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-   -   How we look and why it's so important (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=256433)

  • Sep 14, 2008, 03:29 PM
    liz28
    I can't even go shopping for my daughter because everything is cut short. Skirts are micro-mini, pants are low rise, and buying shoes is even a challenge. If I do buy stuff I have to add to it but most of the time I make my daughter own clothes because it is a shame what they make for kids. One time when I was on the train I saw this girl around the same age as my daughter with a micro-miniskirts, tan top, and her shoes had to at least be 4 inches. Everyone on the train was looking at the daughter like what the hell and looking at the mom saying "you should be ashamed to have your daughter dress that way", with their eyes. It ashamed even in kids shoes everything has a heel.
  • Sep 14, 2008, 03:47 PM
    starbuck8
    Well I don't know if this is getting a little bit off topic here, but has anyone heard about these "Purity Balls" that the parents are now throwing for their kids? It used to be a simple sweet sixteen party, but now they are planning these purity balls like they are weddings! The parents are spending thousands of dollars, just because their daughter OR son, has signed a piece of paper saying they will remain "pure". Until marriage.

    Now does anyone think that will work? Doubt it! The kids want a big party that's all! What happened to just teaching your kids to understand consequences! Has anyone here ever felt like rewarding their child with a huge party for merely respecting herself... or himself?

    (just a disclaimer... I was no Angel when I was younger, and I still am probably not in some peoples eyes... I derserve it now though... lol)
  • Sep 15, 2008, 07:26 AM
    Emland
    My local newspaper wrote an article about "sagging" just last week. Bans on a popular fashion say what sags must come up | HamptonRoads.com | PilotOnline.com

    Here's the photo they used

    http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i72/emland/167531.jpg

    What's really funny is under the photo is a hyperlink that says "click for full view." Uh, thanks, but no thanks.

    I can't talk about a fashion trend being stupid - I graduated in 1985 and subjected myself to all sorts of fashion faux pas, but what I don't get is how uncomfortable this must be. I can't stand it if the crotch hangs so much as a half inch. How do they put up with cinching it below their butt?
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:51 AM
    ChihuahuaMomma
    Fun fact: Sagging was invented by prisoners to let others know they were AVAILABLE for fun, if you know what I'm saying. Now, why that became a trend, I don't know.
  • Sep 15, 2008, 09:54 AM
    Alty
    One good thing about this trend, it insures that they'll always wear clean underwear. :)

    If my son ever decided to leave the house looking like that, I'd lock him in his room until he got some good taste. Underwear is just that, under the things you wear. I just want to yank on the back of this kids pants, give him a wedgie he won't soon forget.
  • Sep 16, 2008, 02:07 AM
    iAMfromHuntersBar
    I thought you guys on this thread would find these two articles interesting... I certainly did!

    BBC NEWS | Magazine | Making the world understand my face

    BBC NEWS | Magazine | How should you react to disfigurement?
  • Sep 17, 2008, 07:04 AM
    SweetDee
    Hey there! Wow you guys certainly keep things interesting!

    Sagging, honestly does not offend me. Trends don't make me feel judgemental. No matter what. I just understand that kids/teens are very highly sensitized to what they look upon as fashion or self propelled expression. It's just that deep, (I think) for them.

    I'm surrounded by teens day in and day out... as a mom. I see all kinds of style walk thru' my door. You can't believe what comes into my house! When I get to know these kids, they're all so AWESOME.

    I'm not sure who brought up me posting a pic of myself... but I honestly don't know HOW, (I'm computer challenged:( sorry! I'll ask my hubby how one day and then I'll have some.. ). I don't mean to come across like I think I'm "beautiful". That sounds so conceited. I know I am blessed, if I really think about it, but it's been the bane of my existence just the same... as it's hindered me in so many respects, (that TOO sounds conceited. This just can't come across as humble! I can't expect anyone to understand what I mean without it sounding so self absorbed. I just hope you don't think the worst of me for being honest and responding to the comment about my being beautiful... ). The good news is that it is true that with age comes change. It's becoming easier as I age.

    Purity Balls sound similar to Sweet 16's in that a big party is set up very extravagantly. I'm not sure how I feel about Purity Balls. On the one hand teens thrive on reward... but on the other it almost feels like an expensive bribe, no? (Couldn't they celebrate absinance on a smaller scale and it be as big a reward? The same could be said for Sweets... )
  • Sep 17, 2008, 08:57 AM
    Emland
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by iAMfromHuntersBar
    I thought you guys on this thread would find these two articles interesting ... I certainly did!

    BBC NEWS | Magazine | Making the world understand my face
    [/url]

    Great article. The descriptions of the way people treat her and things that have been said to her made me angry. What a bunch of inconsiderate idiots.

    My son has special needs, but his disability is "invisible." It isn't until he opens his mouth that you can tell he is developmentally delayed, i.e. pronounced stutter and juvenile subject matter. He has gone to school and played baseball with kids that have moderate to severe appearance issues - his classmate last year suffere a stroke and is dealing with the resultant paralysis; two of his buddies on the baseball team have cerebral palsy, etc.

    The moms tell me that the stares are the worst, but the people that won't make eye contact are almost as bad. I have kept that in mind over the years and remember to look whomever in the eye and smile and say a simple "Hello."
  • Sep 17, 2008, 09:07 AM
    SweetDee
    I suppose the homeless feel the same too in some ways... never having anyone look at them in the eye and say hello.

    We're all so focused on the wrong things in this life, aren't we? It's what is on the INSIDE that make us who we are!

    How can anyone conceive to know what we're like till we're given the time of day...
  • Sep 17, 2008, 09:16 AM
    kp2171
    Jumping in here late.

    I don't think anyone should be guilty of having certain preferences in a mate... obviously for a long lasting relationship there needs to be balance... both a physical attraction and a mental connection. My cousin, a rather fit 40 something, is married to and has always been attracted to "bigger girls", as his wife says. Its how he is wired. To each their own.

    One of my wife's fav birthday cards had a bare chested, hunk of a man on the front cover and it read "no matter how good he looks"... then on the inside it said "somewhere, someone is TIRED of putting up with his crap"...

    So... I like certain physical traits in mates. Doesn't make me a bad guy even if that means it excludes other possible mates who are good mental matches but not physically what pushes the primal buttons. Likewise, I'm very attracted to strong women, and one of the sexiest girls I know isn't hardly a "match" for me physically, but id chase her in a heartbeat if I weren't married.

    So there needs to be some balance. Let yourself have your fetishes, connect mentally. Poof. Happiness.

    Or something like that.

    As for money... we're friends with a couple whose yearly xmas letter reads like a year of national geographic mags... their guest house in malibu is twice the size as our home. So what? We still connect. Likewise, I have a friend who is likely to die penniless. He's a screw up, irresponsible, but a good guy in some ways... if he could only get his head out of his... well, you know.

    no... we shouldn't judge just by appearance. And we shouldn't be ashamed to admit we have preferences, fetishes, etc.

    Balance in most things goes a long way.
  • Sep 17, 2008, 09:29 AM
    Alty
    Quote:

    likewise, I'm very attracted to strong women, and one of the sexiest girls I know isn't hardly a "match" for me physically, but id chase her in a heartbeat if I weren't married.
    Aw, KP, me too. Wait, were you talking about me? ;)
  • Sep 17, 2008, 11:17 AM
    SweetDee
    Or maybe talkin' about meeee?? ;)
  • Sep 17, 2008, 11:18 AM
    starbuck8
    No I really think he was talking about me! :p :D LOL!
  • Sep 17, 2008, 11:48 AM
    Alty
    Oh great, we're going to give the guy a swelled head, three women fighting for him. ;)

    But really, I was here first! :D
  • Sep 17, 2008, 03:05 PM
    Synnen
    ...

    Well, I was going to say "I'd chase you too, KP!", but obviously, you already HAVE too many women chasing you.

    So... you can just chase me and I'll let you.
  • Sep 17, 2008, 03:07 PM
    Alty
    Synnen, I think KP is running from the bulls, or coyotes, or something. Poor guy, he's too smooth for his own good. ;)

    I'll fight for him though, put up your dukes girl, bring it on! :)
  • Sep 17, 2008, 05:27 PM
    kp2171
    You ladies own me and you know it.

    Smilin' ear to ear.
  • Sep 17, 2008, 09:23 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kp2171
    you ladies own me and you know it.

    smilin' ear to ear.

    You better believe it baby. :D

    Can I put that quote in my sig? ;)
  • Sep 18, 2008, 04:16 AM
    SweetDee
    Last year I donated my time as a volunteer to the school that my daughter goes to. My friend and I would car pool, as we both had basically the same hours. The reception I got was very warm and inviting on our first day... not so much for my friend. As we, the volunteer faculty were all standing around the staff's quarters adjusting our schedules for the following month... the ladies were all accommodating and super polite and humorous w/ me. For Cindy they barely made eye contact... gave her the dates to volunteer that suited the group rather than herself. I later found out it was because she does not drive a "nice" car and isn't considered attractive... so therefore unacceptable, in their standards, (lol!) CAN YOU GET OVER THAT?

    The way I found out about this was that one of the women in the "group" were working so hard to be my friend... (which usually never happens to me... ), she actually said this to me: "Cindy just isn't our type of people, if you know what I mean"!! I said, "No, I don't really know what you mean". She said, "Well, *with a giggle* we like to look good and be a class above the rest"... I WAS SHOCKED! I just couldn't believe it. I also couldn't believe she said that OUT LOUD, even if her sick mind was thinking it!

    I became so quickly accepted and Cindy was totally out of the loop. She's ask me all the time, "Do you get the feeling that these ladies don't like me?" I told her that they all seem to be mentally challenged anyhow so it doesn't matter. Cindy tried so hard to fit in... I couldn't bear to tell her why her attempts fell on deaf ears. It was simply too stupid!

    I stopped volunteering for a while... and now I'm back. Sure "the ladies" are still there and ever as eager to have me back... but now I just pay little or no attention to the crazy that lives within the minds of those status seekers.

    Can you believe people like that exist? And it's not just in Soap Opera's. Don't you just find that the most odd way to think and live? Well, I do...
  • Sep 18, 2008, 05:57 AM
    Synnen
    See... I'm just not a nice person.

    My response to her after her comment about Cindy not being "their type of people", I would have said something along the lines of "Oh! Is THAT what you're trying to be like? I would never have guessed!" and walked away.

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