Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbird213
Read that again :)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigbird213
Read that again :)
So I did the right thing right? I just closed the line of communication.
Hey y'all (that's southern for you all)(the heat gets to us)(It's really, really hot down here)(Seriously, you can not believe how hot is down here right now)(It sucks).
I want to share a little story with you all because I want to impress upon you something I noticed while this was going on. I think I was on about two weeks without having seen the evil witch until yesterday when I walked by her while she was outside on break. The mighty Chuffster, hating the skank with every being of my soul, refused to acknowledge her but she of course said hello and asked how I was doing. I answered by just kept moving along. Naturally this tried to (and admittingly succeeded at times) of bringing my day down because I was somewhat focused on it. But I kept busy at work and it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Most important I keep thinking how lucky I am this thing didn't drag out further, and how she's somebody else liar to deal with. When you turn this around and start viewing the positive you start becoming positive.
Several hours later another woman who works in our building approaches the Chuffster after work, and a conversation about 30 minutes ensues. The conversation contains flirting, touching, and with yours truly a heavy dose of laughter. She reminds me of something I didn't even realize, and that was she brought me some candy a few months ago, which I think was her way of seeing if I would respond. Truthfully, I wasn't even trying to be rude, I just sort of didn't give it a second thought, as I get a lot of things from the different business in this building, so candy doesn't really stick out. But with a clear head I saw this was her way of approaching me, and I didn't really respond so she dropped it. Then I did something for her about a month ago, with no intent other then being a good guy and in fact I haven't talked to her since. However, I think I was creating some interest in her and this came out last night. While this is all happening I'm thinking, "there are women everywhere waiting to approach, you just have to have your eyes open to what's going on."
Now I have no idea where this will go, if anywhere, but what I want to express to you all, especially the guys, we get hung up on this idea that "she was the one" or "nobody else is like her" blah blah blah, and I'm here to tell you, that while you are going to miss the ex, there are other women out there and maybe you can't see them right now because they read emotions and can tell when a guy is down. But it comes right back the same thing I always say, focus on the positive, focus on what's good about your situation, focus on you , and just focus on what is going on in your life, and they will start to present themselves to you.
Thanks chuff! This insight into your life gave me a glimmer of hope today
That's so true, you nailed that right on the head... That's my pick me up for the day.
Bro, I'm here to tell you, you have more then a glimmer. The hope is there, the confidence is there, everything you need is there, you just have to start focusing on the good in your situation... and there is good in every situation. It's up to you to find it and search it out. Maybe your break up made you a stronger person, maybe it taught you a lesson, maybe you'll find someone better, maybe if you would have stayed she would have murdered you and this was God's way of running interference. While that last one was a stretch, my point is that there is good, if not greatness in every situation, and when the break up happens we get stuck, we go into shock, and we just sort of coast on memories for awhile and we sometimes don't see what's right in front of us. There are 3 billion women on this planet, the odds are, she wasn't "the one." Stay positive, stay proud, stay true to yourself and that glimmer of hope will be a ray of truth when you let it.Quote:
Originally Posted by classicrocker
I got to say, there is no way she is the one if she left... And you will find someone better! We all will.
Well I have finally come to the realization that she is moving on with her life. I am getting the impression she is content with what happened, for now anyway. I suppose this should help me move on a bit more, I just hate that she doesn't have to suffer like me.
One thing that has helped a bit lately is I talked to someone who knows her, they told me she absolutely hates my ex, she is the biggest follower she has ever met and is very fake. She didn't think this before but this just goes to show the change my ex went through.
I'm happy to hear that you are coming back to reality NNG...
And I know what you mean when you say you are the only one who has to suffer. I had a girlfriend who was in my french language class last year (highschool). The day after she dumped me, I was sad, depressed, and quiet. She came to class happy, and perky. That was not a good day, lol.
But an important thing is, is that I moved on from it, and got into other relationships.
I was in that mindset that she was the most perfect girl in the world, and no one else compares... Reality is, she is one of many who can make you happy. I know its hard to see now, but you'll get happier, find someone better .
Of course my expirience is only with high school relationships (short and sweet), but I think the lessons I've learned still apply to a more mature dating world.
Good luck NNG!
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsg
Oh definitely jr, I think that's a huge thing for most people on here. They don't see that light at the end of the tunnel as of yet. I am wanting to see it but have to admit still feel as if I can't love like that again for someone else. We will though, all of us will, it will just take time.
Thanks for the words my friend.
10 months NC! Seriously guys, stick with the NC. If you want proof that it works have a look back at some of my posts from 6 to 9 months ago, how I was convinced that NC wasn't the best idea, how I doubted whether it was a good thing for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Numb
NC will give you the clarity you cannot get if your ex is still hanging around. I don't care if she contacts me now, I am ambivalent. If she does, then I may listen to what she says, I may not. It may be better if she doesn't ever contact me because she will be told in no uncertain terms what I think about her and the way she acted towards me, which may not be a good thing! Water under the bridge is better!
I'm on day 10. Broke double digits. 14 is the record. How's everyone else doing today?
Hey, I'm really happy to hear that everything worked out with you! Congratulations! And I hope you visit this site more often, and provide some help to these people. They can really learn from your expiriences with NC!Quote:
Originally Posted by Questions2007
That record is about to be shattered in 5 days. I'd say that's something to look forward to and be positive about.Quote:
Originally Posted by dollarman
I can't wait for that day. I took a look back at your early posts, its really motivating to see the change in you now. I can't wait till all I feel is happiness. Thanks for posting, I am sure everybody here appreciates it. 1.5 months in now with some breaks in NC. I am going pretty religiously now and am looking forward to being in your position.Quote:
Originally Posted by Questions2007
Same here, day 94 of NC. She seems happy enough, so I just need to keep focusing on me. Its not easy, but its got to be done. Just trying to get myself truly happy on my own at the moment.one day at a time.
Keep going guys.
Also Chuff, that pic really brings out your eyes...
Thank you, I'm very flattered. I want people to see into my soul and not just look at me as "eye candy" and I'm happy to see that you are one of those people.Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy
This is exactly how I feel.. sometimes I'm clear minded and know that I will get through this but most of the time I feel like I'll never love the way I did again... It makes me so sad because I want to feel that lovey dovey, head over heals love again... and for some reason I think it won't happen again... I swear,that's what bothers me the most!. it makes me so depressed.. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy
Well I talked to my ex last night. She tells me she has a date, that pisses me off. It hurts. I wish I didn't talk to her! Damnit! She asked if we could be friends, I told her I want to because I care about her and all but its just that I have too many feelings for her still. Damnit she has a date. 3 years with her, and she is able to move on so easily.
First of all, while you could look at this as moving on so easily, you could also look at it as her only way to distract herself from what she's feeling. It may not be correct but how you interpret the message is up to you and you might as well do what is best for your recovery. Secondly, it really speaks to how cruel she is to even tell you to begin with, obviously looking for some kind of reaction out you. I honestly can't imagine being that cruel to someone when they obviously know you are still suffering. I hope this means something when you read this months from now, but I'm happy for you that you only got a 3 sentence with someone like that, it could have been longer.Quote:
Originally Posted by classicrocker
... so why talk to her?
That example, alone, cr, is the reason we don't talk to our exes.
So, I guess I'll join in on this post.. since I'm in a reacent heartbreak
It's been one day of NC for me.. I broke up with my boyfriend on Friday.. he called me Friday night (technically Sat morning) and we talked for like an hour.. and I realize that it makes it so hard talking to them on the phone after break ups.. because every time we get off we both start crying and think it's the last time we will talk.. why keep the torture up?
He called me last night and left a very heartbreakingly sad voicemail.. and sent me two text messages.. shame on me for reading them and listening to the voicemail.. I did not respond however..
He called this morning at 11am.. I did not answer.. I don't think he has it in his head that it's over.. this makes it so hard for me..
Wow what a day, seriously... what a day hope everyone is staying strong! I'm hanging in their the chuffster showing me some good points!
Keep going rocker. You've slipped up and I think you realized that's why nc is for the best. I got to say that is extremely lame that your ex told you that. I feel for you buddy as that would be extremely heard to hear. But use what she said to fuel your nc fire. She's obviously beneath you.Quote:
Originally Posted by classicrocker
For some reason, a question popped into my head about my ex. After taking to finals from 3:30pm to 8pm on Saturday, I went to a Japanese restaurant to celebrate my completion of freshman year. While eating, the question "Was the time spent studying and staying in college worth losing a loved one?" I am 100% sure everyone would say "college is more worthwhile" but I feel kind of obsolete since my ex used to tell me that I spent too much time with college than her =/.
Hey Plonak,Quote:
Originally Posted by plonak
Its going to be really hard for awhile. And he is probably not going to leave you alone for a bit. But hopefully he eventually starts to get the picture and will stop. Its going to be hard on the both of you, but just remember that this is for the best, and that one day things are going to be OK. You're taking action to improve your life and get out of a situation that is destructive to your happiness. One day you are going to be so glad that you went through this pain, its hard to see now but its true.
Being in freshman year there is so much more time to meet someone new, someone who understands that school is important and has the same priorities as you. It is unfair for anyone to ask you (especially at this age) to put your future on the back burner for them. You did the best you could as a boyfriend and as serious student, and if she can't see that than she's not worth your time. Don't ever put your life on pause for someone else, it will always come back to bite you in the a$$. I wouldn't think that all this has caused you to lose a loved one... I think it brought out her true colors and that now you are one step closer to finding the right girl, someone who will respect and understand that you have goals.Quote:
Originally Posted by hjpan
Northern,
You're right, I know that one day I will be happy that I went through this pain. It will make me stronger..
It's weird one moment I'm fine and the next I feel horrible..
And Northern, I was reading some of your posts and I know you proly already know this but you really are a nice person.. don't ever change that.. there are nice girls out there that want nice guys.. I'm a good woman, and I'm smart enough to not go for or want the 'bad guys".. there are plenty of good women out there that are going to snag you up when you're ready to get out there... guaranteed..
Hope there are nice guys out there for me too when I'm ready..
Thank youQuote:
Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy
Thanks plonak, that really meant a lot. Things like that get me through the day :)Quote:
Originally Posted by plonak
... and there will be, you don`t even have to think twice about that!
There'll be the good guys..Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy
college frat boys... they drink to get drunk & show off, sex it up with random girls, and waste time =/
Quote:
Originally Posted by Numb
What does NC mean? Because in my country its stands for my Location I say: I'm living in NC :D
You know, you've made a good observation and point there, tiamokiss!Quote:
Originally Posted by tiamokiss
When people use abbreviations on this site, it would be helpful if they would take into consideration that there may be folks who don't understand what the abbreviations mean. And, using the complete term for which the abbreviation stands for might help them to get even more really good answers to their questions, or responses to answers that have been given, if they wouldn't use the abbreviations. I had no idea what NC meant, until I joined this site.
Does NC for you mean North Carolina, please? That is what I used to think that it represented. But, maybe it's even something else? Don't know...
This is a site, where the potentially really fine people to answer questions, might be from any part of the world, and thus, might not be privy to the abbreviations used for something similar in another part of the world.
Now, in just my oberservation of your post, your using the term "Cuz" might also be confusing to someone else. In the English language, it's also one of the abbreviations that is used for the word "cousin." ;)
Hi there! In the context of this thread, "NC" means "No Contact". When a couple breaks up, they sometimes agree that no contact would be best but it is difficult on the person who wants to continue the relationship or at least friendship. So this thread is to encourage those going through this to help them, knowing others are going through the same thing, hurting in their hearts but knowing there are better things coming in the future. Knowing you are not the only one going through a difficult day, evening, or night, and having encouraging words to "hang in there and don't text, call, e-mail, but remain with your decision to have "no contact" is a real help. Each day gets a tiny bit easier but if you do talk to that person, it sort of just takes you backwards in your emotions your resolve to move forward with your life. Hope this helped. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by tiamokiss
You just brought back a fun little memory. Thank you. My uncle from Missouri use to call me "Cuz" because his youngest son called me "Cuz" and he got such a kick out of that. I find some abbreviations used on the site confusing for me also. I usually have to ask someone what they mean. :confused: I am not into texting on the phone much so when those abbreviations are used, I am really lost. I know, I am the "Stone Age Kid"!! :p I might need to change my avatar now. LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by Clough
In total jest and jocularity here and in no intention of making fun of anyone else, Well because, that's because you were able to figure things out in these posts because you are such an astute person, because! :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clough
Oh come on! It's clear from the sentence :p
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrebel7
Thank you very much! It's am amazing, soon I will join this thread, hope so ! :rolleyes:
Day 9 of NC --> No Contact..
the urge is slowly dying
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