Quote:

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Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

haha, well just enjoy the date and don't take it too seriously. no pressure. I say just give the mail to you friend and let him give it to her. No need to text, and definitely no need to text before a date. If she responds with whatever who knows how it will affect you for your big night out.

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Just an update,


I gave my friend the mails and he gave them to her. She said thanks to him and didn't even talk to the guy lol oh well.

The date was fun but there wasn't any attraction. But I didn't feel like I had to run back to my ex because of this. I met this very attractive woman at the gym I workout at (the date was her friend). She's a single parent, I am not into single parent but we get along great as friend. We can talk for hours on the phone. We hangout and workout together, we jog together for 50 min everyday I can barely keep up with her at the gym. She kept my mind off the ex which I think is a good thing.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hungtoronto

Just an update,
I gave my friend the mails and he gave them to her. She said thanks to him and didn't even talk to the guy lol oh well.

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My ex txt my friend yesterday and thank him for delivering the mail. She didn't even thank me. I could have thrown all her stuff out. He called me and tell me about it and didn't know how she got his number. It freaked him out. Well she used to have my cell phone and I figured that is how she got it.

Just when you thought you were doing so well then you hear something about the ex and it set u back a bit. I was ready to move on now this make me think again . Just venting.

Don't think. Just do.

Think of it as you going for a jog and someone stops you to ask the time.

Pick up the pace.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hungtoronto

My ex txt my friend yesterday and thank him for delivering the mail. She didn't even thank me. I could have thrown all her stuff out. He called me and tell me about it and didn't know how she got his number. It freaked him out. Well she used to have my cell phone and I figured that is how she got it.

Just when you thought you were doing so well then you hear something about the ex and it set u back a bit. I was ready to move on now this make me think again . Just venting.

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Minor setback. You will feel better in a couple of days.

Good Luck

Toronto,

Just be thankful that she is not contacting you to thank you. You don't need the hassle. You are doing no contact remember, the least she tries to reach out to you the better. And remember, you're not getting back with this woman, so does her not thanking you really mean anything... not at all.

Now that she has her mail look forward to an ex free life from now on. There is now no reason for you to talk to her.

Ps- Very impressed that you got your friend to give her the mail, be proud of yourself!

I broke No Contact today. I was browsing through Facebook friends and I saw a comment he left on one of our mutual friends saying something about him going on a double date and it going well and he likes the girl..

OUCH it felt like a knife stabbing in my stomach.. even though I told him to move on and that he can't be with me. IT STILL REALLY HURTS that he is moving on..

So, I sent him a nasty Facebook message, which did me no good..

This PROVES THAT BREAKING NO CONTACT CAN REALLY MESS UP YOUR RECOVERY AND YOUR DAY!!

Gosh I'm crying at my desk now..

Quote:

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Originally Posted by plonak

I broke No Contact today. I was browsing through facebook friends and I saw a comment he left on one of our mutual friends saying something about him going on a double date and it going well and he likes the girl..

OUCH it felt like a knife stabbing in my stomach.. even though I told him to move on and that he can't be with me. IT STILL REALLY HURTS that he is moving on..

So, i sent him a nasty facebook message, which did me no good..

This PROVES THAT BREAKING NO CONTACT CAN REALLY MESS UP YOUR RECOVERY AND YOUR DAY!!!

Gosh im crying at my desk now..

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Plonak!!

Ahhhhhh what are you doing! Well I am not going to say anything about it, you as much as anybody know you screwed up. That message you sent him probably did nothing but make him feel better. He knows he still has an effect on you. But like you said, you told him to move on and he is, so you should be happy for him. How bad does it look on you that you broke up with him and then get mad at him for moving on... not good.

Well I said I wouldn't say anything but it looks like I did. Just couldn't help myself from kicking you in the a$$. ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

toronto,

Just be thankful that she is not contacting you to thank you. You don't need the hassle. You are doing no contact remember, the least she tries to reach out to you the better. And remember, you're not getting back with this woman, so does her not thanking you really mean anything... not at all.

Now that she has her mail look forward to an ex free life from now on. There is now no reason for you to talk to her.

ps- Very impressed that you got your friend to give her the mail, be proud of yourself!

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I never had a girl doing that to me that's all. I am trying to be nice and I don't even get a thank you. Maybe she know it would hurt me if she say thanks or she just try to get under my skin by thanking my friend. This is the first time I ever did NC. I am sure it will be easier next time.

Don't put too much thought into it, Toronto. Women are very much different but if there's any one thing I learnt about my ex ever since she broke up with me it's that every time she contacts me she wants some form of validation, usually by making me do/say something and then just flat out not reply as some crazy scheme of superiority.

It's a wicked mindgame, ignore it! Move on with your life and be glad she didn't thank you, because a part of you would enjoy feeling like you were nice to her again and in the end, it would slow down the healing progress! Hang in there, man, everything gets better with time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Molecular

every time she contacts me she wants some form of validation, usually by making me do/say something and then just flat out not reply as some crazy scheme of superiority.

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So true, you start to catch on after awhile and don't give them the satisfaction. In the beginning my ex would contact me, get out of me that I still loved her or whatever than I would not hear from her for awhile until she needed some more reassurance that I still pined for her.

Great job toronto, keep it up!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

Plonak!!!!!

Ahhhhhh what are you doing! Well I am not going to say anything about it, you as much as anybody know you screwed up. That message you sent him probably did nothing but make him feel better. He knows he still has an effect on you. But like you said, you told him to move on and he is, so you should be happy for him. How bad does it look on you that you broke up with him and then get mad at him for moving on... not good.

Well i said i wouldn't say anything but it looks like i did. Just couldn't help myself from kickin you in the a$$. ;)

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Blahg.. I know.. I apologized and he's OK about it he feels bad that I'm sad, he hates seeing me upset and wouldn't be satisfied to know that I was jealous.. I just need to stop finding stuff out about him.. definitely needs to stop... I mean heck I got a boyfriend after I dumped him and my ex had to see pictures up of us and he was crushed.. so he understands the feeling..

YUCK!!

I have been trying to stay away from my ex,got to the point where I was proud I got rid of anything and everything to do with him him in my life. The other day I was hassled all day by producers from a chat show. My ex called them (goodness knows why) and was doing a show about me. I was told they wanted to pick me up the night.



I think I win the competition for worst ex.

Just an update,

I now have a new girlfriend, I knew her for a few months now, we were close friend but just recently hit it off. We have so much in comon it's great. She's totally the opposite of my ex. When I am with this new girl I didn't think about my ex one bit. Does that mean I am over her?

I broke up with my ex for a bit over 6 months now. For all of you doing NC you will get better and a new chapter will begin. Keep going guys, one day you will meet that special someone when you least expected.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hungtoronto

Just an update,

I now have a new girlfriend, I knew her for a few months now, we were close friend but just recently hit it off. We have so much in comon it's great. She's totally the opposite of my ex. When I am with this new girl I didn't think about my ex one bit. Does that mean I am over her?

I broke up with my ex for a bit over 6 months now. For all of you doing NC you will get better and a new chapter will begin. Keep going guys, one day you will meet that special someone when you least expected.

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Congrats on the new relatioship, but I think it might be alil too early for you I could be wrong.

Red flags in your post

Now have a new girlfriend, I knew her for a few months now, we were close friend but just recently hit it off. We have so much in comon it's great. She's totally the opposite of my ex??

Why are you comparing your ex to your girlfriend?

When I am with this new girl I didn't think about my ex one bit

What happenes whe nu are not with your girl do you think about your ex??

I hope this relationship works out for you. I really do.

Good Luck

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dare81

Congrats on the new relatioship, but i think it might be alil too early for you i could be wrong.

Red flags in ure post

now have a new girlfriend, I knew her for a few months now, we were close friend but just recently hit it off. We have so much in comon it's great. She's totally the opposite of my ex???

Why are u comparing ure ex to ure gf??

When I am with this new girl I didn't think about my ex one bit

What happenes whe nu r not with ure girl do u think about ure ex??.

I hope this relationship works out for you. I really do.

Good Luck

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Hi Dare,

I am not comparing. I know where my feelings are. I haven't talk to my ex in 6 months. I think it's long enough to move on don't you think? I was with her for a year and a half. I am just saying she's different.

I don't even think about my ex when I am not with my new girl. A few months ago this would be true, I couldn't see anyone without thinking about my ex.

Right now everything seem to be good. I always like this girl but I never made a move since I didn't think I was ready.

Thanks for the advice Dare, how about you? How is NC going?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hungtoronto

Hi Dare,

I am not comparing. I know where my feelings are. I haven't talk to my ex in 6 months. I think it's long enough to move on don't you think?. I was with her for a year and a half. I am just saying she's different.

I don't even think about my ex when I am not with my new girl. A few months ago this would be true, I couldn't see anyone without thinking about my ex.

Right now everything seem to be good. I always like this girl but I never made a move since I didn't think I was ready.

Thanks for the advice Dare, how about you? How is NC going?

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I guess then you are truly over her.Congrats. Mine is still a roller coaster ride, most days are okay some are still hard, I still think about my ex everyday for 5 or 10 minutes I guess.Mine was a 8 year relationship, so its going to take a while I guess.
I am truly happy for you and I guess I won't be seeing yo o this website anymore.

Good Luck.

Hey toronto,

All the best with this new relationship! I guess we can have our concerns about it, when just a couple weeks ago you were going through a rough patch. I had a lovely rebound, while I was with this new girl I didn't give my ex a second thought, but the feelings for this girl left me as fast as they came to me, and when it was over I just thought about my ex like the rebound had never happened. Not saying this is you, and I really do wish you all the luck, but these things do happen to the best of us.

As for myself I have hit a few rough patches, just about 10 months in now from a 4 year relationship ending. Nothing I am not used to and I know I will get over it soon, just boggles my mind that after this long I can still miss her like I do... However I have come to realize that its not her I really miss, but the idea of her and a relationship. And I think that's true for most of us.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

hey toronto,

all the best with this new relationship! I guess we can have our concerns about it, when just a couple weeks ago you were going through a rough patch. I had a lovely rebound, while I was with this new girl I didn't give my ex a second thought, but the feelings for this girl left me as fast as they came to me, and when it was over I just thought about my ex like the rebound had never happened. Not saying this is you, and I really do wish you all the luck, but these things do happen to the best of us.

As for myself I have hit a few rough patches, just about 10 months in now from a 4 year relationship ending. Nothing I am not used to and I know I will get over it soon, just boggles my mind that after this long I can still miss her like I do... However I have come to realize that its not her I really miss, but the idea of her and a relationship. And I think that's true for most of us.

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Its good to see that you are doing okay NNG.

Here's my update. Long. Yes. Entertaining? Quite.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

hey toronto,

all the best with this new relationship! I guess we can have our concerns about it, when just a couple weeks ago you were going through a rough patch. I had a lovely rebound, while I was with this new girl I didn't give my ex a second thought, but the feelings for this girl left me as fast as they came to me, and when it was over I just thought about my ex like the rebound had never happened. Not saying this is you, and I really do wish you all the luck, but these things do happen to the best of us.

As for myself I have hit a few rough patches, just about 10 months in now from a 4 year relationship ending. Nothing I am not used to and I know I will get over it soon, just boggles my mind that after this long I can still miss her like I do... However I have come to realize that its not her I really miss, but the idea of her and a relationship. And I think that's true for most of us.

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It's true that feeling is hard to predict. It may be a rebound. It may be not. Who knows but right now I feel good with the new girl. We'll see what happen. I think by the time this new relationship is over ( I hope not), my feeling for the ex is long gone.

Hmmm my NC number is over a month I think. I'm quite proud of myself :) can't be botherd to count the days. I'm just going along with it now.

It has been a while since I was here. I just want to give you guys an update. I've been with the new girl for over a month now. Everything is great so far. I do miss my ex sometime but I don't feel the pain anymore. I don't know if you can ever forget about the ex. But it doesn't mean that you can't move on.

As for my ex, she is in worse shape than I am. Her new business crumbled. She is depressed and scared and no one to talk to. I didn't talk to her but I got my sources. She left me and thought the grass was greener on the other side but it wasn't. I felt sorry for her though but I know I can't go back with her. It will not be the same.

I am on the other hand moving on pretty well thanks to all the people on here. I listen to your advices and went NC. I work out everyday with my new girl and in the best shape of my life. NC worked for me and only in a short time I was able to move on.

Now that's good news. The best way to make time fly, is to have fun.

Good going Toronto! Keep it up.

My ex is with someone new and it devastated me. I still have not moved on. It has been 9 months since we broke up, I go to counselling and am in NC and have been for awhile, but STILL I die inside everyday.

WHY IS EVERYONE MOVING ON AND I CONCENTRATE ON BEING CONTENT WITH WHAT I HAVE IN MY LIFE AND AM STILL SO ANGRY AND SO HURT AND IN EMOTIONAL TURMOIL??

Hey guys I'm new this this NC thread. Today is day 8 of NC, still love her, still want to be with her, still thinking of her, still dreaming of her but it has gotten better than day one. I wonder what she's up to I want to call her so bad never been so long away from her there wasn't a day that went by that we didn't talk. Oh by the way she broke up with me because some guy confessed to her and now she's spending more time with him and starting to like him a lot... I've felt like I've been through hell and back and it hurts me so much to see her with him. Known her for 5 years been with her for 2... any advice?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Boristheblade

My ex is with someone new and it devastated me. I still have not moved on. It has been 9 months since we broke up, I go to counselling and am in NC and have been for awhile, but STILL I die inside everyday.

WHY IS EVERYONE MOVING ON AND I CONCENTRATE ON BEING CONTENT WITH WHAT I HAVE IN MY LIFE AND AM STILL SO ANGRY AND SO HURT AND IN EMOTIONAL TURMOIL???

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Some people take longer to move on.Some people move on a lot quicker.Be patient and give yourself time.You will eventually get there

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Originally Posted by none12345

hey guys im new this this NC thread. Today is day 8 of NC, still love her, still wanna be with her, still thinking of her, still dreaming of her but it has gotten better than day one. i wonder what she's up to i wanna call her so bad never been so long away from her there wasnt a day that went by that we didnt talk. oh by the way she broke up with me because some guy confessed to her and now she's spending more time with him and starting to like him alot.... i've felt like i've been thru hell and back and it hurts me so much to see her with him. known her for 5 years been with her for 2... any advice?

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It is going to hurt like anything for the next couple of months, make sure you keep yourself busy.Workout,Keep yourself distracted.Eventually you wlll move on and find someone wonderful.Again the key is keeping yourself busy

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Boristheblade

My ex is with someone new and it devastated me. I still have not moved on. It has been 9 months since we broke up, I go to counseling and am in NC and have been for awhile, but STILL I die inside everyday.

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Maybe you haven't moved on completely, but you have moved on. I suspect that hearing the news of your b/f finding someone else has aroused some old feelings again. Normal for us humans, but this storm will pass. You already know there are no quick fixes and it takes time.

You must remember what your healing from, and how long you have been dealing with this issue, so you've only been out of each others life since February, and that's not long at all. Stay on your path, make one small step at a time.

Hey guys. It has almost been a year of NC for me. It is hard initially but it feels good. Hang in there one day at a time.

f104: That's awesome.

About a month and a half, here.

So, when is it that you finally let go and stop wanting things you can't have/that are no good for you ;)?

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Originally Posted by naturallydelici

f104: That's awesome.

About a month and a half, here.

So, when is it that you finally let go and stop wanting things you can't have/that are no good for you ;)?

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It seems to be an ongoing process. I still think about her, but no more than any of my other exes. She is now just another past relationship. I do not hate her and sometimes I think "what if?" Usually though I am thankful that the relationship is over. Over the course of time I have found it is easier to assess the good and bad points of the relationship.

Each day that goes by seems to mean a little more freedom. You will make it through this. Just take it one day at a time. This board and especially the people on this thread are lifesavers in my opinion.

Funny, but I found this board about 2 weeks before she dumped me. I immediately saved it in my bookmarks and never told her about it. I think that often our subconscience is more aware of the state of the relationship than we may be ready to admit.

I really wish I should have seen this forum before doing all the BIG frekin mess I did when my ex broke up with me over the phone after more than a year together . When he broke up with me I was OK the first week, after that I started tripping out BAD, I was so hurt , I lost total control of my feelings, I sent him HATE texts every weekend for over 4 months, telling him exactly how I felt, and what I thought about him, I disrespected him horribly, I told him that I felt like he never loved me, that everything was a lie all the " I love you" all the "I'll keep you forever" and "I will never hurt you" , I told him that he was a fake for telling me all that, I told him that I hated him, that he was a jerk, and that he was a player because he played with my feeling throughout the whole relationship. I was emotionally destroyed by the break up, I was a wreck.


OMG, I was horrible and mean, and every time I sent him a hate text I would cry like a baby after, I was in so much anger and pain. But I kept doing and doing it, hurting myself even more, without thinking that I was hurting him too by telling him all that, he was very respectful through out the whole texting, he never said a bad word to me, and ke kept saying that he loved me and that he always will, for some reason that made me even madder and more upset, because I thought that he was still lying to me.

Maybe he wasn't lying, but I just couldn't understand whey he kept saying that to me and didn't want to be with me, I know you can't force someone into being with you, but why do he kept saying that he loved me ? He said that he loved me very much but it wasn't the right time to be together, that he had to concentrate on school, not on me. I always supported him on his studies, I loved that he studied and wanted to be successful and I loved sharing that with him, while I was In school to. He broke up with me so out of the blue. I regret so much sending him all those messages, when at the same time I wanted to be with him again so bad, but I knew I couldn't work anymore, the damage was already done, He hurt me by breaking up with me and I hurt him by losing control over my feelings with all those hate texts.

I'ts been a month since I stop all that, but I sometimes still beat myself up by thinking " I should have been stronger", " I should have respected him and his decision" , " I should have le go of my pain some other way". Now I know is all lost, and It all ended up so dramatic, but I have to deal with it and move on, I just want to stop beating myself up for that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Boristheblade

My ex is with someone new and it devastated me. I still have not moved on. It has been 9 months since we broke up, I go to counselling and am in NC and have been for awhile, but STILL I die inside everyday.

WHY IS EVERYONE MOVING ON AND I CONCENTRATE ON BEING CONTENT WITH WHAT I HAVE IN MY LIFE AND AM STILL SO ANGRY AND SO HURT AND IN EMOTIONAL TURMOIL???

---

I Understand what you going through. After 5 months I still feel pain.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Boristheblade

My ex is with someone new and it devastated me. I still have not moved on. It has been 9 months since we broke up, I go to counselling and am in NC and have been for awhile, but STILL I die inside everyday.

WHY IS EVERYONE MOVING ON AND I CONCENTRATE ON BEING CONTENT WITH WHAT I HAVE IN MY LIFE AND AM STILL SO ANGRY AND SO HURT AND IN EMOTIONAL TURMOIL???

---

How long have you been in NC?

It's been 5 months since he broke up with me, I haven't seen him since then, how come I still think about him so much and miss him everyday?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by COCADA

It's been 5 months since he broke up with me, I havent seen him since then, how come I still think about him so much and miss him everyday?

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How long were you two togather for?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dare81

How long were you two togather for?

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Almost two years

Quote:

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Originally Posted by COCADA

I really wish I should have seen this forum before doing all the BIG frekin mess I did when my ex broke up with me over the phone after more than a year together . When he broke up with me I was ok the first week, after that I started tripping out BAD, I was so hurt , I lost total control of my feelings, I sent him HATE texts every weekend for over 4 months, telling him exactly how I felt, and what I thought about him, I disrespected him horribly, I told him that I felt like he never loved me, that everything was a lie all the " I love you" all the "I'll keep you forever" and "I will never hurt you" , I told him that he was a fake for telling me all that, I told him that I hated him, that he was a jerk, and that he was a player because he played with my feeling throughout the whole relationship. I was emotionally destroyed by the break up, I was a wreck.


OMG, I was horrible and mean, and everytime I sent him a hate text I would cry like a baby after, I was in so much anger and pain. But I kept doing and doing it, hurting myself even more, without thinking that I was hurting him too by telling him all that, he was very respectful through out the whole texting, he never said a bad word to me, and ke kept saying that he loved me and that he always will, for some reason that made me even madder and more upset, because I thought that he was still lying to me.

Maybe he wasnt lying, but I just couldnt understand whey he kept saying that to me and didn't want to be with me, I know you can't force someone into being with you, but why do he kept saying that he loved me ? He said that he loved me very much but it wasn't the right time to be together, that he had to concentrate on school, not on me. I alway supported him on his studies, I loved that he studied and wanted to be succesful and I loved sharing that with him, while I was In school to. He broke up with me so out of the blue. I regret so much sending him all those messages, when at the same time I wanted to be with him again so bad, but I knew I couldn't work anymore, the damage was already done, He hurt me by breaking up with me and I hurt him by losing control over my feelings with all those hate texts.

I'ts been a month since I stop all that, but I sometimes still beat myself up by thinking " I should have been stronger", " I should have respected him and his decision" , " I should have le go of my pain some other way". Now I know is all lost, and It all ended up so dramatic, but I have to deal with it and move on, I just want to stop beating myself up for that.

---

Should I tell him I am sorry for what I did, for what I told him and for not leaving him alone for such a long time? I don't want things to ens like between us, sometimes I just can't sleep thinking on how mean I was to him, I was very hurt when I told him all of these things but I regret it so bad, maybe he doesn't care about it at all but I feel horrible for everything that I told him . Please someone tell me what to do. I really need some advice, I am desperate , don't know what to do. :confused::confused:

Stick with No Contact, and deal with your feelings in a positive way for yourself. The best thing you can do for you is realize your mistakes and don't repeat them, but for now the healing has to go through its process. You can make amends after that.