Sorry about those 3 "answers" I left. I'm new to this thing so you know. Its my 2nd day of NC, 3rd of us being broken up. This has helped reading all of this, thank God its not just me. I really like the win-win situation with NC. However, if she does call (it seems a lot of people on here hope they will) and I don't answer then does that tell her I'm not interested? I mean, she is going to have to bend over backwards for me if this is ever going to work again so I know that much. I guess Im asking if I should show any interest whatsoever because I don't want her to feel like she made a mistake and then think I'm mad and give up. But I guess she wouldn't give up if she really wanted it to work. And umm... she lives on the other side of the apt complex. Ok, enough being pathetic for now, going to work out.

My whole outlook on the situation is... If she calls, let it ring out and then call her back awhile after... I'm not quite sure how long I'm going to let her wait, but I'm hoping for at least a day.. Make her sweat as long as possible.. Now if she calls once and you let it ring out and then calls again later.. pick it up.. It might be important

For those new to NC, it amazes me how you can be dumped, and still think she will come back, and are so willing to wait, and care more for her feelings, than your own. Its always so interesting as we heal, and move on, we can look back, and really see how unhealthy we are when we get here, and how we have completely changed our attitudes. Good Luck!

Ok, sorry I feel retarded and selfish to keep talking but another question. I was driving to the place where I work out and the tanning bed that my g/f goes to is right next to it. I saw her car there then saw her walking to the front door as I was driving by in the parking lot. I looked at her and she kind of slowed down and waived. I just turned my head back around and went on to park and didn't look back. This is so freakin hard. I know Im just suppose to move on I KNOW. But Im just not there yet. And, I don't want to burn any bridges if she does realize she needs me. I WILL NOT go pour my heart out though or even contact her. Did I do the right thing?

I was going well for a while there, but this week I feel like I've taken 10 steps back and one forward. I'm making so much progress, and all I want to do is tell him! And when I realise he's gone, it just smacks me in the face one more time. I have to work out how I'm going to break this self-torturous cycle. I say the prayer 'god grant me the serenity... and so on' to talk myself into letting go, I tell myself to stop being stupid, he's not coming back, and just to let go, so far it has been ineffective. I think this no contact is working more against me and more in his favour! It's making me miss him 10 times more than he's probably ever going to miss me. At the same time, this method of self torture is truly the only way to heal. It's been hell, but I still haven't crumbled and made any contact.

I know the feeling Roo. She kind of gave me the "I still love you and dont wanna be w/anybody else thing." But this is killing me. I'm not stupid, as dumb as I may sound for wanting to hang on. But I do want to hang on. I want her back. And I'm throwing the idea of calling her and just saying, "if its over its over but i need to know for sure." Then I'll prob get the "I can't say for sure" response and then really feel dumb for letting her know this is killing me.

Yeah, its tough as those fresh, intense emotions have our thinking coo-coo-lala, at times, but it will pass for a while, just try to stay on the path of NC.

This is my 4th month of NC thing...
I feel alive but not living... hehehehehe!
In some ways I fell dead but not departed...

*sobs*

I'm only close to 1 month in and feel the same Overdozed. Yesterday after talking to one of my female friends @ work I've decided to be a bit pro-active about certain things and force myself to feel a bit more alive. My flatmate and I are moving (she used to live with me and I think a change in scenery will help) and I'm changing jobs (I used to work with her too heh) and I figure if I can force myself to be in more foreign situations then it might help facilitate the moving on with my life phase I hope to be in soon :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by lunchboxau

I'm only close to 1 month in and feel the same Overdozed. Yesterday after talking to one of my female friends @ work I've decided to be a bit pro-active about certain things and force myself to feel a bit more alive. My flatmate and I are moving (she used to live with me and I think a change in scenery will help) and I'm changing jobs (I used to work with her too heh) and I figure if I can force myself to be in more foreign situations then it might help facilitate the moving on with my life phase I hope to be in soon :)

---

Very good plan lunchbox, My ex and I lived together for many years so everything I now have we accumulated together (furniture, t.v.'s dishes) EVERYTHING. It's rough living in the same place with all the remiders. If I had money I'd ditch that place and all the crap and move someplace else. To bad that's not going to happen anytime soon. I think you have the right idea though... Good for you!!

This is now my 4th day of NC... I don't look at her myspace but she looks at mine, but the biggest thing is... Last night I was outside talking to one of my friends and this car drove past 4 times, really slow and stopping to see who I was talking too.. SUV filled with girls all giggling and someone ducking in the backseat... Maybe it's wishful thinking, but everyone I tell it too say all signs point to my ex.. Condering my boy goes out with one of her friends and it was a "girls night out" last night..

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Suelle383

He kept calling me for a month after we broke up and I finally just told him to stop and leave me alone. I didn't want to be friends. I told him when and if I want to talk to you, I'll call. After 3 1/2 years and 2 years of living together, you can't just suddenly become friends. So, I decided I had to go cold turkey and just the cut the cord.

---

Hi Suelle, I thinkit s ridiculous how they love to ease their conscience with the friends game,how can they really expect us to follow along to all their rules. No I don't want you but wew'll be friends? No,not if they are dating someone else,in my case. I had to finally let him know I'm not ready to talk to him or just be friends. Its better to look after you,they are obviously not.

You can't be friends, my ex wanted that and I said no then she got really upset... at the moment we seem to be playing this cat and mouse game, she texts me I don't respond for a while then I text her and she doesn't respond! Its madness

Its like when they say soon I might feel different.. I had that talk, a few months I was told... what do they expect you to just sit around or be their friend until they meet someone else or get bored!

I agree Maggie. Its been 3 days of NC for me and its not easy. It sucks. I really do believe she loves me and maybe its true that a girl might just truly need time away to see if we are the right ones. I hope so anyway. But at the same time... can she really love me and break it off with me? She told me I could call or email her. Oh thanks! What an honor.

I don't know what to do anymore, one min I feel like I don't want her the next I'm desperate for her... its horrible!

Ive lost all self respect for myself for wanting/still loving someone that has put me through all of the stuff she has!

I don't even know what she wants anymore... I wished it was me but I think that may be delusion, she's messed with my head when she could have just left and let me be.. but no she has to text every now and again despite me asking her not to bother me and I won't bother her!

So here's an update on my situation. I went out with this girl for 2 years, she dumped me beginning of December saying that she couldn't handle the distance (she goes away to school, I was going to go to the same one) and she wasn't sure if she ever loved me at all. So I tried the "just friends" thing for a week, and I realized it wasn't going to happen, so I told her that I just couldn't be friends. So NC it was, had a few hiccups, but then she wanted to see me the 5th before she went back, so she came over and we talked about stuff, and she kept telling me that she really does want it to work out between us and stuff, then it started to get awkward so she asked me what I got for xmas so I pulled out this cool book I got, so as we were going through it, she kept getting a little closer and a little closer, and then she kissed me, so I kissed her back and then we started making out for a little bit, then she started crying saying that she was a slut, I felt bad so I cheered her up (im that guy who always knows what to say) and then she left, I was happy and she was happy, but it gave me hope... Then I did something kind of stupid and went on her Facebook, because I know her password, and I found a message she wrote to the guy she's known for 10 days who she apparently "loves" now. While I was reading it, it was just so stupid and made me realize what an idiot she is, and that she really knows nothing about love and doesn't have a rational thought in her head, on top of that she told him that she was only with me out of pity, she honestly thought that I "needed" her to be happy, I don't have her now and I'm pretty happy, anyway, its just unbelievable that every time she would say that I make her so happy or that she loved me, that in the back of her mind she was thinking, "this ought to give the poor guy a little more confidence" What kind of whore does that! So yeah, I'm kind of glad I read that, because now ill stop kidding myself that she'll come back and really start to move on, and knowing what kind of person she really is, is helping out a lot. You'd think after 2 years you'd know everything about them right? Psh... women...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

psh... women...

---

Psh women is right. Similar situation. 3 years. We broke up. She got sick and ended up in the hospital. You checked her fbook. I checked her phone. Found messages from the kid I was suspicious about pre-breakup. Found 30 something messages from within 3 days... "i still like you"... "let's go eat"... "where are you, why aren't you here"... "can i come over"... etc.

End of story.

Yea, I'm sorry to here that pal... Sounds like you had a big heart breaker on your hands. It sucked with my ex because we both did and still do love each deeply and whole heartedly but she just couldn't take the pain I was weighing her down with and I understand. It was a very somber sight, neither one of us had a good christmas(she told me this) and both of us cried a lot when we saw each other on the day after we broke up. She really didn't want to do it but knew she had to. I understand that now, but doesn't stop the fact that I love her unconditionally and wish her back every day.. But who knows what the future holds.. keep your head up bro

ISNEEZEFUNNY... Yea I know that, the kid my ex is friends with now is a total loser. He works full-time where I work part time.. He counts tils for the front end cashiers. I'm and IT Admin, college educated, work 2 jobs. I'm in great shape, working out even more to show her what she lost. Hate can be a positive emotion when it forces you to better yourself

I just wanted to say that I'm glad somebody else on here does want to get back with her. B/c I feel the same way... been broke up a week and NC. I know she loves me. Sounds stupid I know but I just know. And every time I say something about it on here somebody tells me how I just need to move no and forget it. Which may be the case but nevertheless Im just glad to hear that Im not the only one