Ask Me Help Desk - The NC Calendar II

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

I don't even know what it would be. Thats the thing, its just me missing her. Its like I am mourning the death of someone. She was my whole life for 4 years. For some weird reason in my mind I want her to be reminded of the guy I am, and just regret what she did to me and regret not being with me. Its a stupid thought but one that comes to me often. Again illogical.

You know NNG, I know exactly the feelings that you are feeling; I want the same thing from my ex. I want him to forgive me this time, and let him know the reasons I said what I said, and work this out together..

I digress, sorry about that...

If you called her, do you think she would feel your words? Or would they fall on deaf ears?

NNG - those feelings are completely natural. My ex drove past me last night, and tooted her horn, smiled and waved at me. I barely acknowledged her, as I was on the phone at the time. I d love to not see her ever again to be honest. Though accidentally seeing her only twice in 6 months is pretty good considering we live 5 minutes walk from each other.

I know how you feel, about wanting them to miss what they had. In the end if they really do, they'll let you know. Until then try your very best to forget them. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and the last 6 months have been pretty pants really. But ill be damned if I'm going to let her ruin the next 6 months. There is better out there for all of us. Just takes time to get out of the tunnel of woe that is the breakup aftermath.

Stay strong though guys, doing well all round. And don't call them!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlite1

You know NNG, I know exactly the feelings that you are feeling; I want the same thing from my ex. I want him to forgive me this time, and let him know the reasons why I said what I said, and work this out together..

I digress, sorry about that...

If you called her, do you think she would feel your words? Or would they fall on deaf ears?

I think I got a little confused on that one. You want him to forgive you?.

I want her to apologize to me, I know I was nothing but the perfect boyfriend to her and she had never realized how horrible she was to me. I know if I called her she would love to get together, and would probably drop the whole its not over bombs again. I have realized now though that those are hollow words, and she likes to keep me hanging on. And that's why I can't see her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jpm247

NNG - those feelings are completely natural. My ex drove past me last nite, and tooted her horn, smiled and waved at me. I barely acknowledged her, as i was on the phone at the time. I d love to not see her ever again to be honest. tho accidently seeing her only twice in 6 months is pretty good considering we live 5 mins walk from each other.

i know how you feel, about wanting them to miss what they had. in the end if they really do, they'll let you know. until then try your very best to forget them. its the hardest thing ive ever had to do, and the last 6 months have been pretty pants really. but ill be damned if im going to let her ruin the next 6 months. there is better out there for all of us. just takes time to get out of the tunnel of woe that is the breakup aftermath.

stay strong tho guys, doing well all round. and don't call them!!!

Great answer. I have been told even by her best friends that she will realize what she lost one day. I can't focus on that though. Like you said there are better things out there for us and we deserve them. Can't let them affect our lives like this forever.

I want her to apologize to me, I know I was nothing but the perfect boyfriend to her and she had never realized how horrible she was to me. I know if I called her she would love to get together, and would probably drop the whole its not over bombs again. I have realized now though that those are hollow words, and she likes to keep me hanging on. And thats why i can't see her.[/QUOTE]

Hi NNG,

Good for you! You are absolutely right. :) :) You DID NOT and DO NOT deserve to ever be treated like that.

[QUOTE=NorthernNiceGuy]I think I got a little confused on that one. You want him to forgive you?.

Yes, because I was the one who broke up with him this time... :(

NNG (and everyone else),

I want to throw out the fact that you keep noticing that your thought process is illogical. You need to understand that the emotions that run through your mind are coming from your heart and, by definition, your heart is far from logical.

It is the classic heart vs. head struggle. Heart wants what it wants, head wants what is logical. Don't try to rationalize your thoughts, you'll lose. I'm glad you understand that it is illogical though, and being able to recognize that is a crucial step in getting over it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlite1

Yes, because I was the one who broke up with him this time...:(

Ah yes, the fiancé one. As for that one, and by what everyone said in your threads, you are better off without him, just as I am. As bird just said, we are thinking illogically, and we have to keep realizing that. We can and will do better!!

I woke up not so well today, as she was the first thing on my mind, but as the day is going she is fadding. Hope everyone is staying strong out their!! Have a good dy everyone

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicrocker

i woke up not so well today, as she was the first thing on my mind, but as the day is going she is fadding. Hope everyone is staying strong out their!!! have a good dy everyone

Hi Rocker,

Thank you, you too! :) Stay strong!

I have gone 16 weeks no contact since I got dumped very out the blue! Still miss him like crazy and some days I nearly crack but I won't, what does it show 16 weeks on me being silent then I appear, he made his decision he knows where I am if he changes his mind!

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicrocker

i woke up not so well today, as she was the first thing on my mind, but as the day is going she is fadding. Hope everyone is staying strong out their!!! have a good dy everyone

Bud its been a month and a half for me and I still think of her first thing in the AM almost every morning. Yesterday was the first day I didn't immediately, it took about a half an hour :)

It doesn't hurt so much down the road, and you get distracted within about 30 seconds...

Same thing happens here... Mornings are the worst.. but as the day goes by, I think less about him...

Got to agree with all of you on that. I always thought the nights would be the hardest as that is when I was with her the most. It seems I go to bed feeling pretty good about it, but than in the morning its like the good feelings have been erased and I have to start all over again.

65 days of nc.. I think I'm losing it
I really miss her lately I dno what to do..

For those saying she is the first thing you think about in the morning, I recommend reading a book or something else. That will be the last thing your mind will focus on and when you are sleeping that's what the brain will be going focused on. This will not work 100% right away, but it will work if you keep doing it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickshehe

65 days of nc..I think im losing it
I really miss her lately I dno what to do..

Your hitting a rough patch in the hills and valleys of the aftermath. But keep focused on the positive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickshehe

65 days of nc..I think im losing it
I really miss her lately I dno what to do..

First of all, be proud yourself... 65 days is a great achievement! Second, keep on with the distractions. If you feel like contacting her, come onto AMHD, and just rant, or let out your feelings. See a movie, read a book or magazine, play a game, go out with friends, you know, all that stuff. Remember we're here for you too.

Thx Master!. I'll try your idea :)

I think I want to talk to her about this.. not about us.. just about what its come too...
There's no point I know but it just saddens me

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickshehe

I think I want to talk to her about this..not about us..just about what its come too...
theres no point I know but it just saddens me

You're hitting a big rough patch buddy, I know what you're feeling as I have been pretty down the last couple days too. Talking to her will just make it worse, it really will. This feeling will fade soon enough, just keep on keeping on and be strong.