Ask Me Help Desk - Is It Really Fair? If so, to Who?

You see. I had a baby like that 22 years ago. Do you think my decision was an easy one? No, it wasn't and I still live with it to this day.

I would never "kill" a child, but mine had no hope for life and the fetus itself made my body septic. Without doing what I had to medically do, both the child and I would have died. I didn't have a choice Hope12.

Now, I don't agree with terminating a pregnancy as a form of birth control. No, to me that is wrong. Yet, you go on and give me a reddie without responding to the REAL issue at hand.

I have had 4 more children since then, and all are healthy and wonderful. I never would have terminated if my life were not in danger.

You can preach your holiness all you want, but until you walk in my shoes you will never know what it truly feels like.

And yes, I am offended by most of what you have said. You can't truly understand the pain I feel when I see someone like you posting and preaching your holier than thou attitude the way you do, on a subject such as this, without having some compassion for those of us who are not given a choice but to terminate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

You see. I had a baby like that 22 years ago. Do you think my decision was an easy one? No, it wasn't and I still live with it to this day.

I would never "kill" a child, but mine had no hope for life and the fetus itself made my body septic. Without doing what I had to medically do, both the child and I would have died. I didn't have a choice Hope12.

Now, I don't agree with terminating a pregnancy as a form of birth control. No, to me that is wrong. Yet, you go on and give me a reddie without responding to the REAL issue at hand.

I have had 4 more children since then, and all are healthy and wonderful. I never would have terminated if my life were not in danger.

You can preach your holiness all you want, but until you walk in my shoes you will never know what it truly feels like.

And yes, I am offended by most of what you have said. You can't truly understand the pain I feel when I see someone like you posting and preaching your holier than thou attitude the way you do, on a subject such as this, without having some compassion for those of us who are not given a choice but to terminate.

J9,
You are so strong to have made such a tough decision.

I agree with you J9, though I have never experienced anything like yours, my belief/religion will allow me to abort any pregnancy if it is an endangerment to me or to the baby in my womb.

Hope,
I don't really think you understand what to believe about anything, without referring to the bible. THat isn't a bad thing, but it isn't the way all of us decide what we believe and what is true. You think because you say that the bible says this or that, that you are just telling us what the "truth" is and what is in your heart. Well my question to you is, what is in your heart and your mind, without looking to the bible for answers? After all, those are words written by men who think they understood what God's message was and wanted to share it. However, this was done with their own perceptions and therefore, it too, is not the end all be all of What God wants for us. I was raised in a Catholic conservative family. NO one believes abortion is the right choice, for most circumstances. I too believed this, until I got older and became more aware of life and what I really believe. I am a mother, and I am one who believes in God, not the way you do, but just the same, I believe. I don't have any judgment about you thinking abortion is wrong, except that they way you preach religion, you are giving everyone the impression that you have to save everyone and help them see the REAL TRUTH. The truth is, you don't know what other people have to go through to make that decision. As J9 mentioned, her experience was one that left her no choice but to abort a child who would have died anyway. IT doesn't help when people like you write these kinds of posts talking about a fetus asking a mommy why are you doing this? It appears as though you are trying to make people feel guilty about making such a decision, through guilt and religion you are trying to sway people. IT isn't effective. It engrages those of us who have experienced this for whatever reason, and feel like they are being personally attacked. I don't think you realize that those people that are pro choice, don't go around preaching about why they are pro choice, unless they are being attacked or their rights are being limited, by those that are pro life. Abortion is something that is always going to be controversial. People will always have their own opinions. YOu choose life, others don't. Being compassionate means to understand that those that do choose different, aren't any less close to God than you are. It means that they have decided what is best for them. NO one is preaching to you how to not keep your baby, so why preach to those that don't want to keep theirs? The hippocrisy comes in the way you feel your approach and perspective is the only way. I am not saying my way is the only way, but to respect my difference. That is what I mean about being compassionate. To be a soldier for God, you must be compassionate about what you don't understand or agree with. I don't understand or agree with your perception, but you put it out there for me to give you my opinion. I wouldn't berate you with my outlook, if you weren't asking the question, IS this fair? I would let you live your life and never tell you that you should think the way I do. That is the difference between you and me. I am saying this is my belief and my truth, and anyone can disagree, but respect my opinions. You are saying ,this is your belief and it is your duty to make everyone understand it, so that they won't decide to abort their baby.VERY different than my approach. So to say that I am a hippocrite or that I am judgmental, is simply not true. I am not judging your perception, I am simply arguing that your perspective is not the only one, and thus, I disagree that it is harmful to IMPOSE YOUR beliefs on everyone that does think different.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Let me ask if aborting a fetus with anecephaly is considered murder. Anecephaly is a cephalic disorder that results from a neural tube defect that occurs when the cephalic (head) end of the neural tube fails to close, usually between the 23rd and 26th day of pregnancy, resulting in the absence of a major portion of the brain, skull, and scalp. Infants with this disorder are born without a forebrain, the largest part of the brain consisting mainly of the cerebral hemispheres (which include the isocortex, which is responsible for higher level cognition. The remaining brain tissue is often exposed - not covered by bone or skin.

These children typically do not live one hour after birth, if they live this long.

Is this murder if the woman chooses abortion then?

Does no one believe there may be medical reasons for abortion?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...phaly_side.jpg

Is it murder to have an abortion when you know that this baby will not live but a few hours at most?

J9,
I just saw the above post and it is so sad,but true.Some medical conditions make a baby less likely to survive.
I agree with you, it is not murder to have an abortion when you know that the baby will not live but a few hours at most.
There are and can be medical reasons for an abortion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

Hope, while you are entitled to your belief that a clump of cells is a valid human being--it is just that, a BELIEF.

I personally believe that until that clump of cells is a fetus, and is viable outside of its mothers body, that it is JUST A CLUMP OF CELLS.

I am trying desperately to get pregnant. I placed a child for adoption. I STILL believe that choosing abortion is no more callous and selfish in some cases than choosing to get cancer removed from your body. When one chooses abortion they are choosing to get rid of a GROWTH that is UNWANTED and can affect one's health and sanity.

I am not imposing my beliefs on you. If you don't want an abortion, by all means don't get one. I didn't get one either, because I thought that little life should have a chance. I don't, however, run around imposing my beliefs on other people because I disagree with them. Legal abortion = SAFE abortion, and there are enough valid reasons to get an abortion that it needs to stay legal. Of course some people abuse that--just like people abuse the Welfare System. That doesn't mean it should be gotten rid of entirely because SOME people abuse it.

If you don't like abortion - GREAT! It's a free country, and luckily, you can believe what you want.

If you start trying to make it illegal, I'll be forced to stand up to you and fight to keep it legal.

As to your argument that women who choose abortion are murderers--are you going to start putting them on trial for that? And if that's the case, are you going to try women who have miscarried for manslaughter (which is, of course, accidental death)?

You can not possibly imagine what goes through the mind of a woman who chooses abortion. Please stop assuming that everyone is just aborting fetuses left and right because it's "inconvenient". Every woman I know that has had an abortion, did it for health reasons.

I'll pray for you, since you obviously have problems with the whole idea that God will judge men and women for their hard choices, not you.

Most people do disagree with what I say because it is not what they want. When it comes to God's laws, I feel it is not important what I want but what God requires of me.

Thank you for your reply however there is no debate with me when it comes to obeying God's laws, and personal ideas and choices.

Take care,
Hope12

I guess the big difference lies in the fact that a lot of people think for themselves versus following the verses from a book than can be interpreted various ways.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hope12

Most people do disagree with what I say because it is not what they want. When it comes to God's laws, I feel it is not important what I want but what God requires of me.

Thank you for your reply however their is no debate with me when it comes to obeying God's laws, and personal ideas and choices.

Take care,
Hope12

Hope12, Sweet, God wouldn't want you to suffer in that instance... he would forgive you if there was reason to... I think he knows how faithful you are and I really don't think you are understanding what he is really about... God would be like this... (in my own mind)
"Hope12, I am sorry, I am not ready for you to have this child yet, please I am also not ready to lose you....you have a choice....please make it" Hope replies... "But God, it is against your laws to get an abortion" God says " Hope, it ia against my laws to kill your self...."
This is all I can come up with... I see your faithfulness... but sometimes... we have to be reasonable...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hope12

Most people do disagree with what I say because it is not what they want. When it comes to God's laws, I feel it is not important what I want but what God requires of me.

Thank you for your reply however their is no debate with me when it comes to obeying God's laws, and personal ideas and choices.

Take care,
Hope12

You still avoid my question to you. Why is that Hope? Because in my instance you know I am right?

My termination was NOT CHOICE, yet you skirt over my personal issue and reply to everyone else. You only see abortion as a choice, not a necessity in some instances.

What is the matter Hope? What scares you about that Hope?

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

You still avoid my question to you. Why is that Hope? Because in my instance you know I am right?

My termination was NOT CHOICE, yet you skirt over my personal issue and reply to everyone else. You only see abortion as a choice, not a necessity in some instances.

What is the matter Hope? What scares you about that Hope?

You know. Your realii starting to take it to major offense. j9 I don't like how you're just acting with this whole situation. Hope is just stating the opinions that feel are important to mention. OK your termination was not choice, but it doesn't mean you should be arguing with hope. Abortion is wrong. Period. Done with. I agree with hope. If you don't, then that's you. Hope knows what she's saying, and that's all there is to it.
Any more questions, feel free to email me
EMAIL REMOVED
Thanks
Bye
Kathy
GOD BLESS

What did you just read the last post and that is it? I hate to tell you but NO that is NOT just IT... Apparently you are new at this but you need to be more well informed before you open your mouth about what everyone on this thread has discussed. Hope has very distinct and strict religious beliefs, but that doesn't mean her opinions are the ultimate truth or correct perspective for EVERYONE. READ THE ENTIRE THREAD BEFORE MAKING SUCH ASSUMPTIOnS. To assume is to make an A$$ of you and me!

I don't know but it irks the SH!t out of me when people do that!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by improchoice_ichooseLIFE

j9 i dont like how you're just acting with this whole situation.

Personally, Kathy, I don't care if you don't like how I am acting with this whole situation, who am I to care what you think? I know what was right for me and other women in my shoes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by improchoice_ichooseLIFE

hope is just stating the opinions that feel are important to mention.

Opinions are like a$$holes, we all have one. Sorry if I offended anyone with that remark, but I hate it when people post and run like Kathy did. Just look at her name, most likely she signed on here just to put this last jab in improchoice_ichooseLIFE

And, lastly, Hope started the thread, she should expect all the repercussions that come along with opening a can of worms and starting a thread that is such a sensitive subject for some.

I know this is dragging up an old discussion, but I thought people from both sides of this argument would like to read this news item;

BBC NEWS | UK | Abortion stories: Relief and regret

Which puts across two sides of the story!

J