Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Other Family & People (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=234)
-   -   Bad daughter in law problems? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=589549)

  • Jul 26, 2011, 08:12 AM
    dorycelso
    Bad daughter in law problems?
    I had a problem with my daughter in law, I don't why she don't like me, if you sees her, she was so naïve, sweet, and a very good person. She brought her 2 kids in my house when they had a problem in their house, they have to transfer from another one so they decided to bring the kids for a while, 8 months and 3 years old. I took care of the kids for 4 months then I bring them back in their place and stay there for vacation. I just known her real attitude when I stayed in their house. There were times that I woke up early and prepare our breakfast, then she will wake up and she will not even bother to greet me good morning nor look into me, she will just passed by me with a frowning face, I'll just thought that maybe she was tired of waking up at night for the baby. When we get her from the office she will just hop into the car and not greet me hi, we traveled home without saying any word. Maybe she's tired in the office. When we go shopping I know and feel that she don't like me getting things for myself, even if my son told me to get whatever I wanted. One time the baby was crying at night and I know that they have misunderstanding because my son was the one who stand up to make the baby stop crying, I get up from bed to help my son, but she stopped me and told me to let my son do it. There were times my son will call me up to get ready because we will go out, so I will dress up the baby and do the hair, when they arrived I will then get myself dress, when I finished I am shocked to see that the baby changes the dress and even the hair was styled differently, even all the things in the bag was changed. She will not even say a thing. When my son was around she was good to me, I am not used to it, it was just a 2 month vacation, I will not stay long, I'm expecting a good treatment from her. I don't know what to do, I don't want to cause any trouble between them but I am so hurt with what she done to me. But I want her to know that I know everything she's doing to me, she even post on her wall in Facebook... are you under anesthesia... your so numb!! I knew that it was for me, I want to let her know that I knew it, I'm just keeping it to myself I'll just cry inside the bathroom or sometimes in my bed. I loved my son so much, and my grandchildren. The two kids become so close to me, and I know my son loves me so much. Please advice me for what to do...
  • Jul 26, 2011, 08:50 AM
    JudyKayTee

    If you can't talk to her and ask her what the problem is you need to talk to your son. No one else knows what is going on in their marriage or in her head.

    Perhaps she thinks you are attempting to take over her house. It happens, and it's not always fair to either party.

    Your son loves you very much but allows his wife to mistreat you?
  • Jul 26, 2011, 11:43 AM
    joypulv
    'when they had a problem in their house, they have to transfer from another one.. '

    What problems, what transfer, what was all that about? Did they separate?
    It does sound a little bit like you are unaware of, or unwilling to admit to, their own family problems, either with money or their relationship.
    Although it was nice of you to take care of the kids for 4 months, I don't think I would have felt like I could just arrive at their house for a 2 month 'vacation' as you call it. They both WORK, right? At least we know she works, I assume he works too? As a mother I would have stayed away so that they could fix their marriage. Maybe he had an affair, who knows, it doesn't matter what the reason, they need their house and home alone, and don't feel that they have a right to say so after you took care of the kids. Taking care of the kids should be a GIFT, not a ticket to stay with them.
  • Jul 27, 2011, 06:20 AM
    dontknownuthin

    I would sit down and talk to her and just say, "I feel hurt that we do not have a closer relationship. I feel a lot of disapproval from you for how I do things, but do not know how you want them done with things like the baby. I'm just trying to help, and feel like you resent what I do. Can we try to just talk kindly to each other and come to some understanding - I don't want to offend or bother you and I'm sure you don't want to hurt my feelings." If she can't have a mature conversation with you, then she can't, but it's worth trying.

    Having multiple generations in a household is not ideal - she may just be upset that this is the arrangement and that your son has not supported the family adequately for them to live on their own, with you left to your own separate housing. She may be taking anger at your son out on you.

    Best wishes.
  • Jul 31, 2011, 08:01 AM
    Jake2008
    She doesn't owe you anything- friendship, loyalty, etc.

    If you visited for two months, you've overstayed your welcome.

    Time to go home.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:07 AM.