Some update: I sent her an email this morning where I asked when I could expect to be payed my salary for December.

She replied this time and apologized. Said things are unusually hard right now as the company is waiting for the big fundings from the City and Ministry. Said she will pay the salary on Thursday and the rest of the money as soon as she can.

I thanked her for letting me know. In the meantime, I got payed from my other small time job and that was a relief. I´ve talked to almost half of my creditors to let them know I won´t be paying them until the 15th of the month. They took it really well.

I also outlined my seminar and sent it to my friend. Then I rewrote my short résumé for menial jobs so it´s ready as I will be applying for 30% position. I´m still waiting for parts of the grant my company got from Brussels, but it is such a bureaucracy there it takes ages.

If the company goes out of business, I will do the project directly with the City and Ministry as I did before, but at a different venue. The company has fundings until 2016. It has cash flow problems as some debts were written off in 2012 and won´t get an overdraft. The project is not going anywhere even if the company goes down and I have my other jobs to sustain me.

We´ll see what happens, but at least I´m not as stressed. I got some really good advice here, thanks a lot!

Well done! It sounds as though you have some good plans in place. You've taken the initiative in some areas and have solid plans in others. Reducing your stress is one of the best achievements of all!
Thank you for the update!

I still think you have to get away from calling it a salary. I don't think it qualifies. You should just refer to it as compensation. I also think you are still being too nice. I really think you need to get everything in writing as to what you compensation is and when it will be paid.

Hi ScottGem,

I get what you say, but this is not an ideal situation. I don´t intend to do this all my life, either. My aim is to make the project bigger, I´m discussing collaboration with the suburbs and eventually the whole country. I was nominated for the Cultural prize last year and although I did not win it, it was recognized. As it will get bigger, I will be needing a bigger compensation, so as soon as I can after the new year, I will ask for a meeting with the board of directors. But ultimately, I want to run this project within the City and Ministry of Culture.

I am thinking about setting up a meeting with my lawyer and discuss this with him after Christmas.

In the meantime, she has payed almost all the outstanding bills I sent for my extra job for the company. I´ll see her tomorrow at work and I need to remind her to pay the compensation.

I am glad that I finally managed to get a dialogue with her about the problem and she is beginning to pay me, although it´s late.

I still think you ask too politely, too often. It's possible to demand without sounding awful. This is business!
"I really want to hand in the work I have just finished, but feel that I have to hold it for ransom. And if the squeaky wheels get the grease first, I'm quite willing to be the most obnoxious one of them all." You are the only one who knows if this will work or backfire.

I had a contract job years ago for MIT, venerable and established institution, but I was working for a department that wasn't used to contract work, so they were very slow to pay. So I said I expected a blanket contract for X dollars per month, with variations carried forward. They accepted that and I got paid immediately, once a month.

I tried to be tough and angry at first and it backfired. She did not even reply to me and we got into a verbal argument. Thankfully no one heard it, but it showed me those tactics do not work with her. She tried to have me replaced for the other job I do and it´s a miracle I kept it.

Although it´s true I find it hard to ask being payed, I think playing it diplomatically with her is the best strategy.

I´m going to talk it over with my lawyer and possibly a person in the City.

I do have problems being assertive when it comes to asking for my rightful payment. Am still tender after years of crippling depression, unemployment and debt, but I´m trying to learn to become more assertive. I see a therapist twice a month.

In this case it may work to your advantage to remain diplomatic. If this is something that you are working towards building on, you have to know where you can burn bridges and where you shouldn't. You can remain steadfast and assertive (think of it as good practice), keeping the issue in the forefront with her until payment is all caught up, while at the same time not ruffling her feathers too much. It's a careful balance to obtain, but one that can reap benefits as you move up to bigger and better opportunities.

Having an agreed upon compensation amount, and time frame for receiving it, in writing is a good idea as was mentioned. It gives you documentation should it ever be needed.

A short update:

She called me last night and apologized. Said she would pay my compensation tomorrow and she already did. Will pay me the rest of what I´m owed before Christmas.

No one else has been fully payed yet, she was waiting for the fundings from a certain European fund who came this morning.

I feel really happy, I can finally relax and start my Christmas preparation... but I will put aside money for next month and increase my emergency funds.

Thanks for all the good advice!

So glad that turned out well for you; especially this time of year !