Ask Me Help Desk - Female circumcision. Mutilation of young girls.

Female circumcision. Mutilation of young girls.

Today a young woman posted that she had undergone female circumcision at the age of 5, and now, at the age of 21 and married, she cannot even have sex with her husband, they sewed her up too much. She wanted to know what to do, but is afraid to go to a doctor.

Many years ago I read an article in Readers Digest, which I now know was part of a book written by Waris Dirie, a model from Africa, and the voice against female circumcision. The book is called "Dessert Flower".

http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&source...62zgeA&cad=rja

I feel this is a subject worthy of discussion, so I'm posting the same readers digest version of her story here. It's long, but it's worth the read, and it's a story that needs to be heard.

The Waris Dirie Story

I think this topic is worthy of discussion. The young girls that go through this don't have a voice, they only have the screams and pain they'll never forget as long as they live.

This "surgery" is preformed by old women in the villages or towns where this is practiced. These women have no medical experience, they do this in places that aren't sterilized, without sterile equipment, and without the knowledge to take care of any emergencies that happen. Many of these girls bleed to death because of this butchery. Those that don't usually live a life of suffering, pain, and unable to enjoy sex, if their husband can even enter them.

So please, discuss. I think this subject needs to be talked about.

I read the imformation in the site you posted. It's the most horrifying, gruesome thing I have
Ever read.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I read the imformation in the site you posted. It's the most horrifying, gruesome thing I have
ever read.

If you get a chance, read the article Kit. It has a happy ending, and this woman is a true hero. She went through hell and back, and now her mission is to make sure that other girls don't have to go through what she did.

It truly is an inspiring story, even though the horror of her circumcision left tears in my eyes, she's a survivor. There are other little girls out there, some as young as 3, that go through this daily, because of cultural beliefs. The danger these girls are facing is unimaginable.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

If you get a chance, read the article Kit. It has a happy ending, and this woman is a true hero. She went through hell and back, and now her mission is to make sure that other girls don't have to go through what she did.

It truly is an inspiring story, even though the horror of her circumcision left tears in my eyes, she's a survivor. There are other little girls out there, some as young as 3, that go through this daily, because of cultural beliefs. The danger these girls are facing is unimaginable.

I read that some Countrys had banned the practice. It isn't going to help
The ones who have already gone through it. One part of the article said the girls were as young as three as you said. It's awful!

Some countries have, and in many places it's illegal, but it doesn't stop this from happening, even in the US and Canada.

This is part of their culture, part of their religion. You can't squash a practice that's been going on for 1,400 -2000 years (the jury's still out on time lines). ;)

The US and Canada.. I didn't know that. Why would countries like US and Canada allow this. That's horrible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

The US and Canada..I didn't know that. Why would countries like US and Canada allow this. That's horrible.

They don't allow it. It's done in secret. If something goes wrong the family usually won't even take the girl to hospital in fear of being arrested.

It's illegal to mutilate girls in the US and Canada and many other countries, but there are many illegal things that are done every day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

They don't allow it. It's done in secret. If something goes wrong the family usually won't even take the girl to hospital in fear of being arrested.

It's illegal to mutilate girls in the US and Canada and many other countries, but there are many illegal things that are done every day.

Then they should pass a law here and in Canada that anyone who is caught doing this could be imprisoned. Do they have a law against it here?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Then they should pass a law here and in Canada that anyone who is caught doing this could be imprisoned. Do they have a law against it here?

I believe there is a law, which is why the families won't take the girls to the hospital if there's a problem, they just let them bleed to death rather than risk being arrested and imprisoned.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I believe there is a law, which is why the families won't take the girls to the hospital if there's a problem, they just let them bleed to death rather than risk being arrested and imprisoned.

Oh my Goodness. I cannot believe that right here in this country and in Canada some little child is treated that way.

I read the article and all I can say is wow... just wow.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

I read the article and all I can say is wow...just wow.

She's an inspiration, isn't she? I can't imagine the hell she went through.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

I read the article and all I can say is wow...just wow.

J you know when they stitch a woman after a baby is delivered. They dro that twice to a woman who has had that done. At the back and the front. How long would it take something that awful to heal?

Her strength is just amazing.

If you read the Wiki link I posted, you can see that she's been through many hardships in her life. She truly is an inspiration. She's turned this tragedy into a quest to make sure that no other little girl has to endure the suffering she did.

Sadly that quest is not an easy one. The customs of these people are so ingrained that they're not willing to stop. They truly believe they are doing right by these girls. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

I read the article and all I can say is wow...just wow.

I echo that...

What an awesome display of strength and courage.

A true hero that will largely go unsung.

Apparently "Dessert Flower" was made into a movie.

I'd love to see it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Apparently "Dessert Flower" was made into a movie.

I'd love to see it.

Oh! I'm going to search for it when I get home!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Apparently "Dessert Flower" was made into a movie.

I'd love to see it.

J-9 you can go home and relax and watch it if you want to.

You can download it at Vuze.com. It's a bit torrent site I use a lot. It is also free.
I searched and it is available on this site.

You have to download their software, but I have had no problems with it.

I have found almost any movie I have searched for , and I found some obscure cult classics I had given up on years ago.

You can watch it here without downloading...

Watch Desert Flower online - Watch Movies Online, Full Movies

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

You can watch it here without downloading....

Watch Desert Flower online - Watch Movies Online, Full Movies

That seems to be a virus infested site.

The anti virus alerted twice in the first ten seconds. I bailed.

Here is a trailer for it.

YouTube - Desert Flower ("Wüstenblume" )Trailer English

Quote:

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Here is a trailer for it.

YouTube - Desert Flower ("Wüstenblume" )Trailer English

Hey Cal dad... Thanks

This is such a dreadful practice, and I was horrified to learn that despite it being illegal in the UK it is still happening in secrecy here too.

I recently also learned about the process of 'breast ironing' - another horrific attempt to control the sexuality of females, mainly in the Camaroons.

The u-tube clip in this article is pretty harrowing I'm afraid, but this is something that the world needs to understand if these young ladies are to be helped.

Breast ironing in Cameroon raises concerns (Includes interview)

Female circumcision, breast ironing, don't even get me started on sharia law. Amazing what some women endure that most of us here can not even begin to imagine.

Counting my many blessings...

Quote:

Originally Posted by martinizing2

That seems to be a virus infested site.

The anti virus alerted twice in the first ten seconds. I bailed.

If you go to Watch Movies Online Free - Just Added you will be able to search for the video. I watched it this morning... no viruses, just don't download the videoplayer they advertise at the top of the screen.

Hubby and I talked about this last night, because of course it was on my mind.

He didn't want to hear it, his exact words "I know there's evil in the world, but I don't want to know about every bit of it". I know why, because it makes him sick, it makes him angry, it makes him upset, but I had to wonder, does turning a blind eye to something, because it's horrific, really help?

I have to admit that there are certain things I don't want to read about, or view, or know about. This is one of them, but I feel like it's something I should read, it's the least I can do. To hear about their pain and stand up for them, even though I can't do much, at least knowing about it, saying it's not right, is something, isn't it?

There is a price to pay though. Once you know that something this horrible is going on, can you just sit back, say "I don't agree with it" and go about your life, or do you find a way to do something about it? At what cost? Waris Dirie has paid a price for being the voice for these girls, and yet this practice still exists, nothing has really changed. Was the price she paid worth it?

So what can be done? This isn't a problem that only exists in a small part of the world. This is worldwide. Parents are mutilating their daughters in the name of culture and religion in every country, even the US, even Canada, where there are laws against this.

So what can we do, if anything? Does writing about it change anything? Does making people aware that this is going on change anything? Are we doing anything about it, or did we just add another nightmare to our already disturbing dreams?

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

If you go to Watch Movies Online Free - Just Added you will be able to search for the video. I watched it this morning.....no viruses, just don't download the videoplayer they advertise at the top of the screen.

Thank you. I downloaded it from Vuze.
This site has been good for finding almost anything I have searched for.

I'll have to try that one myself, but I don't download the movies, only watch them.

I fell asleep this morning while watching Desert Flower, so I've got it on the laptop here at work right now. I really hope no women go into labor until it's over.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

I'll have to try that one myself, but I don't download the movies, only watch them.

I fell asleep this morning while watching Desert Flower, so I've got it on the laptop here at work right now. I really hope no women go into labor until it's over.

How is it J?

I'll try to watch it later. :)

So far it's wonderful. I've alread cried once, and I think I'm about to again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

So far it's wonderful. I've alread cried once, and I think I'm about to again.

Well that's not good. Some poor woman in labor is going to think something wrong. ;)

We don't have any patients up here at the moment. YAY!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Hubby and I talked about this last night, because of course it was on my mind.

He didn't want to hear it, his exact words "I know there's evil in the world, but I don't want to know about every bit of it". I know why, because it makes him sick, it makes him angry, it makes him upset, but I had to wonder, does turning a blind eye to something, because it's horrific, really help?

I have to admit that there are certain things I don't want to read about, or view, or know about. This is one of them, but I feel like it's something I should read, it's the least I can do. To hear about their pain and stand up for them, even though I can't do much, at least knowing about it, saying it's not right, is something, isn't it?

There is a price to pay though. Once you know that something this horrible is going on, can you just sit back, say "I don't agree with it" and go about your life, or do you find a way to do something about it? At what cost? Waris Dirie has paid a price for being the voice for these girls, and yet this practice still exists, nothing has really changed. Was the price she paid worth it?

So what can be done? This isn't a problem that only exists in a small part of the world. This is worldwide. Parents are mutilating their daughters in the name of culture and religion in every country, even the US, even Canada, where there are laws against this.

So what can we do, if anything? Does writing about it change anything? Does making people aware that this is going on change anything? Are we doing anything about it, or did we just add another nightmare to our already disturbing dreams?

If more people realized ,as you do, that to stop some of these nightmares , people need to do more than talk.
The problem is... What?

When I was young it was actually easy to get hundreds of people to march , protest and generally raise enough hell to get noticed.
You had to be obnoxious enough to bring in the police then the media was there and your story got out.

I can't see that happening today when the President and his entire circle of goons can lie outright to the American people in order to start a war .
And when the truth gets out, nobody seems to care .

We should have stormed the White house and literally thrown Bush and his band of liars and thieves out on their heads.
Then tar and feather the entire bunch.

As long as the people are that complacent to allow them to get away with that... I am afraid there is nothing to stop any group of decadents , degenerates , liars and thieves from doing anything they want to do.

I spent years running around in a righteous rage about everything from letting the government keep taking away our Constitutional rights, to how our "Justice System" is so far away from justice it is heartbreaking.

You are right. Something needs to be done. And I pray to God that someone figures out what it is

Maybe just talking about it, making people aware that it's going on, is at least a step in the right direction. But it's only the first step.

I do my best to stay under the radar, after all, I live in Canada, but I'm not a citizen. If I stir the poo too much they may just decide I'm not worth keeping around. ;)

I'm not sure exactly how we go from being aware of a problem to changing it. I do think that the more dark secrets are brought out into the light the more chance there is to stop them though.

Firstly, I hope it would be a little easier for existing victims to seek help if they know that people are aware and sympathetic than if they feel that nobody will know about it or understand.

Secondly, although it is illegal in many countries it still flourishes due to secrecy. I mean what health worker, social worker, teacher, or any other adult would think to look for signs of something they don't even know happens? The more people know about this the more chance there is that at least someone might get help or protection earlier on.

Waris has been incredibly brave and I hope she gains some strength by the support she receives from people who haven't been affected themselves but are there for her in spirit at least.

If you Google, 'stop female circumcision' or 'stop female genital mutilation' there are lots of petitions that you can sign up to, badges and books that can be bought to support various campaigns, and amnesty international are always looking for donations, volunteers, or people who are just willing to subscribe to their newsletters.

Amnesty also have 6 second-hand bookstores in the Uk where you can buy or donate books. For anyone who is cash-strapped this can be a way to do a little something without breaking the bank. Don't know if you can do this in other countries but you can buy their books and other merchandise, to help pay for their campaigning, online. For anyone in Europe this is a good place to track what is being done: http://www.endfgm.eu/en/about-us/vis...ng-principles/

It doesn't seem much does it? But a little has to better than nothing. I hope.

Alty and QLP

You are both correct. Making people aware is doing something. And no small thing at that.

I was thinking back to the days of the Viet Nam anti war days when hundreds or thousands of people would show up to march or demonstrate on two hours notice.

But that was a different time place an attitude.

I guess I still have traces of the radical government hating hippie that I used to be.

It frustrates me that so many will not even have the courage to say anything, when my old hobby was to see if I could outrun the police dogs and avoid another bite.

But that is putting myself in a position of being judgmental and I hate it when I do that.

I am gaining faith seeing so many intelligent clear thinking people as there are here.

I am glad I ran across this site .

Alty and QLP... I have been extremely impressed with you two in particular . Your dedication and caring shows and is a pleasure to see. Glad to have met you.

Martinizing, I too can remember the banner-waving days, been a bit of an ancharchistic idealist myself in my time lol. It does sometimes feel that people are more selfish or complacent these days but scratch the surface and the caring ones can be found. I definatley count Alty and many others here, including yourself, in that pool of good 'uns. Thank you for your kind words, very glad to have met you too.

I guess we all adapt to the times, or in my case perhaps old age :(. When we stop caring that's when I worry.

Sadly, if you were able to make more celebrities aware and angry enough to want to stand up and cause change, you would at least get the info to more of the masses and people would be more likely to take notice. Just look how fast books sell when they are on Oprah's book list!

The tricky part is that few celebrities want to tackle something like this. If it were president bashing, no problem, but to speak out against the practices of another culture gets too risky.
I've heard it mentioned before, but unless it is something that is brought to the public's attention often it becomes forgotten.