Ask Me Help Desk - Why isn't my former teacher responding to my texts?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

I have to ask, and I'm not sure if anyone already asked this, but this is my gut speaking. Are you attracted to this teacher? Is this a sexual attraction, and that's why you're so upset that she hasn't contacted you?

It really sounds like more than just a teacher student relationship. The fact is, if you are attracted to her, and she meets with you, becomes a friend (because there's no reason to think that she's also attracted to you based on what you've posted), she could lose her job. Just forming a friendship with you, seeing you out of school, contacting you when she's no longer your teacher, could lead to her losing her job. Sounds to me like she figured out that you want more than just a pat on the back ,and good luck in your future, and she's now protecting her future by ceasing all contact.

No! I'm not attracted to her whatsoever. I mean yeah she's really pretty and I'm a little jealous but no I do not have a crush on her. My mom has told me she probably is just being careful because she's young and doesn't have a lot of experience. A lot of bad things happen in this world that I think she is just being careful and I understand that. I looked up some things to make sure students and teachers can even have a relationship after they graduates or whatever and a lot of people actually do hangout with their former teachers. I don't see why she would lose her Job because she stays in touch with a former student she has 2 years ago? My cousin is a teacher, she hangs out with former students. My step mom is a teacher and I check with her before I do anything. In about month me and my other teacher are going to meet up. I don't see the problem.

You aren't paying attention - is that a problem for you in school?

You may not see the problem. Your teacher does.

When I was 25 I had no interest in "hanging out" with 16 year olds. Maybe she thinks the same way.

And I'm not sure "Alty" didn't nail it - something about this isn't ringing true.

I also think after you've posted 17 times and it's right back where it started it's time for a Mod to close the thread.

I am surprised that your parents don't have a problem with you posting on an adult site when you apparently aren't terribly mature.

Once you get a "curious" thought in your head you won't let go will you. Please let this rest and see if you get a reply. Maybe its your curiosity pushing you, or maybe she is busy and trying to establish boundaries between you.

Relax and let time tell without you pushing to hard to satisfy that curiosity. You write well and I am sure she is proud, as there is no telling what's going on in her life so just chill for a while and see if she contacts you. If not then take the hint and back off.

Our "curiosity" cannot always be satisfied. If you cannot let it go, it does become obsessive. Now that's annoying and scary. Don't scare her if you like her, just understand and be mature about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordonj

No! I'm not attracted to her whatsoever. I mean yeah she's really pretty and I'm a little jealous but no I do not have a crush on her. My mom has told me she probably is just being careful because she's young and doesn't have a lot of experience. A lot of bad things happen in this world that I think she is just being careful and I understand that. I looked up some things to make sure students and teachers can even have a relationship after they graduates or whatever and a lot of people actually do hangout with their former teachers. I don't see why she would lose her Job because she stays in touch with a former student she has 2 years ago? My cousin is a teacher, she hangs out with former students. My step mom is a teacher and I check with her before I do anything. In about month me and my other teacher are going to meet up. I don't see the problem.

If you're not attracted to her, and you have friends your own age, why are you so obsessed with this teacher? It's not healthy.

Has your step mother told you to leave this young teacher alone? Has any adult in your life told you that your behavior is inappropriate?

You texted, she didn't reply. She's making it very clear that she doesn't wish to be friends with you, and that's perfectly fine, and the norm when it comes to teachers and students. You obviously like her, but it isn't her job to be your friend, especially now that you're no longer in her class. She did her job, and that's all it was, a job. I don't know many normal 25 year old adults that want to hang out with a 16 year old child. Those that do, usually have ulterior motives.

She's young, she probably regrets giving you her number, because she probably thought you would never call. Now you're texting her, bugging her to meet with you, and you won't stop. She most likely has no idea how to go about telling you that she was your teacher, she was only doing her job, and she doesn't want to be friends with a child, especially a former student.

You stated that she's not the only one you try to contact, that there's another teacher as well. Has anyone recommended therapy for you? It's a bit alarming that you're trying to form friendships with people that are in an authoritative position over you. They really are risking their jobs by seeing you outside of school, befriending you, texting with you. Hopefully the other teacher you contact wises up and realizes she's putting her career at stake by being friends with an obsessed kid.

Get help for this, it's not normal, and it's actually very scary that you're this obsessed about your teachers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Once you get a "curious" thought in your head you won't let go will you. Please let this rest and see if you get a reply. Maybe its your curiosity pushing you, or maybe she is busy and trying to establish boundaries between you.

Relax and let time tell without you pushing to hard to satisfy that curiosity. You write well and I am sure she is proud, as there is no telling what's going on in her life so just chill for a while and see if she contacts you. If not then take the hint and back off.

Our "curiosity" cannot always be satisfied. If you cannot let it go, it does become obsessive. Now that's annoying and scary. Don't scare her if you like her, just understand and be mature about it.

I finally got to hear something I needed to hear. Thank you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alty

If you're not attracted to her, and you have friends your own age, why are you so obsessed with this teacher? It's not healthy.

Has your step mother told you to leave this young teacher alone? Has any adult in your life told you that your behavior is inappropriate?

You texted, she didn't reply. She's making it very clear that she doesn't wish to be friends with you, and that's perfectly fine, and the norm when it comes to teachers and students. You obviously like her, but it isn't her job to be your friend, especially now that you're no longer in her class. She did her job, and that's all it was, a job. I don't know many normal 25 year old adults that want to hang out with a 16 year old child. Those that do, usually have ulterior motives.

She's young, she probably regrets giving you her number, because she probably thought you would never call. Now you're texting her, bugging her to meet with you, and you won't stop. She most likely has no idea how to go about telling you that she was your teacher, she was only doing her job, and she doesn't want to be friends with a child, especially a former student.

You stated that she's not the only one you try to contact, that there's another teacher as well. Has anyone recommended therapy for you? It's a bit alarming that you're trying to form friendships with people that are in an authoritative position over you. They really are risking their jobs by seeing you outside of school, befriending you, texting with you. Hopefully the other teacher you contact wises up and realizes she's putting her career at stake by being friends with an obsessed kid.

Get help for this, it's not normal, and it's actually very scary that you're this obsessed about your teachers.

I'm not obsessed with her, I promise. I've sent her two texts and did not hear back from her. I assumed she was too busy or forgot to reply (this was a month ago). So today, I thought why not ask this question online to get other peoples opinion and advice. Instead y'all accuse me of being obsessed. Y'all make it sound worse than it really is. Enough with the negative comments please.

How do you tell people they mean a lot to you?

If you were to tell a friend they mean a lot to you, how would you tell them? What would you say?

That would vary person to person... based on your actual relationship with them... and both your personality types.

Meaning there is no one simple answer to this.

In what ways do they mean a lot to you? What is it you really want to say ?
What type of friend?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

in what ways do they mean a lot to you? What is it you really want to say ?
What type of friend?

Well I'm close to someone and I was wondering if I should say "You mean a lot to me" or is there's another way of saying it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordonj

Well I'm close to someone and I was wondering if I should say "You mean a lot to me" or is theres another way of saying it?

There are tons of ways.

I love being your friend.
Our friendship is awesome.
We together are so much fun.
Etc. Etc. Etc...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordonj

Well I'm close to someone and I was wondering if I should say "You mean a lot to me" or is theres another way of saying it?

You are the whipped cream on top of my pumpkin pie.

You are the sizzle in my steak.

You are the hot fudge in my ice cream sundae.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You are the whipped cream on top of my pumpkin pie.

You are the sizzle in my steak.

You are the hot fudge in my ice cream sundae.

I like those!

How about:

You are the bounce in my tennis ball. Haha. I just made that up. Kind of stoooopid if you ask me.

:)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

There are tons of ways.

I love being your friend.
Our friendship is awesome.
We together are so much fun.
Etc. Etc. Etc...

Can't I just say she means a lot to me?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordonj

Can't I just say she means a lot to me?

Yes. We tried to be creative since you asked us what would we say..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Yes. We tried to be creative since you asked us what would we say..

And thank you for sharing!!

I would just say what's in my heart. After all, this is a friend, so why can't you just say what's on your mind, and in your heart? You don't need fancy words to tell someone you care about them, and everyone likes to hear they mean something special to someone.

Lots of good advice from everyone, just curious, were you wanting to say this to a friend, or to a previous teacher?

Quote:

Originally Posted by aliseaodo

Lots of good advice from everyone, just curious, were you wanting to say this to a friend, or to a previous teacher?

Excellent question.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-...ts-754444.html

Quote:

Originally Posted by aliseaodo

Lots of good advice from everyone, just curious, were you wanting to say this to a friend, or to a previous teacher?

Good sleuthing. I thought the username sounded familiar, but I didn't go back and look at other question. I had hoped the OP had given up on her obsession with her former teacher. Maybe not. :(