that at your stage I still felt crap. I still have bad moments as opposed to days now. I guess you just get used to being on your own again, just looking after you. Its natural to feel pants when a large part of your life has gone. But you are young, and can rebuild it into something better.

Its not easy to be positive sometimes, and a bit of exercise always goes down well, even if it is like a run or a jog or a walk round the block.

I wish there was pill we could all take, to make the pain go away, but I think that we need to go through it, at least once maybe more to come out the other side, to experience the pain.

Its natural remedies only I'm afraid. Takes time, but I feel better now. Still miss my ex, but I can't live in the past, I can only take things one day at a time, and see what comes my way.

You won't always be down, I know that for sure!

This may sound mean but I hope he realizes.. not so we can get back.. I don't want him back! but just so he could see how it feels... but I believe in KARMA.. & she's a B***.. wat goes around comes around!.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by f104

You were hurt so it is okay to feel sad and upset. That is normal. At least you are here with us so you are in good company. Your ex messed up and one day he will realise it but then it will be too late for him. I write a list of the things that my ex did that made me upset of angry and when I start feeling sorrow and nostaligic ove the relationship I can pull it out and look at it. It really helps alot. You may want to consider it. I find it to be a useful tool to carry around with me.

I call my list "Things my ex(name) did that hurt my feelings."

You are in good company here. We are all in this together.

You-damaged
Me-f104
Star
jpm
classic
chuff
numb-who started this thread
bigbird
NNG
rebel
gg23
the list just goes on and on and on.

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Amen to that.

Too many to mention,

Rome
Sneeze
West

Hope you guys are doing good.

I went to a frat party with a friend of mine. I ended up doing stupid stuff... I drove in my friends car with an expired permit & DUI

I have no idea why.. =/


anyways, I wanted to call my ex but I suppressed the urge =/
It was because 06/12 was the day when I lost my v-card to my ex...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hjpan

I went to a frat party with a friend of mine. I ended up doing stupid stuff... I drove in my friends car with an expired permit & DUI

I have no idea why.. =/


anyways, I wanted to call my ex but I suppressed the urge =/
It was because 06/12 was the day when I lost my v-card to my ex...

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Also, you might have wanted to call her because you felt bad for being a dumb a$$ the other night. I am sure you don't need me to tell you, but bud you really don't need problems like that at this stage in the game. Use the ol head next time. And I say that as a friend.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by damaged

This may sound mean but I hope he realizes..not so we can get back..i don't want him back!, but just so he could see how it feels...but i believe in KARMA.. & she's a B***..wat goes around comes around!!...

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I know what you mean damaged, I feel the same way. And what does give me some comfort is knowing that the next guy has some pretty big shoes to fill. I've been told that one day she'll contact me out of the blue, just to see what's going on because she will feel like she let a good thing go. The thought kind of makes me feel better but in reality who cares. And like you said, karmas a B*****, chances are they are going to go through something like this themselves.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by damaged

This may sound mean but I hope he realizes..not so we can get back..i don't want him back!, but just so he could see how it feels...but i believe in KARMA.. & she's a B***..wat goes around comes around!!...

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Karma, she always have the last say. Besides you are a beautiful young woman, I will trade places with you for a day, and you can have my life for a day. Deal or no deal? Lol

I need some encouragement. I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago. You can see the story by looking up my profile. Her main problem was trust issues, she was snooping in my journal, stalking my ex's myspace profile and hacking my email passwords even though I never gave her any cause for suspicions or cheated on her. Then after numerous dumpings, I joined an online dating site after the last breakup to help me move on. Since she hacked my email passwords, she saw my messages and called me accusing me of "betrayal" and proving her suspicions to be true. Anyway, that's a brief recap.

I had a date yesterday with another girl and it didn't go well. She had low energy and wasn't spontaneous, like my ex, which made me just miss my ex more, despite all the crazy things she did. I was constantly comparing her to my ex. I feel this overwhelming desire to email her and tell her that despite what she thinks I only put up an online profile because she pushed me away and she was constantly breaking up with me, rather than because I couldn't wait to be with a new woman.

I know this would be a bad idea since nothing good would come of it, but I need some encouragement to prevent me from doing it. Any analysis and insight would be appreciated!

Sure, its always fun experiencing new things..
We got a deal.. lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by freeatlast1

I need some encouragement. I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago. You can see the story by looking up my profile. Her main problem was trust issues, she was snooping in my journal, stalking my ex's myspace profile and hacking my email passwords even though I never gave her any cause for suspicions or cheated on her. Then after numerous dumpings, I joined an online dating site after the last breakup to help me move on. Since she hacked my email passwords, she saw my messages and called me accusing me of "betrayal" and proving her suspicions to be true. Anyway, that's a brief recap.

I had a date yesterday with another girl and it didn't go well. She had low energy and wasn't spontaneous, like my ex, which made me just miss my ex more, despite all the crazy things she did. I was constantly comparing her to my ex. I feel this overwhelming desire to email her and tell her that despite what she thinks I only put up an online profile because she pushed me away and she was constantly breaking up with me, rather than because I couldn't wait to be with a new woman.

I know this would be a bad idea since nothing good would come of it, but I need some encouragement to prevent me from doing it. Any analysis and insight would be appreciated!

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NO NO NO NO and NO, your ex was controlling, untrusting, manipulative, she has you to the point where you think that it was healthy! It is not healthy, violating privacy, snooping, accusations. It is sick, and jealousy has no room in Love's house. Perhaps you need the low energy, obviously the ex was a little too hyper. Listen, you can think about your ex it's a perfect part of healing but in your case it is not wise to go there again. Your relationship was in fact not a real true relationship. There was no trust, and she was far too jealous it seems and possesive. Do you really want someone like your ex? DO you like to not have any privacy? Dignity? Trust? ALways worrying about if she will trust you from minute to minute. Keep thinking about how you deeply felt in that relationship with her, and consider it over. I think you need to just take this time to focus on yourself. And not date anyone at the moment.

NNG I have been told the same thing. I have been told I did nothing wrong and I do believe I did the very best I could with her and that feels really good. I know I will see her around campus but that's okay I will deal with it when it happens.

Freeatlast glad you are here. This is a good place for people undergoing hard times with broken relationships to be. The people here are understanding, supportive and considerate. Your in the right place I firmly believe it. The NC thing really helps out a lot. It is hard at times but it is rewarding overall. I am so glad I have not contacted my ex. I really am, well at least at the moment I am. In another hour I could be crying all over again like have been on and off for the past 4 days.

jolienoire is totally correct. Your ex is being very controlling and you need better than that.

Don't get discouraged because the date didn't go well.. Its going to happen some times.. It's not nice to compare.. We're all different in so many ways.. I don't think you would like to be compared either... Give chances... you just got to be open minded and just have fun.. Meet people, it doesn't matter if you don't see them as a possible mate, they can become a good friend..
& about the email: forget about it... You don't need to explain anything to her... & you're right, nothing will come out of it.. so why put yourself through that?. Leave things how they are, and what she thinks its her business... focus on YOU!

Please people enjoy your lives while you are young, I was married at 18, divorced, children,All before I even turned 30. It's rough, and why you don't have any "attatchments" release yourself, and be thankful that you can just walk away with memories. It is essential that you put yourself first because the only person who will love you as much as you need is yourself.

freeatlast1
Your wasting your time with this nut job, as she is obsessive, and will turn anything you say against you. Also realize the trauma you have been through, and know it will be a while before you can really be ready for the company of real healthy humans, so take the healing process very seriously, and follow the suggestions in the stickies. There are links in my signature.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jolienoire

NO NO NO NO and NO, your ex was controlling, untrusting, manipulative, she has you to the point where you think that it was healthy! It is not healthy, violating privacy, snooping, accusations. It is sick, and jealousy has no room in Love's house. Perhaps you need the low energy, obviously the ex was a little too hyper. Listen, you can think about your ex it's a perfect part of healing but in your case it is not wise to go there again. Your relationship was infact not a real true relationship. There was no trust, and she was far too jealous it seems and possesive. Do you really want someone like your ex? DO you like to not have any privacy? Dignity? trust? ALways worrying about if she will trust you from minute to minute. Keep thinking about how you deeply felt in that relationship with her, and consider it over. I think you need to just take this time to focus on yourself. And not date anyone at the moment.

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Jollienoire,

Thanks for your response. This is the kind of feedback I need. To clarify, I don't think it was healthy, I know it was very, very sick, so believe me, I don't think that. I'm just in pain now and going through withdrawal, which is why I need the encouragement.

Thanks!

Lol... She prob knows where we all live and she's going to come and beat us up.. lol... J/K :D