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Your not alone my friend... I would get back with my ex in a heartbeat.. of course only after we talk out our issues because if we just jump back into things, it would just happen again. Like you, I just know she still loves me and is enjoying the freedom with her friends right now.. But it will hit her after awhile of NC.. I still have hope
Nearly everybody on here want their ex back myself included... but each situation is different and the people that are further down the line can see more clearly what might happen so they give you the best advice to protect yourself from being hurt. We wear all in your situation but in three months on from where you are and I felt the same way you did at your stage!
I want my ex back so there's two but I'm just being practical and trying to move on
I agree I also want my ex back but there is a catch that u will learn later what is the expense? If it means the same situation I walked away from them no I don't want her back if it means she has changed and is working to improve the things that were lacking I will be more then happy to listen but as allot of people have stated don't be a door mat they didn't meet a door mat. I myself can say I became a door mat when I allowed the relationship to become unbalanced and it was all about her and not us. Be careful!
See, me on the otherhand is the one that needs to change my jealous ways. Which I am taking several steps to do so. So I would actually show her that I mean what I say this time(I have said I would change before, but did for 2 weeks then went back to my old self) If she were to call and say we should work things out,I would say we need to work our problems out before we do anything. That's what love is, working through problems not sweeping them under the rug
I agree totally with what you said relationships are hard to keep together especially if you've been together a long time, you have to work extra hard to keep some spark... but even if your ex doesn't come back, I'm not saying she won't but if she didn't your still a better person than you were in the relationship so you're a better person with or without her for the rest of your life
Exactly. I actually wrote her a long letter last week apologizing to her for how I treated her and to thank her for showing me the error of my ways and basically showing me I need to change or I will end up alone which was true. So I am out to change to better myself. No matter what happens I'm going to be stronger than I was before. And this forum is the best venting area ever.. had I found this site before, I might have saved myself some pain and realizations. Like I could have posted my worries and have them set to rest by you guys
Its been only a day for me so far of no contact. It sucks because I was doing so well but broke the no contact last week and now I'm starting again!Oh well you just got to look forward and move on from the past.. I just know I'll c him around especially when I go back to college. And whenever he sees me around he seems to think I went to that place just to see him!Which is totally not true but that's what he believes for some reason.He is such a jerk I hate him so much right now actually if I never see him again it'll probably be the best thing that's ever happened to me.
If You guys only knew how piss'd I was at the responses I got when I first came to this site you'd be surprised. I wanted to hear things like call him and tell him how you feel, and things like sure he still loves you he'll be back soon. That's what I WANTED to hear.
What I got was the TRUTH plain and simple. I can admit now what I really wanted was for them to sugar coat everything to make me feel better. Well they were RIGHT and he didn't come back. And they were RIGHT when they said if you love someone as much as we think our ex's do they wouldn't have walked away.
All of this BS about I have to many problems and I need to be alone to work them out. When you're in LOVE and I mean Truly in LOVE like I was with my ex, the first thing you do when you have problems in life is reach out to the one you love. The one that makes lifes bull $hit a little bit easier.
Oh and I love this one. I need to find myself so I need to be single. How can being in love keep you from finding yourself?
Well I was never more able to be myself and truly knew exactly the person that I am better then when I was in love. What I'm saying here is, when you are in love and I mean truly in love all the UP's and DOWN'S of life are just that much sweeter when you have the one you love to share it with. So tell me, if you add up all the excuses dumpers use to be out of the relationship DOES THAT SOUND LIKE LOVE TO YOU?
Ok, here's one more for you. Again, maybe it will never work and out she will never call me again. But, if she does (wishful thinking maybe) I know its going to be hard. I'm not going to make it impossible but we will work things out slowly, very slowly and actually solve things. But what do you say if she calls. I mean, what if she ask "how are you?" Its like you want to tell her that you are just wonderful without her but at the same time you want her to know how much you love her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MLB33
I think if she's going to call it'll be either because she wants to be friends or she wants to talk about the relationship. I'd say no to friends, personally that would probably be too hard, and you would be letting her have her cake and eat it too. And if she wants to talk about the relationship, take it slow and see where things go, I mean, only if you want too. I just wouldn't initiate anything, answer her questions honestly and try to seem optimistic about your future and what not. Cus she wanted you out of her life, so you should plan your future accordingly. If they really want you back, I think they'll try and make it clear, after all, they were selfish enough to break up with you, so why wouldn't they be selfish about getting you back if that's what they wanted.
As for me, I'm trying not to think about whether she'll call, I'm trying to think about where I want to see myself in the future, I have a lot of college ahead of me and it makes me happy to think of myself all successful. So yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is... don't expect anything, for 1, you'll be surprised if they do call, and if they don't, you won't care.
This'll be my last semester in college... I want all those feelings I had with her be all gone... today and tommmmooroooow I'd be thinking nothing but myself... ei! Ist that being selfish?tell me...
Like I've said, alive but not living...
*smiles*
No it's not being selfish at all. As a matter of fact, thinking of yourself is the very least you can do, especially while you go through this horrible phase. We all need to be our own best friend, and other people will be more than happy to come along and help you through.Quote:
Originally Posted by OverDozed
I have reached day 41 of no contact. Even though I feel like some days I take 3 steps back and 1 forward, over the past couple of days something has awakened inside of me - I'm free! No more bullying, no more walking on eggshells, no more control, no more yelling, no more humiliating 'jokes' in front of his friends at my expense, no more manipulation, no more emotional blackmail - all gone!
I feel like I've been let out of a cage. Suddenly I'm starting to remember all the reasons I turned my back on this relationship in the first place. You forget so easily during your phase of heartbreak, and idealise them, put them on a pedestal, and yearn for something so badly that it doesn't even enter your mind that this person was very bad for you.
There is light at the other end of the tunnel, my fellow no-contacters. Keep going, it's the hardest thing you'll ever do but it is so very liberating all at the same time.
I think there are a lot of people similar to me on this site, I've seen so many threads from people that are at my stage of a break up... it doesn't matter how long you went out it still hurts.
Reading the posts I think a lot of people are at the stage where they, know they should let it go but are scared to say, that's it this person is out of my life for good... no matter what happens.
n/c is extremely hard... what you can't have you want i.e you know you can't call so you have to fight the urge! I suppose it's a bit like that with regards to our ex's
I agree Maggie... I'm at the point where I know I need to let go, and I am starting too, it is very hard. So far it's been 2 weeks with no myspace page stalking and 8 days of NC... It's a long road but I feel as though I am getting better and better. Night time doesn't really affect me anymore too much, but the mornings are still very hard for some reason.
I mean I said it but I can't do it... ive fought with myself all day not to contact her, again, same as yesterday... all id like is to see her face and hear her voice, its madness, she'll probably tell me where to go or not answer!
Im dissapointed I feel like this but I do there's no denying it! Three months and here I am same boat!
And here I was thinking that after that amount of time things would get easier... I'm doing everything I possibly can to kill time and not think about her and have the urge. I have a wonderful girl that likes me a lot she says, but I can't seem to give the attention she deserves. I really feel its unfair that we are left here trying to pick up the pieces while they are out there happy and fine...
When you get lost and wandering around, you need to recall the hotlinks on tananiman's signature, or ash123 principles of breaking up. By definition, the dumper is holding the power because she loved you less. Once again, the dumper loves the dumpee less.
Ehh.. I don't know about loved me less as much as couldn't deal with my jealousy anymore. That was the reason we broke up, it wasn't because of any other reason than me driving her away with the constant jealousy fights and accusing of stupid things.
Romefalls19: We have to be able to differentiate between the reason and the excuse.
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